Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread - Part 1

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Duck Dynasty Star Says "Biblically Correct Sex" Can't Transmit STDs

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http://cnsnews.com/news/article/mic...rtson-biblically-correct-sex-safe-sex-no-stds

The fact that anyone listens to this poseur idiots is mind blowing

Pastor's Sermons: I Have AIDS and I Had Sex With Congregants

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http://www.wbtv.com/story/26737935/...ts-to-having-aids-sleeping-with-church-member

That is pretty messed up
He and Phil Robertson should have a chat.
 
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't forceful entry into ones butthole considered rape in most states?
Surprisingly not. Some states only consider vagnial penetration as rape. So if you're sexually violated in any other way it might not be considered sexual assault but some lesser charge.
 
UPDATE: Seven Charged in NJ High School Football Team Hazing

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Seven students at New Jersey's Sayreville War Memorial High School have been charged with sex crimes in an investigation into the high school football team's hazing.

The investigation reportedly found that students held the victims against their will and inappropriately touched them—allegedly shoving fingers into their rectums. One student also claims he was kicked.

According to the AP, six of the seven students charged, who range in age from 15 to 17, were arrested on Friday night. Authorities are seeking out the seventh. Middlesex County prosecutor Andrew C. Carey said three of them were charged with aggravated sexual assault, criminal restraint, and hazing, among other crimes. The remaining four were charged with aggravated criminal sexual contact.

The AP reports a Family Court decision will determine whether the teens in custody will be held in a juvenile detention facility, or whether they will be released to their families.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/65cf...f8/7-charged-high-school-football-hazing-case

Good, let this be a lesson to other idiots across the country
 
5-Year-Old Who Drew Pretend Crayon-Gun Made to Sign No-Suicide Contract

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A Mobile, Ala., mom says school officials forced her daughter to sign a contract promising not to commit suicide or harm others after the kindergartner "drew something that resembled a gun," then pointed a crayon at another kid and said "pew, pew!"

5-year-old Elizabeth was sent home after school officials made her take a questionnaire to evaluating her for suicidal thoughts, then had her sign the safety contract promising to contact an adult if she was thinking of suicide or homicide. This all happened while her mom waited in the lobby to pick her up, the upset parent told WPMI.

According to her mom, Elizabeth didn't know most of the words on the contract she signed. "Suicide," in particular, was a new one for her.

"Mommy, daddy, what is suicide?" Elizabeth's mother says she asked.

The school, E.R. Dickson Elementary, didn't respond to WPMI's request for comment on whether treating 5-year-olds as suicide risks is normal protocol in these situations.

Elizabeth's mom said school officials recommended the 5-year-old see a psychiatrist. She refused.

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/kindergartner-forced-sign-no-suicide-contract-n222641

What. The. F***. This is one of the stupidest things I have ever seen
 
Frat Busted for Keeping Pledges in Trash Cans Full of Freezing Water

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Delta Sigma Phi brothers at the University of Georgia could face criminal charges after they allegedly forced pledges into trash cans full of freezing water and made them recite fraternity history. UGA police chief Jimmy Williamson said yesterday, "We feel the events definitely put people at risk."

Cops got a tip about the alleged hazing incident that happened on September 26. Since then, they've tried to interview Delta Sigs about the incident, but most won't cooperate. Per the Athens Banner-Herald:

UGA police interviewed the pledges as well as some fraternity officers, or at least tried. "Most people are not willing to discuss it with the police department," Williamson said.

One of the pledges had visible injuries, but said they were sustained in a fall, the police chief said. Other pledges told police that they had been made to get into a trash can filled with ice water and recite fraternity history. The quicker they recited the history, the sooner they could get out of the water.


Total Frat Move picked up the story this morning and suggested that one of the pledges "told his mom" about the alleged hazing:

You may be wondering how the authorities were tipped off about this incident. In fact, some of you may have guessed. A pledge told his mom. Yeah, I know. F***ing pledges. He told his mom, his mom told the school, and you know how it went from there.

Yeah, f***ing pledges. UGA has suspended the frat while cops continue to investigate.

http://onlineathens.com/uga/2014-10-09/uga-frat-might-face-charges-alleged-hazing-incident

More wonderful reasons to join a frat
 
More wonderful reasons to join a frat


I always wanted to know...what's the appeal of joining? What's the appeal of physical and emotional scars...(opinion formed from a few friends...but they absolutely love it regardless...)?
 
