My girlfriend dumped me

[ShadowBoxing]

We've been going out the past couple of months and I've never been so happy Then this morning she CALLS ME to tell me she doesn't want to date anymore, that she isn't in the right place in her life for a relationship. Shes 24 and out of college now..I really don't see it. It was basically the old "its not you, its me(but really, its you)" heave ho.. She also said she just doesn't like me "that way" and that we can't be any more than friends..ever. Gee, I feel like Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer. You know, that information would have a lot more useful A FEW WEEKS AGO. As you all well know I'm very shy, I went through a big crush in H.S. and was harsly rejected and I had a difficult time getting over it. Am I overlysensitive? Perhaps, but 'tis the way I am. It was really hard for me to muster up the balls to be this open with this girl and pursue her, and for her to respond in kind and then a few weeks later be like "oh I didn't really feel that way" is ****ing cruel. What a psycho. I had to vent and well I don't have friends to go to and I don't think my family would understand.

*sniff* Our little Maxwell Smart is growing up

 

[cryptic name]

edit

 

[Master Chief]

Uh, I know you aren't looking for advice. But you shouldn't be with someone because you don't like being alone. You should be with someone because you want to be with them and not because you just want to be with somebody.

lol.

"Hay ya, yer hot, I wanna be with you k? Let's go on a date. K. And cuddle and stuff. I hate being alone, k? K? K? K? K? Yes. lol. k."

 

[Hyper Venom]

Uh, I know you aren't looking for advice. But you shouldn't be with someone because you don't like being alone. You should be with someone because you want to be with them specifically and not because you just want to be with somebody.

Couldn't agree more.

MS, let me ask you a question: Were you with this girl because you really like her, or because having a girlfriend seemed to validate you in some way? You say she's your first girlfriend, and I used to feel the same way back when I was younger (younger than you are, about 17) and was in my first serious relationship. Could it be that you just liked being able to say you had a girlfriend? What I think you need is a girl who you genuinely like and who genuinely likes you, and that should have no bearing on how you feel about yourself. Sounds to me like this chick was just a token girlfriend. For all we know, maybe she broke up with you because she thinks that's all she was to you.

 

[Flash-er]

If this was your first gf, I think only a very small percentage of the population actually end up with that one. My first gf lasted 3 years and the only reason for that was because I wasn't a popular kid in high school and thought she'd be all I'd ever get. Stupid to think of that now, but it was how I felt at the time. now though, I have to be smart enough to know WHICH girls I shouldn't go out with, so it's a complete reversal. Just try to change your thinking a bit and you'll be much better off. Like I said before, that's what I'm having to do.

 

[InsaneMembrane]

If she is immature, it is better that you found out early, you're 19 you'll find someone new...

 

[Maxwell Smart]

MS, let me ask you a question: Were you with this girl because you really like her, or because having a girlfriend seemed to validate you in some way? You say she's your first girlfriend, and I used to feel the same way back when I was younger (younger than you are, about 17) and was in my first serious relationship. Could it be that you just liked being able to say you had a girlfriend? What I think you need is a girl who you genuinely like and who genuinely likes you, and that should have no bearing on how you feel about yourself. Sounds to me like this chick was just a token girlfriend. For all we know, maybe she broke up with you because she thinks that's all she was to you.

I don't care about being able to say I have one, its not to be cool.

I had a girlfriend just to have one I suppose, but its because I desire female company. Who would I be impressing anyway? I don't have much of a peer group.

 

[cryptic name]

I don't care about being able to say I have one, its not to be cool.

I had a girlfriend just to have one I suppose, but its because I desire female company. Who would I be impressing anyway? I don't have much of a peer group.

you're kind of a depressing guy, max. you should get off the computer and go do something, get out of the state you're in.

 

[Maxwell Smart]

you're kind of a depressing guy, max. you should get off the computer and go do something, get out of the state you're in.

I have nothing to do off the computer right now that I would find more entertaining than being on here. Its 11:55 at night, for one thing.

 

[C. Lee]

No one needs to try and impress peer groups....be yourself.

 

[Maxwell Smart]

No one needs to try and impress peer groups....be yourself.

Um, did you read what I wrote? I just said I don't care about impressing anyone. I just want to have a girlfriend because I do, I don't like being alone.

