*Official* Relationship Advice Thread Strikes Back

[ComicChick]

aww man i was hoping everyone was gonna tell the stories of their first kisses, good and bad?

c'mon let's dish

 

[Erzengel]

When I was working at a video store, there were 2 girls I worked with that I really had strong feelings for. And through the course of working there, I liked one for a while, she left and then I grew close to the other. And I considered them some of my closest friends but I started liking them. Of course my love was unrequited and yes I told them both that I liked them. But it took me moving on and meeting other people, before I could be friends with them again.

I still talk to them years later. I even told one we should hang out. Strictly platonically. The other girl got married and her husband made my fiance's engagement ring. I always laugh what would have happened if I did get involve with her.

 

[Erzengel]

aww man i was hoping everyone was gonna tell the stories of their first kisses, good and bad?

c'mon let's dish

Her name was Jena and she was my first girlfriend. I think I was so eager we kissed in a car during a red light. Not the most romantic of places I know.

 

[ComicChick]

my first kiss was when i was in 7th grade. i was hanging out with a friend and we went over to her mom's best friend's house to watch the fight with her family and some friends of theirs. i didnt know any of them

well the son was our age and had a guy friend over. we ended up deciding to play spin the bottle, but we had no bottle. so we used his wrestling ring (yes he actually had a ring for his figures) and a pencil.

meh i can't remember which of the boys i kissed first

 

[Ghostvirus]

aww man i was hoping everyone was gonna tell the stories of their first kisses, good and bad?

c'mon let's dish

I'll just say this. Let the chloroform dry before you go kissing them otherwise...

 

[AndThePickles]

I can't remember my first kiss. I think it was likely in a spin the bottle game, too lol

 

[Anubis]

My first kiss was with some **** my brother hooked me up with. needless to say, she broke my heart.

 

[lixdexia]

she had milk breath

 

[Anubis]

SO that's why cows give you erections?

 

[lixdexia]

that's one reason...

 

[AndThePickles]

Gimme those teats!

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

aww man i was hoping everyone was gonna tell the stories of their first kisses, good and bad?

c'mon let's dish

When I worked at Toys 'R Us, I developed a crush on this girl that worked there. I never really made a move, but somehow she knew. She told me that she wanted to keep her work life and personal life separate, so she didn't want to date me. Well, she ended up becoming room mates with one of my best friends, and when I went over there one night to hang out, she said that she wanted to tell me something when I got over there. So I get there, and she pulls me aside and tells me that she's really sorry, but she's dating another guy from our work, and she felt horrible because she had told me that she didn't want to date me because we worked together, but now she's dating another guy at work. I was kinda just like "Um... okay???" cuz by that point I didn't really care.

But they eventually broke up, and her and I ended up going out to a bar one night, and one of the other room mates from the household eventually came by. While the room mate was there, the girl started sending me text messages telling me "if you don't get laid in 3 months, I will lay you myself so you're not a virgin anymore", then starts sending me more text messages saying "I really want to kiss you right now". So her and the room mate end up doing the 2 girls going to the bathroom together routine, and she comes back by herself. She starts getting close to me telling me how she wants to kiss me, so we end up making out until her friend comes back. They eventually went home the 2 of them, and the last time I heard from the girl was her telling me that she was sorry for making a fool of herself while she was drunk, etc... etc... Didn't hear from her for a few months until she got ahold of me on MySpace telling me she missed me, and how she probably has lost her opportunity, but she wanted a 2nd chance. So her and I ended up getting back together shortly afterwords, I visited her at her house (my friend was no longer room mates with her), and we went out to the bar... again... and we ended up making out again. At the bar, in the car on the ride home, outside of her house, etc... After we went out a 2nd time, this time to a movie, she again apologized to me afterwords for the way she acted at the bar when she was drunk, and I never really heard from her again after that.

 

[LOBO3315a]

My first kiss? I remember it was with a girl with long, dark hair that lived down the street from my cousin's. We were 10 years old sitting on a swing, facing each other, and she leaned forward and kissed me as we swung back and forth.

The butterflies I got in my stomach from that made the ones I usually got from sitting on a swing seem like gnats.....

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

I was maybe 12 or so I kissed a girl in the stairwell at school.

