Nice guys DO finish last

[Machx72]

Effin' double posts...

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Or she could just be telling him that she's a "virgin" so he (TF) would still respect her?

Possibly. Although girls tend to like to keep some air of purity about them, even if they do sleep around, and TF might not understand that public faces and private faces are two different things in regards to sex.

 

[Erzengel]

One of my friends back when she was 18-19, told one of her male friends who was attached at the time, that she lost his virginity. He lost respect for her, made her feel really sh'tty about it.

It was not til later that I found out he himself who was with a girl for like 2 years, wasn't getting any from her.

So it was pretty much jealousy and also because he liked her.

I think there's a good chance that TF would lose it if she did especially to a guy he deems unworthy of her. Maybe she suspects that, that's why she hasn't said anything.

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

There's nothing impure about having sex.


Anyway

I think there's a good chance that TF would lose it if she did especially to a guy he deems unworthy of her. Maybe she suspects that, that's why she hasn't said anything.

Yerp.
I saw the exact scenario play out with this ugly "nice guy" who ended up being our roadie and his "friend" who worked at the theater where I worked.
Pretty common I'd imagine.

 

[Duende Verde]

He's so possessed by the thought of her at this point, even calling her "goddess" and stuff, I question most of what he says.

Don't ever question the existence of great big Greek goddess Pussalia!

 

[Detective Flass]

I need to vent a little, and this is the first place I thought of.

Here’s my situation.

I’m 20 years old, and I am in deeply love with a girl. She’s beautiful, like… AMAZINGLY gorgeous… and she’s also my best friend in the whole world. I’ve loved her since 6th grade… back before I even knew what love was. She doesn’t know how I feel about her.

The problem is, she has a boyfriend, and he is also my friend.

He treats her like absolute garbage.
He calls her “trash”.
He won’t return her calls.
He’s always too busy to be with her.
He never makes time for her.
He has cheated on her numerous times (and we know this).
He has been demanding her to have sex with him since the first month they were dating, and she’s been saying no ever since (which is why he cheats).

They’ve been together for 3 ½ years.

She won’t dump him. She’s afraid of being alone. She was abused as a child, so the abuse from her boyfriend makes her feel “normal”, because being treated like garbage is the only thing she’s ever known since childhood. If she were to be treated like gold... it would be a very different experience for her, and it would almost feel strange, since it’s against everything she was treated like when she was little.

The three of us go to separate colleges… but she is transferring to my college next year.

That makes me happy, but at the same time, it makes me nervous that I won’t be able to hide my feelings for her any more.

She calls me every day, and every night… and we talk for roughly 3 hours a day. She talks to her boyfriend for about 10 minutes everyday (or some days not at all, because he doesn’t “feel like it”).

She and I have a strong connection. She means the world to me (although I’m not sure the feeling is mutual). I’ve spent the night at her house numerous times (without her boyfriend knowing), and I am always there for her when she is down (and just there, period).

Honestly, I love her.

I’d do anything for her. I wish she could know that I would treat her way better than this guy ever would. I would hold her, cherish her, kiss her, cuddle with her when she’s having a bad day… I would freakin’ love her until it made her sick. I would love her TOO MUCH... lol.

I wish she could know that she doesn’t have to be treated like garbage. I wish she could know that there is a guy right here who is head over heels for her.


She doesn’t know I feel this way. She doesn’t know that she would be treated like the queen she is if I was with her… and that I would put her high on her pedestal, and show off to the world that I’m the luckiest man in the universe for having such a gift from God.

But you see, the thing is… I can’t tell her these things.

She’s my best friend.

Two things could happen if I told her:

1.) She feels the same way, she dumps her boyfriend, and her and I live happily ever after.
2.) She DOESN’T feel the same way, and our friendship is strange forever, and possibly destroyed... because she now knows how I feel about her.

So, because I can’t tell her how I feel, she will remain to be treated like crap, and I will remain to have a heart that aches because I can’t be with her. Every time she calls me, and I see her name on my phone, my heart just ACHES at the fact that I have to listen to how this queen is being treated like garbage… and I can’t do a damn thing about it.

Nice guys finish last… and my life is a living hell because of it.


My question is… what would you do? Would you risk 8 years of friendship to tell her how you feel? Or would you keep it a secret forever and always be her best friend, without any consequences?

Help me.





EDIT: So I had to edit some stuff because some people aren't mature enough to read it seriously. They'd rather call me a creepy stalker, as opposed to just a normal guy who has feelings for a girl. For christ's sakes.

ummm grow some balls and step up.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

There's nothing impure about having sex.

And I agree. But Americans find the subject way to taboo for some odd reason.

 

[FunBobPants]

kick his ass?

 

[GoldenAgeHero]

And I agree. But Americans find the subject way to taboo for some odd reason.

if thats the case desperate houseiwves would've been cancelled.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

if thats the case desperate houseiwves would've been cancelled.

Those shows are a testament to that fact. Overseas people aren't as 'turned on' by what happens behind closed doors. Here we thinks it's really taboo, so we gossip endlessly about it and flaunt it in front of ourselves as something shocking and taboo. Overseas if you printed a story like "John Mayer has loud sex with Jessica Simpson in Hotel Room" (which was a recent gossip on TV) people would be like "so what", but over here we crave that stuff because it feeds our notions of sex being something more than what it is.

