Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread - Part 1

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Woman in "I Heart Crystal Meth" T-Shirt Arrested for Guess What

On Tuesday, police in Laurel County, Kentucky released this booking photo of a woman and her stylish "I Heart Crystal Meth" T-shirt on social media. Unfortunately, no points will be awarded for guessing tweaker Amy Poehler's charge, which, as you may have figured out, was a crime of passion.

Early Tuesday morning, sheriffs picked up 37-year-old Deborah Asher and a companion after a K-9-assisted investigation turned up several grams of crystal meth and a set of digital scales.

Both now face charges of first degree trafficking in a controlled substance and possession of methamphetamine. According to the Daily Mail, Asher remains in custody, having followed her heart to a $25,000 bond.

http://www.wkyt.com/home/headlines/...l-meth-shirt-281830481.html?device=tablet&c=y

Never understood people who wear shirts proclaiming their love for illegal drugs

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Andy Dick Arrested After Stealing Some Dude's Necklace

According to a report from TMZ, Andy Dick is in custody after stealing some dude's $1,000 necklace while riding his bike on Hollywood Boulevard.

Andy Dick, who frequently doesn't seem to be doing well, reportedly rode up to the man with the expensive chain last week and asked if he could see it. Because the necklace's owner recognized Dick, he obliged. Sure, Andy Dick, why not. Dick then rode off with the stranger's jewelry. ****.

The man reported the incident, but cops were unable to find Andy Dick until spotting him outside of his Hollywood apartment last night. TMZ reports they arrested him for grand theft and he is currently in jail on a $25,000 bail.

http://www.tmz.com/2014/11/08/andy-dick-arrested-necklace-grand-necklace/

At this point I'm not even surprised

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Pastor Says They're Sticking Sodomite Semen in Your Starbucks

[YT]WVjStWtQPYM[/YT]

Was semen really found in Starbucks drinks nationwide? Is the FDA looking into this? No. God no. But Harlem pastor James David Manning thinks so, and he's very concerned.

Manning, who also believes that Starbucks was where the sodomites started Ebola and that Putin will out Obama as a "homo" next week, recently read a headline on Inquisitr about the great Starbucks Semen Scare of '14. He didn't read the rest of the story, though: It explained that the rumors of double-tall wiz lattes were fabricated by Huzlers, which falls somewhere below The Currant in the hierarchy of crappy, sub-Onion "parody" news sites.

But Pastor Manning, having been thoroughly Huzled, made a video explaining how he believes this theoretical semen is making its way into Starbucks drinks: The company is putting it there to make the coffee taste better. And it's sodomite semen, by the way. That's the most delicious kind!

Here's Manning:

Starbucks is a place where these types frequent and a lot of body fluids are exchanged there. But the thing that I was not aware of is that there has been information that has been released… what Starbucks was doing, is they were taking specimens of male semen, and they were putting it in the blends of their lattes. Now, this is the absolute truth.

...

My suspicion is that they're getting their semen from sodomites. Semen flavors up the coffee, and makes you thinks you're having a good time.

Gay rights activists picketed Manning's ATLAH church last week after he blamed gays for bringing Ebola to New York City. They were handing out free Starbucks, which I'm going to assume he didn't take.

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/starbucks-semen-rant/

And people wonder why a lot of folks look at religion like they're a bunch of nutjobs

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

"You Into Handcuffs?": Drunk Dude Busted Calling 911 Looking for Date

Stephen Ramsey, a 45-year-old lothario, was arrested in his Naples, Florida, home after getting wasted and calling 911 several times looking for a date. At one point, with a chuckle, he asked the operator about her feelings on handcuffs before hanging up.

The seven-minute recording below is alternately funny and sad—it's pretty clear that the guy has a drinking problem—and a little excruciating throughout. The best part comes at about 5:30, when after haranguing the operator about the location of the nearest ambulance, he makes it clear his interest is purely theoretical: "I don't need one. I'm just asking."

You have to feel for the operator, who handles the nuisance call with patience and grace, and for Ramsey, who does seem like he could use some help—if not the kind 911 has to offer. When he was arrested, he reportedly confessed his troubles with alcohol, adding that he was looking for an escort service to help him pass the time.

http://www.abc-7.com/story/27286565/man-calls-911-for-a-date-gets-jail#.VFzKhfTF-_f

Audio of the call at the link

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Montanans Not Sure About This Plan for a Racially Diverse KKK Chapter

If congressional Republicans can win over the same electorate that voted for Barack Obama twice, then maybe one of Montana's most notorious white supremacists can drum up interest in his plan for a kindler, gentler Ku Klux Klan that welcomes minorities, Jews, and gays.

