*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[BillyZaned]

I had a good night last night.... we drank a bottle of red wine, and just chilled.... got naked, made a little makeshift bed on the floor the family room... and did it... twice....

she really likes wine.... nice

 

[Hound55]

Worst pick-up lines by my own experience:

Is it hot in here or have I just got a massive erection?

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

I admire a girl who'll go out wearing that kind of thing in public knowing that all clothes look the same strewn all over my bedroom floor...

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

So apparently I need to cut out my wanna be internet pimping, because eventually trying to make emotional girls with no self confidence feel good about themselves over Facebook is gonna come back to bite me in the ass, I can feel it.

****, really? Is this what it's come to for me?

 

[Hobgoblin]

you don't lay the "Manic Depressive" line on her untill teh 3rd date my man.... everyone knows that... they even brought that up in Swingers....

I never saw Swingers.

 

[BillyZaned]

I never saw Swingers.

I dated this girl named Nikki for two weeks in college.... she had those gorious DS Lips... seriously, her face was like that of Jessica Alba.... she didn't have the body, but her face was gorgious... she had big boobs, and a butt that was too big... but, the face did it for me.... at first she was nice... but, on our second date, I saw the inside of her purse.... she had a pill container that litterlay had twenty pills in it for ONE DAY!! I didn't say or ask any questions... but I found out from a mutula friend that she had sevre bi-polor disorder and was addicted to pain pills....

I broke it off with her, stating "I like you as a friend, not as a GF", and she flipped at me... started making accustations of my sexuality, and started rumors that I had a small dick, even though she never saw it, lol.... she would then later text me saying "stop talking about me all the time", even though I never did... she was delusional....

crazy girls

 

[BillyZaned]

I later ran into her when my fiance was pregnant.... she worked at Target... we tried retunring a baby shower gift... she wouldn't do it... so I went to another traget, complained to the store manager about her, I guess she got fired...

she then started hanging with my younger sister... yeah, drama drama drama... luckily my sister saw her for the nut she was, and changed her cell number

 

[Erzengel]

I never saw Swingers.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I remember a thread, tried looking for it but I can't remember what it was called, but in there several posters stated how they were single by choice which I'm not judging but I thought I remember you being in that thread, have things changed for you?

 

[Anita18]

However on the other side, I know a girl who has Herpes and this is why I'm so happy not to be single because she was dating this guy and inevitably she has to come clean and tell him. But when she finally told him, he was like, oh yeah me too.

That reminds me of Rent, where the two gay guys hit it off within 10 seconds of meeting each other because they both admit they have AIDS right off the bat. And then the hetero couple have weeks and weeks of drama because they each don't want to tell the other they have AIDS.

but, on our second date, I saw the inside of her purse.... she had a pill container that litterlay had twenty pills in it for ONE DAY!! I didn't say or ask any questions... but I found out from a mutula friend that she had sevre bi-polor disorder and was addicted to pain pills....

My roommate in freshman year of college took a lot of pills, but it wasn't for medical reasons. It was all nutritional supplements like vitamins and fish oil and God knows what else. (I know, I snooped in her medicine cabinet once. ) She even had a list of which ones to take at which meal and yes, there were about 20 pills she took each day.

She claimed she "went to a nutritionist" and apparently he prescribed more pills for her than food. I'm not sure if that's less or more frightening than being addicted to prescriptions. She was very pretty and very smart (eventually became our school's valedictorian), but very regimented and a bit OCD.

 

[Hound55]

Worst pick-up lines by my own experience:

Is it hot in here or have I just got a massive erection?

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

I admire a girl who'll go out wearing that kind of thing in public knowing that all clothes look the same strewn all over my bedroom floor...

Although "Hi, I'm Matt, so how's everything going over here?" has proven to be roughly as ineffective...

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I had a date last month and it went well, until she asked why it took me 6 years to graduated from college. I told her I took a year off to "get my head on straight." She gave me a funny look but didnt say anything. I e-mailed her later telling her that I left school for a year because I'm manic depressive. I just didnt want her to think I was drinking every day or doing drugs or whatever.

Yeah.

She e-mailed back say that her last bf was also a manic depressive and she couldnt go through that again.

Question: How long into a relationship should you tell someone something like that? Some people told me that I needed to establish trust first. I thought she would by upset if I had kept something like that from her.

Where are you from?

Telling her over email probably wasn't the smartest thing. Also, do you have your condition under control? If you do then you don't need to reveal that so early. A lot of people leave college for a variety of reasons, on the date you could have just said you were having medical issues.

