Worst moments in movies

Discussion in 'Misc. Films' started by Zev, Apr 29, 2004.

  1. Zev

    Zev Registered

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    I was just thinking... what moments made you cringe, wince, sigh, and vomit in disgust? In the format of an uber-inventive top ten list...

    10. Green Goblin Attacks Macy Gray, Spider-Man

    Okay, Macy Gray had a cameo, nothing too painful... Then Green Goblin shows up. In an all-too-static faceplate which seems designed for ease of conversion to Halloween costumes and a green armor suit, it's amazing that people didn't laugh out loud at the 'menace', especially when he proves his villain-osity to the world by (gasp! horror!) slashing a passing balloon float. Luckily, veteran heavy Willem Dafoe is behind the mask to keep the performance afloat and the movie is fast-paced enough for us to disregard the costume for the most part. Still, who here can truly say we didn't turn our heads slightly when that... THING graced the silver screen?

    9. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, Batman

    Picture the scene. Joker is throwing a combination parade/mass execution. Batman is speeding towards him in the Batwing. A ruckus is going to start. What better song to hype us up for this grand confrontation then... Prince? Yes, that's right, Joker throws money around, breakdances under giant balloon floats filled with poison gas, and generally makes an ass of himself. It's a relief when Batman finally shows up and strafes the Clown Prince of Crime, even if he does miss like a Stormtrooper.

    8. "...The same thing that happens to everything else," X-Men

    In an otherwise stellar movie which has recently been unfairly overshadowed by its sequel, one line makes the entire case against it. Future Catwoman (In Name Only) Halle Berry, wearing a bad wig and digitally-inserted white eyes (you can see her pupils behind them and everything), blows Toad away. As he hangs on by his unnaturally-long tongue, Storm pauses to utter a quip before destroying him with lightning. Unfortunately, it turns out to be this clunker. "Do you know what happens to a toad when it's hit by lightning?" etc. Wolverine can be forgiven for stabbing her through the chest in the next scene.

    7. Superman Goes Back To The Future, Superman

    Having written themselves into a corner with Lois Lane's death, Superman decides to go back in time to save her. A ludricious decision, of course, because why not go back in time every time you fail? But, this is Lois. So, he's going back in time. Not by attaining lightspeed by circling around the sun, that's been done. Not by using one of his Deus Ex Machina Krypton Krystals, like in Superman 2 (and 4, but that's another story). No, he flies around the Earth's equator until the Earth orbits backwards, which somehow CAUSES TIME TO REVERSE! I'm in wonder how this plot twist wasn't laughed out of theaters. Of course, the sequel featured the God-like Clark Kent laying down the law to a bully, so... whatever.

    6. Sewer Meditation, Punisher '89

    As skull-less (literally, the famous insignia is nowhere to be found. Maybe it's in the parking lot.) Dolph Lundgren shares his marble-mouthed mumblings on God and the nature of vengeance, the camera tracks through his sewer lair (rented from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, perhaps?) and... OH GOD, MY EYES! We get a nice, long shot of his grimy, bare ass. Why, Marvel, WHY?

    5. Various/Hulk

    In this case, it's not the big things you find a problem with, it's numerous little things. Like how Bruce Banner stares longingly at a picture of him and his ex, which then starts moving, transitioning us into a conversation about a dream Betty Ross had, a dream we see. A dream sequence within a flashback. Then Talbot dies when he fires an RPG into the Hulk. Said grenade then bounces off the Jade Goliath and blows up Talbot, who expires in the literal cinematic equivilent of a splash page. Or when Nick Nolte, in a fit of literal scenery chewing, becomes the Absorbing Dad of electricity and zaps Hulk around, before getting turned into a giant jellyfish brain and nuked. That was the most unkindest cut of all.

