The Mental health thread

[Venom75]

For someone who isn't a people person, you want the limelight of an actor or artist?

I know,I know. lol I like being creative though. As far as movies go,I like the idea of pretending to be someone else.

 

[spiderman2]

Maybe we're looking at this the wrong way, and so allow me to propose it in another.

@spiderman2
@Venom75

You've both indicated you're unhappiness within your employment roles, and at least one of you (maybe both) have indicated that you've been applying for jobs elsewhere, but to ask the really stupid question; what jobs are you applying for, and why are you applying for them?

If you're applying for more of the same but in a different place, I can't help but ponder that logic as there's a chance it's the profession, rather than the specific place that you dislike. To futher expand on this question...

• what do each of you consider your own strengths and weaknesses (professionally) to be?
• if qualifications and experience weren't relevant, what would be your ideal job (within a realistic boundary)?

At first for a while I was just applying at like other retail jobs and having no luck. Now I have been applying more for like office jobs. The why is that I know I am never going to get like my dream job but I just want a office setting type of job instead of retail so I can get a 8-5 Monday-friday like schedule and also because I want a job where I dont have to be on my feet for 8 hours a day so I can save my back. Sitting doesn't bother my back at all standing hours and hours does and only going to get worse with age. Also I am at the point where I fell like nothing could be worse than my current job. Money is not a big deal to me. Just give me office like job and not having to work weekends and being on my feet all day and I am good with making even like minimum wage has I am a simple man.

What do I consider my strengths and weaknesses I am not really sure. For job in a realistic boundary I am not really sure. I would love to be a nba player but yeah that is not realistic at all lol. Working I think is boring and I much rather just be able to watch tv all day or go outside and play basketball etc all day but I know that is not how life works. To me nothing and I mean nothing is has boring has work but that is just life. When people saying retiring is like boring I shack my head and think man you are crazy. But yeah I just want a job that I dont hate and dont fell like is sucking the life out of me like my current job is.

 

[Venom75]

Working I think is boring and I much rather just be able to watch tv all day or go outside and play basketball etc all day but I know that is not how life works. To me nothing and I mean nothing is has boring has work but that is just life. When people saying retiring is like boring I shack my head and think man you are crazy. But yeah I just want a job that I dont hate and dont fell like is sucking the life out of me like my current job is.

I hear ya. I mean,yeah,nobody really wants to work all day. I'm sure if most of us had a choice we'd love to not have to work. But the depression has robbed me of a lot of things,and motivation is one of them...one being the motivation for working and being around customers,dealing with their problems,the bosses stupid rules;etc,etc. I hate going to work and dealing with it all,but like you've said,sadly that's life. I would love to win the powerball so that I could not have work anymore! lol

 

[Flash525]

even getting out and walking on my own has helped put me in a better headspace. granted i do fall back into slumps sometimes, but having a friend i'm accountable to helps keep me motivated and keeps me from sabotaging myself so much

I was initially going to ask what you meant by this, but ultimately it might not matter.

As you may have read about me, I've taken up walking lately and I've been doing a lot of it, a 5/7/9mile walk is nothing to me now, and more often than not, the nicer the day, the further I'll walk.

It mostly comes down to a current inability to run and/or reluctance to cycle (too cold/wet), but even then, there are benefits to waking up some days and just thinking to yourself "today I am doing nothing" and allowing yourself a day off.

Not that you do, but you sure shouldn't feel guilty about it.

I know,I know. lol I like being creative though. As far as movies go,I like the idea of pretending to be someone else.

Maybe you could develop a split personality disorder?

@spiderman2, smaller paragraphs please dude, you're killing my eyes!

The why is that I know I am never going to get like my dream job but I just want a office setting type of job instead of retail so I can get a 8-5 Monday-friday like schedule and also because I want a job where I dont have to be on my feet for 8 hours a day so I can save my back. Sitting doesn't bother my back at all standing hours and hours does and only going to get worse with age.

