The Virginity Question

[Erzengel]

I admire those who can wait until marriage, that just wasn't for me.

I don't have an issue for those who are virgins on principle if it's something like, yeah I've had several girlfriends and some of them didn't work out because they didn't share my view of abstinence til marriage.

I just question those who are virgins out of principle but have never had a real relationship or any other opportunity. I'm wondering is out of principle or because they never been on a date before. The whole fear of being in a relationship turns into well....I'm just waiting for the right one.

 

[Watson]

I think the thing I have trouble understanding is people who let their virginity define you in some way. I don't mean in that if you have sex you're a ****, if you don't you're a prude. I mean that somehow something will be different about you after you've had sex. Having sex isn't going to change who you are. You'll be the same person, hopefully with more orgasms.

 

[Darthphere]

Exactly. This is why I don't understand this whole "my virginity means something to me" idea. It's almost like an indictment on people that didn't wait for....well I don't know what they're waiting for.

 

[Eggyman]

I was young when I lost it. Although there were some quite vigorous sessions of doctors and nurses that blur the line of when it was actually lost. I guess I was 15 when I actually came away from it thinking, Yes, that was actually proper sex and not just slapping and rubbing and poking--this time doing it in a bed rather than a Spider-Man tent or under a coat, drunk, with my mate's dog watching (I made that dog sick later that night by feeding it potpouri). So, in short, I was young enough for my virginity to never be a problem or a burden.

It'd gone before I knew it was there.

 

[Assassin32]

This thread is full of lolz.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I admire those who can wait until marriage, that just wasn't for me.

I don't have an issue for those who are virgins on principle if it's something like, yeah I've had several girlfriends and some of them didn't work out because they didn't share my view of abstinence til marriage.

I just question those who are virgins out of principle but have never had a real relationship or any other opportunity. I'm wondering is out of principle or because they never been on a date before. The whole fear of being in a relationship turns into well....I'm just waiting for the right one.

I'm not sure if I do, I think it's very naive actually sex is an important part of marriage and you should make sure you're sexually compatible before proposing. It's more than just "putting tab A in slot B".

 

[Marx]

I think Marx is agreeing with me and Hob in a roundabout way, that we chose to stay virgins longer than what is typical because we wanted to wait until we were ready. That "waiting until we were ready" meant something, even if "being a virgin" wasn't the goal.

Yep.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Guess I will be a virgin forever I have a very under developed "you know private part" much too small to do anything with besides urinate & even that can be difficult at times unless I am sitting down. Surgery to correct the problem is to expensive & would only guarantee minimal length results at the most, so attempting to be with any girl would only lead to her hurting my feelings from laughing at it being so small.

The solution to your so called "problem" is learning how to touch a woman in bed. Lots of touching and tongue action. Take your time with it. After you warm her up properly she wont care about the size of your ding dong.

I may be a virgin but I have learned a few things.

BTW, I've heard that women complain more that their lover's wang is too big more often than its too small. If its too big it can hurt when it bumps against her cervix. A smaller one is more comfortable.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

im 19 i lost mine when i was 16 , people all ways said its better being a virgin because you expect more about having sex because its not really that good and i didnt believe them.

but when your having sex it really is not that great

Then you probably weren't with the right person, having sex is great when you're with the right person.

 

[Anita18]

I think the thing I have trouble understanding is people who let their virginity define you in some way. I don't mean in that if you have sex you're a ****, if you don't you're a prude. I mean that somehow something will be different about you after you've had sex. Having sex isn't going to change who you are. You'll be the same person, hopefully with more orgasms.

Right. But I think choosing to be a virgin out of principle (whatever that principle may be - readiness or religious) DOES say something about you, even if being a virgin doesn't define who you are.

I just question those who are virgins out of principle but have never had a real relationship or any other opportunity. I'm wondering is out of principle or because they never been on a date before. The whole fear of being in a relationship turns into well....I'm just waiting for the right one.

Yeah, and that can put unnecessarily pressure on any potential relationships. Which isn't really fair to anybody involved. But that's up for the individual to figure out.

The solution to your so called "problem" is learning how to touch a woman in bed. Lots of touching and tongue action. Take your time with it. After you warm her up properly she wont care about the size of your ding dong.

I may be a virgin but I have learned a few things.

BTW, I've heard that women complain more that their lover's wang is too big more often than its too small. If its too big it can hurt when it bumps against her cervix. A smaller one is more comfortable.

Hob is wise for being a grasshopper. Guys can be really obsessed with sticking things into holes, but as I said, kind of overrated for some women.

When I see people saying they really like big wangs I'm thinking, "You must be built like the Lincoln Tunnel down there!"

 

[Erzengel]

Reah, and that can put unnecessarily pressure on any potential relationships. Which isn't really fair to anybody involved. But that's up for the individual to figure out.

I guess what I was alluding to was once they were in their first stable relationship if the the whole virginity question goes out the window.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Hob is wise for being a grasshopper.

I may not know sex in practice, but I've got it down to a science when it comes to theory.

 

[Harls]

Oh, I agree. It's not even restraint - there are things that people have made to specially prevent STDs and/or pregnancies. Some people just don't think. Well, most people in high school don't.

