Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread - Part 2

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Serial Train *********or Arrested, May Have Jerked Off on 100 Women

A 40-year-old contract worker was arrested in Tokyo Thursday after police matched his DNA to semen found on an 18-year-old schoolgirl's skirt while she was riding the Japan Rail Sobu line. The serial ******* artist is suspected in around 110 similar incidents on Tokyo trains over the past few years, the Asahi Shimbun reports.

Tetsuya Fukuda admitted to wiping his fluids on female train passengers about 2 or 3 times a month since 2011. He first became a suspect after the incident with the schoolgirl last December, according to Asahi Shimbun.

Tokyo Metropolitan Police believe Fukuda cut holes in his jacket pockets so he could more discreetly fiddle with his dick on public transit.

“I get excited when in close contact with a woman on a crowded train,” he allegedly told police, according to TBS News.

He's been charged with vandalism—apparently for damaging the skirt.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/train-passenger-ejaculated-more-100-5491522

I wonder what it takes to get arrested as a sex offender in Japan?

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

This Craigslist Ad for a Genetic Engineer Is Pure Wonderful Madness

I have loved a lot of Craigslist ads in my time, but I truly love this one the most. It sounds like a plot ripped from The Avengers or Fantastic Four, crossed with VC-funded biotech startup madness.

Here’s what the ad says:

I am a billionaire who needs help creating a mouth wash.solution.gum with CRISPR-Cas9 containing viruses that will change specific genetic loci in my cheek epithelial cells to prevent a positive match against DNA found at the scene of a crime (my DNA was planted by a Doctor who is Doomed).

Skills Required

*CRISPR-Cas9 engineering of mammalian epithelial cells

*Experience in DNA forensics

*Experience with Robotics

*Between 5’9” and 6’0” in height and medium build in case I need you to wear a custom built “suit”

*Must code in Python, Haha, joking, we will write everything in C and Assembly

Ph.D. preferred.

Non-Drinkers preferred (I am a recovering alcoholic)

EMT Certified preferred. Please send CV.​

So the “custom built suit” does sound awfully Tony Stark, but sometimes truth imitates fiction, OK? Plus, anybody who makes sarcastic jokes about C and Assembly programming has to be for real.

The real question is: Why does this billionaire need a “CRISPR-Cas9” engineer? Presumably to do gene splicing or alteration of some kind. CRISPR is a genetic engineering system, and Cas9 is a protein that’s used to cut DNA in a very exact spot. The combination of the two things suggests somebody who — well — wants to alter their DNA.

As George Dvorsky explains over at io9, CRISPR was one of the breakthrough genetic engineering technologies in 2013:

CRISPR works by targeting and eliminating specific DNA sequences with matching strands of RNA. What’s more, the system is easily manipulated – since researchers first reported harnessing the system in January,writes Elizabeth Pennisi in a perspective piece for Science, “various groups have used it to delete, add, activate or suppress targeted genes in human cells, mice, rats, zebrafish, bacteria, fruit flies, yeast, nematodes and crops, demonstrating broad utility for the technique.” For scientists in search of new tools, few qualities are more important than versatility and ease of use. CRISPR has both – and, some say, the potential to revolutionize the field of molecular biology.​

Really glad to see that the compensation for this gig, according to the ad, is going to be “competitive.”

I hope that this billionaire finds a genetic engineer to aid in the fight against a “Doctor who is Doomed.” Please don’t let this be a weak Marvel ARG or viral campaign. That would destroy all my faith in humanity.

http://gizmodo.com/this-craigslist-ad-for-a-genetic-engineer-is-pure-wonde-1696930224

So stupid it's brilliant. Honestly part of me hopes this guy is completely serious

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Mary Kay Letourneau Wants To "Return To Teaching"

Last night Mary Kay Letourneau - the Seattle teacher convicted of two counts of felony second degree rape of a child - and her former student/victim/now husband,Vili Fualaau, sat down with Barbara Walters to detail their ten year marriage.

The couple married in 2004, after Letourneau served two prison sentences equaling about eight years. During that time, Letourneau gave birth to two children, both Fualaau’s who are now teenagers, they appeared with their parents during the interview.

Via ABC:

Their two teenage girls, who are in the same school district where Mary used to teach, said their parents have told them how they met, and they knew their mother was different from others when their interaction was limited to prison visits. But the girls seem unfazed by the controversial circumstances of how their family was formed.

