Can Men be Trusted? With your Woman.

[The Guard]

Men and women can be trusted to be whoever they are personally.

Random point: Reading some of these posts, I think it's amusing that we live in a culture where what's easy is valued more than what is not. Always have found that amusing.

To me, I think it's more about realizing the nature of social interaction and learning to come to terms with the fact that people are human than whining about how much you can or cannot "trust" someone. Especially if you're going to keep those people in your life after they "betray" or hurt you.

"Trust" should not have to equal "I will never let you down". This is a mistake people make when they talk about trusting people. And this "screwed" thing is...interesting, to say the least. No one's perfect. There's too damn much going on in the world and too many conflicting signals and mindsets and worldviews for people to always keep their word, do the right thing, and satisfy everyone else.

I'll just point out that if a girl has the following problem:
Boyfriend 1 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
Boyfriend 2 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
Boyfriend 3 sleeps with girlfriend's sister

And the girl doesn't like this fact, then I would say that the issue is one of this particular girl's taste and more to the point, her common sense. At some point, it becomes ludicrous to expect a certain level of loyalty from certain types of people. It becomes ludicrous to trust certain kinds of people, and this appears to be one of them. I saw this a lot in college. Girls would fall from some idiot who flat out LOOKED like he would treat people like crap, and often had a history of doing so, and then end up shocked and brokenhearted when he...you guessed it, treated them like crap. If you're going to keep falling for the same kind of guy, and going to keep putting yourself in certain situations, then you can pretty much expect the same results. I don't have a lot of sympathy for people that do that to themselves, except on a very basic level.

That said, I'm married I trust my wife to be an adult, and she trusts me to be one. That means we make our choices the best we can at any given time, and we live with the consequences. That does not mean that we won't be tempted to stray, or to flirt, or whatever it is that people do. People are, of course, human, and for some, that means expressing affection toward someone other than their spouse once in a while. To me, "trust" means that we love each other, and will not do anything to hurt the other person, at least intentionally. But to us, that "trust" has a completely different meaning than it does for some people. It doesn't mean "I will hate you if you sleep with someone else". And that's something missing here, in this discussion. The importance of context. While there is a general idea of what relationships and friendships should be...not everyone has the same ideas and feelings about those things.

I think people can be tempted to do things that are considered wrong for a multitude of reasons, so there's nothing wrong with guarding your emotions, or with being cautious, as long as that doesn't detract from yours or others lives.

My sister no-showed a video taping that a company is spending a million dollars on. What she was there to do was to go on a DVD release that would be in every store in the country. If I did not have a backup plan...knowing that people cant be trusted...then we would have lost vaulable footage that could never be regained. That is hardly minor.

Question. Is your sister employed by the company? Because if she's not, it would seem foolish to expect her to show up for this project.

as far as my phone goes...I have friends who have BEGGED me to give them certain rock stars phone numbers. I of course refused. However, if they take my phone, pull the numbers and use them, they could cost me my entire career (theoretically). that is not a small thing. Do not touch my phone.

How'd they even find out? Wouldn't it have been smarter just not to tell people you have certain rock star's numbers on your phone to begin with?

Or...not to keep personal information like that on your phone?

Or to put a password on your phone?

 

[ShadowBoxing]

MINOR?????

My sister no-showed a video taping that a company is spending a million dollars on. What she was there to do was to go on a DVD release that would be in every store in the country. If I did not have a backup plan...knowing that people cant be trusted...then we would have lost vaulable footage that could never be regained. That is hardly minor.

Well god damnit! If you wanted your sister to show up at your porno shoot you should've gotten her the TiVo she requested in her contract

 

[ShadowBoxing]

So, to answer your question...it IS getting screwed over when someone ha a responsibility and fails to live up to it. If you are scheduled to leave Burger Hut at 5 and the next shift doesnt show...you just got screwed over.

Any idiot could figure that out...well...most idiots.

So basically you're saying you work in fast food. I'm sorry.

 

[The Guard]

Does anyone else have thousands of friends?

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Does anyone else have thousands of friends?

Do Facebook 'friends' count?

 

[Heretic]

So basically you're saying you work in fast food. I'm sorry.

