Why Do People Stay in Bad Relationships?

[The Guard]

I think Spider-Who nailed it. Codependent behavior is a very big reason for this kind of thing.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I have a couple of friends who keep trying to break up at the moment.

Trouble is, it's a small town, they are both in the same friendship group, and it's just impossible for them to not have to hang out together.

Add a little bit of alcohol into that equation, and the fact that they both still do have feelings for each other, and neither of them likes being alone... and you have this impossible situation.

But they are sooooo bad for each other. They argue all the time, she never has a nice thing to say about him, he lost his job, home and driving license because of problems they've had and the fact that they drink and do drugs whenever they go out together.

I wish I knew how to break them up, because TBH, it's getting impossible to be around them for all of the people on the outside too.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

My sister was in a bad relationship, not abusive or anything, just two people who shouldn't be together. It really seemed like one of those situations where they still loved each other, but just didn't actually like each other. They were more like roommates than a couple. There were numerous times when they talk about breaking up, but it never happened. Finally though a month or two ago, my sister got the courage to finally break things off for good. I really think it was just a matter of both them playing relationship chicken, neither of them wanting to be the one to finally end it.

 

[Wolfwood]

Another reason: good sex. That can make people stay a lot longer than they wanted.

This is true. I wasn't in an abusive relationship, but we did argue about **** a lot. It was clear we weren't right for each other, but we were comfortable with what we had and the make-up sex was pretty great. That prolonged it for a few months longer than it normally would have lasted.

 

[enterthemadness]

You know why people stay in bad relationships? Because sometimes it is the only way they get some. *drops mic*

 

[NewYorkSpider]

I know a girl that hates being in a relationship with a guy, yet she still stays with him. The guy is controling and has to know where she is 24/7. One night while at the bar he called her and told her to come home. She hung up the phone and took her hand and made a gun out of it and pretended to shoot herself.

I asked her if she really feels that way, why are you still with him.? She told me that she feels bad if she left him. I've given up on trying to convince her to leave him. It's never going to happen. I just hope that she doesn't get pregnant with his child. It will never have a normal life.

 

[terry78]

You notice the more at each other's throats you are, the better the sex is?

 

[Anita18]

You notice the more at each other's throats you are, the better the sex is?

Not the way my friend describes her relationship with her husband. I think he basically treats her like a lowly servant that only exists to keep the house clean and the children taken care of.

In my friend's case, she won't leave him because she's religious and doesn't believe in divorce. She DID file divorce papers more than once though, so I think she can still be turned. But first we have to convince her that leaving him to pursue real happiness won't relegate her to eternal hellfire.

And then...she's still in love with her pre-hubby ex who's married and recently had a baby. So even if she DID leave her husband, she'd probably end up back in the arms of a man she previously dated, even one 10 years ago. She's deathly afraid of change and newness, which I see every day so it isn't surprisingly in the least. Making her own way in the world without any baggage is probably unfathomable to her. It's really sad to watch.

So...yeah. I suppose some people stay in bad relationships because they are simply afraid of change.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Some people believe they deserve to be treated badly. My mom, for instance, stayed in a horrible relationship with my step-dad until he died. To this day she misses him, even though he treated her worse than a dog. When I ask her why, she says that when she made her marriage vows, she meant them regardless of how he treated her. Deep down inside, I think she feels that she deserved this because of things she did in her past.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Not the way my friend describes her relationship with her husband. I think he basically treats her like a lowly servant that only exists to keep the house clean and the children taken care of.

In my friend's case, she won't leave him because she's religious and doesn't believe in divorce. She DID file divorce papers more than once though, so I think she can still be turned. But first we have to convince her that leaving him to pursue real happiness won't relegate her to eternal hellfire.

And then...she's still in love with her pre-hubby ex who's married and recently had a baby. So even if she DID leave her husband, she'd probably end up back in the arms of a man she previously dated, even one 10 years ago. She's deathly afraid of change and newness, which I see every day so it isn't surprisingly in the least. Making her own way in the world without any baggage is probably unfathomable to her. It's really sad to watch.

So...yeah. I suppose some people stay in bad relationships because they are simply afraid of change.

Is your friend Jinouga? If you change the specific labels like husband, ex, baby, etc... to evil doers, spell casters and people intentional stopping happiness it'd sound a lot like one of her posts.

 

[WildcatNC]

You notice the more at each other's throats you are, the better the sex is?