“There was never a sit-down chat: ‘Now is the time we’re going to talk to our children about this,” Mary said. “They seemed to already know ... because they grew up with it. ... There’s just never been a, ‘Wow, we better explain.’”

Fualaau and Letourneau also spoke about their lives post-marriage: from the challenges of stepchildren (Letourneau has four children from her first marriage) to work and “getting on track with life.”​

Fualaau works as a DJ, and then there’s this:

Mary is working as a legal assistant but hopes she can return to teaching. Her teaching license was revoked during the scandal, but she has now started tutoring and giving piano lessons. She is still registered as a sex offender, but is trying to get her name removed from the registry.​

http://abcnews.go.com/US/mary-kay-letourneau-fualaau-vili-fualaau-detail-path/story?id=30160737

She just wants to go back to teaching to find another lover since her husband is getting up there in age

 

[blksuperman2]

This Craigslist Ad for a Genetic Engineer Is Pure Wonderful Madness

http://gizmodo.com/this-craigslist-ad-for-a-genetic-engineer-is-pure-wonde-1696930224

So stupid it's brilliant. Honestly part of me hopes this guy is completely serious

Wrong thread man. This should be in the "People who are either totally awesome or complete Trolls thread".

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Mother of Quadriplegic Man Left in Woods Taken Into Police Custody

Maryland police have arrested the Philadelphia woman accused of abandoning her quadriplegic son with cerebral palsy in the woods for over five days, NBC Philadelphia reports. Police say Nyia Parler, 41, left her son on Monday morning with just a blanket and a Bible.

Parler's son, who officials described as non-verbal, was found on Friday night, the Associated Press reports.

"She pushes him about 150 yards from the highway into the wooded area, takes him out of wheelchair, lays him on the ground, puts a blanket over him and leaves a Bible with him, and then just walks away," Lt. John Walker of the Southwest Detectives division said.

"It's only by the grace of God that he survived this."

According to NBC Philadelphia, Parler is expected to be charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, reckless endangerment, neglect of a care-dependent person, unlawful restraint, kidnapping and false imprisonment.

Parler was taken to the hospital for unknown reasons following her arrest on Sunday morning by Montgomery County sheriff's deputies. She had reportedly left Philadelphia to visit her boyfriend.

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news...-Abandoned-in-Cobbs-Creek-Park-299485111.html

What a messed up mother

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Police Accuse Nelly of Still Existing, Possessing Meth

Hip-hop artist Nelly, best known for his 2002 climate change anthem "Hot in Herre," was arrested in Tennessee on felony drug charges yesterday, thus confirming the St. Lunatic's continued existence well into the current decade.

According to the Associated Press, state troopers searched the rapper's tour bus after smelling marijuana during a routine traffic stop Saturday morning, finding meth, "numerous" handguns and a small amount of weed. From The Tennessee Department of Safety and Homeland Security:

The troopers discovered in the sleeper area a plastic bag that contained five colored crystal-type rocks that tested positive for methamphetamine, as well as a small amount of marijuana and other drug paraphernalia. Further investigation revealed approximately 100 small Ziploc bags that are commonly associated with the sale of narcotics and numerous handguns, including a gold-plated 50-caliber Desert Eagle pistol, a 45-caliber [Taurus] pistol, and a 500 magnum Smith and Wesson.​

The 40-year-old shirt-shirker born Cornell Haynes has been charged with felony possession of drugs, simple possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. Already out on a $10,000 bond, Haynes is due back in court this June to explain why he does live this way.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/a76d...d-reality-tv-star-nelly-arrested-drug-charges

I bet he's thinking about it over and over again

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Two College Students Charged After Spring Break Gang Rape

Two college students have been arrested in connection with what authorities are describing as a gang rape that took place during spring break at Panama City Beach, Florida last month, NBC News reports. Police said that hundreds of bystanders did nothing to stop the assault.

According to NBC, police in Troy, Alabama arrested Troy University students Delonte Martistee, 22, and Ryan Austin Calhoun, 23 after discovering a video of the rape while investigating an unrelated shooting.

At a press conference on Friday, Bay County Sheriff Frank McKeithen announced the students' arrest in connection with a sexual battery by multiple perpetrators, the Panama City News Herald reports. The incident took place between March 10-12 behind the Spinnaker Beach Club.

"This is happening in broad daylight with hundreds of people seeing and hearing what is happening, and they are more concerned about spilling their beer than somebody being raped," McKeithen said. "This is such a traumatizing event for this girl. No one should have to fear this would happen in Panama City Beach, but it does."

