Best Friend of the Opposite Sex: Can It Be 100% Platonic?

[TheFuture]

how about if your best friend was the opposite sex would you want them? *mischievous chuckle*

Mean like the same sex?

 

[AndThePickles]

I think jealousy rears it's ugly head when one has both a best friend and a bf/gf. Call it human nature but most people aren't comfortable with their bf/gf being too close to a member of the opposite.

I read an interesting little article on that a while ago. It's definitely a delicate situation, and requires full honesty and trust between all parties involved.

 

[Erzengel]

I read an interesting little article on that a while ago. It's definitely a delicate situation, and requires full honesty and trust between all parties involved.

I'm friends with an ex. We saw each other like 3 years ago, went into the City, had dinner. As long as I'm up front about it, everything is cool. However, if it was a monthly or weekly occurence, even if we were never intimate, I still think there'd be an issue.

 

[Danalys]

Mean like the same sex?

well pardon my lack of specificity to nullify pedantry.

 

[Warhammer]

Aren't you already emotionally attached, if you consider them your best friend?

I meant intimate, sexual, romantic, etc.

The thread question is kind of vague. Do you mean platonic as in "with no sexual attraction" or do you mean platonic as in "with no romantic interest?" I mean, both are possible, and you can have one and not the other in either combination. You can also have one and not the other in either combination and not have it be detrimental to the friendship. But I'm just kind of curious about what you mean exactly.

"No romantic interest"

 

[B]

I'd be inclined to think no.. at least not 100% anyway.

Even if the 2 people in question are not physically attracted to each other, if they can each talk freely & enjoy each others company, then that alone is all the attraction they need..

 

[E-Man]

I've seen it happen a few times, so I voted yes. It is a rare occurrence due to how people can let outside influences affect relationships. There is also the maturity factor. People get lonely sometimes, and sometimes when life kicks you in the balls you lean on whatever you think is safe. One person goes through a few failed relationships, and they think that their best friend is who they are supposed to be with since they get along so well. People gotta know what they want instead of letting their emotions get the best of them. Unfortunately part of life is figuring out what you want, so 100% platonic relationships are rare.

 

[Majic Walrus]

It's not impossible, but I think that it might be rare especially among "best friends". However a lot of it depends on when the friendship was forged to begin with and furthermore the friend in question...

Overall, yeah it's possible.

 

[-Arya-]

Is it possible? Yes it is.

Is it manageable? Sure can be.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Yup, and it's easy

 

[The Question]

If the friendship involves two attractive individuals - then no, it's not possible. At all. It will eventually devolve into ridiculous drama.

I disagree. I've seen it not happen, I've seen it happen and not devolve into ridiculous drama, and I've seen it happen, devolve into ridiculous drama for a little while, and then get better. It all depends on how mature and able to deal with change both parties are.

I meant intimate, sexual, romantic, etc.

Well, the fact of the matter is, there is a certain amount of intimacy in strong friendships... the reason you do sometimes get troubles is that the lines between different roles and dynamics in relationships to get a little blurry sometimes.

"No romantic interest"

Yeah, it can happen. I've seen it happen. More importantly, it can not happen and things will still turn out just fine.

 

[StorminNorman]

So you are telling me that two attractive people can't not be attracted to one another? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Two people can be friends, attractive or not, and not fall into the trappings of a romance. It's as simple as that. Close thread.

You are looking at an emotional issue rationally. That's your problem.

Also - the question is NOT if Two people can be friends and not fall have a romance. That obviously can happen. Romantic tension will happen though. It's unavoidable. Assuming any attraction is there.

 

[Alex The Great]

It's only hard to have a Best Friend of the opposite sex if you make it hard. Really though, some people are too afraid to go for it because they fear their friendship could be badly affected,

I didn't vote because throughout high school and college one of my best friends was female and though we didn't date or have any sort of relationship beyond friendship we did sleep together all the time. But it was more just how we hung out.

 

[AndThePickles]

Yup, and it's easy

To say "it's easy" is too much of a generalization. In many cases, even if it's easy for one person, the other person may secretly have feelings. So in that case, it is NOT 100% platonic.

