My friend met a girl online and married her

[zanos]

A friend of mine chatted up some chick online for a few months and calling her up, etc. She lives on the other side of the state but she has visited twice to meet him in person. As far as I can tell those are the only two times they've met which seems logical considering the distance of the relationship. So what does my buddy do? He goes and marries this chick not too long afterwards. I find it very very odd that he would go and do this even though he's really only had an online relationship with this person. For the record she's kind of hideous looking so it's not a case of my friend hooking up with some Petra Nemcova lookalike. I just don't get it. I doubt he even had sex with this girl during those visits. Actually I doubt anyone has had sex with her. I can maybe see why she might be motivated but my friend actually got some attractive girls in HS. That's more than I can say about all my friends combined back then. Though I don't know what my friend's success rate was in college it couldn't have been so bad to lead to this. This just reeks of complete and utter desperation.

 

[StrainedEyes]

Pictures!

 

[Mee]

A friend of mine chatted up some chick online for a few months and calling her up, etc. She lives on the other side of the state but she has visited twice to meet him in person. As far as I can tell those are the only two times they've met which seems logical considering the distance of the relationship. So what does my buddy do? He goes and marries this chick not too long afterwards. I find it very very odd that he would go and do this even though he's really only had an online relationship with this person. For the record she's kind of hideous looking so it's not a case of my friend hooking up with some Petra Nemcova lookalike. I just don't get it. I doubt he even had sex with this girl during those visits. Actually I doubt anyone has had sex with her. I can maybe see why she might be motivated but my friend actually got some attractive girls in HS. That's more than I can say about all my friends combined back then. Though I don't know what my friend's success rate was in college it couldn't have been so bad to lead to this. This just reeks of complete and utter desperation.

And then...?

 

[SuperFerret]

A friend of mine chatted up some chick online for a few months and calling her up, etc. She lives on the other side of the state but she has visited twice to meet him in person. As far as I can tell those are the only two times they've met which seems logical considering the distance of the relationship. So what does my buddy do? He goes and marries this chick not too long afterwards. I find it very very odd that he would go and do this even though he's really only had an online relationship with this person. For the record she's kind of hideous looking so it's not a case of my friend hooking up with some Petra Nemcova lookalike. I just don't get it. I doubt he even had sex with this girl during those visits. Actually I doubt anyone has had sex with her. I can maybe see why she might be motivated but my friend actually got some attractive girls in HS. That's more than I can say about all my friends combined back then. Though I don't know what my friend's success rate was in college it couldn't have been so bad to lead to this. This just reeks of complete and utter desperation.

Why judge him like that? Maybe the emotional connection your friend has with this girl is bigger than the distance or her supposed "hideousness". If your friend is happy, then be a friend and be happy for him. Your post just makes you look like an ass.

 

[Darthphere]

Your friend is a dumb *****. End of story.

Closing....

 

[Erzengel]

So I guess if you ask him, he can set you up with her sister, cousin or friend etc.

 

[Mee]

So I guess if you ask him, he can set you up with her sister, cousin or friend etc.

Yeah, mother...grandmother...dog...oh the possibilities!

 

[November Rain]

Ultimately as bad as it may seem from your POV you have to give your friend the benefit of the doubt to live his own life. It may be a brash decision but ultimately getting married is not as big a deal as it sounds. More than likely there will be a long engagement party.

what he might find out over this engagement period is that an online persona is very different to an everyday one or even a brief holiday visiting one.

If that doesn't get in the way of their feelings for one another then who are you to really get in the way of that?

you should let your friend get on with his own life and you should get on with yours

 

[LastSunrise1981]

While I would never get involved with someone I met over the internet, you just have to be happy for your friend and wish them the best. Only reason I wouldn't get involved with someone over the internet, is due to the possibility that the girl could be a psychopath.