Police said that the 19-year-old victim did not report the incident at the time because she did not remember it and that she believes she had been drugged, the News Herald reports.

"This draws the line in the sand for us," McKeithen said. "It is not safe for our children on the beach."

CNN reports that Troy University has placed Martistee and Calhoun on temporary suspension from the school, and that Martistee has been removed from the track team, of which he was a member.

Both men appeared in court on Saturday morning in Bay County, NBC affiliate WJHG reports. Their bonds were set at $50,000. Police are still looking for a third suspect shown assaulting the woman in the video.

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/2-college-students-charged-gang-rape-florida-beach-n339941

I hope these losers enjoy being raped in prison

 

[XtremelyBaneful]

"Just because it is rated Mature doesn't mean you shouldn't buy it for your kids,"

uhh, yes it does. you're saying ratings are absolutely pointless. well, it is for those parents making the dumbass decision of buying M games for their kids.

http://www.gamespot.com/articles/50-cent-buy-my-game-for-kids/1100-6140323/

 

[KevanG]

Just because he's rich doesn't mean he's smart.

 

[Marvolo]

I've been playing M rated games since I was 11, and I turned out fine. I think I get what he is saying, tho. Games can be rated Mature for different things. In the case of his game it's rated Mature because of lyrics. Lyrics that kids will have already heard or can hear on YouTube, Pandora, spotify etc. So in this case it's not anymore more kid unfriendly than a radio. So people shouldn't avoid his game because of that Mature rating...they should avoid it causes it's a feking 50cent game.

 

[XtremelyBaneful]

I've been playing M rated games since I was 11, and I turned out fine. I think I get what he is saying, tho. Games can be rated Mature for different things. In the case of his game it's rated Mature because of lyrics. Lyrics that kids will have already heard or can hear on YouTube, Pandora, spotify etc. So in this case it's not anymore more kid unfriendly than a radio. So people shouldn't avoid his game because of that Mature rating...they should avoid it causes it's a feking 50cent game.

haha

I get what you're saying, man. Same here. I'm sure you watched R rated films at that age too, yeah? I did too. In the case of video games though, I still don't think that's right, that it is justice. In the same way, I don't like how youtube doesn't censor inappropriate music videos, but will censor videos like "the cat saved the kid" video. I find it to be extremely flawed.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

David Miscavige Also Hired Fake Friends for His Suppressive Dad

According to the private investigator allegedly hired to spy on David Miscavige's elderly father, the petite Scientologist even went so far as to hire fake friends for the suppressive old man.

Via the New York Daily News, Miscavige was apparently motivated by worries that the old man might do something rash after he was kicked out of the church:

Florida gumshoe Dwayne Powell, 42, told Wisconsin cops he also had orders to recruit fake friends for the 70-something church elder who left the secretive religion on bad terms, police documents obtained by the Daily News reveal.

Powell told West Allis Police that his employers wanted the bogus buddies to secretly infiltrate the personal lives of Ronald Miscavige Sr. and his wife Becky to gain their trust and provide intelligence.​

Always nice to see a kid go above and beyond for his parents!

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...-fake-friends-miscavige-dad-article-1.2179995

I really hate that guy

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Shooting Suspect Will Turn Himself In When He's Good and Ready

A man suspected of injuring three children in an Indiana apartment shooting last week tells authorities he'll turn himself in eventually, but not before taking some time "to chill this weekend."

Cops have been searching for 24-year-old Domonique Stone, who is one of three men believed to be involved in the "high-powered assault rifle" shooting that landed five people in the hospital with serious injuries.

Stone—who cops say should be considered armed and dangerous—has reportedly been eluding authorities via his supremely chill lifestyle.

Metro police are still trying to track down a man wanted for a shooting that injured five people last weekend, including three children.

They say he refuses to surrender and should be considered armed and dangerous.

Domonique Stone, 24, is wanted on several warrants. Investigators said they received a tip Stone plans to turn himself in, but not until next week because he wants "to chill this weekend."​

And who could blame him for wanting to unwind a little after a stressful weekend of shooting kids? The cops, for sure, but they're not chill. That's cool brah.

http://www.wthr.com/story/28779936/...hill-this-weekend-will-turn-himself-next-week

This kid has balls

 

[Marvolo]

He knows he is going away for a long time. (As he should.) He might as well take some time and enjoy his last weekend as a free person.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man Takes Girlfriend on TV to Accuse Her of F***ing Wit the Wu-Tang Clan

[YT]fB_FZa8SNic[/YT]

"This sounds ridiculous," explains the woman whose boyfriend brought her on Divorce Court to accuse her of sleeping with the entire Wu-Tang Clan backstage at a show.