That's the plan, anyway, according to the Great Falls Tribune:

John Abarr of Great Falls claims he is a reformed man, which is why he's started a new KKK group called the Rocky Mountain Knights. Though he won't say exactly how many members this new KKK group has, the organization will not discriminate against people because of race, religion or sexual orientation.

"The KKK is for a strong America," Abarr said. "White supremacy is the old Klan. This is the new Klan."

... Abarr said his chapter of the KKK is a fraternal organization seeking members who want to fight against a "new world order" or a one-world government, which he is afraid the federal government is trying to achieve.

Members who join still would be required to wear the robes and hoods and participate in the secret rituals, but Abarr said the Rocky Mountain Knights will be an open and non-discriminatory group.

Abarr says he also wants to extend an olive branch to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, inviting the NAACP to a "peace summit" he plans for next year. "I don't feel we need to be separate," he told the Tribune.

Abarr reportedly paid $50 and joined the NAACP last year after a secret Wyoming meeting with them in his capacity as a representative of "The United Klans of America".

So far, Abarr's chief success has been in uniting the left and right against him. In addition to condemnation from the Montana Human Rights Network, his plan has other klansmen hopping mad.

"That man's going against everything the bylaws of the constitution of the KKK say," United Klans grand wizard Bradley Jenkins told the Tribune. "He's trying to hide behind the KKK to further his political career."

http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/2014/11/03/many-suspicious-of-new-montana-kkk-chapter/18408215/

This is freaking hilarious

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Florida Woman Stabs Boyfriend to Protect Pet Turtle

According to The Palm Beach Post, a 53-year-old Florida woman is facing criminal charges after, authorities allege, she stabbed her boyfriend for threatening her turtle.

From the Post:

[Marie] Seymour and her boyfriend were drinking when he said he would harm her turtle and allegedly came after her, according to her recount of the events. The turtle’s name was not released.

“The turtle’s name was not released.”

The boyfriend was treated at a local hospital, while Seymour was taken to jail for booking. The boyfriend told police that he did not want her to go to jail.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/n...tabs-boyfriend-after-he-threatens-to-h/nh2fD/

Had that turtle been of the teenage mutant variety it could have protected her

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Dog Poop Dispute Ends in Attempted Double Homicide

Police in Springfield, Massachusetts say a spat between building tenants about dog poop turned into something far crappier on Saturday: a less-than-neighborly double stabbing.

33-year-old Michael Valentin was arrested yesterday on two counts of armed assault with intent to murder after allegedly stabbing his 46-year-old neighbor and her 23-year-old daughter in the face, neck and back. Valentin was apparently angered by feces left by their dogs in shared spaces of the multi-family home they both rented.

From NBC New York:

Valentin called police earlier to complain that the victims' two pit bulls would defecate on the rear stairs and side yard. Police asked the landlord to resolve the code violation. The stabbing occurred about two hours later.

Valentin is scheduled to be arraigned on Monday.

http://wtnh.com/2014/11/08/dispute-over-dog-feces-leads-to-stabbing/

Poop is serious business

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Woman Pulls Fake Teeth From Bartender’s Mouth To Save Her Marriage

A Massachusetts woman has been charged with assault after yanking the false teeth out of a bartender’s mouth and then throwing a beer bottle at her.

According to the Telegram & Gazette, Caterina Froio-Chaput went to the American Legion on Wednesday night on suspicion that the bartender there, Susan Carlson, was sleeping with her estranged husband. She was refused a drink and when asked to leave:

Ms. Froio-Chaput allegedly started hitting the bartender in the face and pulled the false teeth out of the bartender’s mouth. After the bartender escaped behind the bar, Ms. Froio-Chaput allegedly picked up a beer bottle from the counter and threw it at her, striking her in the chest, according to the police report.

When police showed up, Froio-Chaput told officers that she did not have the bartender’s teeth—a very bold bluff. Officers asked to check her belongings, and so obviously “Froio-Chaput ripped off her vest and threw it to the floor. Another officer picked up the vest and found the false teeth in the woman’s right front pocket, according to the police report.“

It seemed like jig was up, but Froio-Chaput had one more ace up her sleeve. According to the police report, she told officers: "No, I don’t have fake teeth. They must belong to that b**** and she must have planted them in my pocket." Bulletproof.

Froio-Chaput is now facing charges of assault and battery, and assault and battery with a deadly weapon. The deadly weapon was the beer bottle. Froio-Chaput claims she merely knocked over the bottle while defending herself.