 

[CristoTheSecond]

A friend of mine chatted up some chick online for a few months and calling her up, etc. She lives on the other side of the state but she has visited twice to meet him in person. As far as I can tell those are the only two times they've met which seems logical considering the distance of the relationship. So what does my buddy do? He goes and marries this chick not too long afterwards. I find it very very odd that he would go and do this even though he's really only had an online relationship with this person. For the record she's kind of hideous looking so it's not a case of my friend hooking up with some Petra Nemcova lookalike. I just don't get it. I doubt he even had sex with this girl during those visits. Actually I doubt anyone has had sex with her. I can maybe see why she might be motivated but my friend actually got some attractive girls in HS. That's more than I can say about all my friends combined back then. Though I don't know what my friend's success rate was in college it couldn't have been so bad to lead to this. This just reeks of complete and utter desperation.

"Friends Musn't Let Friends Marry Monsters."

 

[DBella]

A friend of mine chatted up some dude online for a few months and calling him up, etc. He lives on the other side of the state but she has visited twice to meet her in person. As far as I can tell those are the only two times they've met which seems logical considering the distance of the relationship. So what does my girl do? She goes and marries this dude not too long afterwards. I find it very very odd that she would go and do this even though she's really only had an online relationship with this person. For the record he's kind of hideous looking so it's not a case of my friend hooking up with some Hugh Jackman lookalike. I just don't get it. I doubt she even had sex with this guy during those visits. Actually I doubt anyone has had sex with him. I can maybe see why he might be motivated but my friend actually got some attractive guys in HS. That's more than I can say about all my friends combined back then. Though I don't know what my friend's success rate was in college it couldn't have been so bad to lead to this. This just reeks of complete and utter desperation.

I think zanos and this girl friend of the girl his friend married should hook up.

 

[CyberFaust]

i hate your friend.

 

[jaguarr]

Why judge him like that? Maybe the emotional connection your friend has with this girl is bigger than the distance or her supposed "hideousness". If your friend is happy, then be a friend and be happy for him. Your post just makes you look like an ass.

Yep. Got to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and back him as a friend. It's fine to be concerned about him and his decisions, but ultimately you've gotta have his back.

jag

 

[Mee]

i hate your friend.

He took your woman?

 

[CyberFaust]

nah, i hate almost anybody
if your happy, i hate you more
he's happy, i hate him
common logic

i'm depressed these days
*goes of to get drunk*

 

[zanos]

Ultimately as bad as it may seem from your POV you have to give your friend the benefit of the doubt to live his own life. It may be a brash decision but ultimately getting married is not as big a deal as it sounds. More than likely there will be a long engagement party.

what he might find out over this engagement period is that an online persona is very different to an everyday one or even a brief holiday visiting one.

If that doesn't get in the way of their feelings for one another then who are you to really get in the way of that?

you should let your friend get on with his own life and you should get on with yours

Marriage is probably the biggest decision you'll ever make in your life next to what kind of wheels to get for you car so I really don't see how it's "not a big deal." Also didn't I say he married her? They're not engaged. If they were engaged it probably happened during chat transcript 2201-E thru 2413-G.

 

[zanos]

Why judge him like that? Maybe the emotional connection your friend has with this girl is bigger than the distance or her supposed "hideousness". If your friend is happy, then be a friend and be happy for him. Your post just makes you look like an ass.

Stop it. I'm just voicing what EVERYONE around him is already thinking. I'd be an ass if I didn't let my opinion be known.

 

[SuperFerret]

Stop it. I'm just voicing what EVERYONE around him is already thinking. I'd be an ass if I didn't let my opinion be known.

If you're not happy for him, and the ONLY reason for that is that you find his wife to be uglier than the girls he went out with in high school and you see it as a step down for him despite the possibility that he may be happier with her than he was with any of the high school girls, then you are not being his friend. Simple as that.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

That just doesn't seem like a good decision. Not talking about the looks of the girl or anything, just the rushing into marrying the girl thing. I really can't understand people like that. I had a friend that proposed to a girl after dating for like two weeks or at max a month, you can't get to know someone that quickly, especially not to spend the rest of your life with them. This will probably end in divorce and Zanos' friend losing half his $#!t.

