Bought/Thought 10/31/07

[Darthphere]

It usually gets repetitive for me, too, but something about the Smash franchise provides neverending fun for me.

I generally prefer games with really strong stories, though. Hence why my favorite FPS series is Half-Life.

Word. One of my favorite games ever is KOTOR dude, and that's about 80 hours of your life just gone. Other than that, Splinter Cell is the shiznit.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

You have a sorry existence.



Never played it. The last few games I played religiously were Kingdom Hearts, Zelda: Twilight Princess and Deadrising.

Dead Rising is one of the chief reasons I wanted an X-Box 360 for a while. I started Kingdom Hearts and then got sidetracked and never finished. Never played any of the Zelda games past the old-school NES ones. Blasphemy, I know, but I've never owned a Nintendo console past the NES, and it doesn't really work to monopolize my friends' consoles playing a long, intricate, story-driven game at their house.

 

[Doc Destruction]

80 hours...wow. I lost 364 DAYS of my life to Everquest. Such suckage.

 

[Darthphere]

You have a sorry existence.

Dude, Madden, Gears of War, and Halo 3? Dude, nonstop gameplay and **** talking.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

80 hours...wow. I lost 364 DAYS of my life to Everquest. Such suckage.

My friend lost his job to Final Fantasy 11. He just stopped going.

Word. One of my favorite games ever is KOTOR dude, and that's about 80 hours of your life just gone. Other than that, Splinter Cell is the shiznit.

KOTOR rules. The second one wasn't as good, but it was still better than most other games.

 

[PhotoJones]

Word. One of my favorite games ever is KOTOR dude, and that's about 80 hours of your life just gone. Other than that, Splinter Cell is the shiznit.

Sorry. Existence.

Dead Rising is one of the chief reasons I wanted an X-Box 360 for a while. I started Kingdom Hearts and then got sidetracked and never finished. Never played any of the Zelda games past the old-school NES ones. Blasphemy, I know, but I've never owned a Nintendo console past the NES, and it doesn't really work to monopolize my friends' consoles playing a long, intricate, story-driven game at their house.

Dead Rising was pretty awesome. Even if you don't play the missions, running around beating the **** out of zombies never gets old or repetitive.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

You should really give Half-Life a try if you think so. The story is deliciously awesome, and there are 'zombies' aplenty, along with other fun stuff.

 

[PhotoJones]

You should really give Half-Life a try if you think so. The story is deliciously awesome, and there are 'zombies' aplenty, along with other fun stuff.

The only other game that piqued my interest of late was Alan Wake. At least, that's what I think it's called.

 

[Darthphere]

I'm waiting for Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect personally.

 

[PhotoJones]

Never heard of either of them.

 

[Darthphere]

You should.

 

[PhotoJones]

Games are bad for your health.

 

[yenaled]

Assassin's Creed looks pant wetting awesome.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

Yeah, it does.

 

[Darthphere]

Games are bad for your health.

Most things are. I'm waiting for the news report where they tell you breathing too much can cause cancer.

Assassin's Creed looks pant wetting awesome.

Indeed.

 

[PhotoJones]

Most things are. I'm waiting for the news report where they tell you breathing too much can cause cancer.

Not cancer, but lead poisoning. Depending on who you believe, that is.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

One game I was seriously looking forward to was Alliance: The Secret War. Unfortunately, it looks like it'll never be released now.

 

[Darthphere]

Not cancer, but lead poisoning. Depending on who you believe, that is.

****ing ay.

 

[masteryoda]

American Virgin #20 - The name on the cover says Ryan Kelly, but series artist Becky Cloonan actually did the art for this one. We're near the end and it's a shame because the book has never been better. For those that don't know, it's been cancelled due to low sales. Newsarama's still got Seagle's blog/letter/rant about how Dread's a dickbag for not being accepting of new ideas and/or trying out quality books because he's a sheep that reads what Marvel tells him to. Point is, the book is good and I'll miss it.

That's too bad, it was an interesting series.

