Conan - Part 1

[ChewySoup]

Kind've funny to see so many reviewers begrudgingly admit the film delivers what it sets out to do.


http://www.liveforfilms.com/2011/08/16/conan-the-barbarian-review-of-the-jason-momoa-version/

"What Conan does do well is execute its set pieces and action sequences with few hiccups. The pacing is high octane and, as various sword fights, chases and killings ensue, the action remains at a surprisingly entertaining level, in fact, more so than a majority of Transformers 3. What’s more, the use of 3D is actually acceptable, which again surpasses dire expectation."


Here's (a glimpse at) a Miami New Times review that has been all over Twitter, yet is no longer found on the actual site. (Perhaps they weren't supposed to publish it early?)


http://www.past24hours.com/conan-the-barbarian-reboot-is-bloody-good-miami-new-times/32053

"A cinematic reboot for the patron saint of 98-pound weaklings, Conan the Barbarian is both truer to the vision of its character's creator, Robert E. Howard, and more satisfyingly pulpy than John Milius's 1982 movie incarnation."

I'm hyped! only day after tomorrow for anyone who'll be going to the midnight showing. Like myself

 

[rogue trooper]

A fairly positive review from Variety: http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117945829/

 

[terry78]

It's literally tearing them up inside to actually admit that it's a good interpretation.

 

[PunisherPoster]

This one rivals the Den of Geek review in terms of how positive it is- even going so far as to proclaim Momoa a better Conan than Arnold!

Again, if the film can convert these cynical fanboy sites, it may have a decent chance of being successful. Most of them have been 100% against this production from the beginning.

For example, Aint It Cool News promoted Stallone's Rambo relentlessly- praising it for the same kind of brutality in evidence here. Yet we're now three days away from the opening of a brand new Conan the Barbarian film- the first in 27 years- and there's not a single story about it on the site's main page.

As Stallone said at the end of Rambo III: "**** `em." t:


http://www.joblo.com/arrow/reviews.php?id=1448

"Now to say that my hopes for this update to be any damn good were low would be an understatement. The trailers did jack and **** for me, Momoa looked too soft to be Conan and the whole 3D angle put me off…cause the last thing I think of when I hear the name Conan is freaking 3D. So I rode on into this screening eager for the best, fearing the worst and came out of there with a big smile carved on my bruised and blood stained face. Yup, I was wrong about this new Conan…dead wrong.

What can I say other than... I LOVED IT! Conan is now one of my favorite summer movies of the year and it will most likely make my Top of 2011. Who knew?! Action driven, oozing of testosterone, sporting a F-U attitude and a unapologetic violent streak that resulted in stand out fight/action scenes, gore galore and Jason Momoa owning all by him tapping the Conan found in Robert E Howard's work."

 

[PunisherPoster]

Most of the non-professional reviews that are popping up on Twitter have been positive. These won't help the film's overall rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but may provide an indication of how casual moviegoers will react. (I don't think anyone involved with this film really expected it live or die based on critical acclaim. LOL)


http://pleasedontstare.com/2011/08/16/pds1min-review_conan/

"Conan the Barbarian is a good movie that will satisfy moviegoers. It has to be one of the most solid, hard R-rated action movies of the last few years. Is it better than the 80′s version, in some areas yes, in others no. Memorable one liners that will be repeated for generations to come are woefully absent, but this film fleshes out young Conan a bit and thus makes him slightly more compelling once the transition to older Conan as played by Jason Momoa."


Here's a negative review that still manages to praise the film's action. Interestingly enough, it also ends with the author saying he'd like to see both Nispel and Momoa return for a sequel!

http://filmreboots.com/inman/conan2011.html

"Director Marcus Nispel does not disappoint with the action. For a film called Conan the Barbarian, it contains just the right amount of violence. Many scenes contain brutal battles, wounds, and swordfights. Some may call the violence excessive, but this is a barbarian movie.

