Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread - Part 1

[Duran Man]

She's 57? Jesus.

 

[Anubis]

Look at her eyes. She's dead inside.

Let the poor lady drink.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

I imagine this is the true ending to stories like Dangerous Minds

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Woman Had Sex With Dogs, Tried to Poison the Witnesses

A woman who admitted to having sex with her roommates' dogs is also accused of attempting to poison the roommates after they found out about it.

Albuquerque police said Shari Walters, 53, tried to kill Beverly Bradley and Bradley's brother, Jeffrey, who also lives there, by putting rubbing alcohol in their water and toilet bowl cleaner in their food.

Walters was allegedly upset that Jeffrey, who she had been dating, had broken off their relationship after he found out she'd been humping two German shepherds.

According to KOAT 7, Bradley told police she "caught Walters lying nude inside a shed on their property having sex with her dog, Spike."

According to the complaint, Walters then confessed she'd had sex with other dog, Jake, too, and said she'd done it "many times before."

The night after the incident, the Bradleys noticed something seemed off about their water, but drank it anyway. In their complaint, they said Walters asked them, "Aren't you going to eat?" and then attacked them and confessed the poisoning.

"I'll stop trying to kill you if Jeffrey would be with me," Walters said, according to Bradley.

KOAT reports both roommates are now receiving medical treatment for the alcohol and cleaning chemicals they ingested.

As for Jake and Spike, although Jeffrey was very concerned they might have contracted diseases he claims Walter had, they're both healthy and suffered only minor injuries.

Walters is charged with "aggravated battery, cruelty or extreme cruelty to animals, and assault with intent to commit a violent felony."

http://www.koat.com/news/police-woman-has-sex-with-dogs-poisons-roommates/27486088#!bD5Eij

Seriously wtf is wrong with this lady? She needs to be committed. And how stupid are the idiots that live with her? "Hmm this water and food taste funny, oh well. I guess I'll eat/drink it anyway."

 

[Duran Man]

New Mexico's really going to the dogs.

 

[Teelie]

It's the sun. All this crazy **** happens in places with too much sun in the day.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man Shows Up for Mugshot Wearing Previous Mugshot on His Shirt

So you've just been arrested, and you're wondering what you should wear when you're booked into jail. Worry not, as there's one surefire way to nail it with style and grace: just wear any old shirt, but print the mugshot from a previous arrest on the front. You'll knock 'em out.

Take Robert Burt, for example, a 19-year old who began a short sentence for drunken driving earlier this month. When he showed up to be processed, he wore a smart orange tee—a little baggy in the shoulders, maybe—with his arrest photo, from June, on the front. See how good it looks? Note how his nonplussed expression mirrors the face on the shirt, and his eyebrows look like two tiny mustaches, framing his face just so.

Below the photo is some text: BURT FAMILY REUNION, 8/8 - 8/10/2014, SPONSORED BY BUD LIGHT AND SOMERSET COUNTY SHERIFF. A family member of Burt's, we are to assume, was also locked up at the time. The police who took the photo, Burt said after his two-day incarceration was up, "were laughing their asses off," and asked him to hold his placard so that the photo was visible.

"I'm out ******," he reportedly wrote on Facebook, celebrating his release. Out and looking good, Robert. We salute you.

http://www.nydailynews.com/man-man-...source=***********&utm_campaign=NYDailyNewsTw

Looks like we found ourselves a winner here folks. Big things in this guys future, I can tell

 

[Duran Man]

Mugception.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Woman Cited for Climbing Into Giraffe Pen, Getting Kicked in Face

Police in Wisconsin say a woman was cited this weekend after climbing into a zoo's giraffe pen and getting a big ol' giraffe kick in the face.

The Associated Press reports 24-year-old Amanda Hall, of San Luis Obispo, California, managed to climb over the first of two fences in the Madison zoo's giraffe enclosure. She almost made her way over the second when she met Wally. From the AP:

A 2-year-old, 12-foot-tall giraffe named Wally gave Hall a lick, then turned and kicked her in the face.

Girl, tell me about it.

Police fined Hall $686 for harassment of zoo animals. According to the AP, the police report says Hall told officers she climbed into the exhibit "because she loves giraffes."

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/storie...ME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2014-08-17-12-30-24

I'll never understand why an adult could think that they can just waltz up to a wild animal and then think they are going to be best buddies or something

 

[Duran Man]

Dumbass.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Pissed Off Babysitter Allegedly Set "Disrespectful" Kids' House on Fire

A babysitter who had been watching two girls in Austin, Texas for only a few months allegedly grew so frustrated with their shenanigans that she decided to light their house on fire. A punishment fit for the crime!

Martha Dreher, 57, was caught on surveillance camera entering the Texas home of the children she watched, leaving twenty minutes later with flames beginning to emerge from the girls' bedrooms. Dreher denies starting the fire.

Dreher told investigators that she was tired of dealing with the girls and wanted to quit. She had told their father that his oldest daughter was "very disrespectful."

According to ABC News and Glenn Williams, the girls' father, the family's oldest child came home and saw smoke:

Hours later, the girls' brother came home.