In a follow-up interview with the Boston Herald, Froio-Chaput said, “I don’t condone what happened. I feel very badly about it,” but claimed that she acted in the best interest of her family. “I’m a lover, not a fighter,” she said.

http://www.telegram.com/article/20141107/NEWS/311079828/1116

Pretty hilarious

 

[Slushy]

At this point I'm not even surprised

He lives up to his name!

 

[Duran Man]

Woman Pulls Fake Teeth From Bartender’s Mouth To Save Her Marriage

http://www.telegram.com/article/20141107/NEWS/311079828/1116

Pretty hilarious

Crazy b**** really showed her teeth.

 

[Marvolo]

Pastor Says They're Sticking Sodomite Semen in Your Starbucks

[YT]WVjStWtQPYM[/YT]



http://www.dailydot.com/lol/starbucks-semen-rant/

And people wonder why a lot of folks look at religion like they're a bunch of nutjobs

 

[Slushy]

How to get yourself fired in 3 easy steps:

[YT]qK5xxU3DSbc[/YT]

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man Arrested While Trying to Barter Chicken for Sex

A Florida man was arrested in a prostitution sting after trying to pick up an undercover female officer in Sanford last week. Steven Torres, 32, was one of seven men caught in the sting, but his case is unusual due to the lowball offer he made: $3 and a chicken dinner.

The officer agreed to the deal and arrested Torres, who is now out on bond. He's due back in court Dec. 1, Orlando's WKMG reports.

No word on the street value of the chicken.

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/fl...olice-officer-chicken-dinner-for-sex/29643534

That must have been one ugly undercover officer

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Woman Maced Moviegoer Who Politely Asked Her to Stop Texting

According to reports, a moviegoer who made the grave mistake of asking a woman to turn off her distractingly bright cell phone ended up getting harassed and maced at a Hollywood movie screening Monday night.

According to Mashable, the woman was using her phone—which was visibly glowing—during an AFI Film Festival screening of Mr. Turner at the TCL Chinese movie theater.

"He was saying 'Excuse me sir, could you please turn off your screen'" over and over, the eyewitness tells Mashable. After repeating himself several times, and without a response, the man then tapped the woman on the shoulder.

The woman reacted angrily to being touched, and "flipped out" on him, the eyewitness said. "She stands up and starts cursing, saying 'You hit me, you hit me, I'm going to call the police." She then turned the phone's flashlight function on and pointed it directly at the man's face.

The awkward standoff lasted for nearly a minute, the witness said, and she continued shining the light even as people all around implored her to turn it off and sit down. As the man was calmly defending himself, she then told him she had mace and started digging in her bag.

Mashable reports she sprayed the man "at point-blank range," then calmly sat down and continued to watch the film until security escorted her out 20 minutes later. Variety reports that although the man and his date left the theater immediately after the mace drama, the rest of the audience "rather enjoyed the rest of the film."

A corporate rep told the Hollywood Reporter that the theater is investigating the incident.

http://mashable.com/2014/11/10/man-...eir-cell-phone/?utm_cid=mash-com-Tw-main-link

Psycho much?

 

[Monsieur Xavier]

Well, the goal was to arrest customers, her beauty isn't a factor.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Drunk Spanish Teacher Allegedly Pissed His Pants, Attacked Student

[YT]kwOD29yGSAs[/YT]

A Spanish teacher at a Connecticut high school was pulled out of class in handcuffs with very little explanation last week, and a local news station is reporting he showed up to class visibly drunk and pissed his pants in front of students.

Southington (Conn.) High School parents got a letter from the principal about the Thursday morning incident, but it went into very little detail: The teacher "behaved in an unprofessional manner… and was removed immediately from the classroom."

An anonymous source at the school told WTNH that when students started taking video of the teacher, he flipped: "The kids were video taping it and he proceeded to pin a student up against the wall. He did make physical contact with a student."

The unruly teacher was apparently handcuffed and removed from the school, but no police report was filed, according to Southington PD. WTNH visited the superintendent's office to find out why police were never called and parents weren't told what really happened, but assistant superintendent Karen Smith didn't provide any answers.

The teacher hadn't been officially disciplined as of Friday.

The local station doesn't have the alleged video of the incident.

http://wtnh.com/2014/11/07/teacher-accused-of-being-drunk-in-classroom-removed-by-school-officials/

Kind of weird this guy wasn't charged with anything

 

[Monsieur Xavier]

Woman Maced Moviegoer Who Politely Asked Her to Stop Texting

Spoiler

http://mashable.com/2014/11/10/man-...eir-cell-phone/?utm_cid=mash-com-Tw-main-link

Psycho much?