I always wanted to know...what's the appeal of joining? What's the appeal of physical and emotional scars...(opinion formed from a few friends...but they absolutely love it regardless...)?

Supposedly they are going to give you all kinds of connections you can use throughout your career later in life. That's one of the alleged benefits. While living in a frat house they usually have a cook that makes their meals and room and board is part of what you pay for. A little known fact is that once a member of a frat you are expected to pay dues to them every year for the rest of your life for the privilege of being in the frat, sounds fun huh?
 
And made Pew Pew noises at someone with a crayon.
 
Georgia Parents Gave Two-Year-Old Alcoholic Drink, Which Was a Mistake

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A couple in Georgia was arrested and charged with cruelty to children in the first degree after allegedly giving their two-year-old son a mixed drink made of Coke and 40 proof Paul Masson Brandy.

The New York Daily News reports Jasmin Briana Moore and William Chester Hickson rushed their son to a nearby hospital after he stopped breathing and became unresponsive. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the child's blood alcohol concentration was 0.29—more than three times Georgia's limit for adult drivers.

Hickson was arrested on Monday and Moore was arrested a day later. They are both being held on a $75,000 bond.

http://www.ajc.com/news/news/cops-toddlers-alcohol-level-29-after-being-given-m/nhgTS/

The **** is wrong with these idiots?
 
Maybe giving a sip to make them stop bugging them? Maybe if it was a tiny bit. Giving them the entire thing when some adults couldn't handle that? That's probably attempted murder due to the amount of alcohol in a two year olds body potentially causing brain/liver damage.

Not a doctor or a lawyer so don't quote me on that. :p
 
Drunk Zombie Santa Terrorizes Minnesota Family, Pukes in Their House

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When two St. Paul teens heard the door to their house open Saturday night, they were expecting their parents. Instead, they got a drunken zombie Santa Claus who had apparently lost his way and broken into the residence. As one does.

A 14-year-old boy was doing the dishes when the door opened. He turned to find a man "dressed like Santa," but with "a zombie head. The boy immediately ran out of the house to tell neighbors and call police, while his 16-year-old sister locked herself in the bathroom and phoned her parents, the Twin Cities Pioneer Press reported.

When cops arrived, they found the jolly, undead old elf sleeping in his own vomit and booked him for trespassing. He was later identified as 21-year-old University of St. Thomas senior Brock Quinn Johnson.

It's not entirely clear where Johnson was coming from that night. The Pioneer Press reported there was a zombie bar crawl in Minneapolis earlier that evening, and it was also homecoming weekend at St. Thomas, which is just south of the house where Johnson passed out.

http://www.twincities.com/education/ci_26718687/drunken-zombie-santa-claus-woken-strangers-st-paul

It's stories like this that make me glad I quit drinking
 
Horny Teen Caught Making Love to Stuffed Horse in Walmart Bedding Dept

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Teen boys: there's no telling where their libidos might take them. Nineteen-year-old Floridian Sean Johnson's took him to the stuffed animal section of a Tampa-area Walmart, then to its bedding department, then back to the stuffed animal section, and then to jail.

Yesterday, Johnson was observed removing a stuffed horse from the shelf of the Brooksville, Fla., Walmart, taking it to the store's beds, and using it to *********e. When he was finished, he allegedly put the now-semen-covered toy back on the shelf, and exited. He was promptly arrested in the parking lot.

The police report, via the Smoking Gun, reads:

Officers of the Brooksville Police Department Patrol Divisiion responded to Walmart in reference to an indecent exposure complaint. Store Loss Prevention observed JOHNSON acting suspiciously by constantly looking around. They observed him select a stuffed horse toy and go to the bedding department. JOHNSON was then observed *********e (sic) using the stuffed animal. He then put the toy that was now covered in ejaculate back on the shelf with other items. As a result the items were contaminated and unsellable.

He was charged with indecent exposure and released from Hernando County Jail on $1500 bond last night.

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/walmart-stuffed-animal-defiler-657903

This kid has problems
 
Pizza Hut Customer Says They Called Her "Pink Fat Lady" on a Receipt

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A "plus size" Pizza Hut customer in Singapore says the company disrespected her when an employee referred to her as "Pink Fat Lady" on her takeout receipt.

"Just feel insulted. What's wrong being plus size? I'm a customer n I pay for my pizza!" wrote Aili Si on Facebook Sunday, under a photo of the receipt for two pizzas and the handwritten insult.