This film shouldn’t be entirely forgotten, though. Marcus Nispel has proven that he would be a great director for a Conan film and Jason Momoa is Conan. I would be willing to give them another chance. Give them a solid script: one that shows us Conan the way he was meant to be: fighting battles, being the devilish rogue, and dominating the land as the man would be king by his own hand. I bet they could do it and knock it out of the park. Let’s call it Conan the Conqueror, and my ticket is already bought. I will be there opening night, excited, and ready to enter Hyboria, the land of high adventure."


And finally, one from what appears to be the Australian Sci Fi channel. It's another that points out the many flaws, while acknowledging it fulfills the intended goal.

http://www.scifitv.com.au/Blog/2011/08/conan-the-barbarian-there-will-be-blood

"Ultimately though, this is slaughterploitation at its finest. Gouts of blood, unmotivated boobs, and a bit of Momoa beefcake for the ladies dragged along unwillingly (as per Cimmerian custom).

Expect a Cimmerian warrior's bloody road to vengeance, but nothing more. For some, that's enough. For fans of Robert E. Howard's unstoppable creation, that's plenty."

 

[ChewySoup]

It's literally tearing them up inside to actually admit that it's a good interpretation.

I knew it would.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

I knew it would.

Ok, Madame ChewieSoup, we at the national union of predictors have some strict rules you must follow before you can earn your crystal balls...

Instead of coming forward with these predictions after the fact(like when you also said that unlike everyone else, you somehow knew Anakin Skywalker would be presented exactly like that in the prequels), how aboot laying down some predictions before the fact?

You are boasting of going into See Conan on midnight on thursday right? so, instead of coming in on Friday and saying 'Ah, I knew Conan would just be some smelly guy who is angry because he cannot get his clothes washed properly..'

how aboot laying down some of that predictive magic before thursday night?

 

[ChewySoup]

Ok, Madame ChewieSoup, we at the national union of predictors have some strict rules you must follow before you can earn your crystal balls...

That's "Sir" ChewieSoup, thank you very much.

Instead of coming forward with these predictions after the fact(like when you also said that unlike everyone else, you somehow knew Anakin Skywalker would be presented exactly like that in the prequels), how aboot laying down some predictions before the fact?

I never said I predicted how Anakin would be, I simply said he turned out the way I had imagined Anakin being as a character. - And fyi, I just joined the forums a few days ago so allot of my "predictions" are obvious going to be after the fact. - And in relation to Conan. It's the same thing (or seems to be) that happened with X-Men: First Class. People were "certain" it would be an epic flop. but when It turned out good, allot people didn't want to admit it. At least a great deal of people I spoke to. The same seems to be going on here. There was allot bash for the film, in regard to Jason Momoa, The Plot, Marcus Nispel. etcetera, etcetera. And it seem that some reviewers don't want to admit that the film may exceed their expectations.

You are boasting of going into See Conan on midnight on thursday right? so, instead of coming in on Friday and saying 'Ah, I knew Conan would just be some smelly guy who is angry because he cannot get his clothes washed properly..'

how aboot laying down some of that predictive magic before thursday night?

Very well - I predict that the film will be excellent. I believe it will exceed most if not all expectations. I think the story of the character of Conan will be more powerful then the original film. I think that Jason Momoa will be an epic Conan. I predict that the soundtrack will be one of the greatest things about the film, Tyler Bates is perfect for this type of movie (i.e. 300). I believe that the movie will be the start of a trilogy, meaning I also predict the movie will be successful at the box office. Now there you go.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Ok, Sir ChewieSoup(you will be upgraded to 'Madame' if your predictions come true)I hope you are right about the Box office, although I can unfortunately see this one bombing at the BO. I hope I am wrong because I want to see at least 3 Conan films(Mamoa is signed for 3), back in the day Oliver Stone wanted to make 12 with Arnie in the role, and we only got two. If they are good, hopefully Mamoa will become attached to the character much like Jackman and Wolverine, and we could get more than 3.