It's certainly not a definite, but you've mentioned before that you want to get into better shape, right?

I'm not sensing an office job where you're sat down for the majority of the day is going to help with that.

If you suffer with a bad back, there are exercises you can do (at home with no equipment) to help with that. Also insoles for your shoes can certainly reduce back stress.

What do I consider my strengths and weaknesses I am not really sure. For job in a realistic boundary I am not really sure.

Well we're going to have to work on this...

What are you good at - practically? If you went in for a job interview and you were asked your strengths and weaknesses, what would you say?

I can almost assure you that if you were asked and you answers with I don't know, you're unlikely to be considered for employment.

Working I think is boring and I much rather just be able to watch tv all day or go outside and play basketball etc all day but I know that is not how life works.

Work for most people is boing, but it's all about balance. We go to work so we can get money to buy things and enjoy living within our means.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but to just watch tv and play basketball ... that's not remotely ambitious, and whilst ambition in itself isn't for everyone, you're going to need a bit of it if you want to progress in life.

I would love to win the powerball so that I could not have work anymore! lol

Short of buying me a new bike and a nice big cake ( ) what would you do if you won the powerball?

It's great to have money, I'm sure, but money doesn't buy true happiness, so without (a) job, how would you spend your time?

 

[ComicChick]

It mostly comes down to a current inability to run and/or reluctance to cycle (too cold/wet), but even then, there are benefits to waking up some days and just thinking to yourself "today I am doing nothing" and allowing yourself a day off.

Not that you do, but you sure shouldn't feel guilty about it.

i totally feel guilty about it! lol have you met me /rhetorical

 

[Venom75]

Short of buying me a new bike and a nice big cake ( ) what would you do if you won the powerball?

It's great to have money, I'm sure, but money doesn't buy true happiness, so without (a) job, how would you spend your time?

I really wouldn't go nuts with the money and buy,like,15 cars and 3 houses. Since I like to collect pop culture statues/figures;etc I'd purchase some of the rarest of most expensive ones. I'd have an entire room in my house dedicated to the Spider-man trilogy,Freddy Krueger,Godzilla and all my pop culture loves. But,honestly,I would also donate alot of some of my favorite charities,and of course,I'd give some to family and friends.
I'm sure that I'd go on trips and such once in a while,but why leave my house when I have everything there I wanted? I'd have a workout room and enough room in my driveway for playing street hockey;etc.

 

[spiderman2]

I hear ya. I mean,yeah,nobody really wants to work all day. I'm sure if most of us had a choice we'd love to not have to work. But the depression has robbed me of a lot of things,and motivation is one of them...one being the motivation for working and being around customers,dealing with their problems,the bosses stupid rules;etc,etc. I hate going to work and dealing with it all,but like you've said,sadly that's life. I would love to win the powerball so that I could not have work anymore! lol

Yeah I kind of disagree with money dont buy happiness lol. It cant buy health may be able to get better treatments if you have a issue but cant keep you from having a major health issue and it cant buy true love but if I was ritch just like that I would be way happier and its not because I need a lot of money its just not having to worry about how to pay bills and all the more free time you would have has I value free time a lot and right now with hating work and also trying to find a new job I fell like all I do is work or look for work so I fell like I have no free time. So yeah its not that I need a lot its just the fact it would give you the free time and not having to be at a job I hate in the first place. If I won a lot of money I would just quite work and enjoy watching a lot of sports, playing video games, playing basketball and golf. I would also go to a lot of sporting events to and depending on like how much money you are talking about I would find a way to give some of it to charity or something has I would like to be able to help people with the money I dont really need.

Yeah I am like the same with depression and motivation and being around customers to. Customers didn't used to bother me but now because I am so annoyed with like everything else I get annoyed over like ever thing, and customers are so oblivious its not even funny like I dont know how people drive a car with how oblivious people are. I fell like I have had to surpess feelings for a long long time over several different things including woman issues including some right now but mostly just dealing with the stupid stuff at work, and like I said I suck at hiding how I fell and I fell like the last several years has been like a patient test to in a lot of ways and I am not naturally a patient person either. So having to try to stay patient and having to hide or at least try to hide how I fell 2 things I suck at doing and both I am having to deal with.

