The full list (excuse the typos)
Red 1 top: You will get your hearts desire (Too bad you're an addict)
Red 1 bottom: Children will influence a major decisions (Who knows. You might have married her anyway)
Black 1 Top: You will come to the attention of people in high places. (Like crazed hilltop snipers)
Black 1 bottom: You will have a breakthrough in your career (your boss will take credit)
Red 2 top: You will live in interesting times (interesting to historians. like the black plague)
Red 2 bottom: You will have an opportunity for a good investment (house of pies stock is shooting up)
Black 2 top: You will meet someone tall, dark and handsome who will share your life with (they'll route your bank funds into an untraceable caribbean account)
Black 2 bottom: Don't assume you know what is going on at work (But yes, there are photos. And yes, they will stand up in court.)
Red 3 top: You will come into great wealth (after an industrial accident. You'll be blnd. Deaf. Completely paralyzed. But rich)
Red 3 bottom: You will make money, if not for you, then for an organization. (Like the IRS)
Black 3 top: Now would be a good time to leave your job (Twenty years flipping burgers is long enough.)
Black 3 bottom: You will unexpectedly need help today, and the response of your friends will surprise you. (They'll take video. Send it to your boss. Your wife. It will go viral)
Red 4 top: Money is heading your way. (But you're a moving taget. Too bad)
Red 4 bottom: Beware of unexpected windfalls. (Vegans are especially flatulent.)
Black 4 top: Expect a promotion (expect it to be humiliating)
Black 4 bottom: A new person will enter your life (Your cellmate. The voices will tell him you're a demon)
Red 5 top: You will soon receive a gift (if your lawyer calls and says don't answer the door, there's a reason.)
Red 5 bottom: An acquaintance will approach you with a business offer (anyone stupid enough to use a fortune-telling machine will think it's a great offer. You probably date a pagan)
Black 5 top: You can expect an inheritance (one of those genetic things that predict a short and miserable life. It will also explain why your ears look like that.)
Black 5 bottom: A small kindness will lead to unexpected benefits (after several thousand dollars, things will be mostly okay. Just give up and throw out your mattress.)
Red 6 top: Someone you currently doubt is telling the truth (Saying you are the prophet of a new religion won't help. THe voices were wrong. They weren't free samples
Red 6 bottom: Cancel the trip you planned this week (take the trip-dysentery. Stay home-salmonella. Either way, you lose weight)
Black 6 top: Beware of false information regarding a loved one. (But that thing about the affair? That's true. Sorry)
Black 6 bottom: Your star is climbing. You'll be a celebrity. (The darwin awards are a kind of fame).
