The opening with old timey Destro is decent, if a little over the top. Still, the actors are pretty good, and the stakes are set well enough.
The nanotech meeting is reminiscent of X-MEN, but Eccleston makes it work. I really liked the quiet, stoic reveal of Quaid's General Hawk.
The attack on the military convey is well done. It's just a great sequence, and when The Baroness shows up with her Cobra Viper-like Stormtroopers and starts kicking asss, it gets even better. If you don't enjoy watching that Cobra gunship wreak havoc, and the troopers taking the military apart, there's something wrong with your inner GI JOE fanboy. The first appearance of GI JOE is appropriate, thanks in large part to Snake Eyes just being awesome. Liked the bit with Scarlett and her magic bolt, too, and Heavy Duty makes a great entrance. His "Don't make me shoot a woman" didn't make me think "Wow, he missed her", it made me think "He's THAT good with THAT gun?".
The introduction to The Pit is great. Love the shots of training and underwater stuff as they're descending deeper into it. Just so over the top/out there, but with practical applications. One thing I like about this movie...despite the over the top elements, everything remains so casual. There's not a big fuss made over Scarlett's crossbow weapon, the technology, etc. It's all just "A day in the life of a Joe".
The attack on the Pit is also well done. There's a lot more violence in this movie than I thought there would be, which was a welcome sight.
I didn't have an issue with The Baroness and Storm Shadow weaponizing the nanomites, though I'm not exactly sure WHAT they were doing to them. Who would let a weapons manufacturer, even though they are his design, run around with live weapons of mass destruction anyway? The Paris chase sequence that follows is dynamic and a lot of fun, if a bit hard to swallow. The accelerator suits work, and the action is really well done.
The same goes for the final attack on the underwater MARS facility. I wanted to see Shipwreck show up for the underwater stuff, even for just a cameo. I also wanted to see Snowjob drop them off at MARS. That stuff just seems obvious, but...most of the sequence made up for it. Thought Snake Eyes walking on his daggers was pretty funny.
I disagree that there's anything wrong with Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow's final faceoff. The action parts of it are great, and it does feel fairly dangerous and brutal, as Snake Eyes just proceeds to methodically cut Storm Shadow to pieces. Their fight has been going on for a long time, and that comes through in the flashbacks.
Didn't mind Ripcord flying the Night Raven, and while it is a bit difficult to buy the timeframes involved, it works in terms of setting up a decent amount of tension and drama. It appears they cut out the shots of Ripcord skydiving before pulling his chute. Probably a good idea in the long run.
The fact that Zartan, after having a relatively meaningless role throughout the movie, ends up being the main cog in Cobra's grand plan, tickled me a bit.
As for the flashbacks. I suppose they're a bit awkward, but there are only one or two that really feel oddly placed. The others tend to make sense. Once the flashbacks BEGIN, they don't feel quite so jarring or cheesy.
The Doctor becoming The Commander is the best part of the movie that Snake Eyes isn't in. One element I liked was how much he was embracing the moment of his triumph, how much he'd prepared for it. He's like a kid at Christmas, barely able to contain his excitement. It was kind of pathetic, really. When Duke tracks them down, I was hoping to see Destro and Cobra escape in an escape pod of some sort (A Trubble Bubble?), but if they have a better idea for the sequel, I'm all for it. I don't really get an X-MEN vibe so much from Destro and the Commander being jailed.
And was that the USS Flagg at the end of the film? Nice.
Couple random musings:
-Humor isn't bad at all. Some of the lines are pretty funny.
-They worked the classic GI JOE lines into the film in a fairly clever manner.
-The little moments between Scarlett and Snake Eyes. There are these small, little bits throughout the film, though there are a few less then there were in the script. Things like silent acknowledgements when either one needs help, her waiting for him, putting her arm around him as they escape, etc. Ripcord and Scarlett angle ends up hardly worth worrying about. She kisses him once, but it's more of an affectionate, come back to me thing, not so much an "I love you so much" deal, so it's buyable.
-Why did they use "Boom Boom Pow"? I mean, really?
Actor and characterwise:
Duke
Channing Tatum is not, despite what people have been saying, utterly horrible as Duke. He has moments where he's almost perfect for the role. The problem is that he has also has moments every so often where you just want to smack him because he just not quite intense enough for that moment, and a few (thank God) where he just falls well short of what he needs to do. It's not that he's entirely bland, it's that he comes about THIS close to the proper level of emoting, and then backs off in mid sentence. I can see what he was going for, as an actor. He's trying to delineate between soldier Duke and social Duke, trying to make it apparent that Duke comes alive during battle and tense situations (which is what should have been his arc anyway). It doesn't work, though. He was probably miscast, because he doesn't have the vocal qualities and the inherent intensity one expects from a "Duke". I just didn't feel an ounce of "Duke" coming off him when he wasn't in battle. Even though I absolutely bought him as a young, modern soldier (I've met many, and this is what a lot of them are like, right down to the speech), it feels like watching Kevin Federline trying to play Captain America. By the end of the movie, I really just wished they hadn't cast someone with such goofy ass ears. In other words, yes, he's the worst part of the movie. I wouldn't bat an eye if they recast this role for the sequel, or if he simply was relegated to supporting cast and Flint came aboard.