I said YOU, not I...theres a difference between those two words. Im sad that you arent aware of the difference between the words You and I.

Second...I never said I have thousands of friends. I said thousands of people claim to be my friend. I actually have about 5 people I consider friends. Again...big difference...

And to answer the question about whether my sister is employed by the company...no...and neither am I. I am a freelancer...and my sister is starting a photography/videography businees. So, I gave her a chance on a big project...nothing wrong with that. The only reason why i did not get in huge trouble with the execs is that I always assume that I'll be let down, so I had a plan B.

And the answer to "howd my friends find out that I have a rock stars phone number..." This really shouldnt be difficult to figure out. If you are a carpenter, I asume you have a hammer in your truck. If you are a policeman, I assume you have a gun. I work in the music industry, booking, publicity, management...jack of all trades, master of none. Now is where the "hes bragging" comments come in...but the guy asked...I assume that your close friends know what you do for a living, right????

 

[Heretic]

and oh yeah...I do have my phone password protected. Thats my entire point. None of my friends can screw me over...but the mere fact that I tell them not to mess with my phone should be enough...if it is not enough then I know its a friend I cant trust...AND they cant screw me over. Its a plan B folks!

Also...I use my cell phone for work purposes...why wouldnt I have work contacts on my work cell???????

These are all stupid.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

I said YOU, not I...theres a difference between those two words. Im sad that you arent aware of the difference between the words You and I.

Okay, well I (you in your case) don't work in fast food. It just strikes me as odd, and call me crazy, that you used the whole intricate example of someone not covering your...I mean some dude's...(I take it you have this friend)...shift as being an example of someone getting screwed over. I'm sorry, but if you have this high power, six figure, rock star job you claim to have you'd realize that most of us who work in a field don't have shifts, and we often have to work a lot longer than we originally intended because we have to get sh-- done. That's just part of having a career, and working late doesn't constitute 'getting screwed over', it's just part of being responsible. I'm glad you've found a job that doesn't force you to put your precious life on hold...

Second...I never said I have thousands of friends. I said thousands of people claim to be my friend. I actually have about 5 people I consider friends. Again...big difference...

Oh, I'm sure your adoring public is on top of you the minute you walk out the door.

And to answer the question about whether my sister is employed by the company...no...and neither am I. I am a freelancer...and my sister is starting a photography/videography businees. So, I gave her a chance on a big project...nothing wrong with that. The only reason why i did not get in huge trouble with the execs is that I always assume that I'll be let down, so I had a plan B.

The Business man might want to learn to spell business.

And the answer to "howd my friends find out that I have a rock stars phone number..." This really shouldnt be difficult to figure out. If you are a carpenter, I asume you have a hammer in your truck. If you are a policeman, I assume you have a gun. I work in the music industry, booking, publicity, management...jack of all trades, master of none. Now is where the "hes bragging" comments come in...but the guy asked...I assume that your close friends know what you do for a living, right????

Okay...but what do you do for a living, you know, when you're not on the Hype?

 

[The Guard]

Do Facebook 'friends' count?

Of course not.

And to answer the question about whether my sister is employed by the company...no...and neither am I. I am a freelancer...and my sister is starting a photography/videography businees. So, I gave her a chance on a big project...nothing wrong with that. The only reason why i did not get in huge trouble with the execs is that I always assume that I'll be let down, so I had a plan B.

I see.

And the answer to "howd my friends find out that I have a rock stars phone number..." This really shouldnt be difficult to figure out. If you are a carpenter, I asume
you have a hammer in your truck. If you are a policeman, I assume you have a gun. I work in the music industry, booking, publicity, management...jack of all trades, master of none. Now is where the "hes bragging" comments come in...but the guy asked...I assume that your close friends know what you do for a living, right????

Yes. They do know what I do. What they don't know is how much of my work I take home at any given time. Mostly because it's none of their business. I'm just curious, if you have such sensitive information, why would you even risk telling people what you have on your phone, if the secrecy of the contents is so integral?

Then it does sort of become about "bragging". Which is fine, I guess. You work with celebrities, maybe you feel like telling people about it. I guess the question is, if said info is so sensitive, why do they even need to know you possess said info?