"My son Adam came in and said, 'Dad, I just went to the kitchen - lot of smoke,'" said Williams.

No one was injured.

Dreher is being held on an arson charge, which she has plead not guilty to.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/texas-babysitter-accused-setting-fire-familys-home/story?id=25095886

That will teach the little bastards!

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Pageant Mom Fed Her Teen Tapeworms to Make Her Lose Weight

A nurse who appeared on a recent episode of Untold Stories of the ER told the horrifying story of a pageant mother who fed her daughter tapeworms to slim her down for a competition.

Maricar Cabral-Osori recounted admitting the girl to the ER and later discovering her in a bathroom, screaming over a toilet filled with writhing tapeworms. The nurse said the mother later admitted she had purchased tapeworm eggs in Mexico and fed them to her daughter.

"You saw the mom turn white," Cabral-Osori said. "The mom was apologizing to the girl. She's like, 'I'm so sorry. You know, I just did it to make you a little skinnier. You needed some help before we went on to the pageant.' "

"It was so gross," she explained. "We were like blegh."

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/08...eworms-to-make-her-lose-weight/2341408633717/

Wow, there really needs to be a test before you can reproduce

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man Calls 911 to Report Stripper Who Wouldn't Have Sex With Him

A Montana man called the police Saturday night because a stripper accepted his $350 for a private dance and "ripped him off" by refusing to have sex with him.

William McDaniel's night at suburban Butte's Sagebrush Sam's gentleman's club didn't play out exactly as he planned, though: Officers arrested the 53-year-old man for soliciting, and presumably explained the difference between dancers and prostitutes.

Police say that the dancer cut McDaniel's backroom session short when he "became sexually aggressive" toward her.

"He felt he was ripped off by the bar," Butte-Silver Bow Undersheriff George Skuletich told the Montana Standard. "He assumed he paid the $350 for sexual acts that didn't occur."

McDaniel didn't get a refund, and was released Sunday morning after paying $550 for bond.

The Smoking Gun points out that the charmingly named Sagebrush Sam's (pictured below) only had one Yelp review at the time of the incident, a one-star screed that read, "This establishment needs a complete makeover. Walls and floor are extremely filthy. Even the stripper pole looked like it was going to break loose from the floor."

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/no-sex-at-strip-club-complaint-674321<br />

Haha I've known many a stripper over the years and I always love the stories they have about guys thinking they are paying for stuff but usually the guy is smart enough to realize he can't call the 5-O about it

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Police Find Wanted Man After He Posts Ice Bucket Challenge Video

Jesean Morris was wanted by police in Omaha for violating the terms of his parole. They found him after someone saw his video for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge—the dousing that has captured the nation's attention and clicks—on Facebook and reported him.

According to the Omaha World-Herald, after learning of Morris' location, police arrived and saw him get into a PT Cruiser and be driven away.

Police followed, pulled the car over and arrested Morris, who allegedly first gave officers a fake name and spit in their face. Morris also allegedly kicked down the partition between the front and back seats of the police car.

The Smoking Gun, citing state records, reports that Morris was released in March of this year. He was tried and sentenced as an adult for his involvement in a shooting in 2010, when he was 16.

http://www.omaha.com/news/crime/ice...cle_497430f6-0a22-5162-a116-4ccdd0ce640b.html

Haha but officers, it was for charity!

 

[Duran Man]

That cuts no ice with the police.

 

[KevanG]

Cool story bro.

 

[RetrogradeOrbit]

What a nICE story...

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Trio Throws Toilet, Sink to Protect Meth Lab From Hallucinated Attack

The Jackson County, Fla. Sheriff's office busted an alleged meth lab after the three people inside tried to fight off hallucinated attackers by firing guns and throwing anything they could find—including a toilet and a bathroom sink—out the window.

After being called to the scene because of suspicious noises and cries for help, officers tried to convince Matthew McDaniel, 30, Damian Hines, 21, and Madison Douglas, 18, that their "attackers" had left the house, the Dothan Eagle reports.

Although the three couldn't describe the assailants who allegedly held them hostage for hours, Douglas claimed one of them had stabbed her and that the knife had broken off in her abdomen. Officers saw only a superficial scratch, which they determined was self-inflicted during the hallucinated fight.

Authorities say the house contained a small amount of meth and a "shake-and-bake" meth lab.

The statement from the sheriff's office details the extensive damage to the house:

"The three armed themselves with a 12-gauge shotgun and a .22 rifle. Approximately 40 rounds of 12-gauge and an unknown number of .22 rounds were fired from inside the residence. Numerous windows were shot out and holes were shot in the walls. They completely removed a large rear window from the house on the second floor and threw the bathroom sink at the imaginary attackers. Chunks of sheetrock, wood, firearm parts and anything they could tear out of the residence was thrown outside, including the toilet, which was ripped from the floor. In total, more than $10,000 damage was done to the residence."