It's America, the man should sue her to oblivion.

 

[KevanG]

And then she should counter sue for assault and besmirching her name.

 

[Monsieur Xavier]

I didn't thought of that ! Can you do that even if you are found guilty in the first place ?

 

[KevanG]

It's America so probably.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man Killed After Being Pushed on Subway Tracks by Stranger

A 61-year-old man was allegedly pushed onto the subway tracks in the Bronx on Sunday morning when an incoming D train was approaching. The man was killed by the train and reports say that his wife watched on in horror.

Emergency responders came to the scene but Wai Kuen Kwok could not be saved. According to police, the man who pushed Kwok did not know him, and the search has begun to find the suspect.

Via New York Daily News:

The train's motorman saw Kwok just before hitting him, but he could not stop the train in time, a transit source said.

"He said the guy just flew off the platform in front of his train as he was entering the station. The guy was still in the air when he hit him," the transit source said.

Three cars rolled over Kwok before the train stopped, the transit source said.

The husband and wife couple were on their way downtown to Chinatown to have breakfast when the incident happened, reports say.

As a result of the murder, service has been suspended on downtown D trains from 145th St. to Tremont Ave, an MTA spokeswoman told NY Daily News.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/man-65-dies-pushed-bronx-subway-article-1.2012658

What the bad place is wrong with people?

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

College Student Was Super Stressed Out So He Banged a Sheep

A student at Fresno State University who was reportedly stressed out (and also drunk) was discovered by police with his pants down banging a sheep on Tuesday. He had been ratted out by a fellow student when she heard "strange noises" coming from the Fresno Sheep Unit.

The 23-year-old student initially told police that he had come into the Fresno Sheep Unit to wrestle with some cattle but there were no cows around to wrestle. He then changed his story, explaining he was looking to blow off some steam.

Take it away, KMPH Fox 26:

The student then changed his story, according to the report and told officers he was stressed over mid-terms, and came over to the sheep unit to beat and punch the animals.

But when officer told him that he saw him holding the sheep down and everything else that he was doing with it, that's when the student admitted to the officer he was having sexual intercourse with the sheep, but that it was his first time.

The student then asked officers, "Am I going to be expelled for this?" He was then arrested and taken to jail. So the answer is probably yes, guy. You will likely be expelled for banging a sheep.

http://www.kmph-kfre.com/story/27383107/fresno-state-student-arrested-for-having-sex-with-sheep

Again, what the bad place is wrong with people?

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Science Teacher Snaps Rabbit's Neck in Front of Tenth Grade Class

An Idaho biology teacher is facing disciplinary action after Steven Seagal-ing a live rabbit during a lesson for his 10th grade class, Boise's KTVB reports.

According to school district spokesperson Allison Westfall, the rabbit was placed in a restraining device before the teacher snapped its neck, after which it was skinned and "cut up."

From the NY Daily News:

The part-time teacher was not identified. He is also a farmer. The demonstration was intended to show the 10th grade students how foot gets to the table.

But Nampa School District officials said they were not aware that an animal was going to be killed in class.

The teacher apparently provided the bunny dismantling tutorial at the insistence of his class. "The students had asked," said Westfall.

http://www.ktvb.com/story/news/local/2014/11/13/rabbit-class-killed/18989771/

Well if the students asked then by all means...

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

After Family Argument, Man Blows Himself Up

A man in Homberg, Germany was so incensed by an argument that he was having with his family that instead of going out to have a few neat whiskeys, or running up the stairs and slamming in the door, he blew himself up outside the family's house.

According to a report in the Associated Press, after the argument, the man drove away in his car, only to return later with explosives. The man then blew himself and his car up in close proximity to the house, killing himself and injuring several others.

Via the AP:

The seven people slightly wounded by debris from the explosion included family members, neighbors and two police officers who had been called to settle the family argument. The blast also damaged neighboring homes.

Police are investigating the case.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/a54d...c/man-blows-himself-after-family-feud-germany

Do they have some kind of explosive store in Germany that anyone can go to?

 

[Marvolo]

After Family Argument, Man Blows Himself Up

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/a54d...c/man-blows-himself-after-family-feud-germany

Do they have some kind of explosive store in Germany that anyone can go to?

Husband - "Oh you think Im a POS husband and father! Well Ill show you, *****! See how you feel after I go out like Wille Coyote!"

*boom*

Wife - "Moron ... Kids, who wants icecream!? "