Why wouldn't you have "work contacts" on your phone?

I don't know...the same reason I don't put customer phone numbers on my phone. The potential for a massive lawsuit and/or future lack of work if they end up getting harassed by ANYONE if their number got out?

 

[Heretic]

Thats why the phone numbers on my cell phone will NEVER get out. Thats my entire point...Im not going to blindly trust my friends...its my career were talking about...if I was an idiot I would trust my friends...but Im not...thats my point. trust is stupid when your career is on the line. Its not like I tell people 'I have "insert rock star"s phone number. If Im on tour with a band, and Im one of the ones responsible for them being where they sshould be, it is common sense to know that I would have access to their cell phones if I needed to call them.

Shadowboxing....my posts have TONS of screw-ups in punctuation and spelling. In case you arent aware...people like me...glorified roadies...arent known for their excellent typing skills. Im not in the spellcheck business...apparently you are.

If you dont understand that when Im talking to someone and I say "you", then I am not referring to myself, but instead the person Im talking to then...again...youre also not very bright. Had I been talking about myself then I would have said "I".

However...if you are working a shift at ANY job...and someone no-show and you have to stay...no one here thinks "I am a responsible employee, therefore I shall help my place of business out and stay longer". No...you think "Crap! Now Im screwed and have to stay late!" Do not pretend that you dont think that.

Also...at what point did I say I was making 6 figures????? In fact, I have repeatedly said that my girlfriend makes a lot more than i do.

Also, i dont have an "adoring public", but because Im on the road a lot, I tend to know many people in many different cities. Those are buddies of mine...and I have lots of them.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Shadowboxing....my posts have TONS of screw-ups in punctuation and spelling. In case you arent aware...people like me...glorified roadies...arent known for their excellent typing skills. Im not in the spellcheck business...apparently you are.

Well SHH! has a spell-check on it.

...but, most successful people do, in fact, have basic writing skills. This is how, say, you'd compose a resume' capable of getting a job or career actually worth a damn, rather than working in fast food, or a job with "shifts".

If you dont understand that when Im talking to someone and I say "you", then I am not referring to myself, but instead the person Im talking to then...again...youre also not very bright. Had I been talking about myself then I would have said "I".

Projection: it's a psychology term. Look it up.

However...if you are working a shift at ANY job...and someone no-show and you have to stay...no one here thinks "I am a responsible employee, therefore I shall help my place of business out and stay longer". No...you think "Crap! Now Im screwed and have to stay late!" Do not pretend that you dont think that.

Okay, when I have to stay late I don't think that, and I'm not pretending. It's part of life. Stop whining.

Also...at what point did I say I was making 6 figures????? In fact, I have repeatedly said that my girlfriend makes a lot more than i do.

Who is apparently less people savvy than you because she 'trusts' people. I'm sure she'd love to see this thread :heart:.

Also, i dont have an "adoring public", but because Im on the road a lot, I tend to know many people in many different cities. Those are buddies of mine...and I have lots of them.

I've heard people talk this game in real life, it doesn't impress me there either.

 

[Spade]

I would definitely trust my girl around other guys. The way I see it, if she's going to cheat on me then I'll find out and it'll be over. Infidelity is a sign of one of two things: either that the relationship has been stressed to that point, or that the other person is a really bad mate. Since I'd never push my girl so far that she'd feel the need to see other men while we're dating, it'd most likely be the latter and I don't want a girlfriend who's like that.

Of course, I admit I might be naive having not been in a relationship for a very long time. My friend recently found out his girl, who he trusted, was cheating on him...with eight other guys. I can talk about how I would dump a chick like that, as I would, but if I were in the same situation I'd probably fume and be wary of trusting other girls in the future. It's an extreme, sure, but it'd be much harder to be rational if something that screwed up happened to me.

P.S. This poll is really ridiculous. If you honestly believe your opinion is so spot-on, why bother posting a thread in the first place? All you want to see is other people agreeing with you.