 

[ChewySoup]

Ok, I hope you are right about the Box office, although I can unfortunately see this one bombing at the BO. I hope I am wrong because I want to see at least 3 Conan films(Mamoa is signed for 3), back in the day Oliver Stone wanted to make 12 with Arnie in the role, and we only got two. If they are good, hopefully Mamoa will become attached to the character much like Jackman and Wolverine and we could get more than 3.

That's exactly what I'd love to see happen. A trilogy would be awesome, but expanding the character in the same way Wolverine has been would be epic

 

[TwilightPro101]

Digging the positive reviews at this point.

Can't wait to see this Friday!

 

[PunisherPoster]

http://www.dreadcentral.com/reviews/conan-barbarian-2011

"I went into Conan the Barbarian completely in the dark as to what to expect (Was it another sequel? Was it a reboot?) and found it to be an epic, balls-out action flick that is by far the most brutal and violent film of the entire summer. It has a decent story at its core, and while it isn't absolute perfection, I did find myself entertained throughout most of Conan the Barbarian, even if the flick does run about 15 minutes too long.

Just to give you an idea of how balls out brutal the action is- if you tried to make a drinking game out of just the movie's beheadings, you'd be drunk within the first 20 minutes and after the first hour, you'd probably be a sloshy heap of booze lying on the theater floor passed out cold with popcorn stuck to your face. If you're a lover of insane action and gritty violence (like myself), Conan should definitely keep your attention throughout its 112-minute running time.

It's been about 27 years since we've seen Conan on the big screen, and I can't think of a better reintroduction for the iconic character to new audiences than Nispel's Conan the Barbarian. The movie looks like a living Frank Frazetta painting brought to life by an incredibly talented group of actors and a gifted director at the helm that somehow managed to create one of the better straight-up action flicks of the year while still incorporating an engaging story that should no doubt prove entertaining to the masses."

 

[Wolvieboy17]

Aw man, Conan and Cowboys and Aliens both came out in Aus today. I don't know what to see tonight!!!!

 

[PunisherPoster]

http://www.ringsidereport.net/2011/08/17/conan-the-barbarian-review/

"Gory sword battles along with spectacular 3D effects help make the new Conan The Barbarian remake a great action flick for those craving for a lot of blood splattering and heads rolling.

With the beautiful landscapes and the 3D effects you really feel like you’re in the heart of the battlefields. The sickening sounds of a skull being crushed and the excess amount of blood flying all around makes the violence more impressive than most action movies. While it can be a little disgusting and violent for those that cannot stand too much graphic action, if you’re a fan of Conan you will leave more than satisfied with the carnage Conan raises.

Conan The Barbarian is a solid action adventure. Great to watch with a lot of friends that like to watch a lot of blood and a lot of deaths. Fun from start to finish."

 

[PunisherPoster]

http://www.digitaltrends.com/movies/conan-the-barbarian-review/

"So where does Marcus Nispel’s reboot of Conan the Barbarian stand?

Well, while it isn’t exactly a flawless victory, the big-screen reboot of Robert E. Howard’s famous barbarian manages to do exactly what it needs to: offer a compelling introduction to the main character for new audiences, while reassuring longtime fans that he’s still the sword-swinging, pec-flexing, blood-thirsty killer they came to see. In the end, though, the film spends so much time trying to win over both audiences that it occasionally feels a bit bipolar, which does a disservice to what’s otherwise an enjoyable film.

Still, the good far outweighs the bad when it comes to the return of the famous Cimmerian, and depending on what you go into the film expecting, you should be able to find a lot to like about Nispel’s take on Conan.

All things considered, Conan the Barbarian is a fun reintroduction to the character that manages to overcome the problems that plague so many other reboots. Momoa is not only a worthy successor to the Cimmerian’s throne, but there’s an argument to be made that he’s even better than his predecessor at bringing the vision of Conan’s creator to life on the big screen. The film isn’t free of flaws, however, and I can’t help hoping it does well at the box office, because it’s exactly the sort of film capable of spawning a sequel that’s even better than the original."


http://www.nowtoronto.com/movies/story.cfm?content=182286

"Conan The Barbarian offers almost everything you could want in a pure trash sword-and-sorcery flick: non-stop action, hardcore violence, epic sweep, gaudy villains, a grim sense of humour, some nudity and sex.