All three were charged with possession and attempted manufacture of meth, as well as felony criminal mischief.

http://www.dothaneagle.com/news/cri...cle_a7bb8afa-2c78-11e4-ae33-0017a43b2370.html

Haha stupid tweakers

 

[Duran Man]

These guys are a hot meth.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Brother and Sister Arrested for Having Sex in Church Parking Lot

Christopher Buckner, 20, and her half-brother, Timothy Savoy, 25, were arrested by Effingham County, Ga. police after they admitted to having had sex three times in a tractor trailer parked outside of a church. The two apparently told the officer that they decided to have sex after watching The Notebook.

From the Savannah Morning News:

The spokesman said deputies answered a call at about 4:30 a.m. about a prowler in the area of Hester Road and Ga. 30.

As deputies were checking the area, they saw a man and woman walking down the road. The male said he was walking the female back to her house.

Deputies determined that the pair were brother and sister and that they had just had sex in a Kenworth tractor trailer, which was parked at Countryside Baptist Church, Ehsanipoor said.

According to WJCL, the two were charged by police with incest, sodomy, and prowling.

http://www.wjbf.com/story/26388197/effingham-county-siblings-arrested-and-charged-with-incest

That's pretty disgusting but I had no idea you could catch a charge for incest

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

4-Year-Old Kicked out of Preschool Over Mom's Facebook Post

A Christian preschool in Florida expelled a 4-year-old student after his mom complained about school administration in a Facebook post. Although her son had done nothing wrong, she apparently violated a policy against "sowing discord."

In the fairly tame post, Ashley Habat vented her frustrations with Callahan, Fla.'s Sonshine Christian Academy because she felt they hadn't given her enough notice about picture day.

"Why is it that every single day there is something new I dislike about Will's School? Are my standards really too high or are people working in the education field really just that ignorant?" she wrote, tagging the school.

Although Habat's son wasn't accused of any wrongdoing, she says Sonshine told her it didn't want him anymore because his mom "wasn't the right fit" with the school.

This is part of the letter she received from administration, WJXT Jacksonville reported:

"Your relationship with Sonshine did not get off to a very good start the first day of school. … You utilized social media to call into question not only the integrity but the intelligence of our staff. ... These actions are also consistent with sowing discord, which is spoken of in the handbook you signed."

Habat is shocked and outraged, WKMG reported, that the school would take its issues with a parent out on an innocent 4-year-old. She also says she didn't think the school would be able to see the post—even though she tagged it—because it was set to "friends only."

http://www.news4jax.com/news/4yearold-expelled-from-preschool-for-moms-facebook-post/27740108

Gotta love private schools, also I find it hilarious this day and age that anyone at all is surprised when something they post on the freaking internet comes back to bite them in the ass

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Asst. Principal Fined for Changing His Son's Failing Grades 11 Times

There are unspoken perks to having your dad be the basketball coach and an assistant principal at your high school. Like if you're the son of Cool Dad Abdurrahim Ali, formerly of Bread and Roses High School in Harlem, you get 11 of your failing grades changed to passing ones.

But if your cool dad does this, he will be fined and no longer have a job at your school. Ali has been charged $7,000 by New York's appropriately-titled Conflict of Interest Board for having altered his son's grades 11 times over the course of his high school career, 2009 to 2013.

"I used my Bread and Roses administrator identification and password to log into the Bread and Roses student grading program and changed 11 of my son's exam and course grades from failing to passing scores," Ali said in the case's disposition.

According to the New York Daily News, Ali has been reassigned away from Bread and Roses, but has not been placed at a new school. He remains on the Department of Education's payroll with a $104,437 annual salary.

"Mr. Ali abused his position, and has been disciplined for his inappropriate actions. The DOE is committed to swiftly addressing any improper behavior in our classrooms, to ensure that we are delivering a high-quality education to all our students," a Dept. of Education spokesperson told the Wall Street Journal.

The school, the Daily News reports, is expected to close by 2016 for poor performance.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york...ined-7k-changing-son-grades-article-1.1919569

I'm assuming college wasn't being planned for for his kid because if he couldn't make it in high school no way was he going to fare better at university, wouldn't have daddy to bail him out. Good to know this guy is sitting pretty with his $100k a year salary though, makes me sleep a little better at night

 

[TheDreamMaster]

Brother and Sister Arrested for Having Sex in Church Parking Lot

http://www.wjbf.com/story/26388197/effingham-county-siblings-arrested-and-charged-with-incest

That's pretty disgusting but I had no idea you could catch a charge for incest

That's pretty disgusting, but did anyone else wonder why her name is Christopher.

 

[KevanG]

I did but then I realized I didn't want to know anything more about either of them.

 

[Teelie]

That's pretty disgusting, but did anyone else wonder why her name is Christopher.

That was my first thought after reading they were caught having sex and hoping it was merely they were with other people while doing it (though it's obvious these are trailer park denizens as well as tractor-trailer ones, apparently) and I knew the reality would be that sad.

That was immediately followed up by wondering what the hell "The Notebook" had to do with it.

It is illegal to commit incest because of the obvious problems that happen when you don't branch your family tree and instead choose to invert it.