The 100 Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms

[Figs]

9 And don’t address anyone here on earth as ‘Father,’ for only God in heaven is your spiritual Father.

Um...I was raised Catholic and we were always 'supposed' to refer to the priests as "Father 'so and so' ".

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Also, homosexuality is barely in The Bible. It's in their twice out of thousands of pages, both in the NT, which also condemns eating shrimp and wearing mixed fabrics, neither of which is believed by Christians these days.

Why do people who don't know much about the Bible insist on telling people what's in it? *sigh*

WRONG.

Please dude, if you're going to make statements about the Bible, try reading it.
It's embarrassing.

I'm off so I have to go.
Can anyone tell him what's Bizarro World-wrong with th^t post?
If not, I'll be back.

 

[The Chairman]

Not my mixed fabrics collection that I wear to Red Lobster

Your sense of humor and gift wit is truly a blessing from God.

 

[The Chairman]

Why do people who don't know much about the Bible insist on telling people what's in it? *sigh*

WRONG.

Please dude, if you're going to make statements about the Bible, try reading it.
It's embarrassing.

I'm off so I have to go.
Can anyone tell him what's Bizarro World-wrong with th^t post?
If not, I'll be back.

I have not read the entire Bible, but I've read good chunks of it, went to a Catholic school, and through various conversations and studies of my own I'm more than knowledgable enough about it to give my opinion.

 

[Superhobo]

Why do people who don't know much about the Bible insist on telling people what's in it? *sigh*

WRONG.

Please dude, if you're going to make statements about the Bible, try reading it.
It's embarrassing.

I'm off so I have to go.
Can anyone tell him what's Bizarro World-wrong with th^t post?
If not, I'll be back.

It's the OT, actually. Other than the fact that Paul mentions it barely in passing a couple of times in Romans and Corinthians, he's more or less correct. And, it must be noted in the case of Paul, that many, many of the things he wrote were contrary to things Jesus actually, y'know, said.

John H. Yoger (famous theologian and Christian philosopher, as well as a Reverend - So, he isn't some schmuck) calls him the "beginning of the downfall of Christianity."

 

[Superhobo]

This'll be fun.

Nice way to go Mr. Moderator.

Very parental-like stance. Pawn of Satan!!! ooooooooohhh.....

You know you cried a little.

Do you even read the Bible? Do even care about it?

Do you? Have you ever read any philosopher's thoughts on the books? Have you ever read up on anything in the Bible? Have you done any studies on it?

I have, and I can say - you're a ****wit.

You are "pro-everything" it teaches against. And I'm Satan's pawn??

Either that or you've suffered some massive head trauma, and it's knocked something important loose.

Evolution - If you're stupid enough to take Genesis literally, sure, you may have some problems with evolution. But then, you may have problems with the fact that the world was never globally flooded, and all that jazz. It doesn't contradict any Biblical teachings, and accepting it as fact isn't something that's gonna send you to hell.

I think it's funny the evil framing you've put on the concept. It's...asinine.

Gay Marriage - I believe I've covered this already.

Abortion - Bible says NOTHING about abortion specifically. And you can start parroting "thou shalt not murder" all you want, the point still stands.


Pre-marital Sex - I can only roll my eyes at you, Memphis. Here, look:

Should I keep going?

Please. This is pretty funny.

I don't care if you "call" yourself a Catholic or not.

Really, couldn't he say the same? You are SO FAR from a sane man, let alone the very concept of "Christian" or "Christ-like," it's funny.

But your Catholicism may explain your way of thinking. Catholics have never been strong in Bible study.

This, coming from...well, you, is just...Ah, sweet irony!

Good people. But discipleship is not stressed.

You're a mo.'

Actually getting in the scriptures and finding out how God wants you to live is not a priority.

Oh, where's me a doctor? My sides are splittin'!

. Every former Catholic I've talked to has said the same things.

Are these like the "Hindu's" you talked about a while back who had no real concept of who the Brahman was?

See...I'm not calling these things "sin" on my own.

Yes, you are. Evolution isn't a sin. You can't commit an act of evolution.

Gay marriage? I've covered this, and so has everyone else.

Abortion? Not a sin. NOT EVEN MENTIONED in the Bible.

Pre-marital sex? Show me a verse that isn't from Paul that condemns this.

The Bible calls it that and I agree with the Bible.

What...the...**** Bible are you reading?

 

[Memphis Slim]

Matthew 10:
34 “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

35 ‘I have come to set a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 Your enemies will be right in your own household!’
37 “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine.

38 If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine.
39 If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. 40 “Anyone who receives you receives me, and anyone who receives me receives the Father who sent me.

41 If you receive a prophet as one who speaks for God,you will be given the same reward as a prophet. And if you receive righteous people because of their righteousness, you will be given a reward like theirs.

42 And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.”


Christ was no pacifist. But He didn't go looking for fights either.

 

[squeekness]

Matthew 10:
34 “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

35 ‘I have come to set a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 Your enemies will be right in your own household!’
37 “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine.

38 If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine.
39 If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. 40 “Anyone who receives you receives me, and anyone who receives me receives the Father who sent me.

41 If you receive a prophet as one who speaks for God,you will be given the same reward as a prophet. And if you receive righteous people because of their righteousness, you will be given a reward like theirs.

42 And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.”


Christ was no pacifist. But He didn't go looking for fights either.