Along with the usual sword fights and punch-ups, director Marcus Nispel pulls off a good horse-and-carriage chase, a battle with sand demons vaguely reminiscent of the skeleton fight in Ray Harryhausen’s Jason And The Argonauts and an underground struggle with a tentacled horror. The 3-D enhances the highlights but otherwise adds little."

 

[PunisherPoster]

It looks like Harry Knowles finally has something to say about the film, via a series of tweets:

"Didn't hate it, but it has a long ways to go." "This is entertaining and non-offensive, but lacking."

He also advised another user to "Go for Momoa".

So even though he probably won't do more than damn it with faint praise, the fact that he's willing to concede it's entertaining (and recommend others to go see it) is pretty significant. Knowles is a HUGE fan of the Milius film and recently advised readers: "Your money is probably better served upon purchasing this Blu Ray than seeing an inevitably mere shadow later this month."

 

[Punisher_MAX]

so this will please the 300 audience

 

[PunisherPoster]

http://nerdbastards.com/2011/08/18/conan-the-barbarian-review/

"I’ll be honest, I hadn’t much faith in this movie when it was first announced; the trailers didn’t particularly excite me either. Prior to viewing, I was decidedly against favoring this reboot because I hold such a high regard to the original 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger version. Arnie’s Conan offered more than gratuitous nudity, tons of violence and oiled musclemen, it was a philosophical epic. It’s a film of great resonance and subtlety. This NEW Conan, directed by Marcus Nispel, does not even come close to matching the grandeur and significance of the original, but I don’t think it was ever meant to. What we have here is an alternative Conan. One that stands on it’s own context and one that is arguably truer to the original Robert E. Howard novels. Much to my surprise, it’s a pulpy piece of action/adventure goodness.

Momoa’s reinvented take on the character isn’t the only element of the film worth praising. It’s the ludicrous brutality that will erect your man, or womany nips with excitement. High impact violence at it’s finest. The action really is great though, it was well shot and had nice choreography. I’d like to also mention how much much I liked art direction- beautiful sceneries with bits of fantasy and dark tones. It looked like something out of a Frank Frazetta’s painting.

All in all this is a fantastic, fun movie. Blood, fast-paced action, swords , muscles, exposed *******- it’s all there. It doesn’t pretend to be anything else than what it is. Just as thrilling and fun as it is gory and violent.


http://news.bostonherald.com/entert...ore_brawn_than_brains/srvc=home&position=also

"At least Nispel understands the key appeal of author Robert E. Howard’s Cimmerian warrior: that every red-blooded boy yearns to wallow in someone else’s blood and guts and possess any number of half-naked slave girls.

But some of the action is fun, and Nispel, reportedly inspired by the great “Conan” book-cover artist Frank Frazetta., is especially good at conjuring up a brutish romanticism by combining CGI landscapes with actual cave and forest locations.

This “Conan” is set in a world as ruggedly handsome as Momoa’s scarred features. The actor isn’t quite up to delivering the film’s witless lines, and the finale is typically dragged out. But the fight scene with the CG “sand warriors” is pretty darn cool, and — by Crom! — this “Conan” isn’t half bad."

 

[PunisherPoster]

http://hitech-faq.com/conan-the-bar...faq+(HiTech-FAQ+Top+-+Your+Technology+Expert)

"I will just occur straight out and say I completely enjoyed this version regarding Conan The Barbarian. No, it’s not an Oscar competitor, of course not. No, there are no major surprises either, the whole thing is usually pretty straightforward. But it fulfilled every expectation I had from a movie called “Conan The Barbarian”.

Much like the different recent Robert E. Howard adaptation from exactly the same producers, 2009′s Solomon Kane, and perhaps even in addition, it’s a perfectly appear, effective piece of amusement, and compared to different films with similar aims, such as Prince Associated with Persia: The Sands Of Time period, The Scorpion King along with the Clash Of The Titans remake, it is much better.