    4. Vault Death-Trap, Batman Forever

    Picture it. Tommy Lee Jones, acting like a total goon, has imprisoned Val Kilmer's Batman, along with a 'comically' panicking bank guard, in a bank vault hanging from his helicopter. As Two-Face rants "For your dying pleasure, the vault is being filled with the same acid that made us the way we are today!", Batman MacGuyvers the bank guard's hearing aid into a safe-cracking tool and uses his Bat-grapple to deposit (no pun intended) the vault back into the hole in the wall. Then CGI Batman hangs onto to the helicopter for a while before it crashes into the Statue of Liberty. The next scene, in which a fully-costumed Batman, sitting IN BROAD DAYLIGHT in a courtroom, fails to save now-white attorney Harvey Dent from a mobster on trial, who somehow has acid, fails to even contend with the idiocy of this Bond-wannabe 'action' sequence.

    Did I mention Two-Face's henchman have machine guns outlined with bright neon?

    3. Oh, Batman, You're So Funny, Batman & Robin

    Having disposed of cheesy villainess Poison Ivy, as played by only-bright-spot-in-the-film Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone turns to Batman and is greeted "Batgirl? That's not very PC. How about Batwoman or Batperson?" WTF? This is the Dark Knight of Gotham? My bunny slippers wouldn't be scared of anyone who makes a quip like that. For anyone who still had hope after watching a tight close-up of the Bat-Butt, which acted as a certain "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here", and endured Arnold's Kindergarden Cop readings of Mr. Freeze's various out-of-character, low-temperature-themed zingers, this should clue them in that the elevator is on the sixth level of hell and going down fast.

    2. Elektra Trains, Daredevil

    After given the dubious pleasure of Daredevil murkily fighting his way through a bar full of strobe lights and thugs, then killing a rapist to whom he lost in court (our favorite attorney was prosecuting for some reason), and finally leaving his logo in lighter fluid for a slumming Joey Pants to find, we get the end result of master thespians Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner doing their impression of a bad romcom for most of the movie. Elektra is on a warpath and no one's going to stop her! So, what's the first thing she does? Why, dress up in the standard anti-hero black leather (complete with not-protective-offered-what-so-ever cut-off top), turn on some nu-metal, and jump around slashing sandbags with ninja sais. And just when we think it can't get any worse, a sandbag custom-fitted with a caricature of Daredevil drawn in red crayon lowers. Elektra proves how much of a badass she is by throwing a sai through it. Unfortunately, people, unlike sandbags, can dodge, intercept, and otherwise render mute thrown projectiles and then use them against their owner, as Elektra learns when a wildly-mugging Colin Farrell impales her a few minutes later. Daredevil's unbelievable ability to defeat both Bullseye and Kingpin after being critically wounded can't hold a candle to the slap in the face of the comics that is Movie!Elektra.

    1. Nuclear Man, Superman 4: The Quest For Peace

    You can find a lot wrong with the fourth and final Superman movie. It's hamfisted anti-nuke message, the replacement of the bumbling but lovable Otis with Jon Cryer as a 'hip' young rocker, the lousy special effects... but none moreso then Nuclear Man, as essayed by Mark Pillow (!). From his 'birth', when a giant net full of nuclear warheads is thrown into the sun by Supes and he grows from fetus to fully clothed man (!!) by virtue of bad animation, to his voice, an electronically roughened version of Gene Hackman's (even though he's supposed to be a clone of Clark Kent), nothing about Superman's mirror image proved him fit to "Kneel before Zod!" or even ski with Richard Pryor. But perhaps the fatal flaw in the character was his fatal flaw... The villain, put in the film to show us the dangers of nuclear science, is SOLAR POWERED! What's more, if not in direct sunlight, he collapses, comatose!!!

    Sometimes I don't know what keeps Gene Hackman coming back.

    Honorable Mentions: Parking Lot Explosion, The Punisher. Rocketeer Penguins, Batman Returns. Richard Pryor, Superman 3.
     
  2. tamron

    tamron Registered

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    No Howard the Duck? No Fantastic Four?
    No Captain America? No Steel? Your list is sorely lacking. And for the record, in Lundgren's Punisher the skull was on the handle of his knives. Frank left them as calling cards.
     
