What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
My math may be poor, but I'd say you're down to 1/4 life...
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
I don't think I would shoot a mime. I think I'd shut him in an invisible box and leave him to starve to death.
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?
Misspelled - past tense verb - to have spelled a word or words incorrectly
Is there another word for synonym?
Equivalent..? That would be about as close as I could think.
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
That would depend on whether the bakers used vegetable shortening or not... Personally, I prefer to hunt and take down my own crackers.
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Yes, someone does. And that man has the most pointless job in America.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
That and floppy shoes are not easy to digest.
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Yes. And of course by saying that, I am also wrong...
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Yes. The FBI uses these situations to pad their stats...
How young can you die of old age?
Once you complain about kids playing on your lawn you become eligible.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
No. Due to a bad experience in the past with Heat I'd probably put up a cold front...
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?
As many as it takes to find the new bulb in the dark.
Is it still real to you?
No.
Post 5 songs/singles you want us to listen.
I don't care what you listen to
It doesn't affect me in any way
Just so long as you like it
And don't expect me to listen to it if I don't
That's how I roll
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
He'd be wrinkly...
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
For the Volvo drivers...
What do batteries run on?
The conversion of chemical energy to an electrical charge. I don't have a bit for this so I'll settle for good old fashioned fart jokes. *Flautlence*
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
That or they just put it on his tab-bouleh... Hi-yo!
Do you have any infractions? If so, do you care to tell us how you got them?
Yes I do.
One for Flaming, two for inappropriate language.
What is your least favorite word?
This needs further thought...
What turns you on?
Birth.
What turns you off?
Braindeath and lack of a pulse.
What sound do you love?
The gentle tapping of keys
What sound do you hate?
The sound of Harls telling me she hates my voice...
What is your favorite curse word?
What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Stand-up
What profession would you not like to do?
Sit down
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Congrats, home-slice you made it. Now, as your reward, you get to boot 3 of the biggest pains in the ass out of here just to make this place truly "heaven".
Are there any questions?
Not at this point in time.