The Facebook post blew up overnight, and now has hundreds of comments, mostly from supporters of Pink Fat Lady. Pizza Hut Singapore also left its official response:

This definitely rocked us in our seats. That should not have happened at all and we feel that we cannot begin to appropriately apologise to you at this point, but we are, indeed, sorry for this. We're glad you brought this to our attention. Our team is keen on finding out further details of this incident in order to launch an investigation.

The company also left a corporate-speak apology on its own Facebook page, where the comments are not quite so supportive, telling Si that she deserved what she got and accusing her of fabricating the whole thing to score some free pizza.

https://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/wha...-message-on-customer-s-receipt-000900073.html

If true that is a pretty ***hole thing to write on her receipt
 
Underage Idiot Bros Go to Police Station Drunk to Get Their Drunk Pal

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Three underage stooges got themselves booked into jail this weekend for possession of alcohol in Indianapolis after a rescue mission went awry. In the wee hours of Sunday morning, Hanni Bichir, 20, and Triston Burton, 19, drunkenly presented themselves to police at the local jail, which was already housing their friend.

Fox 59 reports that Bichir and Burton showed up to the Johnson County police station looking for their friend, who was arrested for underage drinking earlier in the night. They "waved at deputies through a window" and were quickly apprehended after cops determined they were drunk. Bichir blew a .161 and Burton blew a .135. "After explaining why it wasn't wise to go to a police station drunk," Fox 59 reports, "officers arrested the men and took them into the jail."

Sherriff Doug Cox told the Indy Star, "These two might qualify for the television show of dumbest offenders," which is mean but fair. At least they got to meet their friend!

http://fox59.com/2014/10/12/johnson-county-men-arrested-for-showing-up-drunk-to-bail-out-friend/

So freaking stupid
 
Teenage Girl Hacks Friend's Fingers Off With Ax in Satanical Sacrifice

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A teenager is in police custody after she allegedly took a 10-year-old friend on a playdate from hell last week.

Czech police say 15-year-old Alena Skrivankova told 10-year-old Jitka Svehlova's parents that the pair were going to a nearby wood "to play."

Instead, the teen allegedly tied the young girl to a tree and used an ax to slice her fingers. Police say the 10-year-old broke free mid-attack and ran home.

According to the Mirror, Skrivankova was still at the crime scene when police arrived:

A police spokesman said: "Somehow the younger girl managed to escape and her horrified parents called the police.

"When officers arrived at the scene they found the older girl sitting on the ground with the axe in one hand and the severed fingers in the other.

"This is a deeply disturbing case."


Skrivankova apparently told responding officers she attacked her friend as a sacrifice to Satan. She is being held pending a psychiatric assessment.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/teenage-girl-cuts-playmates-fingers-4428942

Psycho much?
 
UPDATE: Michael Dunn Sentenced to Life Without Parole for Killing Jordan Davis

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Michael Dunn was sentenced to life in prison without parole Friday morning for killing 17-year-old Jordan Davis in November 2012. Dunn, who murdered Davis over a dispute about loud "thug music" coming from a car the teen was sitting in, issued a halfhearted non-apology to Davis' family before the sentencing.

"I want the Davis family to know I truly regret what happened. I'm sorry for their loss," Dunn said during his 25-second long statement. "If I could roll back time and do things differently, I would."

"I was in fear for my life and I did what I thought I had to do," he added. "Still, I am mortified I took a life, whether it was justified or not."

Judge Russell Healey obviously disagreed. "Our justice system works," he said at the sentencing. "This case demonstrates that our justice system does work."

http://www.news4jax.com/news/michael-dunns-sentencing-hearing-scheduled-for-friday-morning/29185992

Glad they put this idiot away for good
 
Joe Biden's Son Was Kicked Out Of the Navy for Doing Cocaine

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According to the Wall Street Journal, one of Joe Biden's sons was kicked out of the Navy reserves last year after he tested positive for cocaine less than a month after joining.

Hunter Biden—who currently runs an investment firm, sits on the board of a Ukranian gas company, and, occasionally, snorts cocaine—was only doing the military thing one weekend a month. He appears to have made it exactly one month as a commissioned ensign.

Hunter reportedly had to obtain a drug waiver to join the Navy reserves in the first place due to a youthful indiscretion, a preliminary military officers told the Journal is common. Though Hunter did not have a military education, he was fast-tracked for commission through a Navy-civilian program.

Hunter apparently joined up at age 43, officially, to follow in his grandfathers' footsteps. The Journal gently points out other possible motivators:

The vice president and his wife, Jill Biden, speak regularly about the pride they take in being a military family, often referring to son Beau Biden's time in the Delaware Army National Guard and his yearlong deployment to Iraq.

