What if...

[CConn]

What if you had the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away.



WITH MIND BULLETS!

I'd make a belt of made out of Yak fur. I'd call it The Belt Of Yak.

What if you were emo?

 

[Landis-Wolf]

Id be playing the violin with my wrists.

What if there was another depression?

 

[Alpha and Omega]

Mass rioting, lawlessness, etc. . . blah, blah, blah, thin the herd


What if the olympics didn't exist?

 

[Fledermaus]

There would be no such thing as "amatuer" athletes

What if Gore won in 2000?

 

[CConn]

He would use his own greatest invention to fight terrorism; the atomic bomb.

What if Robert Blake righted the wrongs?

 

[Alpha and Omega]

The US would still have legitimate respect internationally.


What if Myspace was banned?

 

[CConn]

The civilized internet as a whole would come crashing down upon us, leaving only porn and get rich quick scams.

What if I could read backwards?

 

[Alpha and Omega]

Then you could speak in tongues.

What if trying something new wasn't necessary?

 

[CConn]

I'd do nothing all day than eat large bowls of Cream Of Wheat and watch Power Rangers marathons.

What if the Greeks lost the Battle of Marathon?

 

[Alpha and Omega]

Darius would own Alexander

What if time played favorites to every person concerning how fast they matured, aged, and died?

 

[CConn]

Dick Clark, Regis Philbin, and Michael Vick would fuse together to become a Superman-like creature of gigantic proportions.

What if John Madden got ahold of some super-secret anti-aging potion and came back to play Quarterback, Fullback, and Defensive End for the Raiders?

 

[Alpha and Omega]

Unless he was a player-coach, they still wouldn't see the Lombardi trophy.


What if Bill Parcels cried in public. . . on camera?

 

[Mister J]

All notable people in the NFL power circle would laugh uncontrollably and Tuna would never get into the Hall of Fame.


What if Kobe passed the ball?

 

[CConn]

What if Bill Parcels cried in public. . . on camera?

Dick Vermeil would call him a *****.

What if Kobe passed the ball?

Luke Walton would fake a shot, then pass it back to Kobe.

What if those M&Ms people finally stopped lying about M&Ms not melting in your hand? Because they do, I tell you.

 

[Alpha and Omega]

M&Ms are made of grass wheat, sugar substitutes, and day old cricket carcasses.

What if Conan O'brien merged w/ Jay Leno?

 

[Mister J]

What if Conan O'brien merged w/ Jay Leno?

You'd have the equivalent of Clayface and The Scarecrow merging. They would go on a huge crime spree and George Clooney would get deputized by the police, take on the identity of Batman and attempt to redeem himself (for Batman & Robin) by capturing the Leno/O'Brien monster.

What if ther was no more free porn available on the Internet?

 

[Alpha and Omega]

Internet usage would drop by 95%.

What if old war veterans at post offices across the country went postal simultaneously?

 

[Mister J]

No one would want to be a postal worker (or they'd all be dead). Subsequently, I wouldn't get my subscription to Maxim. I would then proceed to go postal myself. Confused by the paradox of not working for the post office, I would have to go on a bloody rampage, only to apprehended by Carrot Top, who will have increased his bench press to 425 pounds and mastered Aikido.


How did Carrot Top get as buff as he is already?

 

[Alpha and Omega]

"I don't know your honor, but I swear that I had nothing to do w/ it."

What if steroids in baseball were legalized?

 

[CConn]

How did Carrot Top get as buff as he is already.

Steroids...and BDSM.

What if steroids in baseball were legalized?

I'd probably never watch another baseball game again, honestly.

Sally Field; what if we didn't like her, really, really like her?

 

[Alpha and Omega]

We would treat her like Joan Rivers.

What if maraschino cherry plants were rendered extinct by over-indulgence in the product?

 

[CConn]

My Ice-Cream Martini would never be complete.

What if James Bond, while technically born in Britain, grew up near a Woolworths in Northern South Dakota?

 

[Mister J]

What if maraschino cherry plants were rendered extinct by over-indulgence in the product?

Fruit farmers in California and Florida would go berserk.

What if someone was able to bottle sex (to a very accurate degree)?

 

[Brodie The Wise]

they already did that, it's called bottled semen.

What if I couldn't find exact change for the toll booth

 

[Mister J]

What if James Bond, while technically born in Britain, grew up near a Woolworths in Northern South Dakota?

He would have died long before Roger Moore ever took over.


See the question in my last post to continue the thread.