The Guard
Avenger
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2002
- Messages
- 34,040
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Men and women can be trusted to be whoever they are personally.
Random point: Reading some of these posts, I think it's amusing that we live in a culture where what's easy is valued more than what is not. Always have found that amusing.
To me, I think it's more about realizing the nature of social interaction and learning to come to terms with the fact that people are human than whining about how much you can or cannot "trust" someone. Especially if you're going to keep those people in your life after they "betray" or hurt you.
"Trust" should not have to equal "I will never let you down". This is a mistake people make when they talk about trusting people. And this "screwed" thing is...interesting, to say the least. No one's perfect. There's too damn much going on in the world and too many conflicting signals and mindsets and worldviews for people to always keep their word, do the right thing, and satisfy everyone else.
I'll just point out that if a girl has the following problem:
Boyfriend 1 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
Boyfriend 2 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
Boyfriend 3 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
And the girl doesn't like this fact, then I would say that the issue is one of this particular girl's taste and more to the point, her common sense. At some point, it becomes ludicrous to expect a certain level of loyalty from certain types of people. It becomes ludicrous to trust certain kinds of people, and this appears to be one of them. I saw this a lot in college. Girls would fall from some idiot who flat out LOOKED like he would treat people like crap, and often had a history of doing so, and then end up shocked and brokenhearted when he...you guessed it, treated them like crap. If you're going to keep falling for the same kind of guy, and going to keep putting yourself in certain situations, then you can pretty much expect the same results. I don't have a lot of sympathy for people that do that to themselves, except on a very basic level.
That said, I'm married I trust my wife to be an adult, and she trusts me to be one. That means we make our choices the best we can at any given time, and we live with the consequences. That does not mean that we won't be tempted to stray, or to flirt, or whatever it is that people do. People are, of course, human, and for some, that means expressing affection toward someone other than their spouse once in a while. To me, "trust" means that we love each other, and will not do anything to hurt the other person, at least intentionally. But to us, that "trust" has a completely different meaning than it does for some people. It doesn't mean "I will hate you if you sleep with someone else". And that's something missing here, in this discussion. The importance of context. While there is a general idea of what relationships and friendships should be...not everyone has the same ideas and feelings about those things.
I think people can be tempted to do things that are considered wrong for a multitude of reasons, so there's nothing wrong with guarding your emotions, or with being cautious, as long as that doesn't detract from yours or others lives.
Question. Is your sister employed by the company? Because if she's not, it would seem foolish to expect her to show up for this project.
How'd they even find out? Wouldn't it have been smarter just not to tell people you have certain rock star's numbers on your phone to begin with?
Or...not to keep personal information like that on your phone?
Or to put a password on your phone?
Random point: Reading some of these posts, I think it's amusing that we live in a culture where what's easy is valued more than what is not. Always have found that amusing.
To me, I think it's more about realizing the nature of social interaction and learning to come to terms with the fact that people are human than whining about how much you can or cannot "trust" someone. Especially if you're going to keep those people in your life after they "betray" or hurt you.
"Trust" should not have to equal "I will never let you down". This is a mistake people make when they talk about trusting people. And this "screwed" thing is...interesting, to say the least. No one's perfect. There's too damn much going on in the world and too many conflicting signals and mindsets and worldviews for people to always keep their word, do the right thing, and satisfy everyone else.
I'll just point out that if a girl has the following problem:
Boyfriend 1 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
Boyfriend 2 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
Boyfriend 3 sleeps with girlfriend's sister
And the girl doesn't like this fact, then I would say that the issue is one of this particular girl's taste and more to the point, her common sense. At some point, it becomes ludicrous to expect a certain level of loyalty from certain types of people. It becomes ludicrous to trust certain kinds of people, and this appears to be one of them. I saw this a lot in college. Girls would fall from some idiot who flat out LOOKED like he would treat people like crap, and often had a history of doing so, and then end up shocked and brokenhearted when he...you guessed it, treated them like crap. If you're going to keep falling for the same kind of guy, and going to keep putting yourself in certain situations, then you can pretty much expect the same results. I don't have a lot of sympathy for people that do that to themselves, except on a very basic level.
That said, I'm married I trust my wife to be an adult, and she trusts me to be one. That means we make our choices the best we can at any given time, and we live with the consequences. That does not mean that we won't be tempted to stray, or to flirt, or whatever it is that people do. People are, of course, human, and for some, that means expressing affection toward someone other than their spouse once in a while. To me, "trust" means that we love each other, and will not do anything to hurt the other person, at least intentionally. But to us, that "trust" has a completely different meaning than it does for some people. It doesn't mean "I will hate you if you sleep with someone else". And that's something missing here, in this discussion. The importance of context. While there is a general idea of what relationships and friendships should be...not everyone has the same ideas and feelings about those things.
I think people can be tempted to do things that are considered wrong for a multitude of reasons, so there's nothing wrong with guarding your emotions, or with being cautious, as long as that doesn't detract from yours or others lives.
Question. Is your sister employed by the company? Because if she's not, it would seem foolish to expect her to show up for this project.
How'd they even find out? Wouldn't it have been smarter just not to tell people you have certain rock star's numbers on your phone to begin with?
Or...not to keep personal information like that on your phone?
Or to put a password on your phone?
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