Stupid People Doing Stupid Things Thread - Part 2

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Chipotle's Anti-GMO Stance Is Some Anti-Science Pandering BS

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Chipotle, a company known for making oversized burritos and publishing literary fiction on items of trash, announced today that it has stopped serving food made from genetically modified organisms (GMOs). Oh hooray, yet another victory for misinformation.

There is a broad scientific consensus that genetic modification is a safe and likely necessary technology for feeding the world’s growing population. But lots of organic-minded people are still unwilling to accept the stance. Sure, Chipotle is giving people a choice here, but it’s also capitulating to the idea there is something fundamentally wrong with GMOs—while burnishing its own corporate image.

Here’s why Chipotle’s move especially smells like pandering BS. For the past couple of years, Chipotle has been getting its suppliers to get rid of GM corn and soybean. Today’s “GMO-free” announcement comes as Chipotle has switched over to non-GMO corn and soybean oil, but it still serves chicken and pork from animals raised on GMO feed. (Its beef comes from pasture-fed cows.) A good chunk of the GM corn and soybeans grown in America actually goes to feed livestock, so a truly principled stance against GMOs should cut out meat from GM-fed animals, too.

Any guesses why Chipotle hasn’t stopped serving GMO-fed chicken and pork? Because it’s not economical to do so. What is good for business, though? Declaring yourself GMO-free for publicity points.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/27/business/chipotle-to-stop-serving-genetically-altered-food.html

Anti-GMO people are just plain stupid
 
I wish we'd stop pandering to stupidity.
 

*Sigh* He's someone that likes to take the buzzwords of the day/month/whenever he thinks it's a good idea and try and make people feel that he'd make them safe. It's like he has no opinions of his own but what his people feed him so we see him talking about gay marriage one day in one area, whatever buzzword of the day in the next and selling hunks of plastic to 'protect' you from the most basic generic idea that people who have no idea what any of it means because the NSA has issues spying on people.
 
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Florida man tries to cash a multi hundred billion dollar check to build an underwater restaurant

Florida resident Jeff Waters was running a few errands yesterday when he unexpectedly found himself in police custody. His plan was simple:

Gather up his usual accessories (bath salts, ninja throwing stars) and stroll down to the bank to cash a $368 billion check so that he could finally realize his dream of opening up the world's largest underwater Italian restaurant.

Maybe it was the absurd sum scribbled on the check, or maybe it was the fact that Waters was "visibly high," but for whatever reason, bank tellers became suspicious of the simple transaction, and they alerted the local police.

Waters said he purchased the blank check from a homeless man who assured him that he could fill it out for any amount he wished.

"It’s always been my dream to own the best Italian restaurant in the earth. I’m 10% Italian. Cooking authentic Italian food is in my blood. I had planned to make the restaurant 80 million sq. feet and able to accommodated (sic) 30 million eaters at once, plus it was gonna be totally underwater so people could look at sharks while they ate."
http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2...-while-attempting-to-cash-368-dollars-billio/
 
We're gonna see this guy resurface in a few years as some ocean-obsessed supervillain with an underwater lair, a shark pool to drop in henchmen who fail him, and an absurd plot to cover the planet in water.
 
Texas High School Has "No Sex Ed" Policy, Raging Chlamydia Outbreak

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If you attend Texas’ Crane High School, there’s about a one in fifteen chance that you have chlamydia right now. Fun, unrelated fact: you’ve also never been enrolled in a comprehensive sex-ed course. Weird!

The parents of the students who should have known better than to do the sex stuff that no one ever explained to them received a letter alerting them to the school’s outbreak, which is currently affecting about seven percent of the school. A school which, according to its current student handbook, “does not offer a curriculum in human sexuality.”

And while the school does offer three days of sex ed in the beginning of the school year, “Texas state law requires any sex ed course to devote more attention to abstinence than any other behavior,” according to Raw Story. Which includes being told that abstinence is the best way to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, like—oh, chlamydia, for instance.

Funny how these things work out.

http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/lo...school-students-have-Chlamydia-at-6240944.php

Who could have ever guessed something like this would happen?
 
Guy at JFK With $19,000 Worth of Coke in His Butt Isn't Fooling Anyone

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In this politically charged atmosphere, we rarely hear of U.S. border-patrol success stories. So let us commend the intrepid customs agents who bravely saved a bevy of junior Goldman VPs from huffing a pound of artisanal taint-roasted blow after it nestled near this nervous flier’s anus.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection trumpeted the case of the ass-coke on its website today:

On April 16, Mr. Romario Lewis, a Jamaican citizen, arrived at John F. Kennedy International Airport from Kingston, Jamaica and presented himself for inspection. During the examination of Mr. Lewis’s suitcase, he exhibited numerous signs of nervousness.

