Are people afraid to give firm handshakes?

[Godzilla2000]

I was born in 1976, so I aint no teenybopper. I think a hand shake is about as telling about a person as any other surface detail. Which is to say, not telling at all. A pure bred professional BSer is going to have a great hand shake and come off as the person who has the most conviction in the world. Doesn't mean squat. Real actions tell me more about a person than surface detail. Also... What does "political correctness" have to do with any of this at all?

You're still a kid to me.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

I give people what I like to call The Seagal Handshake.

That is to say, I try to get someone more qualified to deliver the actual handshake.

I thought the Seagal handshake is when you don't bother to show up for the ADRing of the handshake in post production and they get a soundalike to dub your handshake?

 

[I SEE SPIDEY]

I don't mind people giving weak handshakes, my handshakes aren't strong. I'm kinda a loner so I don't love touching people anyway (I'm working on that) but I won't turn down a handshake or a quick hug. Maybe this thread doesn't apply to women though, maybe you'd be okay with my weak handshake? I don't think you should read so much into how people press the flesh though.

 

[BeserkerHilf]

There's a difference between a firm handshake and an overbearing handshake. I worked at a furniture store and whether the salesperson or customer liked it, we had to greet them as they walked in the door. I had a way to diffuse the usually awkward situation by saying hello first and, if they weren't obnoxious enough to ignore someone who's simply saying hello, then I'd extend a handshake for a more personal, at ease greeting.

I always found it to be incredibly rude for people to blow it off and give the limpdick handshake, because to show such a general lack of respect and disinterest to another person is the "chicken or the egg" moment for how good and honest salespeople get the reputation for being stalkers and bottom feeders.

On the other side, when the customer would squeeze too hard, there's a clear sign that person is an a**hole. When you refuse to let another person out of an overly long and painful handshake, you're intentionally putting it out there that you're a d*** and you're not someone I want to give the time of day.

to say the least, you can tell a lot from a person's handshake.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Give me a hand crushing handshake dammit!!!!

 

[Project862006]

who shakes hands anymore it is the fist bump that has been in!!!

 

[Anubis]

Yeah, I'm more of a fist bump kinda guy. I mean, considering what I do with my hands, I can't even imagine what everybody else does with theirs. So I really don't wanna risk touchin' that s**t.

 

[KRYPTON INC.]

Anubis... Lord of the Dead and King of TMI.

 

[Xeno]

I'm not averse to handshakes but I prefer a moderate grip to the sort of bone-crushing squeeze some people like to give. I have a severe form of arthritis that has destroyed many of my finger joints. Some of the joints in my right hand had to be removed and replaced. When someone tries to make a point about their sincerity or manliness by grabbing my hand in a vise-like grip, it's excruciating. For years I just avoided handshakes altogether when I could to keep from having my damaged joints crushed.


Handshakes aren't some sort of major character issue. They are just a quick social greeting that should be forgotten as soon as they're over. (Unless someone has caused physical pain, in which case I remember that **** forever. )

 

[Anubis]

Dude, you should totally go to a Job Fair and sue people for crushing your hand.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Fist bumps are not appropriate in a business setting. I think this overly informal behavior in professional settings is what makes me annoyed the most. You know, I'm going to shake people's hands more often.

 

[Lantern Venom]

I go for a weak handshake because I try not to hurt your hand. Then some guy comes with a hard one and tries to act like he's tougher than me because he came harder.

There's my answer, too. I'm a big guy, and my parents gave me the "be gentle" mantra from an early age. As an adult, I'm aware that some people will sue for any reason. Unless I'm shaking hands with someone comparable to me in size or he/she looks particularly strong, I'm only going to give a little hand jiggle and let go.

 

[chamber-music]

Fist bumps are the future. If everyone fist bumped we wouldn't have to worry about this firm handshake rubbish.

 

[The Question]

I think it's due to a few shifting cultural attitudes. First of all, as a society we're a lot more accepting of people just straight up being uncomfortable with physical contact, so there's much less of a social pressure to feign enthusiasm during a handshake or the like to hide your discomfort. Second, initiating physical contact in a greeting the first time you meet someone is becoming a lot less common, folks these days tend to reserve that for people they already know well, so shaking someone's hand the first time you meet them just feels oddly intimate to a lot of younger folks these days. Thirdly, handshakes themselves are just less common. Going in for a hug has sort of replaced them as the standard greeting for your friends these days and a nod and a wave of the hand has sort of taken their place in initial meetings.

Of course, this is all based on my personal observations so I could be wrong about all of this.

 

[Teelie]

A lot of people just plain don't know how to shake hands anymore so rather than try too hard and doing it wrong they just do a quick, brief one to show politeness. Though obviously some people find it insulting for some reason. As if shaking hands ever conveyed anything honest or true about a person.

 

[the last son]

Exactly Teelie. my father always gets upset with me because I do soft handshakes. It was really annoying as a child. People who want to control things actually put merit in handshakes.

 

[E-Man]

Fist bumps are not appropriate in a business setting. I think this overly informal behavior in professional settings is what makes me annoyed the most. You know, I'm going to shake people's hands more often.

They are to all the cool kids. Word life.

 

[chamber-music]

I've never met a person under 40 who makes a big deal out of handshakes. It seems to be the older generations who are obsessed with handshake etiquette.

I honestly don't give that much though about shaking peoples hands. I don't care if they give me a strong or limp handshake.

 

[Spidey-Bat]

I don't know what constitutes a good/firm handshake. Besides, does anyone ever remember a person's handshake after the first meeting? I think the only handshakes people remember are truly bad ones such as squeezing too hard or having a cold, sweaty hand.

 

[BeserkerHilf]

It's not the actual handshake we're remembering, it's the first impression as a result of the handshake that we remember.

 

[Still Wynning]

I usually only try to give a firm handshake if it's someone I know really well or if it's a friend of my dad's. I probably wouldn't do it to a female because I'd probably crush their hand. t:

I think it's good to give a good firm handshake the first time around, because that's the very first impression the other person will get from you.

 

[Doctor Evo]

There's a difference between a firm handshake and a crushing handshake. People who are afraid to give a firm handshake for fear of hurting someone (LOL, by the way) just need to practice and to learn the difference.

You don't go in trying to uncomfortably compress their hand, and you don't go in and try to break their bones. You grip their hand so that if they were to gently pull away, you wouldn't lose your grip. I think that's a pretty solid guideline. You'll know when to break off the handshake when one person's grip relaxes.

 

[Spider-Who?]

Chocolate pretzel handshake or go home.

 

[E-Man]

Chocolate pretzel handshake or go home.

 

[webhead9707]

I always go for a firm handshake, personally. I don't try to crush their hand, but, still.