 

[DBella]

Stop it. I'm just voicing what EVERYONE around him is already thinking. I'd be an ass if I didn't let my opinion be known.

I think we can all understand your concern but what seems to be the main reason for your concern seems very shallow (ie. "she's kinda hideous", "I doubt they've even had sex"). As a friend, what you should do is wish him well and be there for him in case the marriage doesnt't work out, without having to tell him "I told you so!".

 

[jaguarr]

If you're not happy for him, and the ONLY reason for that is that you find his wife to be uglier than the girls he went out with in high school and you see it as a step down for him despite the possibility that he may be happier with her than he was with any of the high school girls, then you are not being his friend. Simple as that.

I would agree with this. It's a difficult thing to be a good and supportive friend when said friend is making decisions that you don't agree with. You have to be able to express your concerns in a tactful way, let him know that you're there for him and have his back no matter what, and then just let things be what they will be. If it works out for him, then more power to him. You will NOT want to be the guy who tried to come between him and his girl, regardless of whether it works out or not. If it does work out, you're still his friend and not on this girl's sh1t list which it sounds like everyone else in his circle of friends will be (and trust me, the girl will win out over his friends every time where marriage is concerned). If it doesn't work out, you can just be a quietly supportive friend to him and let him vent and start the healing and grieving process with your support. And even then, don't bash her or his decision. At that point he'll already know that he made the wrong choice and will probably resent having "I knew it" or "I told you so" thrown in his face. And, there's always the chance they'd reconcile and then you'd be on the outside over the whole thing. In short, be like Switzerland and you'll be fine. It's his life. Let him live it how he wants and just be there for him.

jag

 

[DorkyFresh]

A friend of mine chatted up some chick online for a few months and calling her up, etc. She lives on the other side of the state but she has visited twice to meet him in person. As far as I can tell those are the only two times they've met which seems logical considering the distance of the relationship. So what does my buddy do? He goes and marries this chick not too long afterwards. I find it very very odd that he would go and do this even though he's really only had an online relationship with this person. For the record she's kind of hideous looking so it's not a case of my friend hooking up with some Petra Nemcova lookalike. I just don't get it. I doubt he even had sex with this girl during those visits. Actually I doubt anyone has had sex with her. I can maybe see why she might be motivated but my friend actually got some attractive girls in HS. That's more than I can say about all my friends combined back then. Though I don't know what my friend's success rate was in college it couldn't have been so bad to lead to this. This just reeks of complete and utter desperation.

you met a girl and got married???!!! congrats!!!!! hehe




but no, in all seriousness....he really IS desperate if he's gonna marry a chick he barely knows over the net.

 

[zanos]

I think we can all understand your concern but what seems to be the main reason for your concern seems very shallow (ie. "she's kinda hideous", "I doubt they've even had sex"). As a friend, what you should do is wish him well and be there for him in case the marriage doesnt't work out, without having to tell him "I told you so!".

I see. So based on your logic I would be perfectly happy and content with my friend marrying a chick he only met twice if she were cute?

 

[DBella]

...on the other hand, just because you are face to face with someone, it doesn't necessarily mean you know that person. You can meet a person at a bar, or wherever other than the internet, hang out with them and get married a few months later. Is that any less... 'desperate'? They get married and had great sex... for a while. And then find out that that's all they've got and nothing more. That, other than sex, they don't really know the person they married.

Whether the friend is 'desperate' or maybe really fell in 'love' with the person behind the screen, you can't know for sure and therefore shouldn't be too judgmental toward your friend.

 

[EdRyder]

Where the hell have all you people been???
Are you just finding out now this is commonplace?
I know 2(count em 2) people in my immediate circle that met their significant others over the internet.
I also know 1 more who's 15 year marriage failed due to cheating with someone they met over the internet.

I can also name many, MANY friends who's judgment of spousal choice I call into question that they met in the real world-