24- 7A- Your star is climbing. You'll be a celebrity.- The Darwin awards are a kind of fame.
23- 6E- Cancel the trip you planned this week.- Take the trip-dysentery. Stay home-salmonella. Either way, you lose weight.- Bottom mid-right cut out on trim.
22- 9H- A small kindness will lead to unexpected benefits.- After several thousand dollars, things will be mostlyl okay. Just give up and throw out your mattress.
21- 5H- An acquaintance will approach you with a business offer.- Anyone stupid enough to use a fortune-telling machine will think it's a great offer. You probably date a pagan.- Bottom mid-left cut out on trim.
20- 9A- A new person will enter your life.- Your cellmate. The voices will tell him you're a demon.
19- 4N- Beware of unexpected windfalls.- Vegans are especially flatulent.
18- 5K- You will unexpectedly need help today, and the response of friends will surprise you.- They'll take video. Send it to your boss. Your wife. It will go viral.
17- 8N- You will make money, if not for you, then for an organization.- Like the IRS.
16- 3D- Don't assume you know what is going on at work.- But yes, there are photos. And yes, they will stand up in court.
15- 6M- You will have an opportunity for a good investment.- House of Pies stock is shooting up.- Bottom mid cut out on trim, right over words "the future."
14- 1H- You will have a breakthrough in your career.- Your boss will take credit.
13- 9L- Children will influence a major decision.- Who knows. You might have married her anyways.
12- 6C- Beware of false information regarding a loved one. But that thing about the affair? That's true. Sorry.
11- 2F- Someone you currently doubt is telling the truth- Saying you are the prophet of a new religion won't help. The voices were wrong. They weren't free samples.- Bottom right cut out on trim.
10- 2K- You can expect an inheritance- One of those genetic things that predict a short and miserable life. It will also explain why your ears look like that.
9- 8D- You will soon receive a gift- If your lawyer calls and says don't answer the door, there's a good reason.
8- 3L- Expect a promotion.- Expect it to be humiliating.- middle left cut out inside trim.
7- 4F- Money is heading your way.- But you're a moving target. Too bad.
6- 3I- Now would be a good time to leave your job.- Twenty years flipping burgers is long enough.
5- 3P- You will come into great wealth.- After an industrial accident. You'll be blind. Deaf. Completely paralyzed. But rich.- Bottom/mid left cut out on trim.
4- 1M- You will meet someone tall, dark and handsome who you will share your life with.- They'll route your bank funds into an untraceable Carribean account.
3- 8G- You will live in interesting times.- Interesting to historians. Like the Black Plague.- Bottom mid-left cut out inside trim.
2- 8J- You will come to the attention of people in high places. Like crazed hilltop snipers.
1- B4- You will get your heart's desire.- Too bad you're an addict.
It's backwards, but it goes top left (1) to top right (12), then bottom left (13) to bottom right (24).
also, number 1 is the only one with the letter before the number, i think.