Family/Friends who is paying for dinner?

[Spidey-Bat]

Hmm... My wife and I invited a few family members and friends to a Hibachi dinner. I was prepared to pay for her parents and mine. But we had a couple other mutual friends and couple that went with us.

Did you and/or your wife invite them? If so, it's rude to invite someone to dinner and make them pay. However, it's also rude to not even offer to pay for some of the bill. Saying "Oh you can afford" is incredibly rude and they have no right to say that since they probably don't know what you spend your money on.

 

[Erzengel]

I'd like to add that it was also very rude.

 

[SuBe]

I'm never taking SuBe out anywhere.

Just don't expect me to pay, and we cool.

 

[JStorm]

I've been invited to go out, tonight, with over fifteen people - families with kids, etc. My best friend invited Liza, the kid, and I.

No way, shape, or form do I think, or have thought "Joe is going to pay."

Maturely, I would have a talk with these friends. If they are "friends," then the conversation should go accordingly. A clear indication that said persons are not as "good" of friend as you thought - he or she jumps to conclusions, defends him or herself, and just flat out does not have a bias, logical thought - in other words, doesn't understand and apologize with "next time we should be more clear to one another."

 

[Harlekin]

I'm not surprised your friends thought you were going to pay. You invited them and was obviously paying for a part of the group. They should've offered to pick up their part of the tab though.

 

[JStorm]

I'm not surprised your friends thought you were going to pay. You invited them and was obviously paying for a part of the group. They should've offered to pick up their part of the tab though.

True.

But the idea behind "we divided up the check" indicated, at least to me, that he tried to allude to 'hey guys. . I'm . . ah. . paying for my family, not you."

 

[JRPJCDJC]

You kind of invaded their space and controlled where they went so you kinda do have to pay if they say so. Think of it like this - you basically treated them like prostitutes without the sex. At least you were in charge.

 

[Addendum]

But if I have a couple tickets to a concert and I invite a friend, that doesn't mean that I'm obligated to buy a t-shirt they want or their food or drinks or other such things at the concert.

 

[hammy]

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

Actually, that's the old way of doing things, JC. I'm pretty sure if you consulted any etiquette guide it would say the person who does the inviting, pays. However, it seems that most people these days understand that "getting together" for dinner means they pay for themselves. I agree with those who said your friends were way rude.

 

[CaptainClown]

Insisting on someone comes to dinner with you means you pay, asking if they would want to hang out with the family means you can take care of yourself. At least that is how i see it.

 

[Knives122]

Hmmmmm, as soon as the friend said "Oh you can afford it" I would've said "Oh no I can't."

I would then proceed to call the waiter over and tell him that the only people I would not be paying for the friends.

They honestly should not have come to that parent dinner thing. You sir got swindled.

 

[Nirvana]

Usually if I'm invited out I ask to pay for both myself and the person who invited me. If they refuse, okay. Doesn't really bother me. I guess it could go either way.

 

[Metamorpho1977]

Hmm... My wife and I invited a few family members and friends to a Hibachi dinner. I was prepared to pay for her parents and mine. But we had a couple other mutual friends and couple that went with us. For some reason the waiter did not establish separate checks at the start.

I figured no big deal, we can square it away after eating. So the waiter comes back after we eat and asks how to divide it up. I mentioned to put both sets of parents on my check. Then when our friends were asked one of them said "Oh we were invited" and somewhat pointed in my direction to indicate I was paying. The other friends just went a long with it and everyone kept talking like it was nothing. Then I made a comment "Didn't know I was paying for everyone tonight". and one of them joked "Oh you can afford it."

Both sets of parents then offered to pay something as they felt it was an awkward moment, but I insisted we were treating them.

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

$115 :-/

it's proper etiquette that the one that does the inviting pays for dinner, now if your friends invited someone else, they pay for them. that was very improper the way they weasled their way into your bill too.

 

[Drakon]

Of course, it's something different if they didn't bring cash, but have their ATM card, and the place won't take the card...

 

[JRPJCDJC]

But if I have a couple tickets to a concert and I invite a friend, that doesn't mean that I'm obligated to buy a t-shirt they want or their food or drinks or other such things at the concert.

Well - if you invite me to a concert I better be getting alot more than some noise and a bunch of drunken fools I have no intrest in seeing to begin with.