Last because its been going on so long with not finding a new job it has killed my self esteem and some issues with woman has also killed my self esteem. So not only am I in a situation where I have to deal with everything being broken, no help and that is worse right now has they are cutting hours even though we are slamed they dont know how to run the place/to money hungry but I am also having to try to hide the fact ever day that I fell completly worthiess in that I fell like woman hate me and dont even want my friendship, and worthless in that I fell like jobs dont want to hirer me. Just a lot of different emotions and a lot of different things causing it.

I was initially going to ask what you meant by this, but ultimately it might not matter.

As you may have read about me, I've taken up walking lately and I've been doing a lot of it, a 5/7/9mile walk is nothing to me now, and more often than not, the nicer the day, the further I'll walk.

It mostly comes down to a current inability to run and/or reluctance to cycle (too cold/wet), but even then, there are benefits to waking up some days and just thinking to yourself "today I am doing nothing" and allowing yourself a day off.

Not that you do, but you sure shouldn't feel guilty about it.

Maybe you could develop a split personality disorder?

@spiderman2, smaller paragraphs please dude, you're killing my eyes!
It's certainly not a definite, but you've mentioned before that you want to get into better shape, right?

I'm not sensing an office job where you're sat down for the majority of the day is going to help with that.

If you suffer with a bad back, there are exercises you can do (at home with no equipment) to help with that. Also insoles for your shoes can certainly reduce back stress.

Well we're going to have to work on this...

What are you good at - practically? If you went in for a job interview and you were asked your strengths and weaknesses, what would you say?

I can almost assure you that if you were asked and you answers with I don't know, you're unlikely to be considered for employment.

Work for most people is boing, but it's all about balance. We go to work so we can get money to buy things and enjoy living within our means.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but to just watch tv and play basketball ... that's not remotely ambitious, and whilst ambition in itself isn't for everyone, you're going to need a bit of it if you want to progress in life.

Short of buying me a new bike and a nice big cake ( ) what would you do if you won the powerball?

It's great to have money, I'm sure, but money doesn't buy true happiness, so without (a) job, how would you spend your time?

I do want to lose weight yes right now I am about 215 for my height I should not be above like 185 so around 30 lbs over weight. I would like to get down to like 195 so like 20lbs is what I would like to lose. Well right now I am on my feet and I walk like 8-10 miles a day with my job so yeah I do get some walking exercise but you burn ca a lot faster if you run than like walk and if I had a new job I would be way way more motivated to come home and work out and to also eat better. Right now I may be getting some walking exercise but I am more than replacing that with how bad I am eating has I am stress eating a lot of things like ice cream, cookies etc and for the last few months there have been donuts in the break room almost ever day. Its also hard to exercise when I am so sleep deprived all the time and stressed to the point where some times I fell sick to my stomach has a result.

Shoe inserts I do have and they help a lot before I had them I could hardly get threw a shift with out wanting to cry because my back would kill me so much. With those I have some days but way better but I also know something like that is only going to get worse with age. I am 31 right now if I am still doing a standing job by like 40 I dont think I am going to get around that well any more.

I know what are you good at/bad at is like a told interview question but its a type of question I dont really know how to answer well and a question I fell like I just have to try to BS my way with. lol I dont know why people act like there is something wrong if you would like to just like watch sports/play video games etc. Ever one has different hobbies so what difference does that make? You cant do your hobbies 24/7 that is life so having hobbies donsnt mean that you are not going to work hard or something. Also there is a reason that retired people tend to be happier because they can just do what they want 24/7. I bet if people didn't have to work people would live longer and over all be way less stressed out.

