Sorry, wrong number

[jaguarr]

jag........
y'know u couldve gotten the phone company too track him down for u........u could've pressed charges for teroristic threats.......and we woudnt be worring if tonyas dead right now....

You killed Tonya you bastard!!

Look, if Tonya wasn't such a ****, none of that would have happened, so...her bad, not mine.

jag

 

[JTIZZLEVILLE]

This happened once and ticked me off pretty bad.

Me: Hello?
Girl: Hey Steven! What's up?
Me: Um, I think you have the wrong number.
Girl: Shut up Steven! How'd the party go last night?
Me: I'm not Steven and I don't know who he is. You really have the wrong number.
Girl: I swear Steven, you piss me off sometimes.
Me: I'm serious. I'm not Steven! You have the wrong number!
Girl: Oh... What is your name?
Me: Jonathan.
Girl: Where do you go to school?
Me: (Blah Blah).
Girl: ..................(long pause)
Me: ..................(long pause)
Girl: I hate you Steven! Why are you disguising your voice like that?
Me: *click*

 

[Hobgoblin]

I bet it's Mike Myers!

The comedian or the serial killer? Cause that could be awesome or not so awesome.

 

[Immortalfire]

At work my boss told me someone was on the phone for me. After I picked up, the other person silently hung up. Now, every once in a while, I'll answer the work phone and someone will silently hang up. Very gently, just hang up the phone. Its like they're just checking to see if I'm there.

I fear for your life

 

[Captain_BluTac]

The comedian or the serial killer? Cause that could be awesome or not so awesome.

Both.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I fear for your life

Well...there are nights were being murdered would be a nice break from being at work.

Both.

*Demogoblin rips off Mike Myers white mask to find....Mike Meyers*

"Groovy baby! Yeah!"

 

[Immortalfire]

*Demogoblin rips off Mike Myers white mask to find....Mike Meyers*

"Groovy baby! Yeah!"

*without a word, Myers stabs Demo, and he dies. 'fire weeps*

 

[Ace of Knaves]

It would be better if he blew up his balls with the "swedish made penis enlarger"

 

[Belvedere]

Me: Hello?
Person: Hello (insert real name)
Me: Who is this?
Person: Guess.
Me: I don't really care.
Person: I love you.
Me: Thanks, I love you too.
Person: Shut up.
Me: You shut up.
Person: No, you shut up.
Me: You shut up.
Person: (Insert real name), I love you.
Me: Yeah, you said.
Person: Don't you love me?
Me: Sure.
Person: Oy..
Me: What?
Person: Shut up.
*put the phone down*

Last week whilst I was in bed (about 3AM).

 

[Eggyman]

It would be better if he blew up his balls with the "swedish made penis enlarger"

I can just imagine him:

" Turn it off. Turn if off! How do you turn this-"

Splat!

"Medic! "

 

[Immortalfire]

I got this call today at work...

Me: Name of station.
Man: Yessir, I need a package picked up please.
Me: Pardon me?
Man: Yeah, I gotta package here at my office that needs to be picked up.
Me: I think you have the wrong number, sir.
Man: Isn't this Fed Ex?
Me: No sir, this is (station)
Man: Isn't this (phone number)?
Me: No, this is (our phone number)
Man: So this isn't Fed Ex.
Me: No sir, sorry.
Man: Damn, I thought I was calling Fed Ex...(voice fades and hangs up)

 

[Alex The Great]

Heh

 

[jaguarr]

So, as some of you know, my brother is a cop. Thursday night I had an interesting phone call around 10pm. It went something like this:

*phone rings*

Me: Hello?
Agitated Sounding Dude: Is this Officer Jag'slastname?
Me: What? (doing my best to sound confused as hell, because anytime someone calls looking for my brother out of the blue like that I just pretend I don't know him or what the hell they're talking about)
Agitated Sounding Dude: Are you an officer?
Me: An...officer of what?
Agitated Sounding Dude: So, you're not an officer?
Me: An officer of what?
Agitated Sounding Dude: So, you're telling me you're not an officer?
Me: An officer of what?
Agitated Sounding Dude: .....
Me: Who is this?
Agitated Sounding Dude: Well, if you're not an officer I'm not telling you.
Me: An officer of what? This is getting redundant, dude.
Agitated Sounding Dude: An officer of the law, smartass!
Me: Oh, well why didn't you just say so. No, I'm not an officer of the law.
Agitated Sounding Dude: So....you're not an officer?
Me: Uhh...didn't I just say that I wasn't? Who are you?
Agitated Sounding Dude: I'm not telling you but if you ARE an officer of the law, then call me back.
Me: Okay, so you're going to leave me your number?
Agitated Sounding Dude: No.
Me: Then why would you ask me to call you back if you're not going to leave your number?
Agitated Sounding Dude: So, you're not an officer?
Me: I think we've pretty well established that I am not. Do you have any other repetitive questions you'd like to ask me five or six times or are we through, here?
Agitated Sounding Dude: ...
Me: Okay, well...have a nice night.

