Superman Returns Superman Returns Caption Thread

[protocida]

SUPERMAN: I told him not to watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. He just couldn't handle the awesomeness.

 

[protocida]

HAL JORDAN: You see the lady in the background? I did her.

JOHN STEWART: OK, now you're just showing off!

HAL JORDAN: No. If I told you I did Hawkwoman, Vixen and Katma Tui at the same time, THEN, I'd be showing off.

 

[protocida]

SUPERMAN: Did you ****ed my wife? Did you ****ed my wife? Did you ****ed my wife?

GREEN LANTERN: Well, yeah. But in my defense, I was drunk and she was hot.

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: I told him not to watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. He just couldn't handle the awesomeness.

...Of getting to leave the theater before having to put up with robot testicles and Jar Jar Binks-level racial stereotype robots.

 

[protocida]

Hater?

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: Did you ****ed my wife? Did you ****ed my wife? Did you ****ed my wife?

GREEN LANTERN: Well, yeah. But in my defense, I was drunk and she was hot.

 

[Panthro]

HAL JORDAN: You see the lady in the background? I did her.

JOHN STEWART: OK, now you're just showing off!

HAL JORDAN: No. If I told you I did Hawkwoman, Vixen and Katma Tui at the same time, THEN, I'd be showing off.

And again:

 

[ultimatefan]

edit double

 

[ultimatefan]

Hater?

The TF series has great FXs and Megan Fox is hot. Nothing else about it works for me. I find the humor atrocious, and it´s all over the place. There´s no story. Not even the action scenes, which are a blur of indistinguishable mechanical pieces.

 

[kedrell]

...Of getting to leave the theater before having to put up with robot testicles and Jar Jar Binks-level racial stereotype robots.

Jar-Jar a racial stereotype? I never got that. Sure he's annoying as hell and Lucas is a damn fool for even creating him, but I never uderstood that racial criticism. When I look at him and how he acts all I see is a complete alien. A complete alien buffoon.

 

[Panthro]

Jar-Jar a racial stereotype? I never got that. Sure he's annoying as hell and Lucas is a damn fool for even creating him, but I never uderstood that racial criticism. When I look at him and how he acts all I see is a complete alien. A complete alien buffoon.

It's his accent really, it sounds vaguely Jamaican.

 

[ultimatefan]

^If memory serves me, he also uses slangs that are typical of slavery-period African-Americans, like "missa" instead of "mister".

 

[ultimatefan]

MEGAN: Oh Superman, how can I show you my gratitude for saving my life?

SUPERMAN: Would it KILL you to actually show up naked in a movie already?!!? Every guy in America saw those set pictures from Jennifer´s Body and spent months salivating to just get a peek at your goodies and then, NOTHING, ZILT, NADA!! Have you no heart, woman?!!?

 

[DX]

...Of getting to leave the theater before having to put up with robot testicles and Jar Jar Binks-level racial stereotype robots.

OK, I heard about the racial stereotype but is that true? Seriously?

 

[ultimatefan]

This review compares them to Jar Jar too:

The horrible characters aren't restricted to the human population, either. The twin robots Mudflap and Skids are actually occasionally amusing, but are also constantly on the edge of becoming really offensive racial stereotypes. Bay apparently really loved Jar-Jar Binks and thought he should have something similar in his movie. And what is the deal with the Decepticon "doctor" robot who speaks with a German accent? Is that a Nazi Decepticon?!

http://mobile.phillyist.com/2009/06/24/cinephillyist_reviews_transformers.php

It has come up in a bunch of other reviews.

 

[ultimatefan]

Harry from AICN says the un-PC aspect is not even the worst one of it:

The film is padded by an hour of completely unnecessary, worthless, offensive and repugnant sequences that do nothing but tread water. Be it the family dogs ****ing, twice. An extended sequence of Mom hopped up on pot brownies on a reefer madness binge. The well talked about racist foul-mouthed robots that are built in monkey proportions, have a big shiny gold tooth and do nothing to advance the story an inch. It's almost like Michael Bay showed the script to George Lucas and Uncle George let loose with another of his awesomely inappropriate animated racial slurs. But the racial stuff isn't limited to just the animated variety. There's a black man with bad teeth working in a Butcher Shop to earn new teeth that kinda blew my mind. But my problems with these things aren't so much of the PC variety.

I'm all for off-color humor and thumbing your nose at the PC police. But I really would like it to serve the story. Michael Bay is famous for pointless asides, and this time he has a solid hour and a half of story telling, padded with absolute ********.

Now - I know I'm supposed to be the big Michael Bay apologist - for the record - I loved and continue to love BAD BOYS 1 & 2, THE ROCK and ARMAGEDDON. I feel PEARL HARBOR was an hour too long and it hurt what might have been a better shorter film, much like this film. And I really really strongly dislike THE ISLAND and TRANSFORMERS.

This latest film I found more tolerable than the last one, if only because I enjoyed Prime's battle with 3 Decepticons in the forest. And the Egyptian battle sequence, especially with the modified Prime.

But you have to remember, I didn't like a single action sequence in the first film. I rewatched TRANSFORMERS on Blu-Ray before going to the theater today, because I wanted it fresh in mind. I do feel that John Turturro is better this time out. Megan Fox was hotter in the last film. But this film has so much obviously wrong with it, that you have to wonder if anybody in the process ever told Michael Bay that he was ****ing offensively ******ed.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/41512

 

[DX]

This review compares them to Jar Jar too:

The horrible characters aren't restricted to the human population, either. The twin robots Mudflap and Skids are actually occasionally amusing, but are also constantly on the edge of becoming really offensive racial stereotypes. Bay apparently really loved Jar-Jar Binks and thought he should have something similar in his movie. And what is the deal with the Decepticon "doctor" robot who speaks with a German accent? Is that a Nazi Decepticon?!

http://mobile.phillyist.com/2009/06/24/cinephillyist_reviews_transformers.php

It has come up in a bunch of other reviews.

Bay loved Jar-Jar...

But is the whole robot testicles thing true (because that just sounds beyond lame)?

 

[ultimatefan]

Sadly, yes. Well, after the first one´s robot "peeing" that´s hardly a surprise.

 

[DX]

Sadly, yes. Well, after the first one´s robot "peeing" that´s hardly a surprise.

Christ. More and more things are putting me off of this one (and I actually liked the first one).

 

[Panthro]

MEGAN: Oh Superman, how can I show you my gratitude for saving my life?

SUPERMAN: Would it KILL you to actually show up naked in a movie already?!!? Every guy in America saw those set pictures from Jennifer´s Body and spent months salivating to just get a peek at your goodies and then, NOTHING, ZILT, NADA!! Have you no heart, woman?!!?

You tell her, Supes!

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "So you're a caveman in the comics now? Smooth move after the TDK hit Bruce, real smooth."
BATMAN: "Oh I think you made the bigger boo-boo, Clark. You could have had a successful film franchise reboot too."

SUPERMAN: "F*** you!"

 

[ultimatefan]

^Thanks and hehehehehe

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: Oh my God! They killed Kenny!!

GREEN LANTERN: You bastards!!

 

[Superwoman Prime]

SUPERMAN: "Look on the bright side, bud. You don't have to pull any smooth moves on girls to get them in bed anymore. To "go clubbing", you don't have to go to a night club... you just pick up a club, whack a girl over the head, and take her home."

 

[Superwoman Prime]

SUPERMAN: "You need to think about cleaning out your car sometime. This mess is ridiculous."

BATMAN: "That's Alfred's job."

SUPERMAN: "Oh yeah? Is it his job to wipe your ass for you too?"

BATMAN: "Yes."