I kind of understand your point--although for me it is not quite perfect since IM2 shows Tony is not a team player who distrusts the government while he is the complete opposite in CW--but I think you are mostly proving to me why CW is again so good. It took what came before and made it more special.
But that does not help or excuse Iron Man 2. A movie should be able to stand on its own and shouldn't have to rely on a sequel--much less what is kind of the fourth sequel a whopping 6 years later--to justify its existence or storytelling prowess. Iron Man 2 is just a mess, almost as much as Spider-Man 3 is for me, because it was too busy setting up Avengers to bother telling its own story.
With that said, Downey and Paltrow are great in it.
Very true.
Regarding the point about Tony distrusting the gov't, I actually went into CW with that mindset too. It even convinced me otherwise with that one too. Just proves how amazingly poignant a film it is.
I saw Cap go from trusting the gov't in TFA and The Avengers (
to Stark "yet you're confused about why they didn't want you around.") and working for the gov't in TWS finally deciding it wasn't who he was anymore.
I saw Stark go from not caring to not trusting the gov't in IM, IM2 and The Avengers, to finally seeing the gravity of his world with the death of Coulson/Chitauri portal/Maximoff vision/Hulkbuster battle/Sokovia/etc.
So like, they moved right past each other on the spectrum. Cap grew to distrust the powers that be, while Tony grew to feel it was the only way to have true accountability. They both grew tremendously since their respective origins. But yet retain the same base foundation. Cap is unwilling to yield to the things he knows are wrong, once he knows the truth. And Stark is unable bear the burden of responsibility on his own when it gets to be too much. (This even helps IM2 in my opinion too, considering a lot of people complain that Stark's relapse is one of the major problems with the film. When in actuality, it's just part of his character in this universe.)
All that combined with the fact that Bucky, Steve and Howard were basically war buddies, makes the moment, the film, and basically the entire franchise for me. Feels like they'd been planning it all since the beginning (though i know they probably weren't lol).