 

[C. Lee]

Um, did you read what I wrote? I just said I don't care about impressing anyone.

Yeah...I was agreeing with you.

I just want to have a girlfriend because I do, I don't like being alone.

Nothing wrong with that....I like girls too...that's why I'm married.

 

[Maxwell Smart]

Nothing wrong with that....I like girls too...that's why I'm married.

Yeah, kinda look forward to that. I suck at being single.

 

[C. Lee]

I'm on marriage #2....so don't expect perfection.

 

[Maxwell Smart]

Yeah...

More than anything I want someone whos compatible with me as far as attitudes, views, lifestyle etc. Thats why I'm unconcerned about looks. If I'm going to find someone odd enough to be my S.O., I can't be picky about what they happen to look like. You can't look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say...

 

[C. Lee]

Absolutely. Find someone that can be a friend.....that helps a relationship immensely. Don't confuse infatuation with love and respect.

 

[The Man Of 16]

Well at least you had girlfriend man, this is my last year of high school and Ive only made out with one chick the whole time at high school, and my best friend ended up stealing her from me.

 

[Dangerous]

We've been going out the past couple of months and I've never been so happy Then this morning she CALLS ME to tell me she doesn't want to date anymore, that she isn't in the right place in her life for a relationship. Shes 24 and out of college now..I really don't see it. It was basically the old "its not you, its me(but really, its you)" heave ho.. She also said she just doesn't like me "that way" and that we can't be any more than friends..ever. Gee, I feel like Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer. You know, that information would have a lot more useful A FEW WEEKS AGO. As you all well know I'm very shy, I went through a big crush in H.S. and was harsly rejected and I had a difficult time getting over it. Am I overlysensitive? Perhaps, but 'tis the way I am. It was really hard for me to muster up the balls to be this open with this girl and pursue her, and for her to respond in kind and then a few weeks later be like "oh I didn't really feel that way" is ****ing cruel. What a psycho. I had to vent and well I don't have friends to go to and I don't think my family would understand.

Dude sorry to hear about it and all, but it always amuses me when peeps here say 'as you all know I am....'.
No offence but I cannot recall having ever seen or read a single post of yours before now, and I'm on the hype every day.

 

[Maxwell Smart]

Dude sorry to hear about it and all, but it always amuses me when peeps here say 'as you all know I am....'.
No offence but I cannot recall having ever seen or read a single post of yours before now, and I'm on the hype every day.

LOL, good point. I've never seen you either.

 

[Erzengel]

I don't care about being able to say I have one, its not to be cool.

I had a girlfriend just to have one I suppose, but its because I desire female company. Who would I be impressing anyway? I don't have much of a peer group.

I can't speak for the female gender but as a man, I think I'd be a lil unnerved if I met a woman who was so desperate for male companionship that she would date anyone who was remotely nice to her or showed any interest in her whatsoever. It comes off as really needy and it could be a major turnoff.

 

[chosen1]

We've been going out the past couple of months and I've never been so happy Then this morning she CALLS ME to tell me she doesn't want to date anymore, that she isn't in the right place in her life for a relationship. Shes 24 and out of college now..I really don't see it. It was basically the old "its not you, its me(but really, its you)" heave ho.. She also said she just doesn't like me "that way" and that we can't be any more than friends..ever. Gee, I feel like Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer. You know, that information would have a lot more useful A FEW WEEKS AGO. As you all well know I'm very shy, I went through a big crush in H.S. and was harsly rejected and I had a difficult time getting over it. Am I overlysensitive? Perhaps, but 'tis the way I am. It was really hard for me to muster up the balls to be this open with this girl and pursue her, and for her to respond in kind and then a few weeks later be like "oh I didn't really feel that way" is ****ing cruel. What a psycho. I had to vent and well I don't have friends to go to and I don't think my family would understand.

hmmm....

remedy....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2Q7YRDL90E

 

[Daisy]

I can't speak for Daisy. But as for myself, while our experiences are not similar, I can emphathize with your situation.

It usually has nothing to do with looking for the negative as it is being realistic about things.

BINGO

 

[DOG LIPS]

Was his name-o.

 

[Daisy]

Daisy's great, I love slightly bitter chicks with common sense:

I'm not bitter...

 

[Erzengel]

I call BINGO!!!