What if...

BAH HUMBBUG! said:
He would find all of us here at the Hype and come deliver personal Roundhouse kicks signed with autographs to our heads.

What if a T-Rex ate Chuck Norris?
Chuck would viscously Roundhouse kick his way out of the T-Rex's small intestines. After kicking clear out of the stomach of the dinosaur, Norris would turn, see the now dying T-Rex's freakishly small arms, call it a "pansy" then proceed to swallow the T-Rex whole.
BAH HUMBBUG! said:
What if this website actually worked all the time?
Malice would have nothing to do in his spare time, so he'd take up golf, which he wouldn't be very good at, but would enjoy it anyway.

What if Jean Claude Van Damm could fly, but Chuck Norris could not?
 
CConn said:
Chuck would viscously Roundhouse kick his way out of the T-Rex's small intestines. After kicking clear out of the stomach of the dinosaur, Norris would turn, see the now dying T-Rex's freakishly small arms, call it a "pansy" then proceed to swallow the T-Rex whole.

What if Jean Claude Van Damm could fly, but Chuck Norris could not?

Chuck Norris would have Lazer eye beams installed.


What if Chuck Norris was Alec Guinness?
 
CConn said:
Chuck would viscously Roundhouse kick his way out of the T-Rex's small intestines. After kicking clear out of the stomach of the dinosaur, Norris would turn, see the now dying T-Rex's freakishly small arms, call it a "pansy" then proceed to swallow the T-Rex whole.

What if Jean Claude Van Damm could fly, but Chuck Norris could not?

Chuck Norris would see this and say to himself "there's no damn way some pansy ass canadian Chuck Norris wannabe is going to fly and I'm not!" Then Chuck Norris would make a mental phone call to God, tell him to change the evolution of the human species or else he would Rounshouse kick his way up to heaven then give God a few good licks. Since God doesn't want this he quickly agrees, changes the evolution of man so all Canadians officially called pansies, and even look like pansies, then Chuck would fly over to Pansy land formerly known as Canada, roundhouse kick and throat choke his way through all the pansies until he found Jean Claude Van Damm and stick Jean Claude's head up his ass and fart.

After farting Jean Claude'd head and entire body would disinigrate from the impact of Chuck's powerful fart. Then he would become King of pansy land and teach them roundhouses, make the Walker TExas Ranger music the nation's theme song and teach them how not to be pansies.

What if you could come up with a better Chuck Norris roundhouse story than I just did?
 
Mentok said:
What if Chuck Norris was Alec Guinness?
He would roundhouse kick the webmaster of NNDB.com to death because he put down "Bisexual" as his orientation rather than Chuck's trade-marked status; Chuck-sexual.

What if Gunsmoke was still on the air?
 
CConn said:
He would roundhouse kick the webmaster of NNDB.com to death because he put down "Bisexual" as his orientation rather than Chuck's trade-marked status; Chuck-sexual.

What if Gunsmoke was still on the air?

Chuck Norris would have all episodes re-filmed and he would star in all the roles.

What if I went to sleep right now?
 
BAH HUMBBUG! said:
What if I went to sleep right now?

Chuck norris would protect you from the flying Van Damme while he sang "We are the world" softly into your ear to make sure your dreams were sweet. In the morning he would wake you with a gentle kiss and roundhouse kick to the groin.

What if they cancelled "60 Minutes"?
 
an hour would be 59 minutes long.


what if nellie the elephant never packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus?
 
logansoldcigar said:
what if nellie the elephant never packed her trunk and said goodbye to the circus?

Then most Americans still wouldn't know what the hell you were talking about.



What if Spider-Man discovered Mary Jane was a lesbian?
 
The Lizard said:
Then most Americans still wouldn't know what the hell you were talking about.



What if Spider-Man discovered Mary Jane was a lesbian?

He'd web her up, teabag her and drink a barq's root beer.

What would happen if you stuck your finger down your throat?
 
venom4life said:
What would happen if you stuck your finger down your throat?

Last night's dinner would magically reappear.:confused:


What would happen if this country legalized automatic firearms?
 
Alpha and Omega said:
Last night's dinner would magically reappear.:confused:


What would happen if this country legalized automatic firearms?

the war would end faster

what if batman and superman switched bodies?
 
ironmaidenrules said:
what if batman and superman switched bodies?

They already did that when they punk'd Lois.:) They even videotaped it.

What if Jerry Seinfield decides to make another comedy?
 
Alpha and Omega said:
They already did that when they punk'd Lois.:) They even videotaped it.

What if Jerry Seinfield decides to make another comedy?


critics would say its either too seinfield or not seinfield enough

what if god was one of us?
 
ironmaidenrules said:
critics would say its either too seinfield or not seinfield enough

what if god was one of us?

He'd be a slob like one of us
(heh, don't really think that, but I like the song :))

What if you got a personal visit by Richard Simmons?
 
JewishHobbit said:
What if you got a personal visit by Richard Simmons?

I would hit him with a baseball bat and run for my life!!:eek:

What if the moon were made of baby-back ribs??
 
Superman79 said:
I would hit him with a baseball bat and run for my life!!:eek:

What if the moon were made of baby-back ribs??

I'd look at the window and the streets would be full of people jumping with their mouths upward,... like fish eating the food at the top of the fish tank,.. except that the people won't be able to reach the moon and will just look silly.

What if you woke up and realized it was all a dream?
 
JewishHobbit said:
I'd look at the window and the streets would be full of people jumping with their mouths upward,... like fish eating the food at the top of the fish tank,.. except that the people won't be able to reach the moon and will just look silly.

What if you woke up and realized it was all a dream?

I would smile and go back to sleep

What if you really had Superman's abilities??
 
If I had Superman's abilities, I would leave this rock and vacation throughout the Universe. Then I would return and conceal my ability, so I would not end up in a lab as a failed experimental test subject.

What if Technology disappeared, and we were thrust back to the Dark Ages?
 
Oh,.. and funny story. Richard Simmons came to the mall I use to work at one time for one of his work outs. A guy got on stage and started dancing (like they always do), except that this guy was good and Richard couldn't out do him. SO then Richard decides to just drop his drawers (revealing his granny panties). The bad part was that I was standing right behind him when it happened. My friend, Fred, and I cringed and ran back to our work with our eyes closed and crying. :(
 
Alpha and Omega said:
Moon light is not necessary. Commence w/ the Barbecue Royale.

What if Technology disappeared, and we were thrust back to the Dark Ages?

I'd invest in candles

Superman79 said:
What if you really had Superman's abilities??

I'd probably do nothing and keep them a secret. I'd rather not be famous.

What if the publisher's clearing stakes people came to your door!
 
I take the money and change my name and phone number.

What if you rose from you sleep, you stared in the mirror, and you realized that you were Frank Sinatra?
 
I'd role over and look at my wife and go "boo!" and laugh when she starts to scream in horror at this stranger in her bed.

What if you were running down the street and a bunny suddenly asked you for a smoke.
 
I would frame him, and marry Jessica.

What if you walked outside, and you realized that you were naked?
 
Alpha and Omega said:
I take the money and change my name and phone number.

What if you rose from you sleep, you stared in the mirror, and you realized that you were Frank Sinatra?

I woould be a very Happy man...Sinatra rules!! and he had a great life.

what if you woke up to a hand growing out your arse...?
 
Surgery.

What if could travel back in time? Where would go, and who would you see?
 

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