 

[JRPJCDJC]

Hmm... My wife and I invited a few family members and friends to a Hibachi dinner. I was prepared to pay for her parents and mine. But we had a couple other mutual friends and couple that went with us. For some reason the waiter did not establish separate checks at the start.

I figured no big deal, we can square it away after eating. So the waiter comes back after we eat and asks how to divide it up. I mentioned to put both sets of parents on my check. Then when our friends were asked one of them said "Oh we were invited" and somewhat pointed in my direction to indicate I was paying. The other friends just went a long with it and everyone kept talking like it was nothing. Then I made a comment "Didn't know I was paying for everyone tonight". and one of them joked "Oh you can afford it."

Both sets of parents then offered to pay something as they felt it was an awkward moment, but I insisted we were treating them.

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

$115 :-/

You paid $115 for a meal.


BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sorry dude - don't ya' just hate life?

 

[Drakon]

I doubt he'd invite you to Megadeth when you're listening to "All eyez on me"

 

[AndThePickles]

Hmm... My wife and I invited a few family members and friends to a Hibachi dinner. I was prepared to pay for her parents and mine. But we had a couple other mutual friends and couple that went with us. For some reason the waiter did not establish separate checks at the start.

I figured no big deal, we can square it away after eating. So the waiter comes back after we eat and asks how to divide it up. I mentioned to put both sets of parents on my check. Then when our friends were asked one of them said "Oh we were invited" and somewhat pointed in my direction to indicate I was paying. The other friends just went a long with it and everyone kept talking like it was nothing. Then I made a comment "Didn't know I was paying for everyone tonight". and one of them joked "Oh you can afford it."

Both sets of parents then offered to pay something as they felt it was an awkward moment, but I insisted we were treating them.

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

$115 :-/

I think it was very rude of them to assume that you were paying for everyone. Unless, as November Rain mentioned, you specifically said you were taking everyone out to dinner, they should not have assumed you were covering them.

 

[The Dude]

Unless it's a date I insist that we get separate checks or at the very least break the check down to what you got and pay for yours. At least that's how I am, Even if someone says their treat I'll at least offer them some money for the bill or tip.

 

[Darthphere]

$115 dollars is nothing for 6 people (or more). Where the **** did you go?

 

[Drakon]

You paid $115 for a meal.


BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sorry dude - don't ya' just hate life?

That's nothing, back in June, we had a party of like, 12, and went to "Ninja" in NYC, and that cost like, $1350.

 

[Ugfugly]

Haha I'm so glad I don't have friends I don't have to worry about this....


wait what?

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Hmm... My wife and I invited a few family members and friends to a Hibachi dinner. I was prepared to pay for her parents and mine. But we had a couple other mutual friends and couple that went with us. For some reason the waiter did not establish separate checks at the start.

I figured no big deal, we can square it away after eating. So the waiter comes back after we eat and asks how to divide it up. I mentioned to put both sets of parents on my check. Then when our friends were asked one of them said "Oh we were invited" and somewhat pointed in my direction to indicate I was paying. The other friends just went a long with it and everyone kept talking like it was nothing. Then I made a comment "Didn't know I was paying for everyone tonight". and one of them joked "Oh you can afford it."

Both sets of parents then offered to pay something as they felt it was an awkward moment, but I insisted we were treating them.

So basically if you invite someone they automatically assume you are paying these days?

$115 :-/

Wow, only a $115 dollars for dinner for by my count 10 people, that's really not bad at all. It was wrong though for your friends to assume you were paying, however, offering to pay for certain people and not others could be a little confusing. Plus I don't understand why you'd invite your friends with you to a dinner with parents. Lots of things seem weird to me in this story.

 

[Addendum]

Well - if you invite me to a concert I better be getting alot more than some noise and a bunch of drunken fools I have no intrest in seeing to begin with.

If you have no interest in seeing the band to begin with, then why would you accept the invitation?

 

[amazingfantasy15]

If you have no interest in seeing the band to begin with, then why would you accept the invitation?

Yeah, reminds of a guy I used to work with, we'd get free tickets to Cubs games a lot in the summer. Whenever this guy got tickets to go to a game, he'd bring a book to read at the game. It always annoyed me because he could've just given the tickets to someone else that would actually watch the game. Don't accept invitations to something you know you won't like.