 

[Flash525]

I'd purchase some of the rarest of most expensive ones. I'd have an entire room in my house dedicated to the Spider-man trilogy,Freddy Krueger,Godzilla and all my pop culture loves.

That's not a bad shout. I certainly know some of these cost a small fortune. I wish I had the finances (and the room) for a collection of my own.

I'm sure that I'd go on trips and such once in a while, but why leave my house when I have everything there I wanted? I'd have a workout room and enough room in my driveway for playing street hockey;etc.

I can't speak for you, but home is where is wake up in the morning, and return to at the end of the day.

I enjoy spending my days outside, away from home, doing things. Even with a large driveway, gym, video games and a large amount of pop culture, I'd still want to get out. I'd go out of my mind if I was stuck in with my own company for weeks, months, or even years on end.

This is one of the reasons I'm thankful not to be living in a city and/or tower block during this covid crisis. I know a lot of people are struggling mentally with all of this, despite having a financial backing.

I know what are you good at/bad at is like a told interview question but its a type of question I dont really know how to answer well and a question I fell like I just have to try to BS my way with.

And you wonder why you're struggling to get a new job?

Don't take this the wrong way, but the vast majority of employers aren't stupid when it comes to recruitment; recruitment agents see numerous people on a frequent basis, and they're more than capable of seeing through the BS.

By lying about yourself in interviews, you're not doing yourself any favours.

I dont know why people act like there is something wrong if you would like to just like watch sports/play video games etc. Ever one has different hobbies so what difference does that make?

Where did I say it was wrong? From my perspective, it just shows a lack of ambition or drive, which I'd think to be an obstacle when trying to promote oneself.

Also there is a reason that retired people tend to be happier because they can just do what they want 24/7. I bet if people didn't have to work people would live longer and over all be way less stressed out.

Where has this come from? Retired people aren't always happier.

Over the last five years, give or take, I'd say about 15 people have reached the age of retirement from my workplace. At least a third of them, as far as I know, are now dead. Nothing to do with covid, they simply retired ... and did nothing.

My point here, a job gives us an element of purpose, a reason to get up in the morning, a sense of purpose, and of course a means of income.

Many people say they'd rather not work, but in honestly, I think a lot of people who say that would find themselves bored and dwindling away if they had no reason to get up in the morning.

...and please, briefer paragraphs.

 

[spiderman2]

The whole idea that a job gives people a purpose just seems silly to me and where did that come from is that I remember seeing several article/stats about how people that are more around retirement age tend to be more happy and less stressed out.

 

[Flash525]

The whole idea that a job gives people a purpose just seems silly to me

That may be because you would prefer to sit around and do nothing.

I would argue that the purpose of life isn't to be happy - at least not all of the time, but rather to be of use. If you're useless, then what's your purpose here? There's no purpose in someone who is selfish.

Think about most of the people that don't work, the millionaires who live the lavish lifestyle. What exactly do they bring to the table? What is their purpose in life? If they're not giving anything, then would the world be any better or worse without them in it?

We work, and by doing so we either directly, or indirectly give something to the world. We also work so that we can acquire finances to enjoy our lives - at least within realistic confinements. Without work, we'd be nothing more than a hindrance.

With work, we can sometimes make friends, we can interact with people (colleagues and/or customers), we can learn, it often gets us out of the house, and it further pays for our holidays, our gym memberships, our video games, our food, our home comforts, our clothes, our cinema tickets.

If you don't, or wont agree with what I'm saying, then maybe you'll take notice of someone who's a lot smarter than the both of us; Stephen Hawking. He is quoted as saying that work gives us meaning and purpose, and without work, life is empty and pointless.

Click here for the reference.

A final question for you though; seeing as you don't think work gives anyone a purpose. What is your purpose?

and where did that come from is that I remember seeing several article/stats about how people that are more around retirement age tend to be more happy and less stressed out.

That's probably generally because people who have reached the age where they can retire don't have anything to stress about, the problem is, many of them find they don't have anything left to live for, and just end up sitting about at home and open themselves up to an early grave.