CBP officers conducted a physical search of Mr. Lewis. During this search, officers discovered two packages in the subject’s groin area. The two packages contained a white powdery substance that tested positive for cocaine. An approximate weight of 1 lb. of cocaine was seized, with an estimated street value of more than $19,000 according to DEA statistics.​

CBP officers hastened to add that all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. But Lewis faces a worse consequence than criminal charges: His (alleged) special two-boxer recipe for toasting in the flavor is a secret no more.

http://www.cbp.gov/newsroom/local-media-release/2015-05-04-000000/cocaine-found-underwear-cbp-jfk

Will def make you think before you take another line
 
Cops Rescue Shirtless Dope Dangling Upside Down From Basketball Hoop

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Embedded above is a seven-and-a-half-minute video of Seattle police trying to wrestle a writhing, shirtless, hammer-wielding man who got stuck upside down in a basketball hoop this past weekend.

Police were called to the basketball court at Seattle’s Cal Anderson Park this past Friday evening after an unidentified man climbed up onto a basketball hoop with a hammer and got stuck. In video by KOMO, the man can be seen dangling from the hoop by his feet, a swarm of police officers surrounding him and looking flummoxed at the sight before them. At one point, there appears to be about 20 officers on the basketball court.

After nearly 10 minutes of thrashing around, officers are able to help the man down using a Seattle Fire Department ladder. “It’s not known yet,” KOMO reports, “why the man climbed up the hoop in the first place.”

http://ktla.com/2015/05/03/shirtles...etball-hoop-prompting-rescue-at-seattle-park/

The dude is an idiot but why in the hell did so many cops show up for this call?
 
Texas High School Has "No Sex Ed" Policy, Raging Chlamydia Outbreak

Who could have ever guessed something like this would happen?

*Sigh* Texas x2 :loco:

I know my middle school tried to cut out the sex ed course for everyone and more than 80% of the parents lost their **** and demanded it be brought back. Several even threatened to sue to the school. It was back within a week.

Cops Rescue Shirtless Dope Dangling Upside Down From Basketball Hoop

The dude is an idiot but why in the hell did so many cops show up for this call?

Obviously he interrupted their inter-departmental monthly Basketball game so they made up for the lost time once they got him down. :o
 
UPDATE: Beachlovers Could Get 15 Years for Humping on Beach

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The Florida couple who last year had sex on a beach, went to sleep, and then had sex again, all while a grandmother filmed them, have been convicted of lewd and lascivious behavior, and each face up to 15 years in prison, the Miami Herald reports.

The defense for 40-year-old Jose “Benny” Caballero and his 20-year-old lover Elissa Alvarez claimed that Alvarez was “dancing on” her man and trying to wake him up, but they never actually banged.

“You folks cannot speculate,” the couples’ lawyer told the jury, according to the Herald, “And in order to say they had intercourse, you would have to speculate.”

The jury didn’t buy it, though, after seeing video of the incident and hearing testimony from a witness who said a three-year-old had seen the couple’s public display.

They returned a guilty verdict in just 15 minutes.

Caballero will likely get the maximum prison sentence, as the beach****ing incident took place less than three years after he’d served an eight-year sentence for coke trafficking. Prosecutors are just asking for jail time for Alvarez, who has no prior record.

Both will have to register as sex offenders.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article20191164.html

I know it seems excessive but seriously, screw these idiots
 
Woman Accused of Seducing Teen Neighbor Is Infamous Alleged Dog Humper

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The 23-year-old Florida woman arrested Monday for allegedly having sex with her 15-year-old neighbor was accused in 2012 of having sex with at least two dogs.

Volusia County police say Brittany Sonnier seduced her teen neighbor, despite knowing that he was underage. She’s also accused of providing the boy with alcohol and weed.

In 2012, Sonnier allegedly told her ex-boyfriend that she’d been having “vaginal and oral sex” with her family’s dogs since she was 13 and that wanted to have a threesome with him and a dog.