  3. Dr. Manhatten

    Dr. Manhatten Registered

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    There were worse scenes in Daredevil IMO, although that stupid Evanescense song that plays during her training doesn't help the scene's cause
     
  4. pixen

    pixen Registered

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    that is the best scene in the movie.... they had to slab resused DD bits
     
  5. Joker

    Joker Registered

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    I liked when Green Goblin attacked Macy Gray...I just wish he would have gotten the job done :mad:
     
  6. DarkKnight88

    DarkKnight88 Registered

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    The worst moment in comic book movie is actually WATCHING "Batman & Robin"!
     
  7. Zev

    Zev Registered

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    I haven't seen Howard the Duck, Fantastic Four (although I have it burned on a CD-R somewhere), or Captain America.

    3. How come when we do it, it's obscure, but when they do it, it's funny?, Steel

    I don't remember much of Steel. I think Shaq was a baseketball player turned actor who played a weapons designer turned superhero. And I remember at the end he had to make a free-throw or something. Which is funny, because in real life (giggle), SHAQ ISN'T VERY GOOD AT MAKING FREE THROWS! Or maybe it was the other way around. I don't know.

    Stupid movie.

    2. The Wilheim Scream, Howard the Duck

    I've only seen this online, but apparently there's a scene where Howard dive-bombs a group of duck hunters in an airplane. One of the unlucky humans does the distinctive Wilheim scream (the high-pitched girly-girl shriek that Stormtrooper made when he fell off the ledge on the Death Star, remember?). That this classic sound effect is sullied by being in such a film as Howard the Duck is near sacrilege.

    1. I've got to hand it to you, Captain America

    Captain America is tied to a rocket that's about to nuke Washington. As the Red Skull gloats, the Sentinel of Liberty says "Come over here, I want to tell you something." Now, anyone who isn't an only child can tell you the appropriate response is "I can hear you fine from over here," but the master villain walks over to Cappy and gets his hand grabbed. So, what does the nemesis of freedom do? Instead of hacking his enemy's arm off, HE CHOPS HIS OWN OFF! BRILLIANT! I wouldn't trust this guy to be a grip on Triumph Of The Wills if I was Adolf.
     
  8. Frank Manhattan

    Frank Manhattan Registered

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    Punisher 2004 phony fire hydrant
     
  9. WarBlade

    WarBlade Registered

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    1.) Barbarella in the Orgasmatron (Barbarella). Damn Ogasmatron was opaque. :(

    2.) Wolverine returns to the mansion (X-Men 2). Then we are subjected to a lengthy scene of character reintroductions that looks like a soap opera.

    3.) Last two Batman films. So much crap, it would take too long to go over it.

    4.) Captain America. Read above.

    5.) Xavier and Woverine (X-Men).
    "What's a Magneto?"
    "A very powerful mutant."
    OMG, people moan about the lightning toad thing and personally I find that to be considerably more acceptable than the line I just quoted. :eek:
     
  10. Frank Manhattan

    Frank Manhattan Registered

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    the line is

    "A very powerful mutant..."
     
  11. The PhantaZm

    The PhantaZm Registered

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    Yeah, theres nothing bad about that line.

    If this thread is about worst lines in a comic book movie then I might as well just copy and paste the entire spiderman script.

    Worst moments would be:

    Nick Noltes ******ed rant in the Hulk. This moment was uncomfortable and extremely awkward. I still have no idea what he was ranting about and why nor do I care. (incase some hulk movie fan was about to explain it to me.

    The second worst would be the hulk, absorbing man fight.

    The third worst would be the death of Frank Castles family.

    The fourth is the death of Howard Saint followed by the ultra-cheesy skull signal.
     
  12. Hulkzilla

    Hulkzilla I'm the Wind,baby!

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    The ENTIRE Howard the Duck movie
     
  13. Nightwing: Endgame

    Nightwing: Endgame Registered

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    that makes 2 of us
     
  14. eris

    eris discordia

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    killer poodle- hulk
     
  15. Nightwing: Endgame

    Nightwing: Endgame Registered

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    yea the killer poodle was retarted..
     
  16. spider-jide

    spider-jide Registered

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    batman and robin made the adam west show look like a masterpiece.
     