 

[Erzengel]

Oh s'. I forgot I was 6 at the time. Me and this other girl were "curious".

 

[knowsbleed]

Eh, I'm not reading any post above Erz's... but I'm assuming this is a "loss of virginity" story?

Nasty.

 

[Erzengel]

Don't judge me.

 

[JStorm]

****. I have no idea where to begin. Save for Erz, Lix and a few others. . . the back story will have to remain short: Ex is back and we are talking again, hung out, lunch date, slept in the same bed, etc, etc.


All right. . . to the meat of the subject: Ninja chess is ninja.

From point, we started rather smooth and fast. Spent Thanksgiving together. . . that's when the truth came out. Then we drove to my home town to see Ma, got back to Atlanta and spent the next 36 hours together. I had to work in ATL the next week and she offered to house me. I stayed there for four days – this is when I felt like things changed. . . a bit.

Distance is the best explanation I can give. She seemed as if it was time for me to go. . . and possibly so: fish and house guests began to stink after two days. Anyhow, I felt the distance and kept mine, not in a bad way, just gave her space. Sunday came, work was over, and it was time for me to go.

Now we are up to date. I was in ATL this past week for a few days, played my cards and only stayed one night. As soon as we got in the bed, she cuddled. . .QUICK!! Ok – cool – she missed me – I get it. No need to try anything; no need to push an issue; I just enjoyed her and fell asleep.

After work, I ask her if she wants to go out. . . she's all game. We get back to her apartment and she asks “so what's the plan?” I tell her the same: old friend is in town, would like her to meet him, etc, etc. She sits for a bit and says “I think I will stay in.” No worries – cool – do what you gotta. I protray that attitude and she says “plus I don't want to drive on an empty stomach.” All right. . . so let's get some food and hit the road. “Wake me up in 45 minutes,” she says. I sit for an hour, try and wake her, no go. I cover her up, kiss her bye, and leave.

The next morning she calls and asks how the night went. I tell her all ways fine, shennigans were had, etc, etc. “You should have drug me out,” she says. WTF – I'm not a mind reader!! I play off the fact that she was tired and a guys night out was not something she really wanted to see. “I made coffee if you want some,” was her retort. WTF x 1000!!!! Now I'm suppose to drive back to ATL for coffee with her? (I live about 45 minutes away). We go back and forth with a basic convo, etc, etc.

Today I had an application update on my BB. Some how, some way, it brought back an email from over two years ago between she and I. I laughed my ass off, mainly for the fact that we are talking again. The email was clearly flirtatious, but we were both in a relationship at the time. I text her – today – and said she had to read it. We went back and forth for a bit, then she just stopped. I asked her a question – a direct question – and she just stopped.


NINJA CHESS IS NINJA!!!

Side notes. . . then I'll open to suggestions: I've noticed her actions are louder than her words. She may not text back immediately, but she clearly cuddles, touches, love on me when I'm around. My brother pointed this out and said the same: “she still acts like a duck.” He encouraged me and said “your affirmation through verbal needs to succumb to her physical affirmations, just because she does not respond does not mean she is giving up, etc, etc.


To the point, I need a female here. . . WTH is the point of playing the text game? She likes me, I know. She cuddles, hugs, kisses, etc. But when it comes to day-to-day. . . I'm ****ing lost.

 

[Erzengel]

Doesn't look like there are any females around here JStorm.

It does seem like she has some general feelings for you and it seems you want a definite, "You're my gf." while she seems to be more like "We're dating and it's casual." Both of you don't seem to be on the same page. If she wants to keep it dating and casual for a while. You've been "together" only a month, maybe you should take things this slow.

But I hate to tell you this but sometimes being a mind reader would help.

 

[Eggyman]

Also, ninjas aren't very good at serious relationships.

 

[JStorm]

Doesn't look like there are any females around here JStorm.

It does seem like she has some general feelings for you and it seems you want a definite, "You're my gf." while she seems to be more like "We're dating and it's casual." Both of you don't seem to be on the same page. If she wants to keep it dating and casual for a while. You've been "together" only a month, maybe you should take things this slow.

But I hate to tell you this but sometimes being a mind reader would help.

My brother pointed this out as well. He encouraged me to forget about "titles" and just date her like we haven't missed a beat. He further went on to point out that her actions are clear and - sometimes - her text are vague, but I can figure them out.