You should probably keep the follow up emails to first dates limited to "I had a great time last night". Leave the psychological conditions out.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

It's also not a great idea to reveal that soon after meeting someone. That's something you bring up later on, once you two are settled with each other and have been dating for a while- perhaps a couple of months. That way, she's been with you for a while and sees that you're (hopefully) not the same manic depressive her ex was.

 

[TheBlueRogue]

Just a copy and past from the confession thread...

Don't worry I wont kill myself or anything, its just I have no idea how to deal with it. I FINALLY meet someone whom I freaking adore have sooo much passion towards and she feels the same I mean holy crap!.t: But today day before we go on a date she tells me shes not really looking foward to a relationship because were is at in life she would prefer an open one.

I'm hurt now yeah and pissed off because ive got soo many things on my plate to deal that this was just the straw that broke the camels back.

 

[Erzengel]

When sorrows come - they come not single spies - but in battalions.

I mean it could be worse, you could have invested more time and effort into a relationship with her and it didn't worked out. I know what's it's liked clicking with someone and things didn't work out.

It happens. Best to just dust yourself off and move on to the next person. I know it sounds trite but maybe it is for the best. Maybe she's a crazy.

 

[BillyZaned]

Just a copy and past from the confession thread...

Don't worry I wont kill myself or anything, its just I have no idea how to deal with it. I FINALLY meet someone whom I freaking adore have sooo much passion towards and she feels the same I mean holy crap!.t: But today day before we go on a date she tells me shes not really looking foward to a relationship because were is at in life she would prefer an open one.

I'm hurt now yeah and pissed off because ive got soo many things on my plate to deal that this was just the straw that broke the camels back.

dude... been there before.... you have to play it off cool.

be like "I feel the same way, I don't want a relationship that's going to tie me down"....

then just take it slow... because if you go and act like you can't do that, she's gone, or put preasure on her, she's gone... play it cool

 

[omid17]

When sorrows come - they come not single spies - but in battalions.

I mean it could be worse, you could have invested more time and effort into a relationship with her and it didn't worked out. I know what's it's liked clicking with someone and things didn't work out.

It happens. Best to just dust yourself off and move on to the next person. I know it sounds trite but maybe it is for the best. Maybe she's a crazy.

 

[Anita18]

Just a copy and past from the confession thread...

Don't worry I wont kill myself or anything, its just I have no idea how to deal with it. I FINALLY meet someone whom I freaking adore have sooo much passion towards and she feels the same I mean holy crap!.t: But today day before we go on a date she tells me shes not really looking foward to a relationship because were is at in life she would prefer an open one.

I'm hurt now yeah and pissed off because ive got soo many things on my plate to deal that this was just the straw that broke the camels back.

Sounds kind of like this.

I agree with Billy Zaned not to put too much pressure on a potential relationship. If you enjoy being with her, then don't think too hard about it. Maybe something serious will develop, maybe not. But try to live in the moment.

Or if you know that you wouldn't be able to handle knowing she might leave in a moment's notice, then I agree with Erzengel. It's really up to you and what you want to get out of it.

 

[TheBlueRogue]

Yeah I've had experience with heartaches before and I am trying to play it off cool but it just hurts because of all the personal things im going through. THIS was a refreshing breath of air, made me forget about alot of things and actually kept me in in a great mood. When it comes down to it I'm just very hurt and for some reason took it very personally.

 

[Erzengel]

Thing is.....regardless of how wonderful a person is, they really shouldn't be "your salvation" from your problems. Yes we all have problems to varying degrees but dating someone shouldn't be an escape from said problems because it's not like they could make them go away.

 

[BillyZaned]

you can't say she's crazy... she might have alot going on in her life, and adding someone too it, in magnitude of a boyfriend, might be a dangerious thing.

But, if he respects that, and just continues seeing her, then there's a opening for a relationship down the line... maybe soon, maybe later

Point of example. This girl I met at a party, she was pretty, and funny. we got to talking and she was telling me about her crazy ex boyfreind, and how she's sick of relationships, and just wants to enjoy single life for awhile... while, at the time, I was open for a relationship, I understood where she was at... I got her number so we could hang out in the future..

two days later she called me, and wanted to see a movie with me... me did that and grabbed a bite to eat.... I put no preasure on her or anything

we did stuff together for the next couple months, untill we went out to diner together... we both had alot to drink, and she made a move at me, and I said "I really like you alot, but I don't want you to put yourself in a position that you don't want to be in"... she asked what I meant... and i told her about how she told me about her "ant-relationship stance she told me about when we met".. I told her that I'm not the type of guy who sleeps around anymore with friends because it adds to much un-needed stress....