  17. spide-ed

    spide-ed Registered

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    the see-saw fight in daredevil. worst fight scene ive ever seen.
     
  18. Revelation

    Revelation Registered

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    I second the seesaw scene.
     
  19. Zev

    Zev Registered

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    The See-Saw Scene, Daredevil

    Did you act like you did when you were a horny, hormonally-motivated teenager? No. Well, then you must not be Ben Affleck's Matt Murdock. Elektra's introduction in the comics, in which an immature Matt shows off to her for a look at breasts (that's conjunture), is stuffed through the Plot-O-Matic, giving us a...

    1. Meet Cute
    A. With Funny Sidekick
    Drinking Something That Would Not Normally Be Drunk

    2. Witty Banter
    A. Involving misunderstanding over blindness.
    B. Cliched Line 998. "I didn't get your name." "I didn't give it."

    3. Fight Scene

    Serious Drag-Down Final Battle? No.

    Wise-Cracking "Look What A Badass I Am" Disposal Of Henchmen? No.

    Playful, Flirty Fight With No Boo-Boos? Yes.

    Should make people think of how much better off they would be watching a movie with...

    Jet Li? No.

    Bruce Lee? No.

    Jackie Chan? Yes


    I'm surprised he doesn't just get into his car and drive her to see a movie. It would be about as inconspicous.


    The A-S-S, Batman & Robin

    At last, a new Batman movie is upon us. Sure, Batman Forever was a heaping pile of ^_^^_^^_^^_^, but now Akiva Goldsman, master writer behind Lost In Space, and Joel Schumacher, the Gay Filmmaker Yang to Bryan Sinker's Ying (QUOTE: "I know dragging homosexuals into the street and beating them is WRONG, but if we did it, Batman & Robin wouldn't have been made." -David Duke) have hit their stride. And George Clooney, he's a good actor! I mean, SURE Alicia Silverstone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are expected to turn in dramatic performances, but...

    Oh wait, did we just get a close-up of Batman's ass? Jesus Christ, let's go get a refund before it's too late.

    Nothing, Hellboy

    No, really, there isn't a single bad moment in Hellboy. It's perfect. Did you see the part where Kronen did the thing? Awesome.
     
  20. WarBlade

    WarBlade Registered

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    D'oh! "powerful" :p

    Ok, but the use of the word "very" is what kills the scene for me. It reminds me of the scene in FOTR where Ian Holm is talking to the kids about the trolls and the kids all rear back in horror. Xavier's line could easily have been, "Well children, Magneto is a very powerful mutant," (whereupon you watch the group all shrink away in fear) and it would have increased the absurdity of the statement by not a whole lot.

    IMO.

    I just hate that line. It could have been so much better.

    *dreams*
    "A mutant like you and I."

    *sigh* :(
     
  21. spide-ed

    spide-ed Registered

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    Oh golly gosh, just imagine an entire 2 hours of fights like/worse than that coming up in Elektra.
    Someone please pass me the Sleeping pills and the Whiskey.
     
  22. Quentin Black

    Quentin Black Registered

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    Yes, because we all know that is the formulaic way people normaly meet in films. A line so cliche that I have never heard it used in a movie or book before? :rolleyes:

    Almost as inconspicous as Matt telling her about his powers like he does in the comics. Your ignorance is showing again.
     
  23. spide-ed

    spide-ed Registered

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    I really love it when you flout your supposed intellectual superiority round here Quentin, it turns me on. ;)
     
  24. Quentin Black

    Quentin Black Registered

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    Well, if someone says that something is unfaithful because this character was being inconspicous when his original comic counterpart was even more inconspicous, it says something about the speaker.
     
  25. Revelation

    Revelation Registered

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    Better yet, just hit me over the head with the whiskey bottle. Or the director. Yes, hit the director.

    I'm sure I'm the only one, but I had issue with the fireside love scene. To me, it was out of place and just cheesy, unneccessary, and rather stupid. Just another one of the potholes in this movie that didn't make it flow right for me.
     

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