So, I think it is possible, but it isn't always easy. Particularly not a BEST friends scenario...casual friends are different.

 

[redmarvel]

I think it's possible for sure. Not for everyone but definitely possible. Why not? Not every man is attracted to every female...

An example is family friends who have grown up together. They see each other more as brothers/sisters than someone they're attracted to. You hear it all the time, "Eew, nah I don't see them that way, we're practically family!".

It's so possible.

Agreed. If you are such close friends that you think of each other as familty it's possible.

It's also possible to be really close friends with Family members of the opposite gender.

It is also possible to be a straight chick with a gay male friend or a straight guy with a lesbian friend.

It is also possible that some people can never be "just friends" with members of the opposite sex to whom they are not related.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

To say "it's easy" is too much of a generalization. In many cases, even if it's easy for one person, the other person may secretly have feelings. So in that case, it is NOT 100% platonic.

So, I think it is possible, but it isn't always easy. Particularly not a BEST friends scenario...casual friends are different.

Correction I guess, "It can be easy"

I think jealousy rears it's ugly head when one has both a best friend and a bf/gf. Call it human nature but most people aren't comfortable with their bf/gf being too close to a member of the opposite.

Understandable, but what's the point of worrying yourself silly? As if it's not just as easy to cheat on your SO with a stranger you just met. My view on infidelity; "If you got it on with somebody else, cool. Just tell me so we can move on and give me back my DVDs " My days of tossing and turning b/c my g/f could be cheating are so done. F that noise.

 

[ross2287]

Yes it can, especially if one is an uggo or a fatty.

 

[Majic Walrus]

That's how me and bamf do it.

 

[E-Man]

Yes it can, especially if one is an uggo or a fatty.

If this person is your best friend, it could be tempting to forget about them not being attractive. Personally for me, I tend to not think too much about looks the longer I know a person. It's easy to become attracted to "ugly" people when you find that you enjoy talking to them.

 

[Paradoxium]

Sure.

If both friends are gay. t:

 

[Paradoxium]

Yup, and it's easy

To say "it's easy" is too much of a generalization. In many cases, even if it's easy for one person, the other person may secretly have feelings. So in that case, it is NOT 100% platonic.

So, I think it is possible, but it isn't always easy. Particularly not a BEST friends scenario...casual friends are different.

Witness this ya n00bs, C-Spoons haz it down to an art form. ATP is a platonic friend. He is banging 2 other girls on the side.

C-Spoons is my hero

 

[The Original Bamfer]

That's how me and bamf do it.

Yeah, you're an uggo and a fatty!

You're lucky I'm not shallow.

 

[Lantern Venom]

I think jealousy rears it's ugly head when one has both a best friend and a bf/gf. Call it human nature but most people aren't comfortable with their bf/gf being too close to a member of the opposite.

This is true. When one member of the pair starts dating, the other member often has to back off a so the new person doesn't feel threatened. One of my best friends is female and she has had a difficult time convincing her dates that she and I have never been intimate physically or emotionally.

 

[AndThePickles]

Witness this ya n00bs, C-Spoons haz it down to an art form. ATP is a platonic friend. He is banging 2 other girls on the side.

C-Spoons is my hero

 

[AndThePickles]

Understandable, but what's the point of worrying yourself silly? As if it's not just as easy to cheat on your SO with a stranger you just met. My view on infidelity; "If you got it on with somebody else, cool. Just tell me so we can move on and give me back my DVDs " My days of tossing and turning b/c my g/f could be cheating are so done. F that noise.

A lot of people see it as a set-up for physical or emotional cheating, though. Like sure, random cheating could happen, but a best friend who calls all the time and your sig other is constantly seeing...some people see that as having another significant other only without the physical intimacy...yet.

I think it's sort of a mind game for some people, too. They want to avoid any situation that may lead to cheating. Impossible, if you truly think about it, though.

I think that if everyone developed a mindset similar to yours that they'd sleep better at night, but I also think it'd be naive to assume that most people would find it so easy