Inside The Poster's Studio

[wiegeabo]

Is it the list where you kill and sodomi...oh, wait, nah, that can't be it.

He puts everyone on that list.

 

[MaskedManJRK]

He puts everyone on that list.

...You're acting really calm about this.

 

[wiegeabo]

...You're acting really calm about this.

I'm just glad I'm not on the list for people he doesn't like.

 

[Green Lantern]

Oh.. be sure.. He likes you. He LIKE LIKES YOU.

 

[wiegeabo]

Oh.. be sure.. He likes you. He LIKE LIKES YOU.

...I may need to rethink my situation.

 

[Green Lantern]

I think I prefer being on that list of people he just barely tolerates

 

[Byrd Man]

Ladies and gentlemen, dudes and dudetts, welcome once again to Inside The Poster's Studio! But, before we get to the interview I'd like to introduce a special guest.

Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to the poster Supergirl, Carnac the Magnificent...

"Sim-Sim-Sala-Bim..."

"Welcome once again, O Great Sage... I hold in my hand these envelopes. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar since noon today in somewhere so horrible, so awful, none dareto go....EBJ's underwear drawer. Now, No one knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these questions having never seen them before."

"I need complete silence to do this..."

"Silence..."

"Complete silence...."

"The first envelope..."

Carnac holds it to his head and his eyes closed.

"Nowitzki....Slade Wilson....and......Asteroid-Man.."

"Nowitzki, Slade Wilson, and Asteroid-Man.."

Carnac opens the envelope and reads the piece of paper.

"Name a Dirk, a merc, and a jerk.."

"The second envelope..."

Carnac holds it to his head once again and concentrates.

"...Snowing brimstone....demons iceskating ...and Civil War ending in the Marvel RPG..."

"Snowing brimstone, demons iceskating and Civil War ending in the Marvel RPG."

"...Is there an echo in here?"

Carnace opens the second envelope and reads it aloud.

"Name three signs that hell has frozen over.."


"The third envelope."

Like the last two times, Carnac places the envelope on his forehead.

"Mount Baldy..."

"Mount Baldy..."

"That's what I said..."

Carnac opens the envelope and reads.

"How do you play piggyback with Lex Luthor?"

"The fourth envelope..."

Once again, Carnac places the white envelope on his face.

"The Dallas Cowboys Quarterback...NFL replay....and...Master Bruce."

"The Dalls Cowboys QB, NFL replay and Master Bruce."

"Do you need a hearing aid?"

Carnac opens the envelope and reads once again.

"Name a Romo, a slowmo and a homo..."

"The fifth envelope..."

"Thank god."

For a final time, Carnac places the envelope against his brow.

"Detective Chimp....Rocky....and...SuperFerret..."

"Detective Chimp, Rocky, and SuperFerret/"

"Note to self: Byrd is deaf..."

Carnac tears open the last envelope and reads aloud.

"Name a chimp, a champ, and a chump..."

************

Didn't like that? Well **** ya'll. I thought it was funny. I learned it from the best, Johnny Carson.

http://www.johnnycarson.com/carson/carnac_main.jsp

My interview with Feature will be up soon.​

 

[Catman_prb]

Thats the best interveiw ever...

 

[wiegeabo]

Johnny was the best.


Hell, he still is the best.

 

[SuperFerret]

I'm honored.

 

[Eddie Brock]

All that was null and voided by the fact that I don't wear underwear, hence no underwear drawer.

Is he kidding? You decide!

 

[Byrd Man]

You wear no underwear, which is why your underwear drawer is the perfect place. Nobody would think to look there.

 

[Eddie Brock]

Let's just say that I take Star Wars: Republic Commando to a whole new level.

 

[SuperFerret]

Let's just say that I take Star Wars: Republic Commando to a whole new level.

 

[Byrd Man]

"Racetracks, my drive way and EBJ's jeans..."

"Name three things that have skid marks all over them."

 

[SuperFerret]

"Racetracks, my drive way and EBJ's jeans..."

"Name three things that have skid marks all over them."

Dude, what the **** are you doing in your driveway?

 

[Byrd Man]

Dude, what the **** are you doing in your driveway?

"May a Russian weightlifter fondle your crotch."

 

[Eddie Brock]

Dude, what the **** are you doing in your driveway?

Let's just say it involved:

A bushel of apples
A Siamese cat
And a one-eyed hooker named Linda

And leave it at that.

 

[SuperFerret]

Let's just say it involved:

A bushel of apples
A Siamese cat
And a one-eyed hooker named Linda

And leave it at that.

That's got to be illegal in like, fifty-seven states.

 

[Eddie Brock]

That's got to be illegal in like, fifty-seven states.

Fifty-eight, actually.

West Dakota recently passed a law against it.

 

[Byrd Man]

Lind has two eyes, *******s!

 

[SuperFerret]

Fifty-eight, actually.

West Dakota recently passed a law against it.

Damn the Dakotas... why are there so many?

 

[Eddie Brock]

Damn the Dakotas... why are there so many?

I don't know. But you better not let the government of South-by-Southwest Dakota hear you talking like that.

I can't say anymore. They're listening!

 

[SuperFerret]

I don't know. But you better not let the government of South-by-Southwest Dakota hear you talking like that.

I can't say anymore. They're listening!

Screw SxSW Dakota! I hate them! I hate all the Dakotas!

 

[Green Lantern]

Hey now, no making fun of my damn Dakotas you b**ches