Sonnier’s dog-loving history was apparently well-known to her alleged teen victim. From WKMG:

According to a Volusia County arrest report, the teen, who stayed next door to Sonnier with his father on weekends, was informed of Sonnier’s past arrest of bestiality. The teen admitted to having intercourse with Sonnier for two nights and said he was concerned about contracting a venereal disease, the report said.​

For her latest brush with the law, Sonnier was charged with felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery sex act with a person less than 16 years of age and contributing to delinquency of a minor.

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/woman-provided-drugs-had-sex-with-minor-police-say/32798950

If she is literally willing to f*** a dog you def want to be on the lookout for VD
 
Nightmare Roommate Caught on Camera Spitting In and Windexing Food

Twenty-two-year-old Hayley King, a University of South Carolina student, was arrested by police last week after confessing to having spit in and dousing her roommates’ food with Windex. She was charged with unlawful and malicious tampering with human drug product or food, and could face 20 years in prison if convicted.

Following “multiple altercations,” WISTV reports, King’s two roommates felt it necessary to set up a hidden camera system in their home. Their instincts proved right: on February 4, the cameras filmed King milling about their shared kitchen, pacing back and forth from the cabinets to the fridge, where she appears to spit in food containers. At one point, she pours what looks like window cleaner in some food. One roommate claims to have eaten some of the contaminated food before seeing the video, the Associated Press reports.

The roommates, who have not been identified, turned the video over to Columbia, SC police, who called King into a station for questioning, where she apparently confessed. According to court records obtained by NBC News, King posted a $5,000 bond the next day.

The video and subsequent arrest is apparently the concluding act in a long-running roommate drama: the two roommates had been trying to get King to move out for weeks, but she “refused to leave.”

http://www.wistv.com/story/28932665...dly-spitting-spraying-windex-on-roomates-food

My last roommates were pretty crappy but at least they didn't try to poison me
 
UPDATE: Woman Who Tweeted '2 Drunk 2 Care' Before Fatal Crash Gets 24 Years

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The Florida woman who tweeted “2 drunk 2 care” hours before causing a deadly car crash was sentenced to 24 years in prison on Monday, CBS News reports.

Kayla Mendoza, 22, faced a maximum penalty of 30 years in prison for the manslaughter of 21-year-olds Kaitlyn Ferrante and Marisa Catronio, killed in a head-on collision with Mendoza in November 2013. Mendoza—who posted her infamous tweet less than three hours before the crash—was driving on the wrong side of the road at the time.

At today’s hearing, the families of Ferrante and Catronio asked the judge to make an example of Mendoza and give her the maximum sentence. From NBC Miami:

“Kayla, you changed all that, you took all those dreams away,” mother Christine Ferrante said. “And then I had to make the choice to pull her off of life support, that’s something a mother should never have to do.”

“How do you forgive someone who’s ruined your life and family’s lives forever?” brother Justin Catronio said.

Authorities said Mendoza, who was 20 years old at the time, had gone out to a Coral Springs bar after work where she drank two large fish bowl-sized margaritas.

[...]

It was later discovered that Mendoza was driving with a blood alcohol level twice the legal limit, according to police.​

After she is released from prison, Mendoza will serve six years probation and is banned from driving for life.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/2-drunk-2-care-driver-sentenced-in-fatal-crash/

As a guy with 2 DUI's I thank God everyday my stupidity didn't result in the death of someone else. Hope she learns her lesson
 
UPDATE: Beachlovers Could Get 15 Years for Humping on Beach

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http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article20191164.html

I know it seems excessive but seriously, screw these idiots

That is absurd. There are enough people imprisoned for dumb harmless **** in this country. Now we are sending people to prison for over a decade for having sex next to a pervy grandma? As for any kids on the beach, like they arent googling **** and ***** on their ipads.

I could understand giving them a fine or banning them from the beach for a time or community service. Just to discourage them from doing it again. But sending two people to prison or jail where they will be harrassed and possibly raped and abused and making them register as sex offenders, which will ruin the rest of their lives, all for commiting an act of passion that harmed absolutely no one...nah thats inhumane as far as Im concerned.

They need to file an appeal asap.
 
The USA is strangely obsessed over sex and the fact that it's natural but apparently will corrupt and warp the minds of everyone if we are protected from it's terrifying potential. :o
 
The USA is strangely obsessed over sex and the fact that it's natural but apparently will corrupt and warp the minds of everyone if we are protected from it's terrifying potential. :o

They have to protect us from...
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California Gov't Aide Arrested for Running a Rogue Masonic Police Force

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Cops generally don’t look too kindly on vigilantes, but they apparently hate rogue, Masonic police forces that claim a 3,000 year-old-legacy and jurisdiction in 33 states. Which is why, last week, the LAPD arrested three California residents allegedly behind the Masonic Fraternal Police Department.

