Does it matter how many sexual partners your girlfriend/boyfriend has had before you?

[Marx]

I know, your welcome.

 

[knowsbleed]

In all seriousness, in my opinion, it matters a lot. I'm an extremely protective boyfriend. My girlfriend and I were both virgins when we met and we plan on getting married, that's how good our relationship is. However, she had a boyfriend before me and she let him touch her breasts. Something like that, which to most people, would be relatively small, really hurts me. I'm definitely the kind of guy who saves himself for his girl, and I expected her to do the same. The fact that she didn't even really like the guy, and wasn't thinking when she let him, makes me even more upset.

Why does it upset you so much? Because you were not the first person to do that to her? Or is the reason leaning more towards your fears that she might do that again in the future? When you say you are a an extremely protective boyfriend, and then you state that you're really upset about your girlfriend's breasts being fondled by her ex-boyfriend, it sounds like you're being a little possessive about something you had no control over due to the fact that you two weren't even together. At least she told you the truth (hopefully).

 

[Spider-Who?]

The issue of STD's is a seperate topic on it's own.

No its not. When in comes to having sex and the numbers of partners a person has had, STDs are a very important part of the topic. The more people you've slept with, the higher chance of catching something.

 

[Erzengel]

No its not. When in comes to having sex and the numbers of partners a person has had, STDs are a very important part of the topic. The more people you've slept with, the higher chance of catching something.

You have to take that sentence in context to my whole diatribe. The subject was acceptance or rejection of a bf/gf based on the number of sexual partners they had. Actually, I thought I covered it in the 2nd sentence.

 

[B.A. Baracus]

I'm bored of seeing the same old threads each day on the hype, there used to be some really interesting discussions going on (i'm not saying there are none now, just less) so i went looking for stuff that interested me rather than trolling and opening loads of new threads.

 

[Visceral]

Openess and honesty are important to me.

It would matter if she held something back from me. Not knowing might become a problem in the future. Tho it would not matter to me, I doubt I would ever really be surprised.

 

[kane9321]

hell yes it matters...ALOT

 

[Yurka]

If its over 10 then I'm out. Every girlfriend I've ever had have had under 8, I've been dating my college girlfriend for 4 years now. The idea of over 50, let alone 20 is just disgusting to me. No offense to anyone here.

 

[knowsbleed]

You people who say it matters... why exactly does it matter to you?

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Nobody likes being #45039 and you know it

 

[Anubis]

It's something you don't really want to know. So it's best not to ask.

 

[The Question]

I don't see why it should matter. A relationship, any kind of relationship, is about the connection that has grown between two people. Why should the sexual activity of each person befor they even met, or before their relationship reached that point, matter?

 

[knowsbleed]

I actually don't mind a woman who has had their fair share of sexual partners before me. If they have been with quite a few people and they choose to stay with me, then I must be doing something right.

 

[DorkyFresh]

haven't read anything in this thread yet, but it reminds of me Dante from Clerks...hehe

Spoiler

"How many d**** have you sucked??!!!"

 

[BillPardy]

In my experience usually the girl asks "Do you want to know?" and I usually respond with "Have you done anything with kids or animals?"
They reply "Ew! NO!"
"Then who cares."

 

[BillPardy]

haven't read anything in this thread yet, but it reminds of me Dante from Clerks...hehe

Spoiler

"How many d**** have you sucked??!!!"

I thought Chasing Amy personally.

 

[chaseter]

I would say more than 10 is pretty off putting as well. I wouldn't mind 5 or 6 but if she says 25...gonna cut her loose. So, I would rather not know and I doubt I would ask in the first place.

 

[Erzengel]

I use to think the same way but as you get older, it doesn't matter for the most part. I mean if you are in your late 20s and you met an awesome girl, would you really dismiss her for stuff she did when she was in college. And yeah it's like Chasing Amy.

 

[The Question]

I would say more than 10 is pretty off putting as well. I wouldn't mind 5 or 6 but if she says 25...gonna cut her loose. So, I would rather not know and I doubt I would ask in the first place.

Why?

 

[Lasirius]

I recently dated this guy who for some reason decided to tell me how many partners he has had. According to him, he has had 36 and he just turned 19. At the time, I guess it didn't matter to me because I liked him but I was unable to sleep with him, most probably because of that.

 

[katie_girl09]

Why?

If someone has had a ton of sexual partners, it could say something about what type of person they are. The "I'm easy to get into bed" type of person. Not necessarily, mind you. But I think that's what most think of. And nobody wants to be with someone who has that kind of stigma attached to them.

Honestly, if it doesn't matter to you, that's fine. But don't act like you don't understand where those who do care are coming from. It seems quite obvious to me.

 

[SPider-T0rch]

It would more or less matter to me. On one hand, I understand that my girlfriend's past sexual experiences shouldn't affect my relationship/sex life with her but on the other hand, I wouldn't be able to shake out the image in my head of someone else being better at pleasing my girlfriend. The fear of STDs also seems like a very good reason to care about your partner's past sexual encounters. So my girlfriend's sexual past would affect my ego and my fear of STDs

 

[terry78]

So long as it's not like throwing a bratwurst down a hallway, I'm fine. Every dude on Earth is sloppy seconds unless he just happens to get a virginal one, and even then, it won't be all it's cracked up to be.

 

[Kelly]

I've never looked at sex as a casual thing, to have with whomever, and then move on.... so yeah, a lot of sexual partners before me would raise red flags...

 

[The Question]

If someone has had a ton of sexual partners, it could say something about what type of person they are. The "I'm easy to get into bed" type of person. Not necessarily, mind you. But I think that's what most think of. And nobody wants to be with someone who has that kind of stigma attached to them.

Why? As long as they'e not unfaithful, why would that matter?

Honestly, if it doesn't matter to you, that's fine. But don't act like you don't understand where those who do care are coming from. It seems quite obvious to me.

Well, I don't entirely understand. I understand that this line of thinking is common, but I don't completely understand why it's so common and why an individual would perscribe to it. I would think a certain amount of prudishness is involved, as a result from western society's somewhat puritanical views on sex, but everyone's motivations are different and I can't be sure until I ask, especially over the internet.