LOL What the hell did I just watch? The Dark Knight Rises was a great movie in general, but a piss poor excuse for a Batman movie. What kind of lousy Batman doesn't do any planning, preparation, doesn't have any useful gadgets, and is stupid as hell? Not the Batman I grew up reading.
1) So you mean to tell me Batman walked around with no gadgets? I accept that he got beat in a fist fight with Bane, but to not use any gadgets? WTF happened to the Batarangs? Plastic Explosive grenades? Smoke capsules? Bat darts? Bat Goo Gun? Bat Stun gun? Brass knuckles? What in holy hell did he have in his utility belt? Pieces of ass? What in the ****?
If Batman used gadgets and Bane outsmarted him at each turn, I could completely accept that. But the dude doesn't even dig into his utility belt, except one time for the most useless gadget I've ever seen in my entire life? He walked around like that? We are supposed to believe Batman walked around completely unprepared, with no gadgets, like a dumbass?
2) To walk right into it all with no anticipation? The cynical, cool, calculating, prepared Batman we all know and love just trusts Catwoman?
3) Batman WOULD NEVER ABANDON GOTHAM AFTER ONE YEAR OF BEING BATMAN. You can't tell me nothing, he just wouldn't do it. It doesn't matter if all the criminals magically dissipated, there will always be crime. No place on earth is a goddamn utopia that doesn't need to be looked after.
4) So in the Nolan-verse we are supposed to believe Mr. Freeze never existed, Poison Ivy never existed, Deadshot never existed, The Penguin never existed, Harley Quinn never existed, The Riddler never existed, Killer Croc never existed? We are supposed to believe they were able to keep the Joker locked up for 8 years? That is not a Batman universe I can accept. Ever. That is unacceptable. Unprecedented. Unfounded. Unbelievable. Unacceptable. Was there a problem with not having Bruce retire and let there be a mention of Batman having locked everyone up in Arkham, then Bane comes in? I can accept that.
5) We saw throat cancer Batman for about maybe 25-30 minutes in a goddamn 2 hour and 45 minute movie. Years from now, I will tell my kids of this day, and we'll laugh at this notion.
6) Catwoman was better than Batman. This is the second movie in which Batman has been outshined, the last being TDK with the Joker. This wouldn't be a bad thing by any means if it didn't take so LITTLE to actually outshine Batman in this film.
7) What the hell has Bruce been doing in his house for 8 years? Watching porn? Why the **** is he limping around? So you mean to tell me Bruce Wayne moped around his house for 8 years, without getting some surgery, rehabilitation, at least making sure his body was ready if he needed to be Batman again? Maybe making some new gadgets, learning new things, giving to the poor in other ways? He just stayed in his house? This is the most pathetic version of Batman I've ever seen in my entire life, from comics, to television, to movies.
I forget what it was, but I once read this comic with Batman and Superman where when they both retired, Supes became a farmer like his father and Bruce become a doctor like his father. Bruce Wayne's conviction to help those in need by any means necessary is a core element of his character. It would have made more sense for Bruce to be giving to charities, helping the needy and poor in other ways. But to just mope around his house? That is no Bruce I've known, seen, or read. That is a pathetic excuse for a Bruce Wayne, for a Batman. I cannot accept that version of the character, by any means.
Bane was fantastic, Catwoman was fantastic, Batman was the worst part of the movie.....in a Batman movie. Well **** me senseless. My closing sentiment: At least in the Joel Batman movies, Batman was the featured character.