The Freemason task force members—identified by the LA Times as David Henry, Tonette Hayes, and Brandon Kiel, who works as an aide to state Atty. Gen. Kamala D. Harris—were arrested last Thursday on suspicion of impersonating a police officer and released later that day.

The group seems to have made its first mistake when it sent various Southern California police chiefs press releases announcing a change in leadership. Their second was asking for a tête-à-tête—you know, cop to cop. From the LA Times:

After the letters were mailed, a man claiming to be Kiel and describing himself as the police force’s “chief deputy director” called various law enforcement agencies to schedule in-person meetings, sheriff’s officials said.

Sheriff’s Capt. Roosevelt Johnson, who heads the department’s Santa Clarita Valley station, met with members of the group and became wary after they could not provide rudimentary information about the group’s aims, the officials said.​

Now, being one of the most secretive, controversial, and thus conspiracy-theory-friendly groups in the world—of course the Freemasons’ sworn enforcers didn’t tell the (other) cops anything. Similarly, the Masonic Fraternal Police Department’s website, while incredible, doesn’t reveal much.

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Almost every link on the main page just sends you right on back to... the main page. And clicking four out of the five top links will lead to a password-protected dead end:

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There is, however, an exclamation-point-addled About page that is delightful if not exactly informative. Though you do get a peek at its origins:

The Masonic Fraternal Police Department, (M.F.P.D.) is the Knights Templar’s!​

As well as a sound self-defense:

When asked what is the difference between The Masonic Fraternal Police Department and other Police Departments the answer is simple for us. We were here first!​

And, of course, where its loyalties lie:

God Bless the United States of America!!!!!​

We’ve reached out to the Freemasons for comment, but it seems that Kiel is at least affiliated with the group in some way, since he attended a Freemason event just last year, during which he held the title “R.W. Grand High Priest.”

The rogue force was also apparently well-supplied. Officials found “badges, weapons, uniforms and law enforcement paraphernalia” after searching two unnamed locations.

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/...ccused-rogue-police-force-20150505-story.html

Weird and stupid
 
Cop Accused of Biting Man’s Testicle During Cinco de Mayo Brawl

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A Cinco de Mayo celebration in Baltimore turned violent last night after an Anne Arundel County, Maryland, police officer allegedly bit a man’s nut during a back-alley brawl.

WBAL-TV reports that Michael Flaig, 31, was arrested by Baltimore police after he was discovered in Looney’s Bar, with blood covering the front of his shirt. Moments before, Flaig and another man allegedly jumped a man who’d confronted Flaig about inappropriately touching his female roommate.

According to witnesses, at some point during the attack, Flaig bit one of the victim’s testicles and fled before police arrived.

From WBAL-TV:

A woman approached the responding officers to tell them she witnessed the fight, according to charging documents. Police said she gave description of the attacker who was wearing a blue and white polo shirt and cargo shorts. She told the police she waited at the front door of the Claddaugh Pub at 2918 O’Donnell Street for police arrive as she had seen the attacker walk in there, according charging documents.

According to the charging documents, police said Michael Flaig, 31, was found on the second floor of the bar with blood stains on his shirt. Flaig identified himself as an Anne Arundel County police officer and after he was identified as one of the attackers, was placed under arrest, according to charging documents.​

Flaig was being charged with second degree assault; his alleged accomplice is still at large.

More info on the nut-injuring fight from the Washington Post:

The victim was speaking with one friend, then noticed that Flaig was rubbing against the second friend, the victim’s female roommate.

The victim tried to get Flaig to stop. They argued.

Then the victim turned away — he saw a woman with whom he had been having an on-and-off relationship entering another bar on the same block. She was holding another man’s hand. Upset, the man decided to go home.

Authorities said the man was walking away when he heard someone coming from behind him.

The victim turned around and saw Flaig’s fist coming toward his face, police said. He ducked and then grabbed Flaig’s arm, pulling him to the ground. The victim straddled Flaig, crouching over him near his face.

Someone else, whom police have not identified, then started punching the victim, while he was sitting on Flaig. And while that was happening, Flaig bit the victim’s testicle.

The victim let Flaig get up, police said.​

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local...f-11e4-84a6-6d7c67c50db0_story.html?tid=sm_tw

He intended to take that man down by any means necessary apparently
 
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