she liked that I was open about it, and that I respected her... but she told me "you know, you seem like a different type of guy, one that I could date, and be in a relationship with, and it won't add any unwanted burdens that many of my past relationship brought with them".....

so, we slowly started "dating"... then, she asked me one day to meet her parents.... so I went with her, and she introduced me as her Boyfriend.... later that night I asked her if she considered us officialy together... and she asked "what do you think, or want"... I told her that I thought she's a great person, and would like to be in a relationship with her and be an item, but we both have to be onboard with it.... we both aggreed...

time went on... and she then told me how much she loved me..... 6 months later, she purposed to me...

we have been together for 5 year, and married now for almost a month

 

[TheBlueRogue]

UPDATE, so I found out why she dislikes relationships......seems like I might have a shot with this woman but I agree I will be cool about it. I won't do anything reckless.

 

[Anita18]

Thing is.....regardless of how wonderful a person is, they really shouldn't be "your salvation" from your problems. Yes we all have problems to varying degrees but dating someone shouldn't be an escape from said problems because it's not like they could make them go away.

Definitely agree. It took me a while to figure out, but you are responsible for your own happiness and self-esteem. It's not fair to put that pressure on someone else. Yes, they can support you and make your life more well-rounded, but you and you alone are responsible for your happiness.

And if just being around someone can make you happy, there's no need to put pressure on a potential serious relationship. A true friend can do that too.

I guess the thing is that when someone says they don't want anything serious right now, it has no reflection on you personally. Don't forget, the other person may have some baggage too.

 

[BillyZaned]

the thing is... unless she is telling you she wants to sleep around... I see what she is saying as a good sign.... she obviously wants a handle on her life right now, and she most likely has a good head on her shoulders....

she probably is baiting you a little bit.. seeing if your boyfriend material... she probably doesn't want to date a guy who is obssesed with getting into a relationship.... if you respect her wishes, it says alot about you as a person... plus, taking it slow never hurt anytone, and jumping into a relationship after one or two dates, most of the time, isn't good... you need to walk before you can run... you need to be friends before you can become an item... the best relationships and marriages happen when two people have a stronger bond then just sexual... you need that underlying aspect of friendship

 

[Erzengel]

Also, the whole "dating" process is a way to weed out people and kinda measure them up against your interests, what you look for in someone, etc. Take your time and get to know her, don't rush into anything and don't try and invest too much too soon. You kinda fell to pieces when she said she didn't want to get into a relationship and that's without even being on a date with her.

 

[TheBlueRogue]

you can't say she's crazy... she might have alot going on in her life, and adding someone too it, in magnitude of a boyfriend, might be a dangerious thing.

But, if he respects that, and just continues seeing her, then there's a opening for a relationship down the line... maybe soon, maybe later

Point of example. This girl I met at a party, she was pretty, and funny. we got to talking and she was telling me about her crazy ex boyfreind, and how she's sick of relationships, and just wants to enjoy single life for awhile... while, at the time, I was open for a relationship, I understood where she was at... I got her number so we could hang out in the future..

two days later she called me, and wanted to see a movie with me... me did that and grabbed a bite to eat.... I put no preasure on her or anything

we did stuff together for the next couple months, untill we went out to diner together... we both had alot to drink, and she made a move at me, and I said "I really like you alot, but I don't want you to put yourself in a position that you don't want to be in"... she asked what I meant... and i told her about how she told me about her "ant-relationship stance she told me about when we met".. I told her that I'm not the type of guy who sleeps around anymore with friends because it adds to much un-needed stress....

she liked that I was open about it, and that I respected her... but she told me "you know, you seem like a different type of guy, one that I could date, and be in a relationship with, and it won't add any unwanted burdens that many of my past relationship brought with them".....

so, we slowly started "dating"... then, she asked me one day to meet her parents.... so I went with her, and she introduced me as her Boyfriend.... later that night I asked her if she considered us officialy together... and she asked "what do you think, or want"... I told her that I thought she's a great person, and would like to be in a relationship with her and be an item, but we both have to be onboard with it.... we both aggreed...

time went on... and she then told me how much she loved me..... 6 months later, she purposed to me...

we have been together for 5 year, and married now for almost a month

You know what man thanks you really opened my eyes on this, I'll reflect and think on it. I think...I'm feeling better already

 

[BillyZaned]

You know what man thanks you really opened my eyes on this, I'll reflect and think on it. I think...I'm feeling better already

care too shed some light on why she doesn't feel a relationship is right at this time?