This applies to relationships, not a marriage. Thats a whole 'nother animal.

 

[Anita18]

Is your friend Jinouga? If you change the specific labels like husband, ex, baby, etc... to evil doers, spell casters and people intentional stopping happiness it'd sound a lot like one of her posts.

Oh God I've been reading too many of Jinouga's posts.

But no, no violent gangs involved that necessitates the FBI. Just stupidity.

 

[IronFist]

People, like all other living beings, are organs of habits. Every change in life, even the smallest one, is met with bigger or smaller dose of inertia.

So if you're in relationship you're more afraid to think what will happen if it ends than you're afraid of bad things in that relationship simply because you're used to it. Only when level of tolerance reaches unbearable heights you'll reason against that habit, meaning against that relationship.

 

[SpaceWay2009]

Some reasons that I can think of at the top of my head are: they have kids, they have no where else to go, and/or they really do love the person, but just can't help fighting.

 

[RockSP]

This applies to relationships, not a marriage. Thats a whole 'nother animal.

Depends on the marriage. That's all my brother and his ex did...argue and screw.

 

[WildcatNC]

Depends on the marriage. That's all my brother and his ex did...argue and screw.

Regular relationships normally can go on for a long time like that. A marriage rarely makes it long like that.

At least from what i've seen.

 

[CConn]

My last girlfriend got so obsessed with me not liking her enough, she quite literally drove me away, and pretty much made me not like her at all.

I mean, it's one thing to be self-conscious, it's another to claim that I have more emotional and romantic interest in Taylor Swift and my own sister than her.

Creepy.

 

[El Payaso]

My last girlfriend got so obsessed with me not liking her enough, she quite literally drove me away, and pretty much made me not like her at all.

I mean, it's one thing to be self-conscious, it's another to claim that I have more emotional and romantic interest in Taylor Swift and my own sister than her.

Creepy.

You think that's creepy? 15 years ago or so I was in a relationship. Once we were talking about *********ion and I said I had read it was quite a healthy activity...

...and yes, she got jealous... Jealous of my... own... hand... because she wanted to be the 'only one' making me feel good.

THAT's creepy.

 

[CConn]

Hah. My ex was kinda bothered by that too, actually.

Worst, she would say I was cheating on her whenever I even spoke to any other women, but then would go out and have coffee with other guys and didn't see the problem (or, more troubling, the hypocrisy) of it.

My current gf is soooo much better. She hates most people in general, doesn't get jealous of anything short of actual cheating, and when he's mad, she just stops talking until she's not mad anymore, leaving me to enjoy the quiet and read comics.

Oh! My ex girlfriend would also hate it when I got excited about getting new comics on Wednesday because I should've been excited to see her instead.

 

[El Payaso]

Hah. My ex was kinda bothered by that too, actually.

Worst, she would say I was cheating on her whenever I even spoke to any other women, but then would go out and have coffee with other guys and didn't see the problem (or, more troubling, the hypocrisy) of it.

My current gf is soooo much better. She hates most people in general, doesn't get jealous of anything short of actual cheating, and when he's mad, she just stops talking until she's not mad anymore, leaving me to enjoy the quiet and read comics.

Oh! My ex girlfriend would also hate it when I got excited about getting new comics on Wednesday because I should've been excited to see her instead.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA! Ah, women, the material they gave us just never ends.

 

[Hound55]

Because people are idiots.

 

[SpaceWay2009]

You think that's creepy? 15 years ago or so I was in a relationship. Once we were talking about *********ion and I said I had read it was quite a healthy activity...

...and yes, she got jealous... Jealous of my... own... hand... because she wanted to be the 'only one' making me feel good.

THAT's creepy.

LMAO! That is too funny!

 

[RockSP]

You think that's creepy? 15 years ago or so I was in a relationship. Once we were talking about *********ion and I said I had read it was quite a healthy activity...

...and yes, she got jealous... Jealous of my... own... hand... because she wanted to be the 'only one' making me feel good.

Hah. My ex was kinda bothered by that too, actually.

To paraphrase Chris Rock: women want to be the only source of a man's happiness. If she catches you *********ing, she gets mad because you are making yourself happy.

 

[CConn]

No, crazy women do.

When I mentioned *********ion to my current girlfriend she went "that seems beneath you, but okay."

 

[RockSP]

Yeah well, Chris Rock is a comedian, so...