And it does sound ridiculous! Until she tells the story, which, to be fair, sounds pretty much like what someone who slept with the entire Wu-Tang clan might say.

Basically what happened is I met Wu-Tang , I got on their tour bus, I went back to the hotel and I was just hanging out ALL NIGHT. And it was amazing, I mean, we were not doing anything but talking, politicking, we were talking about politics... I lost track of time, and I didn't really look at the time, and all of the sudden I look at my clock and it's seven in the morning and I was like, "I've got to get out of here," and I jump in a taxi and I went home immediately, and as soon as I get home I get approached by Nate and he starts accusing me of sleeping with them all.​

It's unclear who lost the Divorce Court episode (hint—both of them did), but the boyfriend continues to insist "She gave Wu some tang." Sad these crazy kids couldn't make it work.

http://gawker.com/man-takes-girlfriend-on-tv-to-accuse-her-of-****ing-wit-1697382690

That's hilarious

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Georgian Chess Grandmaster Caught Cheating at Tournament in Dubai

Georgian chess champion and grandmaster Gaioz Nigalidze has been thrown out of the Dubai Open Chess Tournament after he was caught cheating, the Daily Mail reports. Nigalidze was found to have been checking moves on a phone hidden in the bathroom.

According to the Mail, Nigalidze's opponent in the sixth round of the tournament—Armenia's Tigran Petrosian—grew suspicious when the two-time Georgian national champion kept getting up to go to the bathroom between moves.

"Nigalidze would promptly reply to my moves and then literally run to the toilet," Petrosian said. "I noticed that he would always visit the same toilet partition, which was strange, since two other partitions weren't occupied."

"I informed the chief arbiter about my growing suspicions and asked him to keep an eye on Gaioz."

Officials checked the stall to which Nigalidze kept returning and found a phone hidden under toilet paper. It was running a chess-analysis app. Nigalidze denied ownership of the phone, the Mail reports, but it was logged into a social network under his name.

According to Dubai Chess, the tournament’s chief arbiter Mahdi Abdul Rahim will send a report on the incident to the International Chess Federation. Players found guilty of cheating face a three-year suspension from all sanctioned tournaments; repeat offenders face a 15-year suspension.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...tml?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490

He was super subtle about cheating, can't believe he got caught

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Vietnam Vet Denied Custom License Plate Featuring the Sex Number

The Utah Division of Motor Vehicles has denied a Vietnam War veteran a license plate he requested with the number "69," signifying the year in which he was awarded the Purple Heart, the Spectrum reports. The number has sexual connotations.

According to the Spectrum, Arnold Breitenbach was a gunner on an armored personnel carrier. He received the Purple Heart in 1969 for hearing damage sustained during a rocket-propelled grenade attack. Breitenbach also received the Combat Infantryman's Badge—the full text of the license plate he requested was CIB-69.

Breitenbach's request was initially denied in November 2013. He appealed the decision.

"I figured in today's day and age, when President (Bill) Clinton can have all that stuff going on in the Oval Office and he says that what he did wasn't really sex with that woman, (it's odd) to be turned down because this is so offensive to the citizens of Utah," he told the Spectrum.

"While your intended meaning behind the requested plate, CIB-69, is honorable, the Division of Motor Vehicles is required to follow Utah law when approving personalized plates," DMV Audit Manager Sherri Murray wrote in 2013.

"Administrative Rule R873-22M-34 is clear regarding the use of '69' on personalized plates – '69' formats are prohibited unless used in a combination with the vehicle make, model, style, type, or commonly used or readily understood abbreviations of those terms."

Breitenbach's appeal was denied in January.

"They've got Viagra (ads) all over the place," the vet said. "I can't imagine myself sitting on the sofa with my parents when I was a little kid having something like that on TV. In today's day and age, it seems like everything is out in the open."

http://www.thespectrum.com/story/news/local/2015/04/10/vietnam-vet-loses-bid-license-plate/25610221/

That is dumb as hell

 

[Victarion]

I've been playing M rated games since I was 11, and I turned out fine. I think I get what he is saying, tho. Games can be rated Mature for different things. In the case of his game it's rated Mature because of lyrics. Lyrics that kids will have already heard or can hear on YouTube, Pandora, spotify etc. So in this case it's not anymore more kid unfriendly than a radio. So people shouldn't avoid his game because of that Mature rating...they should avoid it causes it's a feking 50cent game.