Ripcord
He's annoying, but he's annoying in a good way. Relieving. I was hoping Wayans would play Ripcord a LITTLE more serious, but I could live with this.
There's not too much humor in the movie, and while Ripcord provides most of it, most of it works. His interactions with Scarlett are believeable without being pusy, and while Wayans isn't great, he brings a decent amount of energy without becoming a caricature. I liked his character well enough that his hero moment was satisfying. Why would there be an issue with him figuring out the homing beacon again?
Scarlett
There's a sort of schoolgirl-who-can-also-kick-your-ass thing going on here instead of the harder edge Scarlett usually had, and it actually works really, really well. Rachel Nichols is incredibly attractive and almost demure, but then her character turns out to be smart as a whip, and very capable, and it's just very satisfying. It's also kind of funny in an over the top way, because Scarlett runs around in battle armor, with her hair done and full makeup. She's not the cold, stuck up ***** she appeared to be in the script, which was a nice surprise. I think it worked.
McCullen/Destro
Christopher Eccelston is very good as McCullen, though it's a different version than we're used to. I thought his accent was fine. Thick, and ever present, but appropriate. I was hoping for a different voice from him after he was burned and became Destro, but it still works.
The Baroness
Sienna Miller surprised me. She was actually pretty good. Her Baroness felt less purely evil, and more like someone who gets off on what she's doing, like someone who is in the game for the thrill of it. Something of a fashionplate as well. I don't mind the conflict she has been given with the nanobots. At least it fits some of the themes of the franchise, and presents what could be an interesting and mildly compelling struggle for her down the road, as well as some interesting conflict/interaction with Destro in the future. There are romantic bits with Destro in the movie, and the stuff with Duke almost works, but not quite. Glad to see there's a reason she's a Baroness beyond just being one.
Snake Eyes
Ray Park did about as well as could have been done with a character who doesn't speak or react through interpretive dance. He was seamless as a martial artist, and had the right attitude as Snake Eyes, if that's possible. The mouth on the mask didn't need to be there, but it actually sort of helped you remember he was there a lot of the time. Snake Eyes tended to hang out in the shadows, and blended right into the background a lot of the time. It did give the impression that he was stoic, or at least pensive, and not just sitting there quietly. His flashback sequences were a little cheesy, but a whole lot of fun, and his conflict, revenge for the man who showed him kindness and a new path, could have been executed better, but still worked.
Storm Shadow
Decent performance from Byung Hung Lee, and a good counterpart to Snake Eyes. He was appropriately evil without being too mustache-twirling, more a cold detachment. I'd be surprised if he was dead. But he's definitely going to be angry now.
Heavy Duty
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is just sort of there. He doesn't have much to say, he's convincing when he's firing big weapons, but it's not an impressive performance on any level. Not that it's a bad one, like I said, he's just sort of there. I will say, though...when he yelled "Yo Joe!" he sounded like Tracy Morgan. Ugh.
Breaker
Saïd Taghmaoui was okay. He was kind of silly, but I think he was supposed to be the eccentric hacker and not much else. It worked well enough.
General Hawk
I'm puzzled at the reactions to this one. Dennis Quaid did not appear to me to be mailing it in at all. He was actually acting in this role. He slowed down his voice, he changed his mannerisms. He didn't go regular Dennis Quaid with this role, he actually created a character, and it worked most of the time. Hawk was a Good Old Boy of sorts with a measured military intensity. Why you all think he was over the top is beyond me. He was actually more measured and reserved than he usually is in his roles.
The Doctor/Cobra Commander
Heath Ledger Joker level stuff without the material to back it up. Joseph Gordon Levitt is fantastic in this movie. He's so immersed in this performance, and he's so good at it, and you can tell he's having fun with it, even with less than stellar dialogue. His "Doctor" voice reminded me of Alec Baldwin's "The Shadow" voice a bit, which isn't a bad thing. I really want to see what he does with a full film as Cobra Commander. I did notice that the one time he took his breathing apparatus off...he sounded a lot like the classic Cobra Commander, albeit less whiny. I think that's where the Chris Latta reference came in. No issues with the final Cobra Commander voice. Don't think it's too "Vader" at all. The few little nods to Cobra's namesake were nice to see. That final helmet isn't blue, and it isn't clear. It was silver. It very much resembles his silver facemask, except with eyeholes, and some smaller, snakelike breathing holes, which themselves almost blend into the metal. I thought it was pretty decent, actually. And as far as his character...he's cruel, he's sinister...he flat out DESIGNS Destro's imprisonment, knowing he will be using it, and turns the tables on him at the end in grand fashion. I would buy a DVD of just his Doctor/Commander performance, and I cannot wait to see what he does in a sequel.