Point One: After my friend left, I text her ans said I was in need of a babysitter. She responded with "if I didn't have meetings in the morning, I would come over." That is a clear and cut answer. So I retort with - "**** meetings. I just may be in your bed when you get home, in the fetal position." She came back with "Ha!"

Here's the thing - first response was clear; second response was vague. My brother pointed out that anything short of "no" was a welcome invitation to what I said about being in her bed. He stated I should have taken the opportunity and went over there. Had it not been for her early meetings, I would have.

Point Two: Back to the first post, where I stated she just stopped texting. Some personal issues have been going on - not relationship **** - so I text her "after all this ****, I feel like I should be there with you." She responded with "come watch the Eclipse with me." Long story short, I just got back from her place.

In retrospect, I guess I should take my brothers lead and your words, Erz. . . just treat it like a basic relationship. Sure reading her mind would help, but as long as she still acts like a duck, what's the point f wondering over a no text back. Like last night, she was all over me. If she didn't want things to keep going forward, I would not have been invited over and she would not have held hands, cuddled, hugged, etc.

Also, ninjas aren't very good at serious relationships.

Well played, sir.

 

[Spider-Who?]

After work, I ask her if she wants to go out. . . she's all game. We get back to her apartment and she asks “so what's the plan?” I tell her the same: old friend is in town, would like her to meet him, etc, etc. She sits for a bit and says “I think I will stay in.” No worries – cool – do what you gotta. I protray that attitude and she says “plus I don't want to drive on an empty stomach.” All right. . . so let's get some food and hit the road. “Wake me up in 45 minutes,” she says. I sit for an hour, try and wake her, no go. I cover her up, kiss her bye, and leave.

The problem here is, she wanted to go out with YOU. She did NOT want to be the third wheel so you could hang out with your buddy. She was disappointed with the “tease” of going on a date, and saying she’ll stay in and not waking up seems like her passive aggressive way of showing that. Hell, you probably could have playfully pushed the issue as to how much it’d mean to you if she went, to show that you weren’t going to treat her like a third wheel, etc, and she might have been a little more interested (the whole "cool, whatever" mentality needs to be balanced with expressions of an actual desire to be with her).

Point is, she gave you a clear sign here, and you missed it.

 

[JStorm]

The problem here is, she wanted to go out with YOU. She did NOT want to be the third wheel so you could hang out with your buddy. She was disappointed with the “tease” of going on a date, and saying she’ll stay in and not waking up seems like her passive aggressive way of showing that. Hell, you probably could have playfully pushed the issue as to how much it’d mean to you if she went, to show that you weren’t going to treat her like a third wheel, etc, and she might have been a little more interested (the whole "cool, whatever" mentality needs to be balanced with expressions of an actual desire to be with her).

Point is, she gave you a clear sign here, and you missed it.

That's a good point and probably want she meant when she told me I "should have drug her out." I'll be sure to remember this in the future. This brings up the insecurity issue my brother tends to notice with us. She quite possibly could have been insecure about the situation and just needed a little push - as she said - via me doing exactly what you stated: stressing the importance of being with her that night, her meeting my boy, etc, etc.


Good catch, mate.

 

[Spider-Who?]

Heh, yeah, I've made a career out of missing stuff like that. But I'm pro now.

I think you are clearly over thinking the texting issue. Texts are the absolute worst way of trying to advance a relationship and understand each other. For one, its just short sentences. There are no emotions. No personal point of reference. Two, it is, as you are having an issue with, easy to read a text, and not respond for a variety of reasons ranging from the purely innocent "i got carried away with something else" and "i was waiting to see if you texted again" to the other extreme "i hate you and don't want to talk". Naturally, it seems that the latter is not the case.

Don't waste your brain power on trying to find the meaning of the universe written via text message. It will never happen, and you'll just make your head explode. If a text conversation starts to turn into something where you are confused or want a more precise or immediate response, call her. That is the original purpose of phones, after all. Use it.

 

[Eggyman]

It's a good point. Everyone likes to feel special, and even if it isn't exactly the case within a certain situation, there's no harm giving the ego a little squeeze to make someone feel wanted. It's like a white lie with a dash more deception.