Marcus Nispel has truly done a fantastic job directing the picture, and a strong good sense of adventure seeps by means of every frame. He also seems to cover homage to John Milius in an early scene where Conan as well as his father forge a new sword together, which echoes and looks akin to the opening scene with the 1982 film. The 3D (post-converted) looks good and works well in the film."

 

[rogue trooper]

http://hitech-faq.com/conan-the-bar...faq+(HiTech-FAQ+Top+-+Your+Technology+Expert)



Much like the different recent Robert E. Howard adaptation from exactly the same producers, 2009′s Solomon Kane, and perhaps even in addition, it’s a perfectly appear, effective piece of amusement, and compared to different films with similar aims, such as Prince Associated with Persia: The Sands Of Time period, The Scorpion King along with the Clash Of The Titans remake, it is much better.

...just what I wanted to hear!!

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

It looks like Harry Knowles finally has something to say about the film, via a series of tweets:

"Didn't hate it, but it has a long ways to go." "This is entertaining and non-offensive, but lacking."

He also advised another user to "Go for Momoa".

So even though he probably won't do more than damn it with faint praise, the fact that he's willing to concede it's entertaining (and recommend others to go see it) is pretty significant. Knowles is a HUGE fan of the Milius film and recently advised readers: "Your money is probably better served upon purchasing this Blu Ray than seeing an inevitably mere shadow later this month."

Here is his review, he actually goes more in depth than all of these other reviews, as he has more background knowledge of both the filmaker and the source material:

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/50850


Ok – so I saw CONAN THE BARBARIAN… the new one. And I’m not spitting mad, not OUTRAGED. In fact, this is a film that is so far away from the greatness of the original… but there were so many bad decisions made making this film, that well… You can tell that Nispel was involved heavily.



The score is frankly ****. Not so bad as to rip you out of the movie wholly upon it’s fault, but this score wasn’t helping the film, injecting the film with soul. Instead it just sort of lays there. The biggest problem is that there is so little of Howard here. The language and the sound of Howard is missing. It’s violent, there’s ****, but it isn’t serving a story that IS great. The dialogue is all 20 levels beneath the original, but I knew all that going in.



I’d read this script. Knew who was directing. Knowing that he misses the details, robs the film of atmosphere, instead concentrating upon big splash panels that scream epic, before settling for a run of medium and close-ups. As soon as the producers settled on Nispel, we all instantly knew what problems would likely arise. They’re all here.



BUT – there’s stuff that I liked about the film. I like Jason Momoa’s look. He has CONAN in him. That is absolutely evident onscreen. That’s amazing, because the dialogue is far from where it needs to be for this character. We need to see more variety to Conan, than what this story called for. The dialogue in this is more generic Barbarian speak, but Momoa has so much more in him than Nispel would know to get at. My dream? Oliver Stone, $110 million, and adapt BEYOND THE BLACK RIVER or my personal fave, THE TOWER OF THE ELEPHANT. If Ollie isn’t into it, let’s go with Walter Hill – who is working with Jason & Stallone right now. But the good news is, they have an actor that can absolutely be CONAN THE BARBARIAN. He looks good as the character, absolutely can swing the sword around, although Nispel cuts so quickly you never get a full long sequence to stand against Arnold’s – but you can see he has the talent to. The director just never gave us that moment.



Almost every character is wasted opportunity. Like Stephan Lang & Rose McGowan. They just don’t have much to do. Because this script is just weak. So while I like the actors and oddly I kinda did dig their weird look… But they’re not really saying or doing anything that has given me anything at all to care about. They look and act cool, but that’s not quite enough.



The film waddles out the gate with a MARCH OF THE BARBARIANS narration by Morgan Freeman – in one of the most perplexing and tonally WRONG choices that I’ve seen. I mean, the Barbarian Age just screams Morgan Freeman. I mean, it is never a bad thing to hear Morgan Freeman speak. In fact, it is quite pleasant, soothing even. What about CONAN THE BARBARIAN is soothing or pleasant? These are not the tones that needed to be struck up front. It was certainly an odd decision. I’ll give them that.