Zartan
Arnold Vosloo was solid throughout. I think they tried to make him seem like a random grunt and surprise you with his importance, and had I not read the script, I would have been. He seemed like a decent threat, and mysterious, in a cheesy sort of way. The end was just...my friend I broke up laughing at yet another rendition of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" (why this song?). But it's actually a pretty clever concept, to have Cobra Commander's entire plan be one giant distraction for something MUCH bigger in scale and ambition.
A lot's been made about the cartoon nature of the tone. I think it was over the top more than it was a cartoon. Environments, equipment and atmospheres still seemed fairly realistic. There was a bit of hyperrealism, but it wasn't full on cartoonish.
Was the movie dumb? I don't think so. I think it was simple and to the point. The movie explained things, yes, but it did so in a fairly organic manner, and it didn't explain them three times like the third act of BATMAN BEGINS did. And it didn't rely on toilet humor, etc, in any fashion.
STORY
The story sort of is what it is. It's a GI JOE VS MARS/COBRA story. It's not deep, it's not particularly compelling even, but it does have really cool elements to it that make it a worthwhile tale. Flashbacks usually worked. It's a bit melodramatic, but not too much so.
The dialogue is average, but also appropriate for the scenarios, and while it's predictable to a point, it's a bit less cliche than I thought it would be. This didn't need to be a movie with metaphorical speeches and long, drawn out stuff. The simple, to the point exchanges worked in the context of the film.
The main issue with this story is the lack of character development. I think ROTF had better character development, actually, what with the scenes between Prime and the government, Prime and Sam, etc. There's none of that here. They focus on a team dynamic, but there isn't much in the way of changing or testing individual characters. GI JOE is a confident, independent organization. Even when they screw up, the government wants them to go back to their respective countries, it's sort of "You're kidding, right? We have work to do".
And while you care about the characters and the situations they're in, you don't really ever get to know them very well, or see them change in any real fashion. There needed to be a few more bits of character leaked out here and there, even expository bits, if that's what had to be done to save time. There's never a scene where the characters all just sit around and get to know each other, and that's kind of unfortunate.
The thing is, though...while I would have loved to see another 15-20 minutes of character development, what is in the movie is works. And given how much is going on, and how many characters there are, this would have almost had to have been a 2:30 movie to flesh out anything to the degree I'd be interested in.
The action is great. No complaints there.
I thought Sommers did a pretty good job directing this movie. Most of his actors were on point, and his shots, while not slavishly beautiful, did look good. The film flowed well, the pacing was decent, and the few disjointed flashbacks really weren't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things.
The effects were good, from the sets to the vehicles, to the pulse/laser effects. CGI had a few hiccups, but it wasn't bad. I'm really not sure where people are getting that from. I think a lot of people just aren't used ot seeing things move so fluidly, I.E the accelerator suits. There were a couple of rough spots in it to be sure, like when Baroness grabbed onto Storm Shadow's jetpack twice, and when they flew the jetpack from the Pit right into the Night Raven. No issues with Destro and his mask, though.
The CGI really gave things a grandiose sense more than anything else. You could tell some things were fake just because of their over the top nature, but it all still looked pretty realistic. Underwater scenes were a bit bright and clear, but I think that's a tradeoff you make if you want to see things. I thought all the elements interacted with their environments well enough.
Overall this movie is an entertaining one, with a few really good moments. It never really reaches the point of greatness in any sequence, but it's consistent, at least, and not all over the place in tone. It celebrates some of the basics of GI JOE even as it reinvents elements of them. It's a decent starting point, though, and can definitely be built on. It's a movie with adult element, but one that children could probably understand at least the basics of.
So I give it a 7/10. This isn't a 5 or 6, but it's not quite an 8, either. If it had any character development, or if Tatum was on his game, it would probably be an 8.
I was kind of disappointed in the execution of it here and there, but I'd read the script, so only kind of. Is there a better GI JOE movie that could have been made, that deals with political tensions, the nature of war and sacrifice, etc? Probably. We may get something along that vein in a sequel. Here's hoping. I think there's a lot to like about this movie, though, and this franchise, despite it's apparent flaws.
Well there aren't any other cobra guys with "SCARY" names. Never have been, never will. Your stuck with it.