 

[BrianWilly]

My friend lost his job to Final Fantasy 11. He just stopped going.

Final Fantasy 11 was pretty much the worst thing ever wrapped up in the best package. I spent more than $300 collective on that experience, probably upwards of 100 hours of gaming, and in the end I quit before even getting a fcking advanced class.

It was horrible.


Countdown #26
I had stopped reviewing this title because of the pain, but I think this issue bears mention simply due to the fact that it is, in my opinion, the single worst issue of Countdown yet published. And that, my friends, is amazing. I seriously invite everyone to read (not buy) this at least once, just to see for yourselves what will be known eventually as the biggest trainwreck DC has ever attempted.

There is more freaking text in this single issue than almost ten ordinary comics combined, and guess where it all comes from? That's right: the Monitors. Who spend 22 pages telling us everything that we already knew in intricate, mind-boggling detail. Never before has there been a worser instance of "tell not show" in any comic I've ever read than the one here. We know that Monarch is waging a war only because the Monitors tell us that he is; we sure as hell haven't actually seen him wage his war at any point in this title. We know that Karate Kid's future illness is significant to the multiverse only because the Monitors tell us that it is; KK not actually displayed any symptoms of any illness right up until this week, so how in the world were we supposed to know what it's supposed to do?

By the by, in the event that you haven't been following Countdown, it might shock you indeed to see the last page shockingly surprising reveal of this issue: DARKSEID IS BEHIND EVERYTHING!

...What's that, you say? We actually found that out in the first page of the very first issue? Oh. Never mind then.

And finally I leave you all with this gem.

Oh, DC.

(2.1 out of 10)


Annihilation: Quasar #4
Huh. Were the Quantum Bands always such a blatant copy of the Green Lantern rings?

A fairly good conclusion. It's basically more of the same of the last three issues, and I liked the last three issues. Great art, acceptable characterizations, big battles, straightforward narrative, and lesbians. I'm fairly neutral about [blackout]Adam Warlock[/blackout] being the savior, though I'm leaning towards "liking it" due to it hearkening back to the days of big epic Marvel space sagas like the Infinity series...which is exactly what this is.

Overall a good mini, whetting the appetite for the big event.

(7.5 out of 10)
(8 out of 10 for the whole series)


52 Aftermath: The Four Horsemen #3
Is it just me? I didn't like this issue very much, which really surprised me 'cause I was way into the first two. They had an exciting plot with a lot of momentum and great character moments from all around. But this issue...it's not bad so much as really average, with a lot of irritating qualities thrown in.

The dialogue is hella stilted as all hell. It's not badly written per se, it's just depicted real wonky. Here's an unaltered exchange between two people from the issue...

"Sooner the better, Michael."
"Goes without saying."
"Best case?"
"Barring mishap?"
"Not what I want to hear."

I don't know if Giffen was trying to mimic real life conversations or whatever, but it reeeally doesn't work. I read through every line of dialogue in the issue very carefully and I still couldn't understand half of what people were trying to convey.

The other problem is with the Big Three. I liked Giffen's portrayal of the Trinity at first; it felt fresh and engaging. But by the point of this issue, they just sound like the same exact person talking out of three different bodies. There's no personality contrast whatsoever...everyone's just glowering and snappy. And the really engaging part of the Trinity is supposed to be their contrasts; they are very much supposed to be three distinct personalities that mix well together, not one single voice arguing with itself. You could have given a majority of Superman's dialogue to Batman verbatim, and Batman's to Wonder Woman, and it probably wouldn't have made much of a difference. Not a good thing.

The final problem is Snapper Carr. He is just bloody fcking annoying as fck here. Not that he was really such an endearing character in the first place. but man. He talks down to Superman, scoffs at Wonder Woman, and belittles Batman (who, granted, is being a big dick about things). He's just been revealed as a spy and spends the rest of the issue acting smug about it. Damn.