The opening 10-15 minutes are pretty damn cool, if you can get past Morgan, then it’s basically just a different version of essentially the same story from the first CONAN – minus 100% of the pain and suffering. Minus the sweeping natural landscape.



Momoa was asked to be savage and he is. But make no mistake about it, he’s absolutely got that roguish charm that Conan needs, it was on full display at tonight’s post film Q&A at the Alamo Drafthouse South.



The facts are – while a lot of the film choices annoyed me, this did LOOK like a CONAN movie should. I just don’t see why the producers of this film don’t understand that they have a potential LORD OF THE RINGS or 300 style success if they JUST ADAPT Robert E Howard properly… with a TALENTED filmmaker who is passionate. That understands not just the pretty aesthetics, the blood and savagery and the eroticism of the era… BUT THE PSYCHOLOGY of it. The LEGENDARY nature of it all.



Get someone like Mark Protosevich to write it. Then get someone that has a history of seriously great films. Stop hiring hacks to kick off what should be a franchise. This could be JAMES BOND… and Momoa can do it. There’s evidence here in the film, I just hope that the missteps of Nispel won’t doom the franchise.



If you treated this source material with the respect that Warner Bros did HARRY POTTER – we’d have movies to worship. I’m pretty sure they have the actor… let’s hope the film succeeds well enough for a second chance. And if they seize that chance, they do it right.



In some ways it reminds me of the first X-MEN film, where the parts that are right outshine the enormity of wrong. But there’s moments where Momoa looks like a Frazetta or a Ken Kelly. Other points where he seems to pop out of the pages of SAVAGE SWORD OF CONAN. As a CONAN geek I clutch to the aspects that resemble in an abstract way – what I want from a CONAN franchise. But man… it is really out there for you folks to decide now. The film was made cheap enough that if it has any kind of decent opening, it’ll be in good shape…



As a fan of this material though, I have seen worse. This in no way resembles the trauma I experienced during KULL THE CONQUEROR and the agonizing pain of Sorbo. Momoa deserves to be on the screen as the character. He won that kind of respect from me on screen and off tonight. But I don’t want this to be another Pierce Brosnan – where you have a guy that looks dead on awesome as the character, but then… after multiple attempts never got a chance to make a GREAT one. And at the end of the day that’s what I want. Another GREAT Conan film. This isn’t it. Not by a long shot, but there could be a great one.



Oh – the 3D in the film is pretty great looking I thought. So much of the film is in broad bright blue sky daylight that the dimensional play is clear, bright and cool. Wait for the “CHINATOWN” moment… abstract reference involving a nose.



So go in knowing you’re not getting anything near the awesome of Milius’ masterpiece… but it isn’t a bunch of silly ******** either. There’s no lack of respect for the character of CONAN. The character just isn’t fully realized in the script or by direction… but the basic performance is there. Momoa can do this. Give it a shot, it might surprise you.

 

[PunisherPoster]

It's a shame none of the best reviews (ie. Den of Geek; Joblo; Dread Central; etc.) are being counted by Rotten Tomatoes. These are the sites which most closely reflect the film's target audience, making their exclusion even more absurd.

Even worse, the Dread Central review was originally posted on RT, but has since been removed.

 

[rogue trooper]

^Indeed. Hopefully, come tomorrow, they'll be up there.


Now, again, usually these types of ultra-violent films, if they're not directed by Robert Rodriguez or Quentin Tarantino, then they're looked down upon by the mainstream critics, for some reason. So, I'm keeping my expectations for the eventual overall RT average relatively "healthy".

 

[Whiskey Tango]

The clip with the egg from awhile back already sold me on this movie. I just hope there's an alternate take where he goes up to Ron Perlman and is all like "man **** your egg"

 

[rogue trooper]

According to http://news.yahoo.com/conan-lead-summer-leftovers-weekend-182941208.html , "CTB" should lead the weekend with a $22 million opening.