The words of wisdom/random advice/etc. thread

[Edd Extraordinaire]

Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it.

Four fingers, one thumb, and a bottle of jurgens is your best friend when your luck is down, and your pants as well.

 

[unknownuser]

"A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one !"
- Homer Jay Simpson

 

[Venom'sDad]

NO....a woman is like an old tire.......you have to plug the holes up a few times....before you get a new one..... Firestone 1898

 

[Man-Thing]

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

"Don't try... Do!"

"Don't not take preperation H orally."

 

[November Rain]

good or bad luck is nothing but the right or wrong mix of opportunity, preparation and timing.

If you spend all your time looking for something, the chances are you are never really going to find it. Best bet is to let it find you, and then you can smile.

Try not to take out your misery on the people who care about you.

Be rocks to many people as you'll be surprised how many people you would need to rely on when you're chips are down.

Try and go to bed happy.

Remember those who have treated you well and treated you badly and try and think about what separates these two people from one another. Realise it will be just as easy for your best friend to stab you in the back and have your greatest enemy help you back on your feet. We are all human at the end of the day.

pick up the phone once in a while and catch up with old friends and loved ones. A single call can make such a difference in someone's life.

 

[hey yo its sean]

You can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick.

 

[Zen]

For instant chaos, add one egg.






ps. Dick comedy is boring.

 

[unknownuser]

When a twig grows hard it is difficult to twist it. Every beginning is weak.

 

[Erzengel]

Never put a woman on a pedestal because all she will do is pee all over you. Never put a woman beneath you because she will fight her way up.

 

[Odin's Lapdog]

Never put a woman on a pedestal because all she will do is pee all over you. .

how has this ever been a bad thing....

 

[Captain_Death]

Never stand behind a fat kid at a buffet...

 

[Edd Extraordinaire]

Never go to Old Country Buffet unless you need to s**t really bad.

 

[JLBats]

Living is easy with eyes closed.

 

[The Man Who]

It's very bad to steal Jobu's rum. It's VERY bad.

 

[Edd Extraordinaire]

Watch MTV and you're cool, but MTV commits hate crimes, and causes teste cancer. Do you want to be cool?

 

[Arsh]

When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun.

 

[hey yo its sean]

Man that stand on toilet is high on pot.?

 

[Obi-Ron]

I offer the advice Homer Simpson got from his father on his wedding night:

"If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything - because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine."

 

[The Last Meatbag]

Dont get fat

 

[ben_thuggin]

If someone is beating you in a fight, come up with an equalizer.

 

[freelancer]

Don't smoke, don't drink, refuse the sensual pleasures of the flesh...

 

[hey yo its sean]

Oh man, look at that; that's freakin awesome.

 

[JLBats]

Live life the way you want to live it, within reason. Spread love, not hate.

 

[hey yo its sean]

Don't eat yellow snow.

 

[user123456789]

Never use school toilets.