Yes, but this was not a call to arms. This was Jesus' expectation that his teachings were so radical that it would divide families between believers and non-belivers, not that they should slaughter each other over it. It's not so violent a passage as it first appears.

 

[Superhobo]

Matthew 10:
34 “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

35 ‘I have come to set a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 Your enemies will be right in your own household!’
37 “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine.

38 If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine.
39 If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. 40 “Anyone who receives you receives me, and anyone who receives me receives the Father who sent me.

41 If you receive a prophet as one who speaks for God,you will be given the same reward as a prophet. And if you receive righteous people because of their righteousness, you will be given a reward like theirs.

42 And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.”


Christ was no pacifist. But He didn't go looking for fights either.

What...are you trying to prove with these verses?

 

[Mr Sparkle]

34 “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword.

wow, so, pretty war like then?
weren't you saying that this was the difference between Islam and Christianity?

"I came not to bring peace, but a sword" seems like the very thing you decry in other threads, and now, you use it to make YOUR point?

the hell?
what world do you live in really?

 

[hippy fascist]

Nice way to go Mr. Moderator.

Very parental-like stance. Pawn of Satan!!! ooooooooohhh.....

Do you even read the Bible? Do even care about it? You are "pro-everything" it teaches against. And I'm Satan's pawn??

Evolution
Gay Marriage
Abortion
Pre-marital Sex

Should I keep going? I don't care if you "call" yourself a Catholic or not. But your Catholicism may explain your way of thinking. Catholics have never been strong in Bible study. Good people. But discipleship is not stressed. Actually getting in the scriptures and finding out how God wants you to live is not a priority. . Every former Catholic I've talked to has said the same things. See...I'm not calling these things "sin" on my own. The Bible calls it that and I agree with the Bible.

****ing Psycho

 

[Captain_BluTac]

Does anyone want WBC phone numbers, they have just been posted on Youtube.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

It's the OT, actually. Other than the fact that Paul mentions it barely in passing a couple of times in Romans and Corinthians, he's more or less correct. And, it must be noted in the case of Paul, that many, many of the things he wrote were contrary to things Jesus actually, y'know, said.

yes, however, Homosexuality in the bible is pretty widespread, there are even hints of homosexual relations in the Bible ( Ruth and Naomi) come to mind.
so, leviticus.,
what's weird and I have always said this, is why people like Celldog concentrate on the part of Mosaic law that justifies their homophobia while at the same ignoring all the neat mosaic laws prohibiting them from wearing mixed fabrics, go ahead, ask him why, he won't be able to provide any reasoning, he'll have to quote the OT then he will be stuck with other laws he doesn't like, when questioned WHY they don't apply he will be unable to come up with an answer.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

****ing Psycho

[/queen mum]'ello 'ippy facist.
'ow you doin?[/queen mum]

 

[hippy fascist]

'ello

 

[Captain_BluTac]

[/queen mum]'ello 'ippy facist.
'ow you doin?[/queen mum]

The queen mother is dead dude.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Matthew 10:

36 Your enemies will be right in your own household!’

ahahahahahahahaha!
yeah, wow, Christianity, nothing like Islam at all.
I also like "those who give up their lives for me will find them" no way extremists could use that to justify something like a suicide attack or anything huh?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[Mr Sparkle]

The queen mother is dead dude.

and it's so lonely on a limb

 

[squeekness]

ahahahahahahahaha!
yeah, wow, Christianity, nothing like Islam at all.
I also like "those who give up their lives for me will find them" no way extremists could use that to justify something like a suicide attack or anything huh?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yes, but Jesus didn't mean for folks to kill in his name. That passage was referrring to those martyred for the faith (dying passively in prison, or murdered by someone else, ect) not for suicide bombers.

 

[Superhobo]

Yes, but Jesus didn't mean for folks to kill in his name. That passage was referrring to those martyred for the faith (dying passively in prison, or murdered by someone else, ect) not for suicide bombers.

I think he was saying that it could be interpreted that way; not that it necessarily meant that.

 

[Bill]

It's also strange how you don't take Genesis literally. Did you know that Jesus took Genesis "literally"???

I suspect, after taking a critical look at the available evidence, that Jesus now agrees with the evolutionary model of biologic diversity. They just need to update the scriptures.

 

[Carcharodon]

I suspect, after taking a critical look at the available evidence, that Jesus now agrees with the evolutionary model of biologic diversity. They just need to update the scriptures.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Yes, but Jesus didn't mean for folks to kill in his name. That passage was referrring to those martyred for the faith (dying passively in prison, or murdered by someone else, ect) not for suicide bombers.

yes, that's your interpretation, and you are welcomed to it, just like you choose to not judge Homosexuals, and you're also welcome to that.
other people do, so we can agree that interpretation can lead to attrocities being committed in a given religion's name, because hey, the OT? Filled with war and blood and pus and gore.
let's not even get into revelations.
it's like an Eli Roth film written by David Lynch.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

It's also strange how you don't take Genesis literally. Did you know that Jesus took Genesis "literally"???

I hear he was more a fan of Phill Collin's later work.

 

[Carcharodon]

Either that or daddy hit you too many times, and knocked something loose.

You know, as much as I disagree with Slim (understatement of the year), I just can't condone crap like this. I'm surprised Matt went so far, to be honest. Even if you think Slim is an *******, that's just not cool. Child abuse just isn't something you throw back into somebody's face...