(5.2 out of 10)


X-Men: Messiah Complex Chapter 1
I don't know if I'm feeling this. The whole feel of this somehow just screams nineties to me, and I look back on the X-Men in the nineties with lots of regret and a bit of vomit. Let's see if we recognize this formula: everything sucks for the team, no matter what they do it still sucks, everyone hates them, the lose every single time, their enemies are constantly like ten levels above them...and there are far, far, far too many characters to keep track of. Wash rinse repeat. It was a cycle that took Morrison shooting it in the face to get out of, and yet here we are again. I guess I'm just a Morrison X-fan at heart, because I could honestly care less about the Marauders or Sinister or whatever wacky schemes they come up with these days.

And lest we forget, the last big X-stories that Brubaker tackled were "Deadly Genesis" and "Rise and Fall Of The Shi’ar Empire." Yeah, let's not all shudder at once.

I'll probably continue to follow this story because, at heart, I do genuinely care about these characters, but I'm setting the bar low for now. That way I can only be impressed and not disappointed.

(6 out of 10)


52 Aftermath: Crime Bible: Five Lessons of Blood #1
Well, it's certainly not a happy book. This could easily have been a Vertigo title and might've made more sense in that context. It is the Crime Bible, after all, and Rucka doesn't pull punches.

And of course, with Rucka on-helm, it's an incredibly well-written and vivid story, with Words and Dialogue instead of just words and dialogue. The narrative is intricately planned and even the setup of the "lessons," ie Deceit for this issue and Lust for the next (ahoy teh lesbians), is a grim little header. The addition of an actual lengthy passage from the CB itself at the beginning of the book is as enjoyably chilling as it gets.

It's easy to see where he's taking Renee's emotional arc on this -- exploring dark sht leads you into become the dark sht and etc -- but "easy to see" isn't always the same as predictable, and I'm looking forward to where we're going next on this.

Meanwhile, I completely lol'd at the panel where the mother's dialogue -- "Antony! Come back here!" -- comes out of the running kid's head. Oh DC. When will you get around to hiring new editors to replace the ones that were brutally murdered by Beechen this year?

(8.3 out of 10)


Justice Society of America #10
"Is that why I don't see men and women tossing one another through buildings? Or unleashing lightning through the hearts of their adversaries? Or fields smoldering with atomic radiation from a battle that went too far?"

While I appreciate what Johns is trying to convey here, and do agree with it to most extents, the continuity ****e in me is just raising the fark out of my eyebrows 'cause, well, pretty much all of those things have happened from time to time on this Earth. When you place this Earth in comparison with dystopias like the KC Earth and, oh I dunno, the Marvel universe for example, of course it's going to come off better in most respects, but by no means is it as happy and shiny as the dialogue here would have us believe.

Other than that, this is a great issue. Even if you've never read Kingdom Come before, and ZOMGWTFROTFLMAO to you have you haven't, it's easy to follow and nicely paced, and the emotional weight of Superman's appearance here is palpable...especially for Power Girl.

And lo and behold, Obsidian actually appears! I swear to your god, I'd pretty much completely forgotten that he was even in this book. But no, he gets meaningful dialogue here along with a really cool sort of redesign by Eaglesham. He looks all cool and Spawnlike, and if his somber attitude here is a bit of a contradiction to his happy-camper gaiety over in the Manhunter series, well, I guess I don't mind too much 'cause Buffy Herself only knows when that book is coming back.

Meanwhile, I completely lol'd at that last page where Eaglesham obviously drew John Stewart and Kalisz obviously colored Hal Jordan. And Superman wasn't wearing pants at the beginning of the issue but is magically wearing pants when he punches through the door. Oh DC. When will you get around to hiring new editors to replace the ones that were brutally murdered by Beechen this year?

(8 out of 10)


Countdown to Mystery #2
I can't help it; I really like the Dr. Fate story here. It is a picture-perfect example of how exactly to write a magic superhero. And Kent is no fresh-faced Peter Parker to the world; he's a fully self-aware grown borderline middle-aged man who is in a rut, not to mention homeless, yet isn't being tremondously whiney about it. We get spell duels with demon lords -- two in a single issue! -- and sorcerous jargon like "Jaduan spears volley!" (which, btw, is so very damn anime, I love it) all wrapped up in a competent story about an interesting character, which is more than pretty much any other comic can say. So, big props to this.

