The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from a customer

[Wilhelm-Scream]

The Puff "N" Stuff I remember wouldn't know where porn was.....I think you are an imposter.

 

[jaguarr]

Oh, Bettie, how could you!?

jag

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

That was ages ago. She's subsequently repented.

 

[jaguarr]

That was ages ago. She's subsequently repented.

Yes, I believe she's madly in love with Jeebus, now.

jag

 

[C. Lee]

Ye 'ave brokin' me 'eart......YARGHHHHHHHHH!

Betty.....how could you?

 

[Laa Dee Dah]

Way to ruin a great thread Tom.

 

[redmarvel]

The company where I used to work was very small and the boss would actually handle the IT night support desk. One night a woman who worked for one of our clients after hours called him up. She couldn't log on, her password wasn't working. He dialed into their system (we insisted all our clients have modems so we could access their system when necessary). He looked up her user name and password and typed them both in. No problems. So he had her try it, she still couldn't get on. It took him a while to realize that she was mis-spelling the password she'ld been using for the past year. He told her she needed to get herself another cup of coffee.

 

[Immortalfire]

Rich A-Hole: Yes, boy. I believe our party is ready to order our meals, so let's stop just standing around and get a move on, eh? Chop chop! Hahahahahahaaaaaaaa! (Tries to make the people he's with think he's just having fun with me instead of being a rude, obnoxious A-Hole by laughing loudly)

Rich A-Hole: Oh, yeah, and I'll have the baked potato loaded with everything. Tell the chef to pick out the biggest one for me! I don't want some little tiny thing on my plate. And no vegetables or salad. I'm a MAN not a rabbit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Oh, yeah, and I'll take another martini, too. Tell the bartender not to skimp on the Glen Livet this time!


Rich A-Hole: I don't think you understood me, boy, we need bread! Now! HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Rich A-Hole would have been slapped as a result of that stupid fake laughing.

 

[Man-Thing]

Once when I worked at the pig farm, some teenagers came and asked if we sold turkey bacon.

Their corpses are now in my crawl space.

 

[Angry Sentinel]

The company where I used to work was very small and the boss would actually handle the IT night support desk. One night a woman who worked for one of our clients after hours called him up. She couldn't log on, her password wasn't working. He dialed into their system (we insisted all our clients have modems so we could access their system when necessary). He looked up her user name and password and typed them both in. No problems. So he had her try it, she still couldn't get on. It took him a while to realize that she was mis-spelling the password she'ld been using for the past year. He told her she needed to get herself another cup of coffee.

I understand that tech is new for an entire generation, but it's still amazing how computer- illiterate people can be. I've worked retail and in business environments, but I've never come across anything as silly as when I worked the IT support desk.


Me: This call will be recorded for customer quality assurance
Lost CP User: Good, you are monitoring all this, I thought I would have to explain it to you.
Me: No Sir, that just means I am recording the call for our training purposes.
Lost CP User: Godda**it, there is no way I can tell you what I need
Me: Well sir, that's a tough one, not sure how I will help you (translation... you knew this before you called and yet you called me anyway). Why don't you start at the beginning. I need the model number of your PC, and seriel number.
Lost CP user: That's what I've been trying to tell you, I just bought this Laptop from the guy off the street, you know, the trunk special. The damn thing powered up, but when I connected to the internet it just went on the blink.
Me: ...
Lost CP User: So what can you do for me!!??
Me: First advice, never admit that you bought a hot Laptop on a call that you've been informed is being recorded... other than that, take it to the closest computer repair shop and stay away from the trunk special salesman.

 

[ElectroFlare]

I work in CVS, a retail drug store. I work in the photo lab, which also is the primary cashier. I won't get into how annoying that is, and onto my story.

A woman comes up and places her purchases on the counter. I begin scanning, and come to a large botle of Poland Spring.

"Did that scan at half price?" The woman asks in that 'i'm-a-*****-and-don't-care-what-you-say-i'm-right voice.

"No ma'am, I'm sorry, let me check our sales paper for this week." I say, and do just that, knowing full well the water isn't on sale. Alas, it isn't in the paper.

"I'm sorry, it doesn't appear to be on sale."

"The sign back there says it is." She says and shoots daggers at me with her eyes. I sigh, and walk back to the coolers(the only place where we have the water bottles) and see no sale sign at all.

I walk back and say "I'm sorry, but there is no sale sign back there."

"Did you look in the cooler?" She demands.

"Yes I did. Perhaps you could show me the sign that you saw." I said.

The coolers are located in the back of the store. She walks over across the front of the store and points all the way to the coolers.

"There." She says.

"I'm sorry, but there's no sale signs there." She gets mad and stomps over to the cooler and points at a completely different shelf then the bottled water she bought. It says "Poland Spring flavored water 50% off clearance"

"What does that say?" She says.

