You know... the more I read these boards, the more I think studios should continue ignoring most of the fanbase opinions when making this kind of franchise.
Now, I don't want to offend anyone, but it's obvious to me that fanboys just can't help but care too much about irrelevant things. In this particular case, there's just too much complaints about designs (I can see why a fan would find this important, but most of them are going way over the top) and scientific logic (I can see why a sci-fi fan would find this important, but it's a freaking giant alien robots movie directed by Michael Bay, people), and not nearly enough complaints about the script, which, for me, is by far the biggest problem here.
So I decided to bump this thread and talk a little bit about the script. I know they're still working on it, but I'm guessing that first draft it's pretty much what we're going to get. I also know most of what I have to say has already been said, but please bare with me as I get this off my chest. Thank you.
Spoilers ahead, obviously:
*Let's see, there's the dialogue. It sucks. Most of it feels really forced, nothing really memorable, not to mention the self-conscious wink-wink nudge-nudge bone throwing (they say "more than meets the eye" like five times, for god's sake) etc. The best line in the draft is the but they wont feel any pain (or something to that effect) from Ironhide, but thats not nearly enough. Now for the good news: this can still be very much improved upon. Dialogue is without a doubt the only aspect where the script revisions can really make a difference, so in this case I havent lost hope. Yet.
*But then theres that thing called character development. The characters in this movie are just too much like the characters from most Hollywood movies weve seen in our lives. Its a pastiche of clichés, a plethora of everything-there-ever-was. You have the nerdy kid, whos in love with the hot cheerleader. You have the aforementioned cheerleader, wholl undoubtedly end up with the nerdy kid, but is currently dating the jerk jock. You have the jock, whichs a jerk. You have the soldier who just wants to go home to his wife and little girl (hes never seen her!). You have Government, Military and/or Science people, who act exactly like you would expect Government, Military and/or Science people to act in this kind of movie. No Alarms, No Surprises. And then you have the giant robots, which are mostly blanks except for Optimus and Bumblebee (and even those two are no Macbeths). And right here is where a 80s cartoon owns a big-budget live-action movie -- its just much more unusual and interesting (not to say cooler) to tell a story from the alien robots point of view. But they didnt have the balls to do it, did they. No they did not.
Now, how could script revisions improve upon these things? The answer, unfortunately, is they couldnt, and they wont. The human characters will remain derivative, and there will still be too much of them. Maybe the robots get a few more lines, but dont expect a complete turn of approach here. Its not happening. The Transformers will get a lot of screen time
in action scenes. Personality-wise, however, they will mostly remain lacking, when not completely devoid of.
*Ok, about the story (oh boy, this is going to be a long post):
The plot has just too much set-up -- the first act takes forever, and then its action scene after action scene, everybody running against time and etc. I understand this is probably going to be fixed, with the first appearance of Optimus Prime being pushed earlier, but it still leaves the problem of an unnecessary number of narrative lines (I can already feel the INDEPENDENCE DAY aftertaste), when focusing on an easily identifiable group of people usually makes for much more powerful results (WAR OF THE WORLDS, anyone?). All that crap with the military guys kicking Decepticon ass, for instance, is completely useless. It makes absolutely no sense from a cinematic standpoint (it takes a lot of screen time, deviating the movie from the main plot, and diminishes the Autobots importance), but I guess using a movie to make soldiers feel a little better about the crap their government makes them do is a valid goal, in a shameful and disgusting kind of way
But I digress. Lets talk about the story, shall we? Im not crazy about the search-for-lost-artifact premise, but I guess it could work in a straightforward action movie (hey, it worked on RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK). I just feel sorry for the lost potential. This could so easily be about the Decepticons ravaging Earths natural resources for fuel, which could give the movie at least a little relevance, with Megatron acting as a Bush-like figure -- as per Dennis Hoppers character in LAND OF THE DEAD. Alas, that movie was directed by George A. Romero, a master in mixing genre with social commentary, and this one is directed by Michael Bay, the guy who revealed the main twist of THE ISLAND in the freaking trailer. Also the guy who puts soldiers kicking giant robots asses is his movie just to make the real soldiers feel a little better about invading some foreign country without even knowing exactly why theyre doing it. Ok, ok, Ill stop; its just that this kind of fragrantly rightwing imperialistic mentality really pisses me off when applied to something that should (or at least could) be art.
Anyway, what we get is apparently a subtext-free roller coaster ride, which is not necessarily a bad thing, though bound to be forgettable, and impossible to be important (unless you count CGI improvements as an important part of cinematic history). I mean, it wouldnt be a bad thing, if the movie managed to elicit some sort of honest emotional response, but the script made me cringe every time it tried for pathos (Spike & Dads Kodak Moment, Soldier-guy talking about his little girl, the kiss at the end, etc). Ironically enough, the only parts that affected me were the ones where something bad happened to an Autobot. I couldnt care less about the humans in this movie, which goes to show underdeveloped robots are still better than clichéd humans. This could be different in the finished product, of course, but I doubt it.
*****
Now, there were a lot of ways to make this script much better. Im not talking about making Spike gay or anything that controversial. Im not even talking about the Comments Of The Social Kind I mentioned above (it would be naïve to expect anything anti-American in a Michael Bay movie). Im talking about simple things that could make the characters more interesting and different from what we usually get in this kind of movie. You know, challenging the audience, even if just a little bit, is never a bad thing.
Ok, so you have the loser protagonist. Thats actually a good idea, considering the target audience. But he has to be in love with The Hottest Chick In School? Imagine if, instead of a cheerleader-type girl, we had a bookworm, glasses-and-ponytail-type girl and he still didnt have the courage to declare himself to her. She could still be kind of hot. Not Megan Fox hot, but
I dont know, Natalie Portman hot, or Tora Birch hot (I understand a lot of people certainly find Natalie and/or Tora hotter than Megan, but Im talking stereotypes here). Or she could still be Megan Fox, but maybe the jock boyfriend is actually sympathetic, a good guy. He could even be a friend of the protagonist, which would certainly make the audience not so eager to root for romance. I dont know (Im not even thinking while making this up).
Also, portraying the government and military as incompetent would be certainly refreshing (it would be a no-brainer if I was making this movie). I would also cut their screen time to the bare minimum, as (IMO) this should be as much of a story about Spike and the Autobots as possible (and, of course, about Autobots x Decepticons, but that goes without saying). The main problem here is, this kind of Hollywood blockbuster always tries to have a little something for everybody, and that usually makes for lazy, bureaucratic, vapid writing. You must have romance. You must have a character whose sole purpose is to serve as comic relief. You must have a badass hero whose sole purpose is to kick ass while spouting hard-boiled lines. You have to show family bonds being affected by the conflict. You have to show the consequences of The Big Event affecting as many different people as possible. You have to show the VIPs (i.e. the Government, Military and/or Science people) discussing how-to-solve-the-problem in endless exposition scenes. These are not necessarily bad things in themselves (except for the exposition, thats always bad news), but when you try to squeeze every single one of them in one (1) movie, that usually leaves little room for, you know, a decent story.
And thats why I think TRANSFORMERS is going to suck. I mean, **** the designs, I want something to care about.
Ok, Im done. Thanks again.
Yep, they're not in denial.
whatever
. No?
...man, I need to stay away from this thread...its giving me chest pains.