Onto the Eclipso portion of the story, where Eclipso herself barely appears, which is either good or bad depending on your perspective. Once again we get some nice moments with Crispin Allen *********ing in a waterfall (that's how I choose to see it and you can't stop me), which was nice.

And then we come to Plastic Man, and it all gets FCKED THE HELL UP.

It's likely that we'll get to the end of this and there'll me another AmazonsAttackesque backtracking of an ending where the writer goes "Surprise! He was just mind-controlled!" which will be ******ed, but at least it'll leave some semblance of Plas salvageable. But then how do you explain Luke's behavior here? It's so blindingly freaking obvious that Sturges and whichever editors demanded this story never read a single panel of Eel and Luke's relationship back in Joe Kelly's JLA run which, to add insult to injury, was not even that long ago nor was it a very hefty read.

Luke loves his father very much. He was very proud of him and liked that his dad was Plastic Man. And Eel ended up being a pretty good father; the fact that the two were still hanging out at the time of 52 is testament to that. Their story was one of the best ongoing arcs of a JLA run filled with good ongoing arcs.

Now, it's "You don't respect me one bit, do you?" followed by "No! I don't! Why would I? What did you ever do for me?" Fck that noise. Fck that making happy characters grim bullsht of ******ed sht. And fck you, Sturges. This is not Hypertime-level obscure continuity, this was a very simple story that you could have easily browsed. If you're going to write a story where a previously-established relationship features prominently, then maybe you should have actually read the one single story where the relationship was established.

And oh yeah, I loved this: "Don't you remember? I used to bring you here when you were a kid!" Wow, people. How could he remember something that never happened? Was Luke's wikipedia entry that vague? The whole point of them was that Plas didn't even know Luke when he was a kid. Good job proving that you have any idea at all about what you're doing...wait, no.

(5 out of 5 for the Dr. Fate story)
(0.7 out of 5 for the Eclipso story)
(5.7 out of 10 overall)


The Trials of Shazam! #9
What's it say about a series when I prefer the fill-in artist above the regular artist? Don't get me wrong, Porter was fine. But Cascioli...he's great here. Not just great; he's excellent.

The story is fine. Straightforward but meaningful. And that ending will make for some very interesting upcoming issues. Winick's conceit that Sabina is in any way an interesting character has bogged down this series at periodic points; let's be honest, I don't care about Sabina on any level whatsoever other than that of her presence as a villain for Freddy to eventually defeat, and the one way to make her more interesting is to make her a cooler villain than just "btchy Assassin Chick #573489." Which, I feel, has finally happened here.

Again Winick fcks around with mythology in awkward ways. So apparently when a god becomes human and has children and then becomes a god again, all his human children will disappear like he never existed. Um, really Judd? Are you sure that's how you want to play this? 'Cause that just fails to make sense on an epic scale.

This story needs to end already. The longer it stagnates, the more that it hurts the Shazam portion of the DCU, which is already in a pretty sorry state. Mostly because of this series, it has to be said.

(6.8 out of 10)

 

[TheCorpulent1]

The quantum bands have always been capable of creating constructs, yes. They have more in the way of energy manipulation and more definition to what they're capable of than the do-everything GL rings, though.

 

[yenaled]

Countdown to Mystery #2
I can't help it; I really like the Dr. Fate story here. It is a picture-perfect example of how exactly to write a magic superhero. And Kent is no fresh-faced Peter Parker to the world; he's a fully self-aware grown borderline middle-aged man who is in a rut, not to mention homeless, yet isn't being tremondously whiney about it. We get spell duels with demon lords -- two in a single issue! -- and sorcerous jargon like "Jaduan spears volley!" (which, btw, is so very damn anime, I love it) all wrapped up in a competent story about an interesting character, which is more than pretty much any other comic can say. So, big props to this.