 

[Heretic]

I do have basic writing skills...which is why Ive been paid to write press releases. However, i cant type worth crap. At work, I spell check and make sure things look right. However...this is a superhero message board. Earlier you equated my typing mistakes here to a resume'...if you really...honestly...dont see the difference between a message board post and a resume' then I really cant help you. On a message board, i care so little about these things that i dont even bother to hit spellcheck. My life, my world does not revolve around proper spelling at SHH! Your parents should be proud that you are the official spellcheck police though.

My girlfriend is sitting right next to me playing with the kitten. She is well aware that I think shes too trusting of people. It doesnt mean that I think ill of her.

And regarding the "I wasnt impressed in real life either"...

This game is so overused its not funny. I gave examples of people being screwed over, so people said "you must have lousy judgement", so I said that I know a lot of people and have heard stories and they replied with "I dont believe you know so many people" and now I explained WHY I know so many people and its "Im not impressed with your bragging". What this is is a runaround. You have no facts to back up your side, so you resort to "Youre an internet phony" talk and...of course...spellchecking. FACTS and THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF HISTORY agree with my side of this discussion...but you disagree...but with no leg to stand on, you simply say "nuh uh, nuh uh" forever.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Or, ya know, I can use that whole common sense portion of my brain...ya'know the one important in establishing trust and whatnot...to determine your forth grade vocabulary and total lack of reading comprehension skills regarding both my and Jaguarr's posts couldn't have gotten you all that far in life. Or I could go with the whole 'this all seems like some weird defensive talk' when it was clear you were getting no where in your "argument" (if you could call in such a thing). I also find it odd someone who claims such a glamorous life on the road with rockstars is so bitter when it comes to relationships, people and trust. In order to do what you do, and accomplish things like promoting a band, starting a business and alike you'd need to trust an incredible amount of people, or else the house of cards you built would fall apart quicker than this thread.

As for me being 'the spell check police", hardly. I simply prefer to talk to people online who can communicate well with others and I don't mind pointing out when someone is clearly having trouble doing so.

 

[Venom'sDad]

Simply.... No. We can't be trusted.... it's the Laws of Nature.

 

[Heretic]

Or, ya know, I can use that whole common sense portion of my brain...ya'know the one important in establishing trust and whatnot...to determine your forth grade vocabulary and total lack of reading comprehension skills regarding both my and Jaguarr's posts couldn't have gotten you all that far in life. Or I could go with the whole 'this all seems like some weird defensive talk' when it was clear you were getting no where in your "argument" (if you could call in such a thing). I also find it odd someone who claims such a glamorous life on the road with rockstars is so bitter when it comes to relationships, people and trust. In order to do what you do, and accomplish things like promoting a band, starting a business and alike you'd need to trust an incredible amount of people, or else the house of cards you built would fall apart quicker than this thread.

As for me being 'the spell check police", hardly. I simply prefer to talk to people online who can communicate well with others and I don't mind pointing out when someone is clearly having trouble doing so.

Im sorry, allow me to make my point one more time, and I'll see if I can communicate it effectively.

Every single adult person in the history of the world has been betrayed by people they trusted. The most vicious, the most hurtful betrayals of trust are generally committed by those that the victims trust the most.

The above are FACTS. You cannot claim that I am not right on those points...yet page after page people say that I am wrong on those facts. Its absolute lunacy. It is idiotic that people are actually arguing that "yeah, everyone has been screwed over by their loved ones...but I never will be! Ever!". Its just mindblowingly stupid to argue that point.

And you clearly have no knowledge of the music business. To be honest, it is BECAUSE of my business that I am probably so guarded. How many rock n roll promoters, label execs and managers do you think are trustworthy??? Not many! Every single "friend" you have is trying to stab you in the back. Bands screw over other bands...its just a horrible, horrible cesspool of untrustworthy people. I actually have left the business for the most part recently. I've moved back home, started my own indie label...and Im not taking as many "big" assignments as I used to. I dont make NEARLY the money I used to, but Im happier.

However, I have never claimed it to be glamorous.

You find it hard to believe that a guy whos lived on tour buses would find it hard to trust??? Do you have any idea how many married women Ive seen on their knees for no-name rock n roll losers???? TRUST is the LAST thing you can find on the road.

