The 100 Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms

[Superhobo]

You know, as much as I disagree with Slim (understatement of the year), I just can't condone crap like this. I'm surprised Matt went so far, to be honest. Even if you think Slim is an *******, that's just not cool. Child abuse just isn't something you throw back into somebody's face...

True.


*Edits*


I should've edited that out sooner, 'yer right.

 

[Obi-Ron]

Jesus was a pacificist?? What passage do you get that from? He called out the Pharisees and cleared the temple twice!!!

Let he who is without sin...kick the first ass!

 

[Arc-Light]

Divine revelations Slim, that's the bible for you.....not one person who wrote the Bible was alive when Jesus was on this earth. So how in thee hell would you know what Jesus said and did. To me i would think Jesus was a super hippie who preached peace and love on a hill side everything else is bs, or goes against everything Jesus would stand for.

 

[Captain_BluTac]

And I don't think Jesus would judge people cus think about it he was screwing around with a hooker who is he to judge.

 

[Mister Sinister]

I hear he was more a fan of Phill Collin's later work.

 

[Matt]

You know, as much as I disagree with Slim (understatement of the year), I just can't condone crap like this. I'm surprised Matt went so far, to be honest. Even if you think Slim is an *******, that's just not cool. Child abuse just isn't something you throw back into somebody's face...

I only throw it back because of how Slim has bragged about how he was treated, admits that he treats his children the same way, and thinks it was perfectly normal to get beat for having Cs in school.

 

[Logan's Lady]

Divine revelations Slim, that's the bible for you.....not one person who wrote the Bible was alive when Jesus was on this earth. So how in thee hell would you know what Jesus said and did. To me i would think Jesus was a super hippie who preached peace and love on a hill side everything else is bs, or goes against everything Jesus would stand for.

Um yes, the writers of the gospels lived and talked with Jesus and they wrote down what Jesus said and did. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, James..... and more of them lived with Jesus and wrote books in the Bible.

 

[hippy fascist]

Um yes, the writers of the gospels lived and talked with Jesus and they wrote down what Jesus said and did. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, James..... and more of them lived with Jesus and wrote books in the Bible.

It's interesting that those people all have anglo-saxon derived names...

were there many german/english families living in israel at that point in history

and also if you want to contest that they all wrote their stories from first hand experience please explain to me why each gospel portrays the resurrection in a completely different fashion

then of course we could talk about how the majority of christian religious ceremonies occur on the dates of and mimic traditions from significant times in the calendars of religions that pre-date it. (christmas for example is a pagan festival right down to the dressing of a tree, easter is a festival of fertility, essentially every new religion that comes alone takes something from previous religions and tries to rebrand it under their own banner.)

Ultimately, I find it somewhat ironic that someone who espouses the teachings of Jesus so heavily cannot spot allegory when he sees it.

It's a nice story, it has some good messages and some bad, but ultimately, if the bible was a film it would be preceeded by the words

"based on a true story"​

 

[squeekness]

It's interesting that those people all have anglo-saxon derived names...

were there many german/english families living in israel at that point in history

and also if you want to contest that they all wrote their stories from first hand experience please explain to me why each gospel portrays the resurrection in a completely different fashion

then of course we could talk about how the majority of christian religious ceremonies occur on the dates of and mimic traditions from significant times in the calendars of religions that pre-date it. (christmas for example is a pagan festival right down to the dressing of a tree, easter is a festival of fertility, essentially every new religion that comes alone takes something from previous religions and tries to rebrand it under their own banner.)

Ultimately, I find it somewhat ironic that someone who espouses the teachings of Jesus so heavily cannot spot allegory when he sees it.

It's a nice story, it has some good messages and some bad, but ultimately, if the bible was a film it would be preceeded by the words

"based on a true story"​

It is believed and generally accepted by most scholars that the first gospel that was written -- Mark -- was written by a disciple of Peter. It wouldn't have been first hand, but second is very close. It is thought that this gospel was written only a decade or so after Jesus's death. The target audience were Jews and so it written towards them.

Matthew was written shortly after, targeting Samaria and so was writen a little differently. It is believed that Matthew was an actual disciple.

Luke was written about 60AD or so by Luke, a close friend and disciple of Paul. Paul did not know Jesus, but he did confer many times with Peter in Jerusalem hashing out doctrine. Luke targets the Gentiles and so was written differently towards them.

The last Gospel written was John, supposedly by John, a very young and close disciple of Jesus. It was written around 90 or so, supposedly after the Temple destruction in 70AD. It was written in a sort of protest against organized church rituals which is why the breaking of bread in the Last Supper never takes place. That later was converted into the ritual of Communion which made some early Christians nervous I guess. It also shows a higher Christology, folks by then more fully believed Jesus was fully divine and had been so from birth.

All the different books had different targets and were written at different times in the devoloping churches. Not all these guys consulted with each other so what should be more remarkable is not how the books differ, but how they are similar. At any rate, Jesus died around 33AD or so, the last book was written around 90 or so, that's still pretty close, especially when you consider this was a culture that prided itself on memoriazation and its oral tradition.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Great example of the PC, namby pamby, hyper-sensitive bull**** culture here.
Slim himself says "I'll tell ya what straightened ME out! Gettin' a wh00pin' . That's how I'll raise mah kids toO!"