Same for me. Plus the kid's probably gonna hear it on the playground.

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Dumbass Mom Reportedly Dangled Toddler Over Cheetah Pit Before Fall

Offering another clear example of why we can't have nice (probably unethical) things, the mother of a two-year-old who fell into a zoo's cheetah enclosure yesterday is accused of dangling the boy over the exhibit beforehand.

According to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo's executive director, witnesses say the child was "held over the railing and then dropped," reportedly falling between 10 and 12 feet.

"You just hear these screams, then all you could see is the adult that jumped in, got the child and then somebody pulled him out," an eyewitness told WJW.

After being pulled from the cheetah pit, the toddler was reportedly sent to an area hospital with a leg injury.

In a statement, the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo said it plans to file child endangerment charges against the boy's parents and that the cheetahs did not "attempt to interact" with the child.

"I think they were just curious as to what was going on and why somebody was in the pen with them because it's not every day that somebody is just in the pen with them," a zoo visitor told WKYC. "And everyone else is screaming and they probably got scared."

Poor kitties.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/626c...angling-toddler-over-cheetah-pit-when-he-fell

How stupid can you be?

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Teen Bathes in Pig Blood to Preserve Youth

Meet Chanel, a 19-year-old "freelance model, actress," and wrestling ring girl who lives in California and is so obsessed with staying young that she agreed to be profiled in MTV's True Life: I'm Obsessed with Staying Young. Chanel has "eaten a baby's placenta" and undergoes hours of beauty treatments a day to keep her supple young skin looking that way. A particularly intricate, especially harebrained stay-young-quick scheme involved bathing in pig blood like people did "thousands of years ago and...it worked." MTV's cameras captured her adventure.

Chanel's foil was her grandmother Lois, who called ******** on Chanel throughout the episode. She asked for "documentation" regarding the history of pig-blood therapy. "That blood is not clean! Suppose you have a scratch. If you get a disease that an animal has, you gonna puzzle your doctor!" argued Lois. Then when Chanel called Lois into the bathroom during the long blood bath sequence (see above) and labeled Lois's willingness to help cover her with pig blood as "real love," Lois retorted, "Thank you for defining it for me." More like True Life: I Have a Smart Grandmother Who's Funny as ****.

The entire episode is online. I recommend it heartily so that you can get to know Chanel better and also meet the episode's other subject, Marcus, a 25-year-old who turns tricks to pay for Botox and also appears in a porn video to preserve his youth for all eternity via the internet.

Nowhere in these episode do either of these people talk about eating blueberries, drinking water, or exercising to stay young. Young people are such fools.

http://www.mtv.com/shows/truelife/true-life-im-obsessed-with-staying-young/1735427/playlist/

Full episode at the link. She is crazy

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man Slices Up Trio of Alleged Burglars With Decorative Samurai Sword

An Argentine steelworker and his wife were awoken early Friday morning by a gang of armed burglars looting their house. Two of the three men had guns, but they didn't get a chance to use them before the sleepy homeowner took a samurai sword off the wall and savagely "smote them in the arms" with it.

The wounded thieves managed to flee in a car after taking around $400 in cash, but lost a fair amount of blood in the process.

Córdoba police found the getaway car had hit a tree in a nearby neighborhood, and tracked a trail of blood to the family home of one of the suspects. Two of the bleeding burglars were arrested, along with another man and a woman. One had lost part of an ear and had deep wounds on his face, while the other had cuts on his arms, according to La Voz.

The third robber, who also suffered deep cuts to his arms, was picked up while trying to get treatment in a clinic a nearby town. None of the injuries in the case are life-threatening.

Police have ordered a psychiatric evaluation for the katana-wielding maniac, who the Daily Mail names as Dias Costa, 49. His relatives told La Voz he's no martial artist, and the two swords he owns were purely for decoration until the Friday incident.

The three burglars are "in the hospital emergency room," Diario24 reports. The fourth man, possibly the getaway driver, is in jail on grand theft charges; and the woman is being detained as an accessory.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...e-victim-fought-back.html?ito=social-facebook

Hell yeah, that is awesome

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Cookie Monster Arrested in Times Square for Allegedly Groping Teenager

The prayers of the deranged have been answered: Crime is back in Times Square. On Sunday, a man dressed as Cookie Monster was arrested in the Midtown hellhole after allegedly groping a 16-year-old tourist.

