While I've loved Steve in all time periods, MCU included, I do blame Whedon for a lot of what you're saying, here. The man seemed bound and determined to write Millar's version of Cap, which is never a good idea for anybody. Where I hiring a script writer to write a Captain America script I'd hand them Waid, Gruenwald, and Englehart and, of course, the original Kirby and Simon work for inspiration, and avoid anything from 2001 onward (except for maybe Waid's Man Out of Time and his current run). Rieber and Austen, just no. Brubaker cared more about Bucky than he did Steve (and I will resent Brubaker for this until the end of my days). Remender was... okay. And the less said about Spencer the better.
The problem is that Whedon is dead set on the more modern stuff, which compared to the older stuff, is crap.
Mark Millar, patron saint of toxic masculinity.