"That sign means that the items on that shelf are clearence. That only applies to those specific items." I say politely, knowing that I've won.

"But does it say Poland Spring on it?" She asks.

"Yes. But if it were to apply to all poland spring, we would have large sale signs, not clearance signs, and they would be on all the water bottles." I said politely.

"But it says Poland Spring, right?" She says in an overtly rude voice.

"Yes, it does." I procede to ring her up at full price.

 

[Ronny Shade]

dumb 'yatch

 

[HR-PUFF&STUFF]

when i worked at spencers gifts we got these woman come up to the gate after we closed and ask me (as i am mopping the floor) is she could come in and look around.
i told her no because we were closed.
she then ask buy something.
i said no because again we were closed and our computers were shut down and the money was out of the til.
she then asked if i could tell her the prices of a few of the items we had in the front of the store.
i then told her that we were closed and that should come back the next day and that everything would still be there.

or

the people that would buy only Half a lava lamp then come back and complan that we ripped them off.

Or

the gandmother that bought her gandson "Love Cuffs" and then his mother came in and *****ed us out for selling them to a kid.

 

[Noon]

when i worked at spencers gifts we got these woman come up to the gate after we closed and ask me (as i am mopping the floor) is she could come in and look around.
i told her no because we were closed.
she then ask buy something.
i said no because again we were closed and our computers were shut down and the money was out of the til.
she then asked if i could tell her the prices of a few of the items we had in the front of the store.
i then told her that we were closed and that should come back the next day and that everything would still be there.

or

the people that would buy only Half a lava lamp then come back and complan that we ripped them off.

Or

the gandmother that bought her gandson "Love Cuffs" and then his mother came in and *****ed us out for selling them to a kid.

How can you buy half a lava lamp

 

[HR-PUFF&STUFF]

How can you buy half a lava lamp

it comes in two parts A) the base and cap B) the lamp part with the crap inside.

its so you can mix and match, insted of haveing to buy a base you hate to get the lamp you like.

 

[redmarvel]

You're Ghetto Fabulous

What the blue blazes does THAT mean?

 

[terry78]

Though some people that work at the stores are just asses in general. I went into Walgreen's last night at about 7:49 and the girl yells at me, "we're closed!" I was like, "I thought ya'll closed at 8," and she says, "We do. But it's too close to closing to start bringing up the registers again." Oh so you shut your **** down ten minutes before closing, huh? I see how you are. I admit, when someone calls tech support like two minutes before we close I'm pissed, but you still have to help them out.

 

[Angry Sentinel]

they should've at least locked the door first... I thought everyone knew that trick.

 

[Jennifer Walters]

It never ceases to amaze me at the number of dumbass people that cause they saw an ad on TV for Scary Movie 4, Silent Hill, etc, etc, can come into a rental chain and go..

''Do you have Scary Movie 4?"

''No, it's in theaters only mam. It'll probably be in the store much later. Like in the fall."

'But I saw an ad on TV."

'Announcing that it was in theaters. This is a rental chain."

''Oh."

 

[terry78]

^I have seen that many times.

 

[Erzengel]

It never ceases to amaze me at the number of dumbass people that cause they saw an ad on TV for Scary Movie 4, Silent Hill, etc, etc, can come into a rental chain and go..

''Do you have Scary Movie 4?"

''No, it's in theaters only mam. It'll probably be in the store much later. Like in the fall."

'But I saw an ad on TV."

'Announcing that it was in theaters. This is a rental chain."

''Oh."

LOL.

You just brought back tons of memories from working at a movie store. You guys are lucky now movies when they were only available on VHS usually only went for rental prices of $99.99 and then months later to $20.00. Now with dvds and quick to dvd times that's no longer an issue. But try explaining to customers why their movie isn't out yet.

Oh and explaining why some movies aren't on video/dvd. I got many do you have Transformers the Movie? Thankfully that was put on but then taken off.

 

[Immortalfire]

I work in CVS, a retail drug store. I work in the photo lab, which also is the primary cashier.

It is for that very reason, I don't go to CVS. Checking out at the photo lab all the time is ******ed.

 

[Erzengel]

He is your friend when things get rough!!!

 

[britrogue]

When I worked at a builders merchants, we were asked for a "Shark-proof washing-machine" WTF?

 

[Obi-Ron]

It never ceases to amaze me at the number of dumbass people that cause they saw an ad on TV for Scary Movie 4, Silent Hill, etc, etc, can come into a rental chain and go..

''Do you have Scary Movie 4?"

''No, it's in theaters only mam. It'll probably be in the store much later. Like in the fall."

'But I saw an ad on TV."

'Announcing that it was in theaters. This is a rental chain."

''Oh."

How many people return letterbox movies claiming they have "defective" black bars on the top & bottom of the screen?