Rules of Thumb

[knowsbleed]

Suicide is never the answer.

You'll need the shotgun in about 13-16 years.




edit: nevermind... don't you have teenagers? You need it NOW man!

 

[Halloween]

You'll need the shotgun in about 13-16 years.




edit: nevermind... don't you have teenagers? You need it NOW man!

Yep, she is almost 14.

No gun needed. I'll just use my pinches of power.

 

[knowsbleed]

Yep, she is almost 14.

No gun needed. I'll just use my pinches of power.

-Everyone should have pinches of power.
-... and booty traps.

 

[Halloween]

Dude, she has never seen the Goonies!!!!

 

[knowsbleed]

How dare you deprive your children... you MONSTER!

 

[Halloween]

In time.......she will watch........the goonies.......

 

[knowsbleed]

-ALL children must watch The Goonies before they are too old to think they are too cool to watch The Goonies
-Same goes for The Dark Crystal
-Same goes for The Secret of Nimh

 

[Bond]

If you are coaching a little league baseball team, always make the lead-off hitter the kid with the hottest mom.

 

[spike spiegel]

Always believe everything you read on the internet.

 

[Nathan Petrelli]

When there is no more room in Hell, the Dead will walk the Earth

sorry, someone had to

 

[Halloween]

When you are pissed off at the wife, leave the toilet seat up.

 

[Rando Aces]

never eat yellow snow

 

[Rando Aces]

if its yellow let it mellow.
if its brown flush it down
batman always wins.

 

[Halloween]

Word.

 

[Rando Aces]

-chuck palahniuk writes better than bret easton ellis
- snl is always funny
- vanilla is better than chocolate

 

[Nathan Petrelli]

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
Love is the law, love under will.

 

[3 Dev Adam]

-If the outside of the CD has the word "Zappa" on it, you're going to be disappointed by the music inside.

As a Zappa nut, I respectfully disagree to a token of my extent.

 

[3 Dev Adam]

Don't use the towel to dry your face when on a bathroom with a bidet.

 

[psychocheeseman]

- Any thread with more posts in it by the man who created the thread, than any other hypsters, is guaranteed to be lame.....


Sorry if that seemed rude...

-If the outside of the CD has the word "Zappa" on it, you're going to be disappointed by the music inside.

But FZ is my hero!

 

[Addendum]

snl is always funny

if time was stuck in the 70s

 

[Hotwire]

-If it reaches your knee, it is no longer a fart.

-Never piss off anyone who is handles you foods, your money, or your body.

-Also not a good idea to piss of anyone who has acess to you while you're sleeping.*




*My brother did this and woke up tied to his bed.

 

[Eggyman]

Three shakes is all you need, any more and you're playing with yourself.

If your partner is really paranoid about your faithfulness, chances are they're cheating.

Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza

 

[Addendum]

You can get more in life with a kind word and a 2x4 than you can with just a kind word.

Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.

A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.

Pillage, then burn.

Everything is air-droppable at least once

 

[knowsbleed]

- if things are boring...make them not.

 

[redmarvel]

Before you order food in a restaurant for the first time, take a trip to their washroom.

If their washrooms (which they know the public can see) are filthy - then their kitchen probably isn't much cleaner.

If the washroom is filthy, order bottled water and leave.