Now, at this point it's pretty apparent that Agitated Sounding Dude wasn't very bright and he'd also been just cold-calling people with my last name out of the phone book (my listing just has my initials and no address). I figured there was no way in hell anyone was dumb enough to call me without *67'ing themselves to keep someone from *69'ing them and getting their number. I was wrong. Agitated Sounding Dude WAS that stupid. I tracked him to a cell phone on a local carrier and triangulated his position through their website. I then started sending him text messages through the carrier's website with no return number attached, giving him his general location, and telling him the cops were on their way and that he should stay put. LOL! I then called my brother and gave him all the details. Turns out my brother has been serving some drug-related warrants and he was pretty sure he knew who this dumbass was, based on the cell number. He put his intelligence guys on it and gave me a description of the dillhole in case ever pops up in my neighborhood (it's pretty much impossible for him to find me, and he doesn't know my name or that the guy he was trying to find by calling me is my brother). From the sounds of it, this guy is going to be in jail on trafficking charges well before Thanksgiving, anyway.

jag

 

[knowsbleed]

Ahh... the power of the technologically competent person who has a morbid sense of humor about dealing with monkey brained individuals. Wield it carefully jag... you might influence the younger lot here who will probably shoot themselves in the foot with their own cell phones.

 

[Immortalfire]

Me: An officer of what? This is getting redundant, dude.
Agitated Sounding Dude: An officer of the law, smartass!

"An officer of the law" needs to be your custom title.

 

[Alex The Great]

Jag should of said he was Commisioner Gordon.

 

[Shemtov]

So, as some of you know, my brother is a cop. Thursday night I had an interesting phone call around 10pm. It went something like this:

*phone rings*

Me: Hello?
Agitated Sounding Dude: Is this Officer Jag'slastname?
Me: What? (doing my best to sound confused as hell, because anytime someone calls looking for my brother out of the blue like that I just pretend I don't know him or what the hell they're talking about)
Agitated Sounding Dude: Are you an officer?
Me: An...officer of what?
Agitated Sounding Dude: So, you're not an officer?
Me: An officer of what?
Agitated Sounding Dude: So, you're telling me you're not an officer?
Me: An officer of what?
Agitated Sounding Dude: .....
Me: Who is this?
Agitated Sounding Dude: Well, if you're not an officer I'm not telling you.
Me: An officer of what? This is getting redundant, dude.
Agitated Sounding Dude: An officer of the law, smartass!
Me: Oh, well why didn't you just say so. No, I'm not an officer of the law.
Agitated Sounding Dude: So....you're not an officer?
Me: Uhh...didn't I just say that I wasn't? Who are you?
Agitated Sounding Dude: I'm not telling you but if you ARE an officer of the law, then call me back.
Me: Okay, so you're going to leave me your number?
Agitated Sounding Dude: No.
Me: Then why would you ask me to call you back if you're not going to leave your number?
Agitated Sounding Dude: So, you're not an officer?
Me: I think we've pretty well established that I am not. Do you have any other repetitive questions you'd like to ask me five or six times or are we through, here?
Agitated Sounding Dude: ...
Me: Okay, well...have a nice night.

Now, at this point it's pretty apparent that Agitated Sounding Dude wasn't very bright and he'd also been just cold-calling people with my last name out of the phone book (my listing just has my initials and no address). I figured there was no way in hell anyone was dumb enough to call me without *67'ing themselves to keep someone from *69'ing them and getting their number. I was wrong. Agitated Sounding Dude WAS that stupid. I tracked him to a cell phone on a local carrier and triangulated his position through their website. I then started sending him text messages through the carrier's website with no return number attached, giving him his general location, and telling him the cops were on their way and that he should stay put. LOL! I then called my brother and gave him all the details. Turns out my brother has been serving some drug-related warrants and he was pretty sure he knew who this dumbass was, based on the cell number. He put his intelligence guys on it and gave me a description of the dillhole in case ever pops up in my neighborhood (it's pretty much impossible for him to find me, and he doesn't know my name or that the guy he was trying to find by calling me is my brother). From the sounds of it, this guy is going to be in jail on trafficking charges well before Thanksgiving, anyway.

jag

isnt that illegal?

 

[jaguarr]

isnt that illegal?

No, it's not. What's your cell number?

jag

 

[Shemtov]

No, it's not. What's your cell number?

jag

555-616-520



hmmm... maybe i'll give jag my enimies number............nah.

 

[Immortalfire]

Careful kid, Jag is an officer of the law.

 

[Hobgoblin]

*without a word, Myers stabs Demo, and he dies. 'fire weeps*

Thank you.

It would be better if he blew up his balls with the "swedish made penis enlarger"

No it wouldnt.

 

[Mee]

Careful kid, Jag is an officer of the law.

"You have the right to remain silent. Jag. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Jag."

 

[Immortalfire]

LoL t:

 

[jaguarr]

"You have the right to remain silent. Jag. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Jag."

Haha!

jag

 

[Drakon]

"You have the right to remain silent. Jag. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Jag."

Okay, I laughed.