Onto the Eclipso portion of the story, where Eclipso herself barely appears, which is either good or bad depending on your perspective. Once again we get some nice moments with Crispin Allen *********ing in a waterfall (that's how I choose to see it and you can't stop me), which was nice.

And then we come to Plastic Man, and it all gets FCKED THE HELL UP.

It's likely that we'll get to the end of this and there'll me another AmazonsAttackesque backtracking of an ending where the writer goes "Surprise! He was just mind-controlled!" which will be ******ed, but at least it'll leave some semblance of Plas salvageable. But then how do you explain Luke's behavior here? It's so blindingly freaking obvious that Sturges and whichever editors demanded this story never read a single panel of Eel and Luke's relationship back in Joe Kelly's JLA run which, to add insult to injury, was not even that long ago nor was it a very hefty read.

Luke loves his father very much. He was very proud of him and liked that his dad was Plastic Man. And Eel ended up being a pretty good father; the fact that the two were still hanging out at the time of 52 is testament to that. Their story was one of the best ongoing arcs of a JLA run filled with good ongoing arcs.

Now, it's "You don't respect me one bit, do you?" followed by "No! I don't! Why would I? What did you ever do for me?" Fck that noise. Fck that making happy characters grim bullsht of ******ed sht. And fck you, Sturges. This is not Hypertime-level obscure continuity, this was a very simple story that you could have easily browsed. If you're going to write a story where a previously-established relationship features prominently, then maybe you should have actually read the one single story where the relationship was established.

And oh yeah, I loved this: "Don't you remember? I used to bring you here when you were a kid!" Wow, people. How could he remember something that never happened? Was Luke's wikipedia entry that vague? The whole point of them was that Plas didn't even know Luke when he was a kid. Good job proving that you have any idea at all about what you're doing...wait, no.

(5 out of 5 for the Dr. Fate story)
(0.7 out of 5 for the Eclipso story)
(5.7 out of 10 overall)

Have you been swimming around in my head? I litteraly have just said all that to my housemate.

I couldn't love the Dr. Fate story more at this point, really interesting character in Dr. Kent Nelson and managing the juggle a powerful magic superhero without making him passivly powerful (I have a problem that sometimes magic feels too passive that the magician never really does anything). Gerber has set it up almost a lot like the new Blue Beetle, he can hear instructions and incantations whispered to him through the helmet but without Nabu I'll be interested to know where that is actually coming from.

I love the redesign, it's subtle but very modern and I love the shifting helmet.

No complaints from the main story. Then the Eclipso back-up is just so horrendously bad. Which is a bigger shame because with how stunningly good the back-up was in Tales of Mystery this time last year.

 

[TheCorpulent1]

The Dr. Fate story is actually good? I bought the first issue and wasn't impressed. I find it lame that they've basically given the Helmet back to Kent Nelson, with a little "Oh, it's not the Golden Age Kent Nelson, it's his grandson or grandnephew or whatever instead" thrown in as an afterthought.

 

[SouLeSS]

80 hours...wow. I lost 364 DAYS of my life to Everquest. Such suckage.

/played or /days?

Yeah, I had a char on WoW with around 60 DAYS /played, and when I saw that I quit instantly. Way to much ****ing time spent on that.

 

[yenaled]

I'm one of those weird guys who play end of game WOW, daily, I turned off the thing that tells me how many days I have played.

The Dr. Fate story is actually good? I bought the first issue and wasn't impressed. I find it lame that they've basically given the Helmet back to Kent Nelson, with a little "Oh, it's not the Golden Age Kent Nelson, it's his grandson or grandnephew or whatever instead" thrown in as an afterthought.

That does seem a bit weird to me, I'm thinking (considering when the book was meant to be released before Gerbers heath troubles) it may have been a way for John's to get the character into JSA - with the whole thing about a guy killing off Golden Age bloodlines.

But really, it doesn't bear much significance to the character, Dr. Kent seems like a strong and interesting character - can't remember where a professional therapist was a main focus for a superhero comics.