Omegle?

[SuperFerret]

Stranger: hello hello
You: Hello.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

But sometimes it sucks.

And sometimes it's awesome.

Stranger: nerdfighter?
You: Laugh with me.
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
You: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
You: TEE HEE!!
Stranger: hahahahahahahahahahaha
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: ha
Stranger: hahahaha
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Stranger: hahahahaha
Stranger: that actually made me laugh
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Stranger: thank you for that
You: You're welcome.
You have disconnected.

 

[AndThePickles]

Koreans are mean

Stranger: hi
You: hi!
Stranger: zz
You: do you like pie?
Stranger: where are you from?
Stranger: i'm from korea
Stranger: ****
Stranger: What the hell
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Stranger: heey
Stranger: m or f?
You: Want to hear the good news of Jesus Christ?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Want to hear the good news of Allah?
Stranger: hello r u a horny girl
You: No. Would you like to hear about Mohammad and the good news of the Qur'an?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey
Stranger: me ear itches
You: Would you like to hear about Buddhism?
Stranger: uhm
Stranger: no
Stranger: bye
Stranger: :]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The internet hates Jesus, Mohammad, and the Buddha.

 

[SsM]

The internet hates organized religion .

 

[SuperFerret]

Disorganized religion is worse. They keep changing the day for mass and I always miss it.

 

[imaperson2]

Don't know if appropriate, but **** it

Stranger: swine flu its bullsht
You: I have green vagina
Stranger: what!\
You: Yeah, I don't know why but afraid to go to doctor
Stranger: when did this start?
You: couple of months back
Stranger: you had sex recently?
You: yeah...
You: it was in the dark though, so he didn't notice
Stranger: how green we talking
You: shrek
Stranger: ****!
You: what do you suggest I do?
Stranger: ermm.. is your vagina painful in anyway
Stranger: im a med student
You: This one guy saw it a couple weeks ago and he started calling me FIONA
You:
You: Only when I ***.
Stranger: it hurts when you ***!
Stranger: well thats not good
You: and the *** just looks weird
Stranger: in what way?
You: slimier than what I remember
Stranger: hmmmm.....
Stranger: may i ask how old you are?
You: 19
Stranger: hmmm..
Stranger: and is there any growth at all on your vagina?
You: looks like a mushroom forest and there must be an alice in there.
Stranger: have you ever had unprotected sex before this happend?
You: so are you down to give me a physical doctor? *wink*
Stranger: sure *wink*wink*
You: how far are we talking?
Stranger: i dont know depends how far my patient is willing to go
You: are you down for guys though?
You: *wink*
Stranger: a little*wink*wink*
You: wait, girl or guy?
Stranger: guy
Stranger: want to have cyber sex?
You: Uhhh no.
Stranger: okay babe
You: later
Stranger: love ya
Stranger: hulk *****!
You: haha

 

[Jennifer Walters]

Damn it! Why can't I get anyone to be offended?!

 

[Gilpesh]

Damn it! Why can't I get anyone to be offended?!

Tell filthy jokes.

 

[SuperFerret]

I can't get onto the site now.

 

[Majic Walrus]

You: So anyway... What brings you to Omegle?
Stranger: my friend told me
You: What'd they say?
Stranger: he told me i could talk with foreigners
You: Where are you from?
Stranger: if i tell u will go
You: Go?
Stranger: leave
You: Why?
You: Trust me, it's no worse than where I'm from.
Stranger: ok..shanghai china
You: Cool.
You: Do you speak Mandarin?
Stranger: NO....
You: Oh. Cantonese?
Stranger: i just can speak chinese and little english


It's also full of liars. Anyone from China most likely speaks Mandarin or at least Cantonese. These are both part of the "Chinese" language. Why I know this: Firefly.

 

[Jennifer Walters]

Tell filthy jokes.

I am! And they just roll with it! I'm bored with it already.

 

[AndThePickles]

I tried to pretend I was Chinese, and the person claimed to be from Brazil and was all kind and serious. I need to come across a dumb American who will read "ni hao" and think I'm actually Chinese

 

[SsM]

If I see Ni Hao, I'm thinking Ranma.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

I'd post mine, but I'd get an infraction... Or a ban.

