Okay...here's a long 'un. But it's good...and quite insane.
(The narration boxes of a 2 page fight between Batman vs. Owlman & Superman vs. Ultraman)
"What ensued in the next fifteen minutes of that ill-fated voyage will go down in the annals of metahuman conflict as the ultimate mamma jamma of super-battles. Picture it...while hundreds of passengers ran for cover, these giants - no, these titans waged war as the very cosmos cried out in defiance around them.
With lightning speed, Batman and Owlman traded blows using amazing contraptions of equally matched yet diametrically opposed ingenuity. Batarang versus Owlrang. Batrope versus Owlrope. Bat-sneer versus Owl-grimace! (You might think that bats and owls aren't diametrically opposed, but in nature they really hate each other...it's in books.)
Below, while Deathstroke peppered both decks and his strange doppleganger with handfuls of micro-missiles, Superwoman set about the arduous task of dissecting that same lip-flappin' mercenary using nothing more than a makeup mirror and a pair of pantyhose. For his part, the mysterious "Un-Deathstroke" bled profusely and cried in shame.
Then, an army of slightly confused purple-winged Thanagarians dropped from the sky, locked in battle with three dozen cybertronic Blackhawks in a beak-on-beak dance of death. Much blood was shed, and yeah, it was "hot."
Superman and Ultraman smote one another with thunderous smitings...is it "smitings" or "smotings"? That's a funny word, isn't it? "Smote"? Really doesn't sound like a word after a while...
Mogo stopped by just to say hi, and to get back the pyrenees Earth had borrowed 97 trillion years ago. If you don't ask, the Earth never remembers to give stuff back. But Mogo saw what was going on with the heroes and the anti-heroes, and just said he'd check in later "After my stories are done. It's cool. I don't need them until Tuesday."
Darkseid played chess with Ambush Bug. Ambush Bug won and accidentally destroyed the universe with the "Ultimate Clapper." Then Krypto woke up, happy to realize it had just been a terrible dream.
We would have actually shown all of this awesome battle to you, but no offense, your all too human minds would just melt and drip out through your nasal cavities, turned to jelly by the power of sheer, undiluted awesomeness."
Whew...lengthy...but fun to type.
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