According to an NYPD spokesperson who spoke with Gothamist, the teen was walking with a tour group when 48-year-old Ranulfo Perez, dressed in a Cookie Monster costume, "pulled the victim into a hug and forcibly touched her breasts.” Perez was arrested and charged with forcible touching in a manner injurious to a child less than 17 and second degree harassment.

The arrest is just the latest in what can only be described as a plague of costumed crime. Last year, according to Gothamist, 18 characters were arrested, including at least two Elmos , a pair of Iron Men , and several Spider-Men . In 2013, an Elmo allegedly shoved a toddler and a Spider-Man allegedly punched a snowball-wielding mom. And, of course, in 2012 there was the infamous Jew-hating Elmo of Central Park.

What’s to be done about these copyright-infringing thugs? Perhaps another public summit with the NYPD is in order. There's also a push from some city council members to require the costumed entertainers to pay a registration fee, though prominent members of the industry—principally The Joker—have criticized the proposed bill as “fascism” and a violation of the First Amendment.

http://gothamist.com/2015/04/14/cookie_monster_gropes_teen.php

Seems like any crazy person can buy a costume and head to NYC

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

North Carolina Community College Shooter Nabbed in Florida After Manhunt

Kenneth Morgan Stancil III was arrested by police in Florida Tuesday morning in connection with yesterday's shooting at Wayne County Community College in Goldsboro, N.C., where one person was killed .

Stancil, 20, reportedly entered the third floor of the school's Wayne Learning Center around 8 a.m. Monday with a long rifle and fired one shot, killing Ron Lane, who was the manager of the center's print shop for the past 18 years. Following a manhunt, Stancil was arrested by police in Florida early Tuesday, and was apparently found sleeping on a bench. From WRAL:

Stancil was arrested at about 1:20 a.m. Tuesday in Daytona Beach after deputies from the Volusia County Beach Patrol approached him for violating an ordinance that prohibits sleeping on the beach. Stancil was carrying a knife at the time of his arrest, but he was taken into custody without incident, Goldsboro police said.​

According to WTVD, Lane had fired Stancil from the print shop; Stancil's mother, Debbie, told WNCN that Lane had “made inappropriate sexual advances toward" her son.

http://www.wral.com/man-wanted-in-wayne-community-college-shooting-arrested-in-florida/14580894/

Sad that the only reason he got caught was for sleeping on a bench, I guess weirdos like him don't really stick out in FL

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Man Blames Armadillo After Accidentally Shooting Mother-In-Law

Credulous authorities say a dead armadillo is responsible for a bizarre accidental shooting in Georgia after a bullet allegedly ricocheted off the animal and into the shooter's mother-in-law.

According to insufficiently suspicious police, Larry McElroy was aiming for the critter when he fired the round that followed a 100-yard-long, Warren Commission-approved path into 74-year-old Carol Johnson's back. From WALB-TV:

Lee County Sheriff's deputies said 54-year-old Larry McElroy was outside when he fired his 9 mm pistol at the armadillo. The bullet killed the animal, but also ricocheted off of it, hit a fence, went through the back door of his mother-in-law's mobile home, through a recliner she was sitting in, and into her back.​

Johnson was not severely injured, the station reports.

"Just the circumstances, just all the way around, the whole situation was unusual," said Investigator Bill Smith, who would apparently rather share firearm suggestions than investigate anything.

"I really think if they're going to shoot at varmints and whatnot, maybe use a shotgun... with a spread pattern with a lot less range," Smith said.

http://www.walb.com/story/28786983/man-shoots-at-armadillo-bullet-hits-mother-in-law

More geniuses with firearms

 

[DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs]

Plane Makes Emergency Landing After Screams Heard From Cargo Hold

After less than 10 minutes in the air, an Alaska Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing on Monday when a napping baggage handler woke up in the plane's cargo hold and began banging and screaming.
In an official statement, the airline confirmed that the L.A.-bound flight returned to Seattle when the pilot "reported hearing banging from beneath the aircraft" immediately after takeoff. According to KIRO-TV reporter Alison Grande, passengers also heard screaming.

Upon landing, an airport employee walked out of the plane's pressurized and temperature-controlled front cargo hold, reportedly telling authorities "he had fallen asleep." The man was then taken to a local hospital as a precaution and released shortly afterward.

Alaska Airlines says they are "actively investigating" the incident.

http://www.wpxi.com/news/news/national/screaming-heard-cargo-area-plane-seatac-aircraft-d/nksmP/

They only hire the best and brightest to handle luggage at the airport