 

[Majic Walrus]

I tried to pretend I was Chinese, and the person claimed to be from Brazil and was all kind and serious. I need to come across a dumb American who will read "ni hao" and think I'm actually Chinese

Do broken English and convince them that you're Korean. Omegle has a lot of Korean users.

 

[Gilpesh]

I went racist because this person didn't get my jokes.

Stranger: Hello. :]
You: Hello
Stranger: Male, female?
You: How did Helen Keller burn her ear?
Stranger: Answer me.
You: Answering the iron
You: How'd she burn the other ear?
You: He called back
Stranger: I don't get it
You: How many white, hetereosexual, catholic, men does it take to change a lightbulb?
Stranger: Idk.
You: One
Stranger: I don't care =)
Stranger: I don't understand that either.
You: It's because the white, straight, catholic, men
You: are better than everyone else
You: WHITE ****ING POWER
You have disconnected.

 

[Gilpesh]

I am! And they just roll with it! I'm bored with it already.

Then you should start trying to get as far into the aristocrats as you can go.

 

[The Squirrel]

I went racist because this person didn't get my jokes.

Haha.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

I tried to pretend I was Chinese, and the person claimed to be from Brazil and was all kind and serious. I need to come across a dumb American who will read "ni hao" and think I'm actually Chinese

Use this:

http://translation2.paralink.com/

You can actually trick people into thinking you're not American. It's ****ing hilarious.

 

[SuperFerret]

Fun with Back to the Future quotes! (Thanks to imdb.com for providing most of the obscure ones.)

Stranger: hey
You: Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain.
Stranger: woah
Stranger: holy ****.
Stranger: thats not good,
You: Yeah, I know, I know. If you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything.
Stranger: i know.
Stranger: i went to the planet Pluto
You: Then tell me, "Future Boy", who's President in the United States in 1985?
Stranger: idk.
You: Whoa, this is heavy.
Stranger: im from the year 1980
You: Since you're new here, I-I'm gonna cut you a break... today. So, why don't you make like a tree and get outta here?
Stranger: i will.
You: Oh... one other thing. If you guys ever have kids and one of them when he's eight years old accidentally sets fire to the living room rug... go easy on him.
Stranger: i will
Stranger: thanks
You: Hold it, fellas. I'm afraid you're just too darn loud. Next, please. Bring the next group, please.
Stranger: okay.
You: Where are my pants?
Stranger: idk
Stranger: in your closet
You: Believe me, it makes perfect sense.
Stranger: ah
Stranger: see ya later alligator.
You: This is all wrong. I don't know what it is, but when I'm kissing you, it's like I'm kissing...my brother.
Stranger: bleh.
You: What happens to us in the future? Do we become *******s or something?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: we do.
You: Marty, you're beginning to sound just like my mother!
Stranger: what year ar eyou from.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

Stranger: hey m/f
You: Depends on which you are
Stranger: m
You: Well, in that case, I guess I can be a female
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Y HALO THAR
You: Y HALO THAR BUTTSECKS
Stranger: That would be a big negative my good sir
You: That's a shame
You: Buttsecks makes the world go 'round
You: It also prevents pregnancy while still enabling sexually active couples to have a good time
Stranger: You are correct
You: I wish to have buttsecks
You: Help me out here
Stranger: Not gay
Stranger: sorry
You: Neither am I
You: I just need some help, man
You: HELP ME
You: I'LL RUB MY CRUSTY PANDA HOOVES ALL OVER YOUR CHESTICLES
You: I PROMISE
Stranger: Well you could maybe get a girlfriend
You: BUT PENIS MAKES ME SLEEP AT NIGHT
Stranger: well I dont even.....
You: Don't even what
You: You can say it
You: We're a loving, trusting couple here
You: You can tell me anything, honey
Stranger: lol
Stranger: wut?
You: FINISH THAT GODDAMN SENTENCE
Stranger: I dont know how to respond to that
You: Well then **** you
You have disconnected.

These are the two most G-Rated I've had yet.

 

[Cunning Stunts]

You: I sharted, just FYI
You: So don't sit in the same seat as me
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

A personal best.

 

[SuperFerret]

A personal best.

Flawless victory.

 

[Majic Walrus]

What's up with "nerdfighter" starting all of these conversations?

 

[Gilpesh]

Now I've started to just spoil movies on it.