 

[spiderman2]

That may be because you would prefer to sit around and do nothing.

I would argue that the purpose of life isn't to be happy - at least not all of the time, but rather to be of use. If you're useless, then what's your purpose here? There's no purpose in someone who is selfish.

Think about most of the people that don't work, the millionaires who live the lavish lifestyle. What exactly do they bring to the table? What is their purpose in life? If they're not giving anything, then would the world be any better or worse without them in it?

We work, and by doing so we either directly, or indirectly give something to the world. We also work so that we can acquire finances to enjoy our lives - at least within realistic confinements. Without work, we'd be nothing more than a hindrance.

With work, we can sometimes make friends, we can interact with people (colleagues and/or customers), we can learn, it often gets us out of the house, and it further pays for our holidays, our gym memberships, our video games, our food, our home comforts, our clothes, our cinema tickets.

If you don't, or wont agree with what I'm saying, then maybe you'll take notice of someone who's a lot smarter than the both of us; Stephen Hawking. He is quoted as saying that work gives us meaning and purpose, and without work, life is empty and pointless.

Click here for the reference.

A final question for you though; seeing as you don't think work gives anyone a purpose. What is your purpose?

That's probably generally because people who have reached the age where they can retire don't have anything to stress about, the problem is, many of them find they don't have anything left to live for, and just end up sitting about at home and open themselves up to an early grave.

Saying many of them find they dont have anything left to live for and just end up in a early grave sounds like depression not being happy so that dont make sense with the fact that retired age people tend to be more happy. Right now with the way things are going and felling like I cant catch a break I would say my purpose is to just be missible forever. I dont really considering doing something you hate for like 30-40-50 years and where you get under paid has really being use and most jobs out side of like police, doctor, teacher you are not really like impacting the world or any thing so. Work I just consider a waste of time but its how life is. Yes money pays for things that is why I said you have to work but it dont change the fact that work is more boring than any thing and that I would rather spend my time doing another things and there are ways to get out of the house besides work, such has playing basketball, going for a walk, golfing etc.

Well for people who make a lot of money it gives them a chance to help a lot of people that a normal person wouldn't be able to do in both that you have the money and you may have a lot more time to do stuff to help people. For example say you are a actor and you do a movie and make a lot of money and dont do another movie for a while you could spend that time between movies going around and helping people where someone who works a 8-5 40 hours a week and dosnt have a lot of crazy amount of money like cant go around the same way to help people.

 

[spiderman2]

When it comes to jobs and interviews yeah bs a answer may not be a good idea but sometimes that is all you can do and my bigger issue is getting a interview in the first place has I maybe get 1 interview out of 100 jobs I put in for in the first place in I am lucky. Its just all rejection emails/ not hearing back.

 

[Flash525]

Saying many of them find they dont have anything left to live for and just end up in a early grave sounds like depression not being happy so that dont make sense with the fact that retired age people tend to be more happy.

Maybe it is depression. If some reaches the retirement age and realises that they haven't actually got anything left to do, then what's the point of going on?

Right now with the way things are going and felling like I cant catch a break I would say my purpose is to just be missible forever.

Being miserable isn't a purpose. That's an excuse.

You've bee given suggestions regarding managing yourself previously, but you seem ... oblivious to them.

I dont really considering doing something you hate for like 30-40-50 years and where you get under paid has really being use and most jobs out side of like police, doctor, teacher you are not really like impacting the world or any thing so. Work I just consider a waste of time but its how life is.

Yes money pays for things that is why I said you have to work but it dont change the fact that work is more boring than any thing and that I would rather spend my time doing another things and there are ways to get out of the house besides work, such has playing basketball, going for a walk, golfing etc.

So if you didn't work, you'd happily spend every waking hour gaming, playing basketball or golf? I think you'll get bored of that eventually.

Think about what fills your life, and the lives of people in general. When we're young, we fill out time with enjoyment and school. We then move onto further education and/or employment. It's a balance.

