Best Excuses. EVER.
- Thread starter Space Moose
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BAH HUMBBUG!
There's an invisible man
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I was busy getting laid.
amazingfantasy15
Avenger
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"Yes, yes, I f**ked her, I make love to you and if you're gonna let a f**k get in the way of our love, there's something really wrong here.
N
Noir
Guest
ALREADY POSTED THAT.
N
Noir
Guest
"I'm sorry I'm late, I got a little carried away with Stalking your wife."
Space Moose
Not Wearing Converse
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I was up all night shagging!
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Teacher: Did you do your homework?
Me: No, the TV wouldn't allow it.
Me: No, the TV wouldn't allow it.
Majik1387
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N
Noir
Guest
Teacher: Your report is word for word a copy of wikipedia.
Me: How do you know I didn't write the article on Wikipedia
Teacher: Now your just stealing jokes from Foxtrot.
Me:
Me: How do you know I didn't write the article on Wikipedia
Teacher: Now your just stealing jokes from Foxtrot.
Me:
Ice-man
Sidekick
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ALREADY POSTED THAT.
haha sorry, i just love that one line from Deuce Bigalow European gigolo.
hammy
American Ham
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Excuses for missing work. 
* If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
* When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
* I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e * log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
* I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
* I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...
* I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
* Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
* Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
* I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
* The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
* The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
* I prefer to remain an enigma.
* My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
* I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
* I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
* I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
* I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.
* If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
* When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
* I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e * log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
* I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
* I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...
* I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
* Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
* Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
* I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
* The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.
* The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
* I prefer to remain an enigma.
* My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
* I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
* I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
* I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
* I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.
bullets
bang bang
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Manic
User title? USER TITLE?!
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I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
OctaviusINC
Trust Me.
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I was trying to think of a good excuse, and I couldn't think of one. Am I fired?
N
Noir
Guest
"I was only tapping the Nation Anthem, I swear!"I pleaded guilty to make it go away.
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