Best Excuses. EVER.

[BRUTAL]

I'm bigger, I win. But I suppose I can share.

 

[knowsbleed]

"Me bum is swollen"

 

[hammy]

I'm bigger, I win. But I suppose I can share.

I'll only share the excuse if you'll share the pms.

 

[Argyle of Sock]

8. I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.

Ugh...ouchie!

 

[BRUTAL]

I'll only share the excuse if you'll share the pms.

Sure, I think I can manage to fly off the handle for no reason.

 

[Docker2.0]

That guys black and I'm a cop. Hello! I'm suppose to abuse him!

 

[knowsbleed]

"I drank Pepsi instead of Coke...and now I don't feel so good"

 

[BlackLantern]

This new white girl moved in next door and I got the ivory fever.....but I still love you

 

[hammy]

Sure, I think I can manage to fly off the handle for no reason.

Deal!

 

[Docker2.0]

It was either you or me and as you know, sex appeal is the most important thing there is!

 

[Jerry!]

"I was present during 9/11, treat me like a hero."

 

[Docker2.0]

"Wait! You sat on my hand! I should be the one suing you for sexual harassment!"














But I'll settle out of court for $2 and a Big Mac with cheese.

 

[bullets]

i have to find myself

 

[DarthRekal]

john david booty

 

[Sloth7d]

It's against my religion/culture.

 

[bullets]

i was molested

 

[Noir]

"Dog ate my penis."

 

[Majik1387]

It's not me, it's you.

I like you, but I'm not in like with you.

 

[Noir]

"I was present during 9/11, treat me like a hero."

 

[Manic]

Someone tried to steal my car, but I have Lojack, so I assembled a posse, tracked them down on foot, and dished out what I like to call "street justice." That's why I missed our wedding.

 

[Jerry!]

*ding ding ding* And he will use it all the way to the nomination of Republican presidential candidate and beyond.

 

[Noir]

*ding ding ding* And he will use it all the way to the nomination of Republican presidential candidate and beyond.

Q: How do you feel about eggs?
A: Well you know, I used to not like eggs but now in this post-911 world you really see eggs as sort as a mirror of terrorism and by cracking those eggs you destroy that terrorism and insure that another 911 doesn't happen.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

"I have a wide stance."

 

[Ice-man]

"A dog ate my, uhhhh.....penis?"

 

[November Rain]

3.The porn is on in the background merely for mood lighting






2.Wardrobe MALFUNCTION

and i know it's wrong and not PC but i remember the best excuse for something while at school was because...

Spoiler

1.You're gay

i know, shame on me but it still gives me a small smile...