Into the Spider-Lounge

[KRYPTON INC.]

I want to see Aquaman, and I want to see Spiderverse, but the only theatre near me is at the mall. And it's 3 days until Christmas. So, I need you to review Aquaman using this scale I've just constructed: on a scale of 1 to 10, how worth it is it to make the effort, even if it means I might get thrown through a plate glass window for standing too close to a Hickory Farms gift basket someone had their eyes on?

Let me put on a Nazi Officer's uniform and think about that PC...

Well...

Hmm...

I must factor in that I'm pretty sure you've been thrown through a plate glass window before.

Hmm...


I think it's for sure worth going out and catching a matinee showing. It is cliche AF but... I think it still works despite that and it delivers on being a whiz bang type super hero spectacle.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

@KRYPTON INC. HIT ME BABY!

So... You want me to... BREAK OUT the hits?

Spoiler

 

[Reek]

it's getting all sorts of stupid in here tonight folks.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Let me put on a Nazi Officer's uniform and think about that PC...

Well...

Hmm...

I must factor in that I'm pretty sure you've been thrown through a plate glass window before.

Hmm...


I think it's for sure worth going out and catching a matinee showing. It is cliche AF but... I think it still works despite that and it delivers on being a whiz bang type super hero spectacle.

Well, riddle me this then: is it better or worse than the first Thor movie? This will be the baseline for my calibrations. They seem similar enough.

 

[Perfect Cell]

...did someone say Rush?

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

...did someone say Rush?

****ing Canadians...

Oh and Ed.

Ed freaking worships RUSH.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Well, riddle me this then: is it better or worse than the first Thor movie? This will be the baseline for my calibrations. They seem similar enough.

I think it's better than the first THOR by quite a bit... And that's saying something in that I have a soft spot for the first THOR. But this outdoes the first Hemsworth movie in terms of action and scope and even production design and SFX. It's got tons of really well done set pieces. That it takes place so much in the underwater realm means I think it's delivering more on it's premise than the first Thor film too.

That said... It is missing anything approaching Tom's Loki in terms of the villain characters or the Thor/Loki/Odin trio to deliver some weighty dramatics. BUT... Wilson as Orm just... Works. It's not the greatest but he's pretty effective and the film does let you know that he's sincere in his belief's even if over all he's an aristocratic scumbag. You do get to understand why he is that way though, in my opinion. And I would say for sure Momoa is more than the equal of Hemsworth in the part. He's a ball of fun in the part that is entertaining to watch both as a badass and as a quipper.

 

[Reek]

technically, Canadians aren't "people"

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

it's getting all sorts of stupid in here tonight folks.

Indeed...

Spoiler

 

[Perfect Cell]

****ing Canadians...

Oh and Ed.

Ed freaking worships RUSH.

Everything about this GIF makes me happy.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Everything about this GIF makes me happy.

Getty's getting ready to "Roll Dem Bones".

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

I am filled with hatred fueled by jealousy.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Houston seems like a silly place.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Houston seems like a silly place.

So silly they used to have their own Hockey team. The Houston Aeros. And then two things happened.

1. No one knew who named them that or why. For that matter no one knew what an Aero was?

2. They remembered that they were a city in Texas and had no business having a hockey team.

 

[Reek]

Wild Thing Reeky Vaughn

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

F, Marry, Kill...

Major League

Bull Durham

Field Of Dreams

What say you Loungers?

 

[Marvolo]

F, Marry, Kill...

Major League

Bull Durham

Field Of Dreams

What say you Loungers?

**** Major League because it's all kinds of fun.

Kill Bull Durham because one of them has to die.

Marry Field of Dreams because it's like apple pie for the soul.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

**** Major League because it's all kinds of fun.

Kill Bull Durham because one of them has to die.

Marry Field of Dreams because it's like apple pie for the soul.

 

[Reek]

wait a god damn second. Bull Durham has the best pitching mound visit of all time.


.... ok fine Cell wins.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

wait a god damn second. Bull Durham has the best pitching mound visit of all time.


.... ok fine Cell wins.

"We need a live... Was it a live rooster? We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove."

 

[Perfect Cell]

What did I win? I didn't do anything. That's the best victory.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

What did I win? I didn't do anything. That's the best victory.

Like Taylor Swift's music.

 

[Reek]

i knew you were trouble when you walked in.

 

[Perfect Cell]

Also, my vote would be **** Bull Durham, marry Major League and kill Field of Dreams. My relationship with my father makes that movie kinda fall on deaf ears for me. And I always prefer a sports comedy to a sports drama.

 

[Reek]

ill tell you both another thing... im severely disappointed you didnt nominate me in all categories... it girl included. i should have you flayed living... I will summon Roose if I so choose to. But I will not... im to hurt... deeply hurt.