Stupid questions you hear at work.

[Metamorpho1977]

I have an old burger king shirt, maybe i will go to the BK near my house and use the bathroom then walk right out past the sink.

 

[Hotwire]

It's not a question I was asked, but rather a question I posed to the young girl behind the counter and McDonald's.
Me: Can I get a half dozen chicken McNuggets?
Her: We only have 4, 6, and 10 piece.
Me: OK, so can I have a half dozen?
Her: We don't have that.
Me: Oh, well, I'll have a number 1, then.

 

[VenomSpawn]

It's not a question I was asked, but rather a question I posed to the young girl behind the counter and McDonald's.
Me: Can I get a half dozen chicken McNuggets?
Her: We only have 4, 6, and 10 piece.
Me: OK, so can I have a half dozen?
Her: We don't have that.
Me: Oh, well, I'll have a number 1, then.

I would have been laughing so hard if I saw that. Who doesn't know what a half dozen means?

 

[Matt.S99]

I used to work at Tim Hortons(Canadian Coffee and Bake Shop chain). Once a lady asked me what items of food contained gluten and what their calorie count was. Its a ****ing minimum wage job, do you think I go home and study the calory count of each doughnut?

Another time, a man came in and asked what items of food were made with eggs....

Someone once asked how much cream and sugar come in the coffee....

 

[Ring Deacon]

I work for Comcast in the tech support call center. Here are so actual questions I have actually had before.

1. Customer: There is a power outage in my neighborhood, why doesn't any of my services work? I cannot get online or watch TV. Can you turn on just the internet so i can play farmville?

2: My computer is missing it's master boot file, can you restart my modem so i can get online again?

3. the power was out for an hour today. Can you help me program the clock on my VCR and Microwave?

4. Customer: My service was turned off today, why?

Me: well you haven't paid you bill in 3 months.

Customer: I was never told when I signed up that i would have to pay a bill. I was told I had a 30 free trial.

Me: yes but you are on your 90th day.

5. My DVR is not working right. I cannot fast forward through the commercials.

6. I never asked for this Xfinity stuff I want changed back to Comcast.

7. My Tv will not turn on with the clicker.

Me: Are the batteries fresh in the remote?

Customer: I don't know you put them in there. If the died that is your fault.

Me: Ok, let try turning the TV on with the power button on the Tv.

Customer: How am i supposed to know where that is? Send me a tech to change my batteries.

 

[Anubis]

Heh, ******s.

 

[VenomSpawn]

I work for Comcast in the tech support call center. Here are so actual questions I have actually had before.

1. Customer: There is a power outage in my neighborhood, why doesn't any of my services work? I cannot get online or watch TV. Can you turn on just the internet so i can play farmville?

2: My computer is missing it's master boot file, can you restart my modem so i can get online again?

3. the power was out for an hour today. Can you help me program the clock on my VCR and Microwave?

4. Customer: My service was turned off today, why?

Me: well you haven't paid you bill in 3 months.

Customer: I was never told when I signed up that i would have to pay a bill. I was told I had a 30 free trial.

Me: yes but you are on your 90th day.

5. My DVR is not working right. I cannot fast forward through the commercials.

6. I never asked for this Xfinity stuff I want changed back to Comcast.

All of these made me laugh so hard. I'm surprised some of these people can dress themselves in the morning.

 

[SpideyInATree]

I work for FedEx customer service and I get some of the dumbest questions in the history of dumb questions:

"Uh, yes, when I am shipping something should I put it in a box?"

Then recently FedEx was giving away $25 AMEX gift cards if you went to their Facebook page and "liked" them. Well, of course they went like wild fire and some dumb lady calls up and has the nerve to ask for compensation because she was stuck at work and didn't have a chance to like FedEx on Facebook. You think that I can magically just give you a free $25 because you missed out on it?

Also...it's not really dumb questions it's more along the lines of getting calls all day long from people who cry like babies because they missed their packages. A lot of iPhone 4S shipments going out the past few weeks and these people cry like children at the toy store who can't get their favorite action figure.

