WHy do women 40 & older want a man that has been divorced vs a never married dude

[dumbdumduccan]

1 of my friends was telling me this about these women he meets. This makes no sense. Why do women that are in their 40s feel that a man that has been married & divorced is a better catch than a man than have never been married? To me, logically, a man that have never been married is one that has either: not met the right woman

OR

made good smart relationship choices & has avoided all of the emotional baggage of a divorce.



Why do these women see a divorce as a good thing? I dont get it!

 

[cryptic name]

they want someone as bitter as them to share what's left of their miserable wasted lives.

 

[dumbdumduccan]

they want someone as bitter as them to share what's left of their miserable wasted lives.

LMAO

 

[7Hells]

Because they know he can commit

 

[7Hells]

Double post sorry
A man thats old enough to marry a woman of that age that still hasnt married has to have some issues.

 

[Manic]

Because they know he can commit

Or at the very least, he's tried to commit.

"Oh yeah, divorced men are the best boyfriends. Eager to please. Tons of s*** to prove." --Jessica Jones, Alias

 

[Mr. Credible]

i took home a bartender from the bar tonight... she was 44, and i'm 22... so...

 

[Alpha and Omega]

Why do these women see a divorce as a good thing? I dont get it!

Who knows? I don't think that all women would have that same opinion, but Manic's quote made some sense. I don't know why anyone would run to a divorced person though; usually both parties are at fault for issues that cause a divide.

One of my friends refers to his wedding ring as the 'world's smallest handcuff', and he's happily married. . . or so he says. Modern marriage in general seems counter-productive to the notion of happiness imo.

i took home a bartender from the bar tonight... she was 44, and i'm 22... so...

Her age equals the number of times that scenario has happened. . .

for her. ​

 

[dumbdumduccan]

Wow!. This is really what women think? Such discrimination against never married men! Whatever happened to judging people based on their character rather than sterotyping them based on pre conceived notions?

 

[Themanofbat]

My opinion is that never-married men in their 40's have never been married for a reason... <fill in the balnk for whatever geeky/nerdy reason you can think of...> and for the most part, many of these men might be looking for "motherly" types, and who wants to be someone's mother?

All of this is based on stereotypes, as not all 40 year old never-married men fall into some needy geeky/nerdy mama's boy category, but they are perceived that way by a lot of women in that age group looking for men.

 

[dumbdumduccan]

So then a comic book hobby is the kiss od death! LOL

I have never been married but my comic book hobby has never been a problem for the women that I have been in a long term relationships with. I see the comic book thing as a good test of character. If it turns off a woman, then she is flawed. She might be the type that would rather date a man that is addicted to p0rn or drugs & drinks all his $$ away rather than a harmless hobby like comic books.

 

[November Rain]

this question could really be brought down to

why do women want to date people other people have dated rather than completely relationship novices...

although marriage usually brings baggage, it shows a maturity in wanting to commit hopefully) rather than someone who is still single and most likely isn't likely to be commiting to anyone (especially of his own age group) any time soon.

saying his though, this is the first time i've come across this social phenomenon you speak of.

 

[C. Lee]

1 of my friends was telling me this about these women he meets. This makes no sense. Why do women that are in their 40s feel that a man that has been married & divorced is a better catch than a man than have never been married?

A man who has never been married....has no experience with the situations that arise from being in a marriage....such as the total commitment to it. Also....there is the chance that there are serious reasons why he has never been married...reasons that would doom one from the outset.

To me, logically, a man that have never been married is one that has either: not met the right woman

Or has met the right woman/women....and they were smart enough to find out that he was too big of a problem to get involved with.

OR

made good smart relationship choices & has avoided all of the emotional baggage of a divorce.

...or, he was unable to commit so cut and run at the first sign of a problem.

Why do these women see a divorce as a good thing? I dont get it!

It's not so much that they see "divorce" as a good thing...but that they find that someone who has committed to a marriage before in life has more experiences with situations that can be benificial in the future.

 

[HellOnEarth]

Divorce is a sin.

 

[dumbdumduccan]

A man who has never been married....has no experience with the situations that arise from being in a marriage....such as the total commitment to it. Also....there is the chance that there are serious reasons why he has never been married...reasons that would doom one from the outset.


