Stupid questions you hear at work.

[the_ultimate_evil]

"can you explain to me why you ruined my photos"

me: we didn't sir, they were out of focus when you took them

"do not insult me boy, i have perfect vision, your machines obviously don't"

me: do you have the camera

shows me a bunch of blurred images

me: "there you go sir, the camera never focused when the shots were taking"

"no i think you'll find you have changed the settings to alter these as well. don't think i will ever be back here again"

storms out telling other customers they should do the same

 

[DarkSovereignty]

man, people really ARE stupid.

 

[Chris Wallace]

When I'm outside wrestling with the carts:
"Hot enough for you?"

 

[Metamorpho1977]

I work for Lowe's. I've had customers writing checks out at the register asking "Who do I make the check out too?" I usually just say my name and start spelling before I tell them to make it out to Lowe's.

I worked in the Tool department and I answered a call. "Hello, Tools, how may I help you?" The guy on the other end asked "Do you sell tools?" to which I replied No, we just let you borrow them, but you gotta bring them back.

 

[Metamorpho1977]

I love when customers tell me they're going to shop at the competitor like it's going to make me feel bad.

 

[Anubis]

I remember when I used to work with the city and people would say, "I pay your salary!"

One time I just said, "You want your money back? Here." Then I tossed her a penny and said, "Keep the Change."


Oh and one time this chick was pissed because she had to wait so long to see the doctor, and she kept saying "This is Redundant." "You people are Redundant!"

And I said, "You keep using that word, but I don't think it means what you think it means."

 

[Hotwire]

"Do you work here?"

To which I used to use one of two answers...
Nope. I just look official.
Or...
No. I'm a decoy, the real employees are over there.

 

[terry78]

I did actually pull that one time at a Best Buy because they're required to wear those blue shirts and black pants and I had just come off work wearing that exact attire. Some guy asked me some questions about a laptop...and I went ahead and answered them...all wrong.

 

[Metamorpho1977]

I did actually pull that one time at a Best Buy because they're required to wear those blue shirts and black pants and I had just come off work wearing that exact attire. Some guy asked me some questions about a laptop...and I went ahead and answered them...all wrong.

I used to sell cars, and when I was starting out, they told me if you don't know the answer to the customer's question, make it up.

 

[Harls]

I used to sell cars, and when I was starting out, they told me if you don't know the answer to the customer's question, make it up.

I knew it.

 

[Metamorpho1977]

I knew it.

But I noticed the ones who couldn't sell very good made up more answers than me. I made it a point to know what I was talking about and I sold more than they did too.

 

[Harls]

But I noticed the ones who couldn't sell very good made up more answers than me. I made it a point to know what I was talking about and I sold more than they did too.

Ah, that's reassuring. Good for you man.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I love when customers tell me they're going to shop at the competitor like it's going to make me feel bad.

Ever have them ask you "Why dont you (do something your store doesnt allow)? Such and such a store does." I just want to tell them, "Because that store does things its way and we do things our way. You see, we are different stores."


Oh and people that order "Cheese and sausage pizzas." Do you really need to tell me to add cheese? Its like ordering a tomato sauce and sausage pizza.

 

[terry78]

Ever have them ask you "Why dont you (do something your store doesnt allow)? Such and such a store does." I just want to tell them, "Because that store does things its way and we do things our way. You see, we are different stores."


Oh and people that order "Cheese and sausage pizzas." Do you really need to tell me to add cheese? Its like ordering a tomato sauce and sausage pizza.

People just get used to saying that. My sister only eats plain cheese pizza so it's like old hat if she gotta order something for the entire family different.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I guess. It just strikes me as odd.

 

[socool]

Ever have them ask you "Why dont you (do something your store doesnt allow)? Such and such a store does." I just want to tell them, "Because that store does things its way and we do things our way. You see, we are different stores."


Oh and people that order "Cheese and sausage pizzas." Do you really need to tell me to add cheese? Its like ordering a tomato sauce and sausage pizza.

A lot of people are lactose intolerant. "Un-cheesed" pizza is quite popular where my friend works.

 

[Hobgoblin]

A lot of people are lactose intolerant. "Un-cheesed" pizza is quite popular where my friend works.

Thats true but we've never gotten an order like that.

 

[Ponyboy]

A lot of people are lactose intolerant. "Un-cheesed" pizza is quite popular where my friend works.

In which case it's no longer pizza.

I had someone ask where within 'the compound' they could safely use the internet to look at nude photos their girlfriend emailed them.

 

[bullets]

I did actually pull that one time at a Best Buy because they're required to wear those blue shirts and black pants and I had just come off work wearing that exact attire. Some guy asked me some questions about a laptop...and I went ahead and answered them...all wrong.

That's funny. One time I was at Walmart wearing a blue shirt and khakis so a woman assuming I worked there asked me to help her find something. I actually helped her at first but when I couldn't find it I shrugged and walked off. She looked devastated.

 

[Warhammer]

That's funny. One time I was at Walmart wearing a blue shirt and khakis so a woman assuming I worked there asked me to help her find something. I actually helped her at first but when I couldn't find it I shrugged and walked off. She looked devastated.

 

[Hotwire]

I did actually pull that one time at a Best Buy because they're required to wear those blue shirts and black pants and I had just come off work wearing that exact attire. Some guy asked me some questions about a laptop...and I went ahead and answered them...all wrong.

There was an episode of 3rd Rock From the Sun like that. John Lithgow gets mistaken for an employee because of what he's wearing, ends up running the store.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

My phone rings at my desk: Hello *...* speaking.

Customer on the other end: Is this *...*?

 

[Ghostvirus]

"can you explain to me why you ruined my photos"

me: we didn't sir, they were out of focus when you took them

"do not insult me boy, i have perfect vision, your machines obviously don't"

me: do you have the camera

shows me a bunch of blurred images

me: "there you go sir, the camera never focused when the shots were taking"

"no i think you'll find you have changed the settings to alter these as well. don't think i will ever be back here again"

storms out telling other customers they should do the same

As an employee I would have just stared at him for quite a while dry faced. Then just walk out.

It takes a special man to tolerate that level of stupidity.

 

[mrvlknight21]

I remember when I used to work with the city and people would say, "I pay your salary!"

One time I just said, "You want your money back? Here." Then I tossed her a penny and said, "Keep the Change."


Oh and one time this chick was pissed because she had to wait so long to see the doctor, and she kept saying "This is Redundant." "You people are Redundant!"

And I said, "You keep using that word, but I don't think it means what you think it means."

LMAO.
t:

 

[Metamorpho1977]

So, I've had some gems at work the last couple of weeks.

1. A couple of weeks ago, a lady came up to me at Lowe's asks, "Do you have invisible paint?" I replied... Yes, but we can't ever find it.

2. I'm standing next to the pesticides and a guy comes up and asks me what's the best way to get rid of moles? I told him a dermatologist.

3. Today, I'm walking past the plumbing department and a guy asks me where the Fallopian tubes are.