Well for people who make a lot of money it gives them a chance to help a lot of people that a normal person wouldn't be able to do in both that you have the money and you may have a lot more time to do stuff to help people.

Except that a lot of people who have a lot of money don't help people. The majority of the rich are selfish hoarders.

For example say you are a actor and you do a movie and make a lot of money and dont do another movie for a while you could spend that time between movies going around and helping people where someone who works a 8-5 40 hours a week and dosnt have a lot of crazy amount of money like cant go around the same way to help people.

You don't need money to help people. The best resource is time, not money.

I work a 40hr week too, and I volunteer my time with a mental health awareness charity; at least 5/6 hours every other week, and I could probably manage more of the voluntary shifts worked out.

You don't need money to make a difference. You need empathy.

 

[Flash525]

When it comes to jobs and interviews yeah bs a answer may not be a good idea but sometimes that is all you can do and my bigger issue is getting a interview in the first place has I maybe get 1 interview out of 100 jobs I put in for in the first place in I am lucky. Its just all rejection emails/ not hearing back.

If your CV has the same attitude about it that you have when you go for your interviews, I'm not surprised you're met with rejection.

 

[Green Goblin]

I just graduated from university last July and struggled to get a graduate role for 6 months. Had to work retail jobs which I hated but I've found a graduate role now.

I feel for anyone who's stuck in a job they hate. I'd recommend looking into internships or even looking into volunteering with charities and doing roles similar to what you want to do. Experience is the main thing employers are looking for, even more so than educational qualifications.

 

[Venom75]

Correct me if I'm wrong,but I once heard that Americans work the most out of everyone in the world. Like,I think most Europeans only work like 30 hours a week,and Americans do 40 or more. At least,something to that effect.

 

[Flash525]

Correct me if I'm wrong,but I once heard that Americans work the most out of everyone in the world. Like,I think most Europeans only work like 30 hours a week,and Americans do 40 or more. At least,something to that effect.

I live and work in the UK (we're not part of the EU anymore), but we're still kinda in the European area.

I can certainly state that the majority of workers (from what I understand) work near enough a 40hr week.

I can't speak for any other country, but working a 40hr week still leaves ample time to study or to volunteer or to have hobbies other than sitting around at home.

 

[Venom75]

Had a min-meltdown tonight. I just can't get over my ex...dammit!!!

 

[ComicChick]

Correct me if I'm wrong,but I once heard that Americans work the most out of everyone in the world. Like,I think most Europeans only work like 30 hours a week,and Americans do 40 or more. At least,something to that effect.

this is my 3rd day off in two weeks.
i worked 12 hours days from Saturday to Wednesday and 8 on Thursday.

i resemble this remark :/

 

[Venom75]

I hope everyone is doing well today? Winter is finally over and the pandemic seems to be getting under control a bit. Still a ways to go,but I'm hopeful for summer time.

 

[InCali]

this is my 3rd day off in two weeks.
i worked 12 hours days from Saturday to Wednesday and 8 on Thursday.

i resemble this remark :/

Are you hourly or OT exempt?

 

[ComicChick]

Are you hourly or OT exempt?

Hourly but can get OT or Comp Time in certain situations.

 

[InCali]

Hourly but can get OT or Comp Time in certain situations.

How do they get away with having you work over 40/week or 80 biweekly w/o paying OT? Never heard of such a thing. That used to be a federal law.

 

[ComicChick]

Federal employee. I got OT.

 

[InCali]

Federal employee. I got OT.

Oh. Good. I'm not sure if this is a federal law, but in California, you could select comp time or time and a half OT once a year. In our contract we were able to negotiate double time OT if you worked a certain amount of time over the 40 hours (over 40 was time and a half). That cut down on the kind of crap you have to keep going through.

EDIT: I think I misunderstood. I think you meant comp time in certain situations. I thought you meant OT or comp time in certain situations....meaning sometimes you couldn't get either.