Or has met the right woman/women....and they were smart enough to find out that he was too big of a problem to get involved with.

...or, he was unable to commit so cut and run at the first sign of a problem.

It's not so much that they see "divorce" as a good thing...but that they find that someone who has committed to a marriage before in life has more experiences with situations that can be benificial in the future.

Yes, this makes sense. What if the man in question has been in long term relationships & all but they never resulted in marriage? SO he has the xp.

 

[C. Lee]

Yes, this makes sense. What if the man in question has been in long term relationships & all but they never resulted in marriage? SO he has the xp.

Many people don't consider a "long term" relationship the same as a "until death" marriage.

Although divorce is easier to attain and more acceptable to the mainstream public today than it was years ago.....people still feel that there is more of an emotional and mental commitment between the two parties when they sign the marriage license.

When you get married....you make a legal agreement to be together....you sign a license that effects ALL of your future legal dealings...you make a solemn vow to be with each other. Yes, these can all be done away with....through the legal system, over time, and costing money....but until you are declared divorced by a court of law....you have to work together.

When you are in a long term relationship.....you don't have the legal rights that a married couple do....you can pick up and leave at the drop of a hat, and nothing can be done about it....there is no law to back you or your mate in most decisions with your lifes like there are with a married couple.

So, yes.....many people see a difference between the two situations.

 

[Ronny Shade]

Divorces are good ways for women to get other people's hard-earned money.

 

[C. Lee]

Divorce is a sin.

To some it is yes.....but remember this:

So is pride....and acting superior to others....and not showing love, kindness, and understanding towards others....let's not forget "Judge not, lest ye be judged" or "he who is without sin cast the first stone".

 

[dumbdumduccan]

Many people don't consider a "long term" relationship the same as a "until death" marriage.

Although divorce is easier to attain and more acceptable to the mainstream public today than it was years ago.....people still feel that there is more of an emotional and mental commitment between the two parties when they sign the marriage license.

When you get married....you make a legal agreement to be together....you sign a license that effects ALL of your future legal dealings...you make a solemn vow to be with each other. Yes, these can all be done away with....through the legal system, over time, and costing money....but until you are declared divorced by a court of law....you have to work together.

When you are in a long term relationship.....you don't have the legal rights that a married couple do....you can pick up and leave at the drop of a hat, and nothing can be done about it....there is no law to back you or your mate in most decisions with your lifes like there are with a married couple.

So, yes.....many people see a difference between the two situations.

This is true, unless you live with someone for longer than 6 months. Then if they break up, there are legal matters to consider in terms of division or property, assets, etc.

 

[C. Lee]

This is true, unless you live with someone for longer than 6 months. Then if they break up, there are legal matters to consider in terms of division or property, assets, etc.

The legal ramifications differ from state to state as to "live in" rights....and the legal matters are more all encompassing in marriage.

 

[War Lord]

1 of my friends was telling me this about these women he meets. This makes no sense. Why do women that are in their 40s feel that a man that has been married & divorced is a better catch than a man than have never been married? To me, logically, a man that have never been married is one that has either: not met the right woman

OR

made good smart relationship choices & has avoided all of the emotional baggage of a divorce.



Why do these women see a divorce as a good thing? I dont get it!

As a marriage counselor told me, a once-married man has experience in the give and take of relationships, whereas a never-married man doesn't and that is a benefit.

 

[Alpha and Omega]

Divorce is a sinsational way to transition into a newer healthier way of life.

fixed it for you.

When you get married....you make a legal agreement to be together....you sign a license that effects ALL of your future legal dealings...you make a solemn vow to be with each other. Yes, these can all be done away with....through the legal system, over time, and costing money....but until you are declared divorced by a court of law....you have to work together.

When you are in a long term relationship.....you don't have the legal rights that a married couple do....you can pick up and leave at the drop of a hat, and nothing can be done about it....there is no law to back you or your mate in most decisions with your lifes like there are with a married couple.

So, yes.....many people see a difference between the two situations.

Nice contrast. I definitely agree w/ this.

 

[cryptic name]

i still think my original answer makes the most sense