And then it's mentioned and everyone, with no personal knowledge of the reference, hears "Whoopin'" and thinks, "Oh God, we must not throw a serious thing like domestic abuse back in the victim's face. Worry-worry-wring hands-worry."


HA!, laughable.
It IS to laugh.

 

[jaguarr]

Sounds like Wil didn't get beat enough when he was a kid.

jag

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Sounds like Wil didn't get beat enough when he was a kid.

jag

Hey, child abuse is not a thing of whimsy for us to be silly about.
Infract his ass!

 

[hippy fascist]

Hey, child abuse is not a thing of whimsy for us to be silly about.
Infract his ass!

 

[Simon Phoenix]

no one here is really going to change anyone's mind...might as well all go on our merry way and start talking about Ren and Stimpy again

 

[jaguarr]

Are you suggesting Wil wears that while he beats me? And I thought I was a sicko.

jag

 

[hippy fascist]

Are you suggesting Wil wears that while he beats me? And I thought I was a sicko.

jag

I spent my childhood watching far too many subtitled eastern european films

Channel 4 late night in the 80s/90s = I can't believe it's not porn

 

[jaguarr]

I spent my childhood watching far too many subtitled eastern european films

Channel 4 late night in the 80s/90s = I can't believe it's not porn

At least you don't blame your parents.

jag

 

[hippy fascist]

well, y'know, it was only the one time...why cry over spilt bodily fluids?

 

[Midnyte_Sun]

When do Christians do this?? And please don't go back to the Crusades. Tell me where on this planet is this type of thing happening?

The gospel is how this message is spread. The Christian God does not want a relationship by force. Show me a Christian missionary making someone convert by force. You are always given a choice to reject or accept the gospel.

Just on the news the other day they talked about the "the Father of "Palestinian Terrorism" and he isn't Muslim, but Christian. His name was George Habash, he was the founder of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP).

Terrorism isn't isolated to one group of people or to one faith. Zionists used terrorism against the British to attain Israel. The Lords Resistance Army in Africa is a Christian militia group responsible for rape, torture, mutiliation, human trafficking and every other human rights crime that the the UN has laws for. Its not faith or a Bible, or a Koran that does this. Its about POWER, its about CONTROL, its about certain people forcing others to do their will through FEAR and INTIMIDATION.

This has been going on for thousands of years. The Bible says to stone unchaste women and kill gays, but we don't believe that today do we? Nobody is out there promoting that and theres a reason for that...people just don't believe that anymore.

Now the parts of the Bible we promote are the ones promoting peace, love for Jesus, and so forth. The same goes for radical Islam, its a reactionary movement based on socio-political conflicts due to Post-Colonial headaches.

You can see a clear pattern of political upheavel in post-colonial countries: Iraq, Iran, Lebanon, British Palestine (ie. Israel/Palestine), the Balkans, African nations (pick one), Pakistan, Afghanistan (even though Afghanistan was never defeated by Colonial and Imperial forces, this has left the country political and geographically polarized and isolated).

 

[Matt]

Great example of the PC, namby pamby, hyper-sensitive bull**** culture here.
Slim himself says "I'll tell ya what straightened ME out! Gettin' a wh00pin' . That's how I'll raise mah kids toO!"

And then it's mentioned and everyone, with no personal knowledge of the reference, hears "Whoopin'" and thinks, "Oh God, we must not throw a serious thing like domestic abuse back in the victim's face. Worry-worry-wring hands-worry."


HA!, laughable.
It IS to laugh.

And if Wilhelm and I agree, you know its true

 

[Carcharodon]

Great example of the PC, namby pamby, hyper-sensitive bull**** culture here.
Slim himself says "I'll tell ya what straightened ME out! Gettin' a wh00pin' . That's how I'll raise mah kids toO!"

And then it's mentioned and everyone, with no personal knowledge of the reference, hears "Whoopin'" and thinks, "Oh God, we must not throw a serious thing like domestic abuse back in the victim's face. Worry-worry-wring hands-worry."


HA!, laughable.
It IS to laugh.

It's not necessary. At all. If you want to lower yourself, go ahead. I won't. All I said was that I thought it wasn't cool.

I never told anybody to take that **** down. I never told anybody they were horrible for doing it. Just threw in my two cents on it. If you don't like it, suck my child-abusing schlong, Wil.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

suck my child-abusing schlong

that's not the kind of thing one readily admits to.

 

[Carcharodon]

that's not the kind of thing one readily admits to.

*WHOOSH*

 

[Mr Sparkle]

also, one would seldom readily admit to that.
so rock on wallunderscorecrawlerunderscorethousandandthree! rock on!
though I liked your squirrel avatar much better.

 

[Carcharodon]

also, one would seldom readily admit to that.
so rock on wallunderscorecrawlerunderscorethousandandthree! rock on!
though I liked your squirrel avatar much better.

That squirrel was a ****e.