 

[thedeadite]

Can men be trusted with my woman??

I can't say if I trust all men with my gf, but I DEFINITELY trust my gf with any man.
If I didn't trust her, then I wouldn't be with her.
My gf has many male friends (that I don't know, or care to know really), some more trustworthy than others (from my assumptions from what I do know about them).
I would never stop her from hanging out with these friends without me present, nor would I even want to.
Even if I don't trust a person to not "put the moves" on her, I trust her to stop any attempts and to tell me about any advances that she deems it fit for me to know about.

Again, if I didn't have this trust in her, I wouldn't be dating her, simple as that.
I'm too old for high school games.

 

[I'm Old Greg]

Men and women can be trusted to be whoever they are personally.

Random point: Reading some of these posts, I think it's amusing that we live in a culture where what's easy is valued more than what is not. Always have found that amusing.

To me, I think it's more about realizing the nature of social interaction and learning to come to terms with the fact that people are human than whining about how much you can or cannot "trust" someone. Especially if you're going to keep those people in your life after they "betray" or hurt you.

"Trust" should not have to equal "I will never let you down". This is a mistake people make when they talk about trusting people. And this "screwed" thing is...interesting, to say the least. No one's perfect. There's too damn much going on in the world and too many conflicting signals and mindsets and worldviews for people to always keep their word, do the right thing, and satisfy everyone else.

I'll just point out that if a girl has the following problem:
Boyfriend 1 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
Boyfriend 2 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
Boyfriend 3 sleeps with girlfriend's sister

And the girl doesn't like this fact, then I would say that the issue is one of this particular girl's taste and more to the point, her common sense. At some point, it becomes ludicrous to expect a certain level of loyalty from certain types of people. It becomes ludicrous to trust certain kinds of people, and this appears to be one of them. I saw this a lot in college. Girls would fall from some idiot who flat out LOOKED like he would treat people like crap, and often had a history of doing so, and then end up shocked and brokenhearted when he...you guessed it, treated them like crap. If you're going to keep falling for the same kind of guy, and going to keep putting yourself in certain situations, then you can pretty much expect the same results. I don't have a lot of sympathy for people that do that to themselves, except on a very basic level.

That said, I'm married I trust my wife to be an adult, and she trusts me to be one. That means we make our choices the best we can at any given time, and we live with the consequences. That does not mean that we won't be tempted to stray, or to flirt, or whatever it is that people do. People are, of course, human, and for some, that means expressing affection toward someone other than their spouse once in a while. To me, "trust" means that we love each other, and will not do anything to hurt the other person, at least intentionally. But to us, that "trust" has a completely different meaning than it does for some people. It doesn't mean "I will hate you if you sleep with someone else". And that's something missing here, in this discussion. The importance of context. While there is a general idea of what relationships and friendships should be...not everyone has the same ideas and feelings about those things.

I think people can be tempted to do things that are considered wrong for a multitude of reasons, so there's nothing wrong with guarding your emotions, or with being cautious, as long as that doesn't detract from yours or others lives.



Question. Is your sister employed by the company? Because if she's not, it would seem foolish to expect her to show up for this project.



How'd they even find out? Wouldn't it have been smarter just not to tell people you have certain rock star's numbers on your phone to begin with?

Or...not to keep personal information like that on your phone?

Or to put a password on your phone?

this is another insight thats leading to my next thread to this trilogy.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

FACTS and THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF HISTORY agree with my side of this discussion...but you disagree...but with no leg to stand on, you simply say "nuh uh, nuh uh" forever.

Okay, oh learned one, besides Judas (since we have no actual evidence verifying him), give me one example of a long time friend and ally betraying his compatriot.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers

 

[Erzengel]

Case closed.

 

[kane9321]

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers

crap spoons, you beat me to it

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers

Nooooo

 

[Colossal Spoons]

It's ok, Tony regrets it now

 

[November Rain]

Okay, oh learned one, besides Judas (since we have no actual evidence verifying him), give me one example of a long time friend and ally betraying his compatriot.

brutus on the ides of march betraying julius caesar

et tu brutae?