While it's true that there's a huge lack of common sense in high school, there's also a lack of general knowledge & an abundance of social stigmas. As we've already mentioned in this thread, so many teens -- my peers -- either don't know how to protect themselves during sex, or have been told that sex is wrong and so when they do do it they sneak around and either don't bother to be safe OR the resources are not readily available to them.

 

[SpideyVille]

I guess what I was alluding to was once they were in their first stable relationship if the the whole virginity question goes out the window.

For me personally, it wouldn't. Not that I'm saying that my virginity means something special to me or what not, or that I'm waiting for marriage or something (though I'm still open to that idea). But rather I've know myself well enough to know that I'll fall for a girl and think I'm in love with her really quickly, when really it'll be me just really liking the fact that she's around and not wanting to lose that. So If I were in a relationship, I would want to take things slow on all levels, especially since I would want to make a good boyfriend first. So sex would probably be the last thing I would be thinking about. I mean, obviously I'll be thinking of it, but I won't really try to make it happen so quickly.

 

[Erzengel]

Yeah, the thing about "what if" scenarios is you don't know how you'll really act unless you are in that situation. It's easy to be an armchair quarterback, it's a lot different if you were actually on the field.

 

[Darthphere]

Yeah, the thing about "what if" scenarios is you don't know how you'll really act unless you are in that situation. It's easy to be an armchair quarterback, it's a lot different if you were actually on the field.

Or plowing the field if you know what I mean.

 

[Erzengel]

*high five*

 

[Anita18]

While it's true that there's a huge lack of common sense in high school, there's also a lack of general knowledge & an abundance of social stigmas. As we've already mentioned in this thread, so many teens -- my peers -- either don't know how to protect themselves during sex, or have been told that sex is wrong and so when they do do it they sneak around and either don't bother to be safe OR the resources are not readily available to them.

Yeah, if you want to go on BC when you're a minor it'd be hard to get around your parents. And you could bump into people you know buying condoms in a store. And depending on the household, you might not even be able to get them online if your parents open all your mail.

I think having resources available even in high school would be good.

 

[Calvin]

For me personally, it wouldn't. Not that I'm saying that my virginity means something special to me or what not, or that I'm waiting for marriage or something (though I'm still open to that idea). But rather I've know myself well enough to know that I'll fall for a girl and think I'm in love with her really quickly, when really it'll be me just really liking the fact that she's around and not wanting to lose that. So If I were in a relationship, I would want to take things slow on all levels, especially since I would want to make a good boyfriend first. So sex would probably be the last thing I would be thinking about. I mean, obviously I'll be thinking of it, but I won't really try to make it happen so quickly.

Might it not be equally as likely that if you're in a head over heels relationship, that the girl might not want to take it really really slowly? I don't see why going real slow necessarily makes it more special, or make the odds better that the relationship will last longer. Maybe if the sex will ultimately wind up being bad, then I guess you give yourself some more time with her before if falls apart by taking it super slow. I think it would be better to just let sexuality come naturally as it comes, rather than try to willfully pace it. If the sex is good, then that's just another strong bond that you can both share.

 

[SpideyVille]

Yeah, the thing about "what if" scenarios is you don't know how you'll really act unless you are in that situation. It's easy to be an armchair quarterback, it's a lot different if you were actually on the field.

Well, a while ago there was this girl that I was starting to get to know and was spending a lot of time with. I knew by the way that she acted around me that she liked and was interested, and even though I kinda liked her, we were just friends and I wasn't quite ready or willing for something more. But after a couple of weeks, she asked if I wanted to eskimo kiss while we were at school. I turned her down because, as innocent as it seemed, I felt like something more would happen and it wasn't really any kind of territory that I wanted to tread in at that time. I know sex is different, and part of me regrets doing what I did to her, but I'm glad I didn't go for it then because a month later we stopped talking and she really changed.

 

[SpideyVille]

Might it not be equally as likely that if you're in a head over heels relationship, that the girl might not want to take it really really slowly? I don't see why going real slow necessarily makes it more special, or make the odds better that the relationship will last longer. Maybe if the sex will ultimately wind up being bad, then I guess you give yourself some more time with her before if falls apart by taking it super slow. I think it would be better to just let sexuality come naturally as it comes, rather than try to willfully pace it. If the sex is good, then that's just another strong bond that you can both share.

True, though I know a lot of people who have stood in relationships just because for the sex, while everything else was bad. So the relationship was basically based on how good the sex was, and personally I wouldn't want to be in something like that.

 

[Calvin]

True, though I know a lot of people who have stood in relationships just because for the sex, while everything else was bad. So the relationship was basically based on how good the sex was, and personally I wouldn't want to be in something like that.

The opposite is just as bad. The reality is that the worth of a relationship is going to be a balance of the two sides, it's rarely so black and white. You might as well find out if you're sexually compatible early on, as it's going to ultimately be a very important factor.

 

[B.A. Baracus]

Calvin are you aware how wrong your avvy looks?

 

[Anita18]

Calvin are you aware how wrong your avvy looks?

 

[Calvin]

Dude, she's clearly tying his shoes, stop being a pervert.