Customer: "I missed my package can you call the driver and make him come back?"
*Sees driver attempted at 11:30 A.M. and they are calling at 5:00*
Me: "I apologize we missed you do you have the tracking number or door tag number?"
Customer: "Yeah it's blah blah blah. Now I work for a living and am never home can't the driver deliver in the evening or something?"
Me: Sir, I'm sorry but Express drivers operate until about 6 or 7. If you need your item now you can pick it up at the station...they are opened up until 9 pm
Customer: "Why should I pick it up? I paid Verizon to DELIVER IT! How come they just didn't leave my damn package?"
Me: "Verizon requires a signature on the package, sir, the drivers cannot leave them without authorization"
Customer: "Well, call the driver and make him come back here"
Me: "Sir, that driver is done for the day...
Customer: "I don't care they can make him come back in and deliver my package and I need it before 7 tonight because I have to go somewhere"

Now...this is seriously the type of call I get about 20 to 30 times a DAY from these DUMB people who don't realize that these delivery drivers have HUNDREDS of packages to deliver and there are more important things than you're stupid iPhone. This job has certainly taught me that in the new age of cell phones, Internet, Twitter, Facebook, etc...there is absolutely NO PATIENCE any more with people. Plus Verizon, Apple, AT&T, Dell, and other big companies have a lot of HORRIBLE customer service people that purposely blame FedEx for something that's their fault.

 

[VenomSpawn]

7. My Tv will not turn on with the clicker.

Me: Are the batteries fresh in the remote?

Customer: I don't know you put them in there. If the died that is your fault.

Me: Ok, let try turning the TV on with the power button on the Tv.

Customer: How am i supposed to know where that is? Send me a tech to change my batteries.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I work at a local newspaper in a small town in England.

First of all you'd be surprised at the frequency of the question 'Is this the newspaper?'

Second of all, my most dreaded phrase in the world is 'I don't know if you'll be able to help me, but...' It ALWAYS leads to some crazy request.

Some of mine aren't questions, just stupid things people have said, but here we go:

1. Caller: I want to report an animal attack. My husband and I were walking our dog up in the hills, and a cow attacked us. It sent my dog flying. I really think something should be done to make sure these vicious animals aren't just roaming free up there.

2. Caller: I want to respond to a complaint letter in your paper but I don't think they've put the name in right

Me: Okay, which one are you refferring too?

Caller: It's the first one, it's says his name is Anon, but you've left out the surname and there's no address.

3. Man walking in off the street: Oh, is this not a pet shop?

4. Caller: 'Do you have the number for The Sun?'

Me: 'Um, no, but i'm sure it will be online somewhere'

Caller: 'I don't have the internet. Your a newspaper aren't you, aren't you all connected together?'

5. Caller: 'You've left my advert out of the paper'

Me: 'Okay, what is it you were advertising'

Caller: 'It was for a car, a red Ford Focus'

Me: 'One moment... (look through pages) Ah, yes, there it is. It's in there, it's on page 12'

Caller: 'Um, no it's not love, i'm looking right at page 12'

Me: 'Yeah, just there in the top right hand corner, in the car shaped box'

Caller: (getting more agrivated) 'There's no car shaped box there!'

Me: 'And your sure you've got the right edition. Does it say 4/9/11 on the top?'

Caller hangs up.

 

[WolfCypher]

I wear a black shirt with white lettering on it that says "Wal-Mart Store# 1492". I wear gloves. I carry a box-cutter and occasionally my name badge. People will see me pulling a pallet behind me with a bright-ass safety vest on.

"Excuse me, do you work here?"

...

 

[gohei_]

I wear a black shirt with white lettering on it that says "Wal-Mart Store# 1492". I wear gloves. I carry a box-cutter and occasionally my name badge. People will see me pulling a pallet behind me with a bright-ass safety vest on.

"Excuse me, do you work here?"

...

Well, do you?

 

[DarkSovereignty]

I wear a black shirt with white lettering on it that says "Wal-Mart Store# 1492". I wear gloves. I carry a box-cutter and occasionally my name badge. People will see me pulling a pallet behind me with a bright-ass safety vest on.

"Excuse me, do you work here?"

...

well, you could just be strange.

 

[Schlosser85]

Every time a customer asks me that, I want to say "no, I just walk around wearing a name badge because I think it looks cool".