 

[Superman4ever]

Just tell her how you feel; that's exactly what I would do.

Y'know you're more than a nice guy you're more like a nice woman, it's been ****ing 8 years, tell her ALREADY. Do it NOW, so you don't ***** out!

GO!

 

[Detective Flass]

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Also, It's not "nice guys" that finish last. Let's cut the bologna. It's "unattractive guys" that finish last.

I don't buy this. I know so many guys, who by any standards are ugly as hell, f*** and sh** rolled into a handbasket and can get scores of chicks, all of them 10s or higher. And they aren't necessarily filthy rich either (not to say they are dirt poor, just adaquate).

 

[Erzengel]

I think more often times than not those are the exceptions SB.

I agree that charisma, intelligence and being personable can take you a long way. However, I've seen more the other side of the spectrum.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

I think more often times than not those are the exceptions SB.

I agree that charisma, intelligence and being personable can take you a long way. However, I've seen more the other side of the spectrum.

I completely disagree. Good looks are a complete illusion brought on by the latter traits. Presentation is everything, and that quality is brought on by charm, charisma, confidence and social graces. Physically attractive people probably have less trouble acquiring said characteristics, but if you were to find a common thread in males who are good with women "charm and confidence" not "good looks and money" would top the list.

 

[terry78]

I think what I've seen is that girls that are dating less than attractive guys do so because the dude has grown on them over time. Like you start a new job and meet someone that's not really all that hot, but over a couple months their personality starts to come out and you get comfy with them.

 

[Erzengel]

I completely disagree. Good looks are a complete illusion brought on by the latter traits. Presentation is everything, and that quality is brought on by charm, charisma, confidence and social graces. Physically attractive people probably have less trouble acquiring said characteristics, but if you were to find a common thread in males who are good with women "charm and confidence" not "good looks and money" would top the list.

Oh definitely.

However, I disagree with your previous statement of ugly guys getting chicks.

While I agree there are exceptions, I've just seen a lot more struggle with just an average looking girl, yet alone a "10".

 

[jaguarr]

I don't buy this. I know so many guys, who by any standards are ugly as hell, f*** and sh** rolled into a handbasket and can get scores of chicks, all of them 10s or higher. And they aren't necessarily filthy rich either (not to say they are dirt poor, just adaquate).

I don't think Wilhelm was limiting his statement to just good looking guys. There are a lot of other factors that go into what makes someone attractive to others and looks are only one of them. There is intelligence, humor, world perspective, sensitivity, interests and a kabillion other things that might make someone attractive to the opposite sex, even if they ain't so handsome.

jag

 

[Rambo, John J]

I don't think Wilhelm was limiting his statement to just good looking guys. There are a lot of other factors that go into what makes someone attractive to others and looks are only one of them. There is intelligence, humor, world perspective, sensitivity, interests and a kabillion other things that might make someone attractive to the opposite sex, even if they ain't so handsome.

jag

Luckily for me that's exactly right!

 

[Babs Gordon]

Exactly, I tried to make this point earlier. I think it's unappealing, boring guys that either brand themselves or get branded 'nice guys'. This is a blanket statement, but I think the bulk of the self-proclaimed 'nice guys' just use that as an excuse for their inability to attract a girl and keep her.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Exactly, I tried to make this point earlier. I think it's unappealing, boring guys that either brand themselves or get branded 'nice guys'. This is a blanket statement, but I think the bulk of the self-proclaimed 'nice guys' just use that as an excuse for their inability to attract a girl and keep her.

Paint me a cynic, but I think Jag and later November Rain painted a picture of the prototypical 'nice guy'. Obviously guys who are actually nice don't necessarily finish last, but those who tend to brand themselves nice guys are actually just opportunists who paint themselves as friends and hide behind their own anxieties when dealing with women.

To make another blanket statement, I think 'nice guys' tend to put pu**y on a pedestal, making getting a girl out to be something far harder than it actually is.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

I don't think Wilhelm was limiting his statement to just good looking guys. There are a lot of other factors that go into what makes someone attractive to others and looks are only one of them. There is intelligence, humor, world perspective, sensitivity, interests and a kabillion other things that might make someone attractive to the opposite sex, even if they ain't so handsome.

jag

I ain't never not expected Jag to not use no double negatives.

 

[Troy_Parker]

Dude... One word.... Or maybe two... GET A HOBBY

 

[jaguarr]

I ain't never not expected Jag to not use no double negatives.

Sorry. I felt like slumming, linguistically. I feel dirty, now.

jag

 

[jaguarr]

Paint me a cynic, but I think Jag and later November Rain painted a picture of the prototypical 'nice guy'. Obviously guys who are actually nice don't necessarily finish last, but those who tend to brand themselves nice guys are actually just opportunists who paint themselves as friends and hide behind their own anxieties when dealing with women.

To make another blanket statement, I think 'nice guys' tend to put pu**y on a pedestal, making getting a girl out to be something far harder than it actually is.

I agree with those sentiments for the most part. Most of the guys I've ever met who branded themselves "nice guys" were really co-dependent, insecure, afraid of rejection and unwilling to just come at a woman head on and take their chance regardless of the outcome. It's like they have too much invested in the whole thing, emotionally, or something. It's...just...a...chick. Either she'll like you or she won't. No big whoop.

jag