Why do men cheat?

[The Incredible Hulk]

As has been said, the cheating thing goes both ways, trust me on that.

And as to why it happens, well, I think generally people can be selfish and are dishonest with themselves and others. People generally want to know if the "grass is greener" on the other side without giving up what they've already got or have gotten used to in some cases.

This is why instead of just being honest with the person they're with (I'm talking spouses or at least committed relationships here) and telling that person they want something or someone else and dropping that relationship for the unkown, they'll go out and "cheat."

Personally as someone who's divorced and in their mid-30's and actively dating, if I'm in a relationship and decide there's someone else I might want to be with, I'll end the current relationship first. Certain people havent done that with me and I've been pretty pissed off about it. I have more respect for the woman that "dumps"
me to explore something else than one who goes behind my back just to see if something better is out there.

 

[terry78]

Crave excitement but can't get it at home.

 

[Anita18]

I think that people cheat because they are selfish, immature, and cowardly. And for me, there are (generally) no other reasons for being a cheater.

I wouldn't be surprised if part of the reason your friend is willing to cheat is to feel like a "man" again. Part of him probably feels emasculated because his wife is the main breadwinner.

And her not being social? B.S. man. I hate excuses like that. If she made him that unhappy, he could leave her and find someone who is as social as he is. But most cheaters don't do that because that would mean telling their partner that they are unhappy (not an easy thing for a coward to do) and actually leaving the stability of the relationship (which goes against their selfish sense of self-preservation). They could also try to work on their relationship and re-evaluate it. But why should they do all that work when they can cheat and get a cheap emotional high instead (immaturity)?

I find that when people cheat, it often has more to do with their own egos than anything else. They want to have a stable, happy relationship and still have the dip on the side. They wanna be able to prove to themselves that they still got it as it were.

My two cents.

This too. People can have pretty basic emotions, but we're capable of thinking and acknowledging that there are societal expectations that katie_girl09 touched on. Cheaters really just want to have it all without rocking their boat too much.

 

[Morg]

Title should be why do people cheat, I seen ladies cheat more then the guys in some cases

Never cheated on any of my ex's, 2 of them did on me though

 

[terry78]

Women are pretty much just better at keeping it under wraps. We tend to hoist ourselves by our own petards when we do it.

 

[Mace Dolex]

Alot of men want it both ways. They like the companionship of being in a relationship but they also like having sex with other women.

And like most guys I like to have some freedom too, that's why I don't plan on marrying for awhile, I want to go out on my own and fart without the wife around.

There are alot of men who I bet if their girlfriend or wife said they could sleep around with whoever they want and the wife would stay faithful to them they would do it.

Yeah like a free pass to instant vagina at any time.

 

[terry78]

As perverse as I am, if I was seeing a chick exclusive and she gave me that free pass, I'd feel bad as hell about doing it.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Hello all.

A few days ago, I was having a pretty candid convo with a married friend of mine where he outright admitted that, if given the chance, he'd have an affair. Now this isn't some sleezeball, he's a stay-at-home dad, married for 16-years, moved like 6 times across the country just to be with his wife kind of guy.

So it got me thinking, what is it that drives even guys like that to be okay with cheating on their wives? Is there one universal similarity that causes it? Or does it vary on the person? Why is it that men view affairs as being less...seismic than women do?

I've never officially cheated on a girl, but from my own experience, the similarity that I see between my own discontent with former girlfriends, and my friends experience is lack of engagement and companionship on the woman's part.

In my own experience, I was pushed away from one girlfriend into another girl's affections purely due to constantly receiving negative feedback and criticism from my then-girlfriend. Y'know, I think men like making their women feel special, and feel loved, and generally impressing them as much as possible. Once the woman seems to not be impressed anymore, and starts pointing out what's wrong, rather than stay in awe of what's right, a man will start looking for someone else to impress and amaze.

In my friend's case, his stated problem was his wife's unwillingness to be social or do much of anything outside of "watch Netflix and reread books." So, again, I think that's just another form of her actions making him feel rather inadequate and impotent as a mate, and thusly the desire for someone else is born.

