*Official* Relationship Advice Thread Strikes Back

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You know online dating is rough when even the "chubby" girls flashing their cleavage won't talk back to you.

Wanna know how to get one into bed?

Piece of cake. :hrt:

Seriously though. I went out once with a mate who'd been on a losing streak. I told him to aim low. He did. He was turned down every time. His ego's not been the same since.
 
Wanna know how to get one into bed?

Piece of cake. :hrt:

Seriously though. I went out once with a mate who'd been on a losing streak. I told him to aim low. He did. He was turned down every time. His ego's not been the same since.

That sucks. Was your mate ugly?
 
No, desperate... and it showed.

There's nothing more unattractive.
 
i'm telling you guys, there is no problem in life i slump buster can't solve. it's science.
 
I never understand why that's a turn off. Unless if it's really bad. Like...could you tell from afar he was desperate?

you don't? really? because you're out there looking for anyone, you don't care who, just as long as someone pays some attention to you

that's bad
 
you don't? really? because you're out there looking for anyone, you don't care who, just as long as someone pays some attention to you

that's bad

Nah, that what I call horny or having a awaken sex drive. Or a person who is popular.
 
Nah, that what I call horny or having a awaken sex drive. Or a person who is popular.

and that is terribly misguided...because the person on the other end of that wants to be looked at as a person, not "the end to your slump who won't call later on"
 
I never understand why that's a turn off. Unless if it's really bad. Like...could you tell from afar he was desperate?

Ok, so you're a girl, and you see this guy at the bar and every time the door opens he looks at who's coming in. Then you see him elbowing his mate at every girl/woman that walks past, eyes popping out of his head like f***ing Pluto or something. Then you see him do a lap of the bar, from one girl to the next.

Fancy a drink?

No.

Fancy a dance?

No!

Wanna go halves on a bastard?

*slap*

Then, after he's struck out for the twelth time, he comes over to you.

Does that make you feel special?

See how he barely even stops to talk to you? Almost moving away as he initiates some stupid conversation about the final episode of Battle Star? That's lack of confidence because he's already expecting you to say no.

No confidence is also unattractive.

So after you say no, he comes back to me, moaning about the lack of talent, then he gets drunk, then he goes home and watches some porn and possibly cries when he ejaculates.

And what do you do? You either get a guy who isn't like that, or maybe you're not interested in any and just want to talk to your friend Emma about water aerobics or something. Maybe you go home and think about your old gym teacher and put some new batteries in your rabbit.

Did you have a good night, Immortal?
 
Ok, so you're a girl, and you see this guy at the bar and every time the door opens he looks at who's coming in. Then you see him elbowing his mate at every girl/woman that walks past, eyes popping out of his head like f***ing Pluto or something. Then you see him do a lap of the bar, from one girl to the next.

Fancy a drink?

No.

Fancy a dance?

No!

Wanna go halves on a bastard?

*slap*

Then, after he's struck out for the twelth time, he comes over to you.

Does that make you feel special?

See how he barely even stops to talk to you? Almost moving away as he initiates some stupid conversation about the final episode of Battle Star? That's lack of confidence because he's already expecting you to say no.

No confidence is also unattractive.

So after you say no, he comes back to me, moaning about the lack of talent, then he gets drunk, then he goes home and watches some porn and possibly cries when he ejaculates.

And what do you do? You either get a guy who isn't like that, or maybe you're not interested in any and just want to talk to your friend Emma about water aerobics or something. Maybe you go home and think about your old gym teacher and put some new batteries in your rabbit.

Did you have a good night, Immortal?

Eggy wins the internet for today
 
Why would I be in a bar? Most places don't serve Labatt blue or any Canada beer. I rather drink at home. And I don't ask out women unless friends are bugging me to do so.:huh:
 
Why would I be in a bar? Most places don't serve Labatt blue or any Canada beer. I rather drink at home. And I don't ask out women unless friends are bugging me to do so.:huh:

I was explaining how desperate people are a turn-off. Next time I'll do it colour coded or maybe not try to explain at all.
 
How to post in a style that will irritate Hound:

[Immature thing that she did][Immature thing that I did in retaliation][A conclusion of reflection that perhaps it was all for the best that she did the immature thing in the first place so I don't have to know her]

*Pause for sympathy*

[Response using obligatory Carolina Panthers reference]
 
Just popping in to say - EGGY! How I've missed you! :hrt:
 
How to post in a style that will irritate Hound:

[Immature thing that she did][Immature thing that I did in retaliation][A conclusion of reflection that perhaps it was all for the best that she did the immature thing in the first place so I don't have to know her]

*Pause for sympathy*

[Response using obligatory Carolina Panthers reference]

Ha!
 
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