 

[Schlosser85]

I worked for two years as a cashier at a florist shop. Especially around the holidays, we had a lot of people sending flowers out of state. The way that works is we relay the order to a local florist in the area, with the person's address, a description of the flowers/arrangement the sender wants, etc. What a lot of customers don't understand is that we in Warren, Ohio do not directly send flowers to their friend in Charleston, South Carolina, they cannot just pick an arrangement out of the window and set it on the counter and say they want it sent to New York City. The best we can do is describe the arrangement of ours that they like in as much detail as possible and hopefully the florist shop we relay the order to has something similar.

The other thing they don't understand is that we do not magically have some directory of every address in the nation. If I had a nickle for every customer who, when asked the recipient's address, said "I don't know, can't you look it up?", I'd be rich.

Before one holiday, I had a woman who wanted flowers sent to her friend in South Carolina. When I asked the address, she said "It's down around Charleston." When I said we needed the address, she got irritable and said "can't you just send it now and I'll come back with the address later??"

I resisted the urge to sarcastically tell her that I can't just fire the flowers off into some vortex and then throw the address in after them later. This also gave me an image of how pissed off the receiving florist would be when they got an order from us with the address "Somewhere around Charleston", and of some deliveryman driving around Charleston with a bullhorn shouting the person's name.

 

[gohei_]

well, you could just be strange.

I just have to say that I love your bottom sig, seems I'm not the only one who picked up on that

 

[Schlosser85]

A friend of mine works at an AT&T call center and once had a customer ask if they could e-mail him a new phone.

Seriously....play back in your head what you just asked. Slowly.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Well, this is pretty much a verbatim transcript of a conversation a guy was having with my PSP as I was ignoring him while playing Monster Hunter Portbale 3rd. This is the hippy pothead that comes in every once in awhile and he was pretty plastered that night. *ahem!*

"Ydsf;jsdbg;gbdvbg;jbdv;ajdbgvjsbSD:JB;...you know what I'm saying...gqwigfqvjvlvcsvOL;VCL;AVVVsd;OAFOJpofvbhbnc....."

 

[VenomSpawn]

A friend of mine works at an AT&T call center and once had a customer ask if they could e-mail him a new phone.

Seriously....play back in your head what you just asked. Slowly.

Even though you said this on the first page, it's still just as funny reading it the second time.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

A friend of mine works at an AT&T call center and once had a customer ask if they could e-mail him a new phone.

Seriously....play back in your head what you just asked. Slowly.

 

[Godzilla2000]

I have an old burger king shirt, maybe i will go to the BK near my house and use the bathroom then walk right out past the sink.

Before walking out the door you need to yell out, "You can't fire me because I quit!"

 

[SuperSoldier985]

Anytime I'm walking around the men's clothes in a store, somebody ALWAYS asks if I work there. I don't know if I give off some peon vibe or what.

You probably dress like an old man with your shirts tucked in. t:

 

[terry78]

You probably dress like an old man with your shirts tucked in. t:

If you mean like somebody who looks like they've got their **** together, then yes.

 

[Dave McFly]

not a question but stupidity at it's finest, about 10 years ago I was a sales associate in electronics for wal mart. since I was the ONLY person in that dept that ACTUALLY knew about the stuff we sold and was not just a cashier I was the one that was called to customers service for returns. so if somebody was returning an item I was there to make sure that all the stuff that came with said item (like the box it came in etc) if it was all there I would say 'you are good to go'.

well one time I get a call to the cust service desk for a return, I get up there and a guy has a TV set in a shopping cart, already a red flag is going up in my brain. So the guy tells me (not verbatim) "I just got this TV and it stopped working I want my $$$ back". So i go to look at the tv (NOTE this took place in summer of 2002), first it is a 25" TV with NO hookups on the back other than a coax cable input, 2nd it REEKS of window cleaner, and my personal favorite, it was built in 1999 and it was a brand we did not even CARRY (it was a Westinghouse which is a common brand sold at K mart). I told him that we could not take it back so he gets all pissy and says "F*** you all I am going somewhere else", and leaves the TV behind. the girl at the counter told me later that he NEVER came back (gee, I wonder why ).

 

[Polaris23]

My sister to my other sister: "Hey Sammy, did you hear that they're building an outdoor mall?"

My other sister's reply: "Well what are they gonna do when it rains?"


When I was a teenager working in my parents' grocery store:
Old man: "Where's your ice?"
Me:".....in the freezer."

These are brilliant, haha.