Now, obviously, I'm not trying to excuse cheating or condone it in anyway, just answer the question as to why it occurs so readily. And I don't quite believe its as simple as "men are horny".

Honestly, if I had to hazard a guess I'd say women cheat far more often and far more secretly than men.

For some reason when I hit 27 I just began getting hit on a lot. I think it really came from seeing a therapist and just getting "around the block" a little more. Not just with girls. I've travelled a lot. Seen lots of things, met very important people, done some illegal things, very illegal and dangerous things...so I think ya'know, that gives me more appeal.

When women want it, they WANT it. They'll try any cheap ploy to get it.

"Oh, you need to come back to my house because blah blah blah...some stupid reason". Guys tend to have to be more direct, but girls will just stalk to f*** out of a guy.

Seriously women are just, I dunno, programmed to cheat. Men brag about sexual conquest, but most of it is bullsh**.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

As perverse as I am, if I was seeing a chick exclusive and she gave me that free pass, I'd feel bad as hell about doing it.

Men tend to advertise everyone and anyone they've brushed up against, let alone had sex with. It makes us less able to cheat. They desire might be as strong, but women are more like KGB agents when they cheat.

 

[warhorse78]

So, this would be an interesting survey. We know that women and men cheat on eachother on a regular basis. But, how do gay and lesbian relationships stack up. So far, in my neck of the woods, the Gays and Lesbians tend to have a stronger rate of staying together than heterosexuals. But what about relationships divided by races. Many of my friends who are Hispanic will stay far away from Spanish men, from their inability to keep their junk in their pants. But yet, all the Spanish men I know, put their wives/gf on pedestals.

What's all your takes on this?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

So, this would be an interesting survey. We know that women and men cheat on eachother on a regular basis. But, how do gay and lesbian relationships stack up. So far, in my neck of the woods, the Gays and Lesbians tend to have a stronger rate of staying together than heterosexuals. But what about relationships divided by races. Many of my friends who are Hispanic will stay far away from Spanish men, from their inability to keep their junk in their pants. But yet, all the Spanish men I know, put their wives/gf on pedestals.

What's all your takes on this?

All that's just a show. Humans behave relatively the same across the board IMO.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

This thread is blanket statement city. So many of you have met "most men" and "most women", it's amazing.

 

[Midnyte_Sun]

"Because of women" - Al Bundy

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I kind of like the notion that most people are pieces of sh**, that way I can act pleasantly surprised when I find someone who isn't. - Luke Cage.

 

[Lily Adler]

BLANCHE: The same reason a dog licks himself, because he can.

 

[terry78]

I have to be honest, I would have considered smashing Blanche back when she was on that show.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Yeah, okay, maybe

 

[Sundancer]

Not much I can say that hasn't been said except:

How do we know animals never cheat?

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Not much I can say that hasn't been said except:

How do we know animals never cheat?

Because they are incapable of promising committment to each other.

 

[AnakinSolo]

Because they are evolutionarily programed too in case a commitment to one female does not work out. It's something human ancestors did on the Savannah.

 

[Immortalfire]

This thread is blanket statement city. So many of you have met "most men" and "most women", it's amazing.

It reminds me of the question every girl I know has asked, "Why are guys such jerks?"

 

[RedIsNotBlue]

This thread is blanket statement city. So many of you have met "most men" and "most women", it's amazing.

Well it's not really...no. It is human behavior...I mean if you are willing to accept scientific studies. It all depends on what your personal definition of cheating is though.

 

[terry78]

Basically blanket statements erupt from the bad experiences we've had with a few. But if you start to see a pattern.....hey.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

Basically blanket statements erupt from the bad experiences we've had with a few. But if you start to see a pattern.....hey.

This must be it. G/f cheats on you? All women are whoooores!

 

[RedIsNotBlue]

This must be it. G/f cheats on you? All women are whoooores!

I've never had anyone cheat on me and I have never cheated but I still believe that most people cheat and it is in their nature to do so. But then again it all depends on your definition. I probably have a more strict definition than a lot of people. For example I would say if a guy who is married goes to a strip club and lies to his wife about it...I would consider that cheating or being unfaithful.