According to the Journal, Biden made a prescient joke about his son's military career at a fundraiser in January, 2013.

"We have a lot of bad judgment in my family," he reportedly said. "My son, who is over 40, just joined the United States Navy."

http://online.wsj.com/articles/bide...reserve-after-failing-cocaine-test-1413499657

Idiot
 
Man Goes For McDouble, Jerks Off Twice in McDonald's Drive-Thru

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Cory D. Peterson, 45, of Bay City, Mich., was sentenced by a judge to two years probation Monday after pleading no contest to an indecent exposure charge from an incident in September where he exposed himself to female employees in the drive-thru of a McDonald's.

The Bay City Times reports that Peterson, a registered sex offender following a 2003 criminal sexual conduct conviction, drove up to the window of a Bay City McDonald's and ordered a McDouble. When the employee working the booth—the store's manager—returned to hand Peterson his change, she saw that he had exposed himself and was *********ing.

According to the police report obtained by the Bay City Times, the manager told officers, "I was in shock when I saw it. He said, 'Have a nice day.' Then he drove away."

Peterson then reportedly circled back minutes later, driving through and ordering from the window again. He exposed himself and *********ed in front of another female employee, who alerted the manager. They had Peterson park, telling him they were waiting on fries to finish cooking, while they called police. Officers reportedly found Peterson in his parked car with his pants unzipped.

In addition to his probation, Peterson will have to pay $1,535 in court fines and will be required to enter an outpatient sex offender rehabilitation program.

http://www.mlive.com/news/bay-city/index.ssf/2014/10/bay_city_sex_offender_gets_pro.html

The old pull up and wait for your fries while we call the cops trick eh?
 
John Grisham: Let's Give Old White Guys Who Look at Child Porn a Break

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Bestselling author and real life attorney John Grisham recently told an interviewer that the law really needs to start distinguishing between real pedophiles and sixty-year-old white men who get drunk and download child porn, or whatever.

"We have prisons now filled with guys my age, 60-year-old white men in prison who've never harmed anybody, would never touch a child, but they got online one night and started surfing around, probably had too much to drink or whatever," Grisham told the Telegraph. "They haven't hurt anybody, ok? They deserve some type of punishment, whatever. But ten years in prison?"

He explained:

A friend of mine, ten years ago, was drinking. His drinking was out of control. And he went to a website—it was labeled, 16-year-old wannabe hookers, or something, some stupid website. And it said, 16-year-old girls. So he went there. Downloaded some stuff. It was 16-year-old girls who looked 30. You know, they were all dressed up and whatever. He shouldn't have done it, it was stupid. But it wasn't 10-year-old boys and he didn't touch anything. And golly, a week later there was a knock on the door. FBI. And it was a sting set up by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to catch people—sex offenders. And he went to prison for three years.

Grisham, who said he would have no sympathy for "a real pedophile," emphasized that old white men who only halfheartedly download child porn while drunk really deserve a break.

"There's so many of them now, so many sex offenders—that's what they're called—that they put them in the same prison, like they're a bunch of perverts or something," he said.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/wor...-gone-nuts-with-locking-up-sex-offenders.html

**** this guy
 
World's Worst Teen Left Waitress a Tip Covered in Poop

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A terrible teenager was arrested this week in Indiana after he decided to give a waitress the world's most disgusting tip.

According to the Ball State Daily, the unnamed minor was having lunch with three university football players at the Brothers Bar & Grill where, according to reports, they generally behaved like ***holes.

The suspect, a 17 year old, left their table, which was also occupied by the three Ball State football players, and went into the bathroom after their waitress gave him his bill, according to the police report. After returning to the table he put the money into the black folder, according to police who sourced a security video of the event.

The group's waitress told police she saw the suspect laughing when she picked up the check and smelled a "foul odor." She said two of the bills were covered in a brown substance that she later realized was fecal matter.


The waitress called police, and the teen—who improbably stuck around the restaurant after handing a folder of his own poop to an employee—was arrested. He was charged with battery with bodily waste in juvenile court.

http://www.ballstatedaily.com/article/2014/10/feces-money-at-brothers

What a little prick
 

It's stories like this that make me glad I quit drinking


Well, drinking alcohol and getting drunk ( and lose control ) are two different things. Did you stop driving because other people had car accident ? Of course if you can't control yourself with alcohol it's better to stop.
 
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